The Kunoichi Three
by Grimrose Eilwynn
Summary: In a world where Academy students are preteens instead of children, the Hokage elects Mitarashi Anko to knock some sense into the three female members of the future Rookie Nine. All-kunoichi team. Eventual Gaara/Sakura, Kankurou/Hinata, Male!Temari/Ino. Eventual Sand Sibs as Konoha ambassadors. Kakashi/Anko.
1. Chapter 1

Extended Summary:

In a world where ninja are twelve or thirteen when they start ninja training, instead of eight or nine, three girls and one woman stand out.

Each girl has their own set of problems at the beginning of their ninja training...

Yamanaka Ino is one of the wild, crazy, popular "mean" girls a la Lana Del Rey's "This Is What Makes Us Girls." She's also a bully who looks down on those less popular than herself. She has a horrible relationship with her stiff, proper mother, and her father doesn't know what to do with her anymore. Her so-called "friends" don't really act like her friends at all, she drinks and has sex often, and some new drama is always popping up in her life.

Haruno Sakura is being raised by a single civilian mother who doesn't understand her desire to be a ninja. She hides a lot from her mother, including the fact that she is picked on and bullied by many of the more popular girls at ninja school, including her ex friend Ino. She is a nerdy, skinny bookworm with a huge forehead who spends a lot of her time feeling like she's "not good enough." The only thing she has in common with Ino anymore is their shared crush on the cool, rich, and handsome (though emotionally unavailable and snobbish) Uchiha Sasuke.

Hyuuga Hinata has been ousted from position of clan heiress by her little sister, and her father and older cousin have told her in no uncertain terms that she is a huge disappointment to her family. She is depressed and deeply suicidal, cripplingly shy and horribly timid and basically friendless. The only bright spot in her life is her crush on the class clown and rebel from the bad section of town, Uzumaki Naruto - and he doesn't even know she exists.

Meanwhile…

Mitarashi Anko, a young woman in one of the most elite ranks in the ninja forces, seems like she has it all. But on the inside, her life is a mess. Her mentor and lover Orochimaru betrayed her and the village and ran away, leaving her for dead; her romantic life is in shambles; her apartment is a mess; she drinks too much; and everyone in her village mistrusts her because of fears that she will betray her village and turn missing nin like Orochimaru. But Anko is tough as nails and she tells it like it is, and the leader of her village thinks she might just be the best thing for three young kunoichi first starting at the Ninja Academy…

Because…

The Hokage has a problem. His kunoichi are becoming cannon fodder. Not motivated by war, taught by male teachers, surrounded by male peers, most of them either drop out or become obsessed with some boy or another - stalking, going on fad diets, and ignoring their training. The Hokage suggests having women teach women and men teach men, but the council, against this, insists he give this idea a test run first, on one team. A team of all women, training together at the Academy level, then coming together again at the Genin team level. So the Hokage agrees. And he sends Mitarashi Anko to privately tutor Hyuuga Hinata, Yamanaka Ino, and Haruno Sakura. Hey, he figures. If they can make it, anyone can.

* * *

 **The Kunoichi Three**

1.

One of Yamanaka Ino's friends was pregnant. This was made more complicated by the fact that she and her friends were only preteens.

"I took a pregnancy test," the girl sobbed, mascara running down out of her beautiful eyes. "It came back positive."

"That's what abortions are for," said another girl in their group, scowling, hand on her hip.

"Do you remember who the father is?" Ino asked. They'd all gone out drinking last week, and the week before that, and the week before that. A lot of sex happened at these parties, and sometimes you just didn't remember who with.

No one complained. Sneaking out of your house late at night and going to parties like that meant you were popular.

The girl shook her head, overwhelmed. "No," she said, "I don't remember. I don't know what I'm going to do."

"Well, when you figure it out, let us know," said the lead girl, and she kept walking. Everyone else followed her. The pregnant girl stared after them with wide, betrayed eyes.

Ino looked back over her shoulder, and felt guilt, despite herself. "If you ever need help with anything, give me a call," she told the pregnant girl, and the girl nodded gratefully.

"Getting weak-willed, Yamanaka?" the lead girl asked as they kept on their walk to the Ninja Academy, where they were first years in training.

"It's not her fault it happened," said Ino.

"It sure as hell is. That's what birth control is for."

"You know as well as I do birth control doesn't always work."

The leader sneered, beautiful and cruel. "Whatever," she said.

Ino knew the score. She'd expected it. Never come to any of your friends with anything personal or confidential, because they'll make fun of you and then tell everyone. That was how it worked. And if you showed pity or compassion for the less popular? Expect to get made fun of. Then get back at the girl who made fun of you and rip her a new one at the next available opportunity. Oh, and the last rule? Guys _always_ came first.

The ins and outs of popularity.

They arrived on campus and passed by Haruno Sakura - skinny and nerdy with a large forehead, her arms full of books and a childish ribbon through her hair - in the hallway. "There she is, look, it's Forehead Girl!" the lead girl crowed, gleeful. "What's up, Forehead Girl? You gonna try to impress Iruka-sensei again? Got a hard on for the teacher, have you?"

Haruno clutched her books, giving that ridiculous little pouty frown. "You're just jealous because your grades suck," she muttered sullenly.

The girls shrieked with laughter - Ino included. "What about me?" Ino asked smugly. "I have some of the best grades in our year, Haruno - just like you. The difference is, I'm not a _freak_."

Haruno looked at her with betrayed green eyes, ducking her head so that her pink hair fell in front of her face. That one, Ino knew, had stung - because Haruno Sakura and Yamanaka Ino used to be childhood friends.

Then they'd gotten a crush on the same guy, and Ino had gone the popular route, and Sakura had gone the straight-A bookworm route. Sakura was the one who had broken it off. "I don't think we can be friends anymore," she'd said, frowning firmly.

Ino told herself that hadn't stung. She also told herself she didn't pick on Haruno out of some sense of vindictiveness. If Haruno didn't want to be made fun of, she thought, she should conform - she shouldn't be such a weirdo. And she shouldn't go after Ino's guy, Uchiha Sasuke, who was so far above Haruno in popularity there was no hope for her anyway.

Uchiha Sasuke was cool, rich, and handsome. He belonged with _Ino_.

Speaking of Sasuke, he was passing by in the hallway on his own way to class. Pale, dark-haired, and lithely muscular, he was the classic dark pretty boy. Ino would do anything to fuck that.

"Sasuke-kun!" she squealed, hurrying over to him and rubbing up against him. "How are you today? Want to eat lunch together?"

Sakura's eyes widened and she hurried over to be with Sasuke as well, to get his attention - "Sasuke-ku -!" she started - but one of Ino's friends tripped her and she collapsed ungracefully, books and papers flying everywhere. There were sharp, high-pitched giggles. "Nice, Forehead Girl," said Ino, smirking.

Sakura's face had turned to flame, and tears filled her eyes. And what filled Ino was _not_ guilt - that was what she told herself quite firmly.

Sasuke gazed distantly at the whole affair, contempt filling his expression. "Stay out of my way," he said quietly, pulling out of Ino's grasp, and in that same emotionless way he did everything, he continued on down the hall.

"See you later, Sasuke-kun!" Ino called brightly after him. Someday, things would be different. Someday, if she was good enough to him, he would notice her.

Ino continued on down the hall, and her friends followed her, stepping over Haruno with some mutters of, "Clumsy freak," and "See you later, Forehead Girl." Ino could feel Sakura's humiliated glare on her back all the way into the classroom.

Classes passed by in a blur, lunch amid a large knot of popular boys and girls, Ino picking at her salad. (All the kunoichi who really wanted something from a guy didn't exercise much and were on diets - even nerds like Haruno and that weird shy, silent girl Hyuuga. Looking properly girlish was essential.) Ino parted with her friends outside campus, who grinned and said, "Meet us outside the grocer's at eleven tonight. Feel like going swimming?"

All the girls laughed. They knew what that meant.

So that night after her parents had gone to bed - after a mid afternoon phone crisis in which two of her friends were pitting themselves against each other in the ultimate drama - Ino put on a bikini bathing suit underneath her clothes and snuck out the window, leaping, silent and cat-like, to the ground. She met her friends outside the grocer's and they went to the biggest hotel, picking the fence lock, jumping the wall, and sneaking into the pool area, where they took off their clothes and jumped in, laughing and splashing, giggling.

But someone must have seen them, because soon enough they heard the alarm go off on the lowest floor of the hotel, and one girl screamed, "RUN FOR IT!"

And, shrieking with laughter, still in their swimwear and soaking wet, they sprinted out of the hotel and down the street. Half drunk guys wolf whistled as they passed, they could feel the police right on their tails, they ran as fast as they could, ducking through back alleys - but the police were trained ninja, and at last they had them surrounded.

Which was how Ino ended up in a bathing suit, a policeman's hand around her arm, on her parents' front doorstep at one in the morning. Her bleary-eyed parents stared disbelievingly as the policeman read off from a sheet of paper:

"Yamanaka Ino. Found at two rowdy parties that had to be broken up. Several counts of minor shoplifting. And - oh, look, you've broken into the hotel before." The policeman looked up flatly at her parents. "You're both respected ninja. But Yamanaka-san, if this keeps up, we may be forced to send your daughter to juvenile detention."

Panic filled Ino, choking her. _Juvenile detention?!_

"Come on, it's all just fun and games!" she protested.

"Maybe to you, Yamanaka Ino. But we are forced to take these things seriously," said the policeman, still hard to read. Ino scowled.

She was brought back into the house by her parents, the front door was closed - and it began.

"What is the matter with you?!" Her mother, stiff and uptight and proud, was always the one to yell at her. "Did you hear what he said?! _Juvenile detention?!_ If you couldn't only become a ninja in Konoha village, I'd have sent you away by now! I am ashamed to have you as my daughter!"

"Nothing like the shame I feel having you as a mother, I can assure you," Ino grumbled, crossing her arms. Her mother had been just like Haruno, and Haruno would grow up to be just like her mother, she could tell - in a bathrobe and a hairnet, her face lined and her hair up in a bun, yelling at her child for going out and having a little fun.

Her mother's face reddened. _"What did you just say to me?!"_

"Ino," her father sighed, looking tired, "I just don't know what to do with you anymore." Ino turned to him in betrayal. She had always been Daddy's little girl - until recently, it seemed, her father had always been on her side.

"You guys just don't get it!" she cried, tears filling her eyes. "This is the only way I can get anyone to like me! I just - I don't -" She didn't want to be unimportant. Ignored. "Ugh!" And she stormed up the stairs to her bedroom, throwing herself down on the bed.

* * *

Haruno Sakura gathered her books together that morning for school and headed out the door.

"Sakura! Don't you want breakfast?" her mother called after her.

"No, thanks, Mom, I can't be late!" Sakura walked down the steps.

"Sakura, their policies against tardiness are way too harsh! Please think about what I said yesterday!" her mother called after her.

"Okay," Sakura muttered sullenly. In her head, she was ranting about her mother, but she would never be that honest outwardly about how she was feeling. Inner Sakura was angry a lot. Outer Sakura never did anything about it. Being properly feminine was important.

Sakura wasn't eating breakfast because, like many other kunoichi in her class, she was on a diet. She had to look good for Sasuke-kun, in the hopes that he would notice her. Her mother did not know this. Her mother also did not know that Sakura had no intentions of following her advice to drop out of ninja school - Sakura's mother was a single-parent civilian, and there were many things she didn't understand, including Sakura's desire to be important and make a difference as a powerful ninja.

She felt dread the entire walk to school. Sure enough, in the hallway, they came across her: Ino and her posse. They all had swished hair and perfume and short skirts, and Ino was the queen of swished hair and perfume and short skirts, with her platinum blonde hair, perfect porcelain skin, bright blue eyes, and gobs of makeup. She was popular and she was from a powerful ninja family - she was everything Sakura was not.

Unfortunately, she was also a raging bitch.

Sakura braced herself, only defending herself in mutters, as the popular girls laid into her. Inner Sakura wanted to punch their lights out. Outer Sakura did nothing of the kind. Then they tripped Sakura on her way to talk to Sasuke, hoping he would be kind to her. She smacked against the floor, books went everywhere, and she just lay here, tears filling her eyes, humiliated.

Sasuke-kun saw the whole thing, and the cold contempt on his face was clear. He continued on down the hall.

Then Sakura got a B on a test, when she'd wanted and expected an A, and between all the events she was upset for the rest of the day.

By the time she got home, she felt tired - she always felt tired, and not in the good way.

"How was school?" Mom asked from the living room.

"Fine," Sakura muttered, going upstairs to her room. _It was horrible! It's always horrible!_ Inner Sakura screamed. But Mom didn't know - Mom didn't know about the bullies, or about Sasuke, or about the obsession with As. Sakura rarely told her mother anything.

She spent the rest of the night bent over her books, studying furiously. Sometimes she spent so long stressing out over grades it gave her stomach cramps. See, Sakura was well aware of her myriad insufficiencies - her huge forehead, her skinny lack of curves, her nerdy obsession with books and grades, her lack of the kind of charm and wit and fearless sexuality Ino had. It was why she'd broken up her friendship with Ino - envy, plain and simple. But Sakura thought that maybe, if she was perfect enough, if she was smart enough, that could all go away.

And maybe she could be good enough for the popular kids, and for Sasuke-kun.

* * *

Hyuuga Hinata was not allowed to cry. This, she understood.

A tiny little pale figure with short dark hair and wide silvery eyes in boyish dark clothes, she knelt before her ninja clan head father, bowing. "Father, I am off to school."

"Do not be a burden to anyone this day, Hinata," her father intoned sternly. Her older cousin Neji sneered, as if to say, _Fat chance of that,_ and her little sister Hanabi joined him.

Hinata didn't think her mother would have looked at her that way, but her mother had died years ago.

Hinata knew what they meant. She was the eldest child of the clan head, and was originally supposed to have been clan heiress, but she was not proper by any Hyuuga standards. She was too shy and timid, cripplingly so, afraid of fighting, afraid of not fighting, afraid of hurting anyone, afraid of doing nothing.

Her performance anxiety meant that she never did well in Hyuuga clan spars. Her cousin and her sister called her weak; her father constantly told her how disappointed he was in her. That she got perfect grades in the Academy was not enough - there was always something she could do _better_.

Eventually, he had proposed a spar - Hanabi vs Hinata - to see who would be clan heiress. Hanabi, despite being years younger, had won. Hinata just hadn't been able to hit her, too afraid of hurting her. Hinata still remembered lying there on the mat, sore everywhere, mortified and humiliated, after the fight was over.

And even then, she had not cried. Hyuuga did not cry. It was a rule.

"Yes, Father," she whispered now.

She walked to school alone, sat in a corner at the back of the classroom, talked to no one, ate lunch alone. No one wanted to talk to Hinata. She was too reserved, too shy. She spent most of lunch picking at her food and watching the class clown and rebel from the bad side of town, messy blond-haired Uzumaki Naruto, throw spitballs and slingshot pebbles at passing people from up in a tree. He was loud, confident, kept trying even when he did badly - he was everything she wasn't.

She had a crush on him, but was far too shy to talk to him. He didn't even know she existed.

She walked home from school, performed poorly at the clan spars as usual, had dinner in dejected silence, and then retreated to her room where she contemplated suicide. She was sure no one would miss her, if she died. That the world would be far better off without her. She had no friends, her father would still have his perfect heiress, and her cousin Neji would insist that it had been fated the weakling of the clan would end up this way all along.

Not even Naruto-kun would miss her.

* * *

Mitarashi Anko seemed like she had it all.

This was what she told herself early that morning, as the latest in a long string of guys left her apartment yelling that she was a bitch, as she threw a frying pan after his stupid fat head and then collapsed with a sigh at her kitchen table, pushing a pile of shit out of the way and pouring herself a drink.

Mitarashi Anko was an attractive, curvaceous woman who had purple hair tied up behind her head in a hair clip, wore fishnet armor, short skirts, leg armor that made her shoes look like boots, and a trenchcoat. Mitarashi Anko was of one of the highest ranks there was in the ninja forces. Mitarashi Anko was tough, powerful, cool.

Mitarashi Anko's life was a gigantic fucking mess.

For the thousandth time, she cursed her former Sensei Orochimaru - a legendarily powerful ninja, who had been her teacher and mentor, then her lover, and had then betrayed the village and left her for dead. She cursed him for the wreck he had left in his wake: the drinking problem, the messy as shit apartment, the long stream of lovers, and the stupid goddamn seal that reminded her of him every time she undressed and looked in the mirror.

That complete fucking asshole. Her dearest wish was to plunge a kunai right through his stupid goddamn heart.

She finished her drink, and then she saw the bird arc past her window. "Fuck," she said distinctly.

The Hokage wanted her.

* * *

"Ready for duty, Hokage-sama." She saluted somewhat sarcastically, at attention, in front of his vast gold-gilded mahogany desk. The Hokage was a tiny old man in red and white robes, with wood pipe and goatee. Calligraphy scrolls hung around his office, most of which he had made himself, and a small side door in his office led to a mini library.

"Anko," he said, "I have a mission for you. It's an unusual one."

Anko raised an eyebrow, curious despite herself. "Go for it."

"I have a problem, Anko," said the Hokage, his hands steepled. "The kunoichi that the Konoha Ninja Academy churns out are becoming cannon fodder. Without a war to motivate them, taught by male teachers, surrounded by male peers, most of them either drop out or become obsessed with some boy or another - stalking, going on fad diets, and ignoring their training. I have suggested having women teach women and men teach men, but the council, against this, insisted I give this idea a test run first, on one team. A team of all women, training together at the Academy level, then coming together again at the Genin team level. So I agreed.

"You're my Jounin sensei."

Anko's eyes widened in disbelief. "You mean - you mean I can't even test them, I just have to take them on?!" She just failed all Genin teams she got - that was her default way of handling the situation. Be as cruel to them as possible, have them drop out as ninja.

She liked her way. It was safe.

"That is correct," said the Hokage. "The girls are Haruno Sakura, Yamanaka Ino, and Hyuuga Hinata. I would like you to spend a day observing them covertly before you take them on as private students, which is why I called you in so early."

"Hokage-sama… in case you hadn't noticed… I'm a blunt, tough-as-nails _bitch_ ," said Anko, pained. "And my private life is kind of a mess. You really want me teaching preteens?"

"Yes. I think, in this case, you are exactly what they need," said the Hokage evenly. "What's wrong? You _are_ a self-proclaimed feminist. Do you not like the idea of an all-women team?"

"Well, yeah, I like the idea, but… Are they all as fucked up as I am?"

The Hokage merely smiled.

 _Great._ Sometimes she had a feeling that old man was secretly evil.

* * *

Anko did spend a day hidden under a minor genjutsu, observing the three girls. The police officers didn't bother her, and she them. Everyone was afraid Anko would defect like Orochimaru had, which was why she didn't have many friends, but sometimes this fear and distrust worked in her favor - nobody fucked with her.

And Anko's conclusion was that these three girls were a complete fucking mess.

 _Geez,_ she thought, _we have a lot of work to do before I can even start teaching them the ninja arts._

Anko could also see what the Hokage meant. The system hadn't quite gotten to this youngest class of girls yet, but Anko could see stirrings in them - the way they glued themselves into little groups and giggled at passing boys, their either lack of self-confidence or lack of interest in the more physical skills the Academy was teaching.

Anko could see part of this Umino Iruka's problem - he was moving too fast. He was teaching these children the skills of being a ninja, but not the mentality behind them. It was briefly glossed-over in the ninja rules every child needed to memorize, but what good would learning rote be to a ninja out in the field? And he certainly had no ability to teach the girls about any of the aspects of being a female ninja. The girls might have had a female role model in their kunoichi arts teacher, but Anko sat in on one of her lessons and she was a civilian whose efforts seemed half-hearted at best - she would teach girls to pour tea gracefully and call it teaching tea ceremony, or would teach girls to pick flowers in colorful arrangements and call it ikebana.

Neither act was the point of tea ceremony _or_ ikebana. It was like finishing school without the finishing. And the idea that only girls could learn these arts was completely ridiculous - in other parts of the world, men could, and did, learn these supposedly feminine arts as well.

And there was nothing at all about Zen, which was at the heart of so many skills of both being a ninja and being a practitioner of - she practically gagged at the term - "female arts."

She hoped there was at _least_ something in the kunoichi arts curriculum about important issues like sexual seduction, rape, periods, and how to make up for the female body's weaker form, but she had a feeling her hope was in vain.

What were the council members who ran the Academy _thinking_? It was like girls didn't matter - and girls were at least a third of the ninja forces, one half in some classes! Anko, as a female Jounin, was highly indignant.

Yes, Anko definitely needed to take charge of at least a few girls in this class. And she knew just how she was going to do it.

First, they needed to fix some problems.

* * *

The next morning in Umino Iruka's first year Academy class, he had an announcement to make.

"Students," he said, smiling, "I have something very special to tell you. Three of our girls have been chosen to be taken out of the Academy and instead personally, privately tutored by a Jounin. The three girls are Haruno Sakura, Yamanaka Ino, and Hyuuga Hinata. Will you please stand?"

The girls stood, all of them stunned, for different reasons. Who on earth thought _they_ were exceptional enough for private tutoring?

Several boys were glaring at them enviously, including their respective crushes, which didn't help matters.

"Your Jounin sensei will be -"

Just then, a blur burst through the classroom window, shattering glass everywhere. A cloth sign erected itself in front of Iruka-sensei, and Anko stood proudly, arms crossed, in front of it. The sign said: AMAZING SENSEI MITARASHI ANKO IS HERE!

Anko always went by the "faking confidence" route when she felt unsure of herself.

"Team Kunoichi!" she cried, raising a fist. "Come with me!"

The girls weren't sure which was worse: that they would have to learn in close quarters with each other, or that their new Sensei was apparently certifiably _insane_.

* * *

Anko led them out of the Academy and stopped in the front courtyard.

"I'm Mitarashi Anko," she said, turning around, "and I'm your new Sensei. I already know who you three are, no need to introduce yourselves."

"Sensei!" Ino said immediately, heatedly. "Why do I have to learn alongside these losers?! Why can't I stay with my old friends in the Academy?!"

"No one wants you here, Yamanaka, so get lost." Sakura glared.

"Oh, that's rich, coming from you, Forehead Girl -"

"Please stop fighting -" Hinata murmured, squinting her eyes shut, hands over her ears.

Anko sighed, staring from the bickering Ino and Sakura, to Hinata who was doing a marvelous impression of a frightened turtle. _I'm not drunk enough for this,_ she thought.

"Hey! Y'all! Shut the fuck up!" she barked. All the girls turned to look at her uncertainly.

Anko gave a vicious, evil grin. If she couldn't fail these girls, she was going to make life damn hard for them. They were about to be in for a rude awakening.

"We have _work_ to do," she said quietly.

The girls swallowed nervously **.**


	2. Chapter 2

2.

They met at a training area every day, one with a space of flat green grass surrounded on three sides by a forest. The first day, Anko took a poll:

"Raise your hand if you're on a diet," she said.

All three girls raised their hands, rather proudly. They were sure a fellow kunoichi, one not parental, would understand and applaud their efforts.

"Yeah," said Anko, "cut that shit out."

The girls' hands drooped as horror filled their faces.

"But Sensei, we have to look good for guys!" Ino cried out. Sakura and Hinata were less vocal, but it was clear they agreed with her.

"Okay," said Anko, who had expected this, "let me put it to you this way. Start running laps. I'll tell you when to stop."

Running laps was something they had done in the Academy, so the girls all stood up and started running.

What they were not expecting was for Anko to start running right beside them, yelling, "Run faster! _Run faster, you pathetic piece of shit!_ " She ran right beside them, constantly yelling out calls and insults the entire time.

And they just kept running. And running. And running. In the hot sun. Sweat pouring down their bodies and faces. Their heads spinning.

At last, Sakura stopped, panting, with her hands on her knees.

"Are you stupid?! _I told you to keep running!_ " Anko yelled right in her ear.

"I'm tired!" Sakura shot out heatedly. Inner Sakura was furious: _Damnit! Is this crazy teacher trying to kill us?!_

"You're tired?! My Grandma runs better than you! I don't give a fuck if you're tired, I want you to _keep on running_!"

And so Sakura had to return to her runs, wailing out protests. Her cries went unheard.

Hinata, pushing herself hardest in an effort to please, was the first to pass out. Ino went to hurry over to her, and Anko shouted, "Keep running, Yamanaka!"

"But Sensei, Hinata is -!"

"What?! You're going to run over to a _loser_?" Anko sneered, throwing the words back in Ino's face.

Ino got defensive, but she stayed to her original point. "Sensei, _Hinata could be sick_!"

"Let me worry about that. I told you to KEEP RUNNING!"

Ino stood there, warring with herself for a moment. Sakura had paused and was staring between the two with wide eyes. _"Fine!"_ Ino spat out at last, and she went back to her running.

Ino was actually the last to pass out. Sakura did not long after Hinata, and then Ino was running alone.

"Congratulations, Yamanaka, you're the least pathetic of the bunch, though that ain't sayin' much!" Anko called, running along beside her. She had barely broken a sweat.

Ino spat out the words as she ran, dripping sweat. "They're not - pathetic - you're just - crazy!" Of the three, Ino was the only one with the guts to say this to a teacher as scary as Anko. After all, she had faced down screaming mothers and police officers.

"What was that?!" Anko yelled in her ear.

"I SAID YOU'RE CRAZY!" Ino shrieked. And then she blacked out.

* * *

The girls woke up to splashes of cold water being thrown on their faces, both nauseous and hungry, their heads pounding. Anko set a huge, home-cooked _bento_ and a water bottle down in front of each of them, and said, "Eat and drink up."

The girls rushed forward, chugging water, cramming food into their mouths.

"Slow down," said Anko quietly, "or you'll make yourselves throw up."

Reluctantly, they slowed down. Once they had all recovered and were sitting there, weary, Anko said, now completely human again, "That's just one of the activities I'll have you doing pretty much every day. I don't give a fuck what sorts of personal reasons you have for being on a diet at thirteen. You don't diet on my watch.

"Hate me if you want. But if you keep dieting while I'm your Sensei, you're just going to keep passing out and feeling like this."

"We'll get fat! We have years of this ahead of us!" Ino protested.

"I'm going to let you guys in on a little secret," said Anko, her eyes widening sarcastically. "If you eat correctly and work out enough, _it shouldn't matter how much you eat_.

"More on eating correctly tomorrow. Break."

* * *

"That teacher is freaking crazy!" said Ino incredulously as they left the training ground, walking back to their respective homes. "I'm so tired I won't even be able to go out with my friends later!"

Sakura and Hinata knew what she meant - tonight Sakura would have no time to be perfectionistic about anything, and Hinata would not have much time to consider anything remotely like failure or depression either.

"I can't believe how awful I did," Sakura muttered, and Hinata nodded in agreement.

"You didn't do all that much worse than me, and I'm certainly not at fault!" said Ino heatedly. "It's that stupid crazy teacher!"

Hinata perked up. "I guess we all did badly," she said hopefully. Maybe it wasn't just her after all. "Perhaps we should follow Anko-sensei's advice and stop dieting."

"Oh, I'm sure as hell not feeling that way again," said Ino in agreement. "I'm just mad as hell about it."

"She said she'd teach us about how to eat while exercising so we don't get fat, though," Sakura pointed out thoughtfully. "I think we should all take notebooks tomorrow and take notes."

"You _would_ , Forehead Girl."

But Ino did not have her posse behind her, and Hinata agreed with Sakura. "I-I'm taking my notebook, too," she decided tentatively. Sakura offered her a smile and Hinata gave a shy smile back.

Ino scoffed. "I can't believe I'm on a team with such losers," she muttered.

And it looked like these would be the only people she had time for. If Anko-sensei's first day of training was any indication, she wasn't going to have the time or energy for any of her old friends anymore. All that time spent building up popularity - gone to waste.

The saving grace was that Ino was too tired to consider this much. She took a shower, put on her PJs, collapsed down onto her bed, and fell asleep.

Her parents woke up the next morning and realized: "We weren't troubled by any ruckus caused by our daughter last night, were we?" said her mother wonderingly.

Her father chuckled into his coffee. "I used to work with Mitarashi Anko in ANBU Black Ops," he muttered. "I'm not surprised."

* * *

Next day, Anko-sensei gave them the low-down on eating healthily both before and after exercise. "I will be putting you through intense physical training seven days a week, so this is important information," she said. (The girls bit back despairing moans. They were a little afraid of what Anko-sensei's reaction might be to such a show of weakness.)

And, on Sakura's recommendation, even Ino reluctantly took notes:

"You should eat three kinds of things in the mornings before exercising.

"First, what are called 'quality' carbohydrates. These include breads, cereals, pasta, rice, fruits, and vegetables.

"Second, lean proteins. Proteins include meat, poultry, seafood, dry beans and peas, eggs, nuts, and seeds. When possible, always try leaner choices. Boneless, skinless chicken breasts and turkey cutlets. Leaner cuts of ground beef, turkey breast, or chicken breast. Lean turkey, roast beef, and ham. Never fry food. No high-fat sauces. Seafood is good, especially salmon, trout, and herring, which include heart-healthy omega 3 fatty acids. Bean and pea dishes, such as chilis, stews, casseroles. Cooked eggs. Peanut butter with whole wheat bread. Rice and beans. Unsalted nuts, in salads or yogurts or otherwise. All good choices.

"Third, heart-healthy fats. These include polyunsaturated fats - such as the kind found in nuts, seeds, vegetable oils such as corn and safflower oil, and fatty fish. Unsaturated fats - such as the kind found in olive and vegetable oils, seafood, and unsalted nuts. Monounsaturated fats - such as the kind found in olive oil, peanut oil, nuts, seeds, and avocado. Hummus, guacamole, vegetables - all good. Omega 3 fatty acids - such as the kind found in fatty fish, like albacore tuna, salmon, mackerel, and sardines. Also soy, walnuts, and some vegetable oils are good sources.

"You'll notice some of these things overlap. That's because some shit is just good for you. Aren't you amazed by my very scientific reason.

"You also need to drink fluids. Lots and lots of fluids. By the time the day is over, you should have peed, like, a gallon of piss. Seriously.

"Basically, focus on a few things: Low fat. Moderate in carbs and proteins. Low in fiber. Lots of fluids. Made up of familiar foods you can tolerate well. Most importantly, stay away from fried and greasy foods and soft drinks."

Anko smirked as the girls looked surprise. "You guys were expecting me to tell you to eat lots of burgers and pizza, weren't you? Well, surprise, assholes. Just because you're eating a lot, doesn't mean you have to eat unhealthily. Just remember to eat a lot of it. You should get to the point where if you like the food, you can comfortably eat two to three platefuls.

"Also, on the note of fluids, water is good, but so are sports drinks like Gatorade. I would use a combination of both when you exercise.

"After exercising, remember to eat protein. Eggs. Milk. Whey protein shakes. You don't need to consume very much, but consuming protein after you exercise helps your muscles recover and grow. And when your muscles grow, exercising won't hurt as much the next time. Get it?

"Oh, and I can't believe I have to say this. Eat three meals a day. At least two of them big ones. I will give you a lunch break during PT. You can use that to scarf down a bagel or a piece of fruit, but make sure to eat a big breakfast and a big dinner. If you don't, you'll just keep passing out.

"Okay. Break. Let's get exercising."

* * *

And then they started doing PT seven times a week. Rain or shine. Mud or grass. When it got cold and snowy? They moved indoors and worked out at the gym instead.

They always started with calisthenics. Then they did pushups, situps, and pullups in endless, endless numbers. Or sometimes they were made to climb hills and stairs at high running speeds - going up, and back down, and up, and back down, in endless, endless rows.

Anko-sensei of course put them through more runs. She made them take laps around the local pool, do rock climbing.

There were two particularly hard exercises.

The first was weight-lifting.

"I'm - going to look like - a boy!" Ino puffed out one day while lifting weights.

"I can't hear your weight lifting, Yamanaka! There's this annoying whining sound in my ear!" Anko barked, stalking over to her.

The second was crawling. That's right, crawling. Anko-sensei took them out to a training area made up of explosive tag rigged ninja wire, and made them crawl on their hands and knees in the mud underneath the ninja wire without setting off any of the explosive tags. Of course, if one of them did brush a tag, they might all die.

"I can't do this," Hinata said pitifully as they were crawling through the mud.

"Why did Hokage-sama do this to us?" Sakura pleaded to the hot blue skies.

"SHUT UP AND KEEP CRAWLING!" shouted Anko from the other side of the training field.

Pretty soon, it was a gritty routine they'd become accustomed to. Eat a lot. Tie your hair back in a bun or ponytail. Go outside, get dirty and muscular, sweat like a pig. Go home, eat a lot more, take a shower, fall asleep. Get up and do the same thing all over again.

Ino was afraid to even face her friends at school. Perfume and sweat did not mix, and neither did perfume and makeup - she looked terrible. Boyish. All three girls hated their Sensei. And their bickering with each other was constant. Especially the bickering between Ino and Sakura.

One day, silently to herself, Anko decided to do something about the last problem. All the arguing was giving her a headache.

* * *

She took her team to a different training area this time. They didn't turn at the explosive tag rigged ninja wire, or the hill, or the stairs, or the pool, or even their usual forested field. Instead, they were led up to a huge forest. It was surrounded by chain-link fencing littered with "Keep Out" and "Danger" signs. They could hear animal cries from far beyond in the dark forest.

"I asked you all to bring packs full of rations and water and camping materials today," said Anko. Sure enough, they each had a pack on their back. "That's because I haven't put you through survival training yet, so it would be unfair of me to do otherwise. But I take it you've all been camping before."

They all nodded.

Anko beamed and pointed behind herself at the forest. "You're going to camp for one night in there! Training Area 44, The Forest of Death!" She said it so cheerfully.

"Sensei, what if we die?" Sakura asked, horrified.

"I'll tell your mother you died for a good cause, Sakura. I'll make something up. I'll say you saved puppies or something."

Hinata looked like she was about to piss herself.

"Okay, have fun!" Anko jumped back and waved toward the forest.

None of them moved.

"What if we just… don't do it?" Ino whispered. "What if we all just… refuse?" She sounded deranged and hopeful.

Anko thought they needed a little incentive, so she took out a scroll, bit her thumb, swiped some blood across the scroll and cried, "Summoning Technique!"

And a gigantic goddamn snake appeared right behind the three girls. It opened its mouth and hissed at them. The girls screamed and ran as fast as they could into the open fencing leading into the forest.

Anko smirked and patted the snake. "Thanks, Manda," she said smugly.

Now to follow the girls covertly using stealth and watch what happened. (Unbeknownst to the girls, the explosive tags in the other field hadn't been activated either.)

* * *

"What do we do?!"

"How should I know?!"

"Well, since you're _so_ talented, Ino -"

"And what about you, Forehead Girl? You're supposed to be _so_ smart -"

And finally, after all the weeks of constant bickering, Hinata snapped. She did not plead with them. She did not murmur, "Please stop fighting." She did not hide or put her hands over her ears. She did not pretend to ignore them.

Instead what she said was this:

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!"

Sakura and Ino turned to her, stunned.

Hinata was furious. She was mad. "All you two do is bicker! Over who's more popular, who's going to get the guy, who's smarter, who's more talented, who's prettier! It's obvious you secretly care about each other, so _could you just shut up?_ We're in the middle of a forest full of dangerous creatures with nothing but a set of rations, a tent, and a few sleeping bags, and it will be nighttime soon! Our deranged Sensei could have sent that hungry snake after us and all we are doing is standing on a tree branch a few minutes inside a place called The Forest of Death, ARGUING!"

There was a moment of stunned silence. Then Hinata sagged and put her hand over her mouth, going red-faced. "Oh, God, I am so _sorry_."

"No, don't worry about it, do -" Ino turned to Sakura. "Do you really care about me?"

"... Well, yeah," Sakura muttered, looking away. "I mean, we used to be, like, best friends. I didn't think you still cared about me."

"I'm not the one who broke up the friendship."

Sakura winced. "I just… I envied you. You know? I didn't think we could -"

"And I fed that envy," Ino realized.

There was a moment of silence.

"I want to be friends with both of you," said Hinata at last, tiredly. "So could you _please stop fighting_?"

"Yes." Sakura and Ino turned back, their eyes determined. "Let's work together and survive this night in the forest."

"I have a compass," Hinata offered, holding it up. "And I think I hear a river somewhere nearby."

"I'll set up the tents near the river," said Ino.

"I'll start the fire," said Sakura.

"And I'll cook the rations," said Hinata.

* * *

They were sitting around the campfire after dinner, tired and quiet, about to head back to their sleeping bags.

"... I was really surprised when I got this assignment," Sakura admitted at last. "I mean, yeah, I'm super perfectionistic and I'm really smart, but I've got nothing else going for me. I don't even have ninja parents."

" _You_ were surprised?" Ino snorted wryly. "I got drunk every weekend and was on my way to either teenage parenthood or a juvenile detention center."

They both turned to Hinata. "... You've both got nothing on me," she admitted. "I was supposed to be the heiress of my clan, but I'm so weak and timid I was passed up in favor of my little sister. I'm a huge disappointment to my father; he tells me so all the time."

"... That's a shitty thing to tell your daughter," said Ino.

"Well, he's just -"

"No, she's right," said Sakura. "That's terrible. And I'd tell you if it wasn't."

There was a pause.

"I guess none of us expected we were about to become anything great," Hinata pointed out.

"Yeah." Ino snorted. "We're the dream-team, alright. The biggest fuckups in the Academy. _That's_ why Anko-sensei's so hard on us."

There was a moment of silent depression. Then: "But I guess we have each other," said Sakura. "Right?"

Hinata looked up.

"It sounds cheesy…" said Ino. "But yeah. We do."

Just then, they heard a growling sound in the darkness beyond their circle of firelight. They all looked up. Hinata made a hand seal and her eyes bulged with power. "Byakugan!"

"Whoa. What the hell is that?" said Ino, staring at Hinata's eyes. The veins had bulged and the eyes had gained intense-looking pupils.

"It's my clan's bloodline ability," said Hinata. "The Byakugan. We can see through anything!" She squinted, looking closer. "It's a tiger," she said, tensing.

"Alright, where is it?" said Ino determinedly, even as Sakura froze.

Hinata pointed. "There."

Ino made a hand seal. "I'm about to take over its mind. Hinata, watch my body; Sakura, tie the tiger up. Mind Body Switch Technique!" Ino's body collapsed over; Hinata caught it… and then the tiger pranced serenely into the circle of firelight.

"This must be Ino's clan's ability," Sakura whispered. She tied up the tiger with ninja wire, and then the tiger slumped over and Ino's body woke up again.

The tiger immediately started snarling, thrashing - Sakura knew she had to make this quick, before the tiger cut through the ninja wire - she wrapped an explosive tag around a kunai knife, prepped the tag, and threw the kunai -

There was a whimper and then the tiger exploded in a wash of blood and guts that splashed all over them. Hinata leaned over and threw up.

"... Well," said Ino grimly, "I really hope Anko-sensei doesn't have anything worse planned for us than that."

* * *

To their surprise, she didn't.

She leaped down brightly into their clearing the next morning to find them beat up, covered in dirt and blood and guts, tired, rough-handed, and glaring flatly at her.

"Congratulations!" she said cheerfully. "You all survived!"

They continued glaring.

"Now on to the harder stuff!"

They blanched.

Anko laughed. "Just kidding," she said. "I'll lead you out of the forest. Take the rest of the day off, alright?"

She wasn't winning any brownie points with her students, but her methods were working. Their cheeks were already more flushed, their bodies already changing and becoming more lithely muscular, they were getting much less whiny - and as she watched them walk off, laughing and smiling and teasing each other playfully, she knew she'd done the right thing.

These girls might just survive her methods, after all.


	3. Chapter 3

3.

In addition to training them physically and getting them to work together, Anko decided to train the girls mentally. The following exercises were sprinkled out over a series of months:

"Ino. You have some very special training to do. You are to send a gift to your old Academy friends. The following day, you are then to go and visit your old Academy friends -" Ino brightened. "But hidden. They can't know you're there. You're not allowed to say anything to them. You just get to watch and listen."

"But Sensei -!"

"And we're coming with you," Anko added firmly.

Ino slumped, frowning. "This is so unfair," she muttered.

But she did what her Sensei asked. She sent her old Academy friends a gift of some expensive perfumes, and then the following day, she and her teammates followed her friends to a cafe. The girls took a table in the cafe, Team Kunoichi crouched on the roof above them, listening.

A lot of it was boring: Gossip, small talk. Ino was just getting bored, shifting on the roof, hot, when her name came up. She perked up.

"Did you see that present that Yamanaka bitch sent us?"

Titters. Ino froze.

"Yeah, she probably wants back into our group."

"As if."

"She didn't even make the _Academy_."

"You know, I never liked her."

"Neither did I."

"She was kind of a loser."

Ino felt as if the bottom had dropped out of her stomach. She crouched there, numb, as all her teammates looked at her sympathetically - except Anko. Anko's expression was veiled.

The minute they got back to their usual training field, Ino exploded at her Sensei.

"You made them say those things!" She flung the accusation into Anko's calm face.

"No, Ino," she said evenly. "I didn't."

"You - you _have_ to have -" Tears welled up in Ino's eyes. "All that time trying to make friends and get people to like me - all those laws broken - they _can't_ have secretly hated me all along. It _can't_ all have been for nothing…"

Sakura put a sympathetic hand on Ino's shoulder, and Hinata even gave Ino a brief hug. Ino sniffled, rubbing at her eyes, now mascara-free.

"I feel so stupid," she muttered.

"I was trying to get you to see, Ino, that everyone 'liking' you isn't always what's important," said Anko. "You now have friends among your teammates, and they genuinely like you even when you don't do stupid things. They may be less popular and less in number, but isn't that a lot better?"

Ino thought about this. It made her think of Shikamaru and Chouji - childhood friends of her family. Best friends with each other. She'd always been so mean to them, calling them uncool and lame and calling Chouji fat. But really, they were loyal to each other till the end, so didn't they have something better than what she had? And where she'd made fun of Chouji's appearance, maybe she _should_ have gotten him to eat healthier. That would have been more productive.

"I always kind of thought of myself as their leader," she realized, "the leader of all my 'cool' friends. But I was never that way, was I?"

"There's more to life than being popular," was all Anko said. And Sakura and Hinata took this to heart, too.

* * *

Next, Anko targeted Hinata's timidity and lack of aggression.

"Hinata," she said one day, "your family is teaching you their Jyuuken style of taijutsu, right? Spar with me."

Hinata froze, put on the spot. "Sensei - I don't really want to -" she said shyly.

"It's not a request, Hinata. That's an order." Anko pointed to the space on the field in front of her. Hinata stood there timidly before her - and Anko immediately held nothing back. She went all out on Hinata, shoving into her feeble guard, pushing her and pushing her, until she finally punched her to the ground.

Sakura and Ino gasped.

"See, I can't figure this out," said Anko matter of factly, hand on her hip, standing over Hinata. "I _would_ think you're afraid of your superiors, but you also lose in fights against people younger than you. I _would_ say you're afraid of hurting people weaker than you, but you hold back against stronger people as well. It's a little of both, isn't it?"

Hinata curled there timidly, her cheek red.

"Look, Hinata," said Anko, blunt. "Either the person is trying to kill you, in which case you should be worried more about surviving than about how strong you are - or the person is your comrade. And in that case, you're trying to save their life. Don't get what I mean? Let me explain.

"Say you always hold back against your little sister. Say your little sister goes out on her first mission. Say the enemy doesn't hold back against your sister, and she dies. Then guess what? In an indirect way, it's partly your fault. Because you never challenged your sister, she died."

Hinata's eyes had widened.

"Never hold back against your comrades," said Anko fiercely. "And as for people stronger than you… They should be something to aspire to. They should be your goal. Survive against the people trying to kill you. Aspire to the rest."

Like Naruto-kun, thought Hinata. It was like having a whole host of Naruto-kuns.

"Okay," said Anko. "Now get up. Always get back up. And fight again, thinking I'm your goal and you're trying to save my life. Treat me like a real comrade. Fight me." Anko lifted her chin.

Slowly, Hinata got back up… And she looked up. Her eyes were hard and determined, in a way Anko had never seen them before. And Hinata came at Anko like she was fighting Naruto-kun - hard, fast, determined, and wild.

She still had a long way to go, but she fared a lot better.

Anko stopped her, smiling. "Very good, Hinata."

Hinata blushed and smiled.

Later, in the clan spars at the Hyuuga compound, Hinata did not defeat her older cousin Neji… But she did defeat Hanabi, surprising Hanabi, her father, and pretty much everybody else in the room. Hinata turned to a surprised Neji, her eyes determined.

 _You're next,_ she thought.

* * *

Next, Anko had Hinata and Sakura fight each other.

"Whoever wins is the better ninja," she said. And she knew what she was doing as she said it. Sakura and Hinata's eyes both turned hard.

The fight was all-out. Hinata used upper-level Jyuuken - albeit without the chakra bursts - on someone who'd had no previous taijutsu experience. And Sakura finally threw Hinata to the ground and began clawing at her eyes. The fight quickly devolved from there into a kind of wrestling match-catfight-brawl.

"Stop!" Anko called out at last. Ino's eyebrows had risen. Sakura and Hinata both stopped, breathing hard, looking up.

"But Sensei - the fight's not finished yet -"

"Yes, it is," said Anko icily. "Let me lay it out for you: that was not official taijutsu sparring. By the end, it wasn't going to help anybody learn anything. It was just a catfight. You both are usually friends. Yet you kept clawing at each other. Why?"

Hinata and Sakura slowly rose to their feet, ashamed. Neither could look the other in the eye.

"... I was afraid of failing," said Sakura at last, quietly. Hinata nodded.

"You two share something very important in common," said Anko. "You both feel like you're not good enough." Sakura and Hinata flinched, looking down. "Ino, would you like to take this?" Because Ino looked fierce, ready to speak.

"Look," said Ino, her jaw tight, "when I was first teamed with you two, I thought it was going to be the worst thing in the world. That you were losers.

"... But I was wrong. You're just as strong and just as determined as I am, if not more so. And if I ever made you feel like you're not good enough… well, I'm sorry for that. But it's not true. Sakura's really smart, Hinata's really sweet, and you're both stronger than you give yourself credit for. Who you are… is enough. Definitely."

Ino stopped, her eyes fiery.

"How you are naturally is always good enough, at the risk of sounding like a cheesy TV special," said Anko. "Say you don't have good day out in the field. You're still worth something. No matter what anyone else says. You don't have to prove anything to anybody except yourselves. Never think badly about yourselves, unless you do something bad, like hurt somebody.

"So Sakura's a bit of a nerd, and Hinata's a little shy. Those aren't inherent things about a person; they can be worked on. But there are a lot of great inherent things about both of you. And you don't have to be perfect every step of the way to be worthwhile."

Anko just felt like _someone_ should say it.

* * *

"Sakura, you have a ninja training mission," said Anko. "You have to go to your former bullies, and tell them everything you've always really thought about them."

Ino looked up in ecstatic disbelief. "Ooh! Ooh! Can I hide and watch?"

"Of course, we all should," said Anko evenly. Someone should give those girls a talking to - and she thought Sakura deserved it more than Ino did.

"Someone should be there in case things go south," Hinata added grimly. "We'll definitely be there."

And that was how Sakura found herself standing in front of the group of popular girls one lunchtime at the Academy. "Ooh, Forehead Girl! You've gotten even manlier since the last time I saw you!" Giggles. "I like the whole new 'tomboyish slob' look. Is this the new you?" With sweet smiles.

And for the first time in her life, after months of torture under Anko-sensei, Outer Sakura let Inner Sakura… _out._

"You are the ugliest, bitchiest group of girls I have ever met," said Sakura matter of factly.

"Ooh…" Giggling. But Sakura wasn't finished.

"No, seriously. You're hideous. All that makeup makes you look like the bride of Frankenstein. Not all the makeup in the world could mask all the ugliness you hold inside you. You think you're cool? I think you're going to end up in jail, or sent away from home. And there in that jail cell, sitting there, you're finally going to have to face up to the fact that all you ever caused for other people was misery and harm. I bet? These friends you think you have don't even like you."

Scared but powered by their expressions of disbelief and a rush of adrenaline, Sakura finished triumphantly, "In other words, I fucking hate your guts and wish you were dead.

"But go ahead. Make fun of my forehead. Call me a nerd. It could be worse. I could be _you_."

The lead girl stood up, her face flushed and darkening. All the other girls had gone silent, stunned. _"You little bitch -"_

"Go ahead. Hit me. But just remember, I've been lifting weights for the last four months - and I'm going to hit back."

Sakura almost wanted the fight to happen. It didn't matter to her anymore if she won or not. She just wanted to punch dear, sweet Ami's little lights out.

But Ami scoffed and turned away. "Whatever," she muttered.

And Sakura walked away, triumphant.

"That was exhilarating!" she told her team brightly as they jumped back down to meet her.

"Remember that feeling," said Anko. "Trying to be weak and silent just makes you an easy target. Channel your anger constructively - not just wantonly, but _constructively_ , in a way that does what you really want it to do - and always say how you really feel."

Ami had spotted Sakura standing with Ino. "Ino?!" she asked disbelievingly. Ino thought it was probably her new appearance: zero makeup, perfume free, ponytailed, lithe, and muscled.

"Hey, Ami!" Ino beamed. "Guess what? I always secretly hated you, too! And _fuck you!_ "

Ami growled and sprinted toward them, and Sakura casually reached out a fist and caught her right in the stomach. Ami bent over Sakura's fist, letting out a huge breath, and her face smashed right into Ino's fist.

There were gasps from the group behind Ami. Ino looked up and grinned, bloody-fisted. "Anybody else want a try?"

Hinata, who had previously stayed silent not out of shyness but out of respect for Sakura and Ino's troubles, walked forward and made a hand seal. The veins around her eyes bulged, the pupils glaring coldly. "Or we could try sending _me_ at them," she said in a deadly voice, her face expressionless.

The girls shrieked and ran away.

Anko sighed, smiling in satisfaction, the screams of fear and pain music to her ears. "That's my team," she said.

(Later, considering Anko's advice about constructive honesty, Sakura guiltily sat down and, for the first time in a long time, she had an honest conversation with her mother.)

* * *

And then Anko sat the girls down one day, and gave them a long, hard talk about boys.

"First things first," she said, on the ground, the girls cross-legged in the grass around her, "the minute a guy doesn't respond to your advances? That's it."

Ino and Sakura immediately protested, thinking of Sasuke. "But - but -"

"But what if he's shy -?"

"There's a difference between shy and distant. He's a preteen boy. If he liked you back, he'd have said something by now. If he hasn't said something by now… he ain't interested. At worst you're stalking him, at best you're ignoring his wishes and making yourself easy for him."

Sakura stood heatedly. "Hey, wait a minute, now just hold on -!"

"I'm sorry, girl, I'm just tellin' it like it is. Have I been wrong so far?

"You're deluded. You don't get the guy. This ain't a fairy tale. If you've shown interest, and he doesn't seem interested… then that's the end of that. Best case scenario, he could marry you because you don't have a bloodline to interfere with his and you're the only person available. Is that how you want things to end? Look, do you even know this guy at all?"

"I… I know he's hot!" said Ino. "And rich! And cool! And… and quiet?" she finished lamely.

Anko gave them a flat glare. _"Exactly."_

Sakura and Ino deflated.

"What about you, Hinata? How much do you know about the guy that you like?"

"I know that he always works very hard even when he does badly," said Hinata calmly, prepared for the question. "I know that he is fun loving, funny, and kind."

"Okay. Now here comes question two… _How_ do you know this?"

"I know from classes!" said Hinata, frowning.

"No, you don't."

"What do you mean?" Hinata asked frigidly.

"How do you know he works hard when he's alone? Either, A) you've been stalking him… which leads me back to point one. Or, B) you don't actually know how hard he works when he's alone. You say he's fun loving. How do you know he enjoys the pranks he pulls, and does them out of a sense of fun? Couldn't he just be trying to get attention? And how do you know he's kind? How do you know he doesn't privately take advantage of people?

"It sounds to me like you're projecting everything about you and what you like onto him."

"He saved me from some bullies once!" Hinata protested.

"Oh, well, whoop-dee-fucking-doo," said Anko sarcastically. "That just proves everything! Did he ever take an interest in you after that? Or defend you from bullies again? Did he ever come up to you afterward and ask you if you were okay? How do you know he did it for you? How do you know he didn't just have a grudge against the bullies? How do you know he wasn't just projecting his own experiences onto you?"

"I - I just know, okay!" said Hinata, emotional.

"Look. I'm not saying Naruto is all of these things. But I am saying he might be some of them. You just don't know, because you don't know him.

"Don't throw your life away over someone who's never shown any interest, that you don't know."

"I have a deal to cut with you," said Sakura suddenly.

Anko paused. Lifted an eyebrow, intrigued. "And that is?"

"We each have to approach the guy we like - separately - and ask him what he thinks of us, and ask to get to know him better. And if he responds negatively, we'll give up."

Anko grinned. "Intriguing… I'm starting to like you girls.

"Alright. I agree."

* * *

Hinata went first, out of pure nerves. She walked up to Naruto on the Academy playground, on the swings. "N-Naruto-kun?" For the first time, she'd fallen back on to old habits, pushing her fingers together shyly. "Can I ask y -?"

Naruto looked around. "Who are you?" he asked, bewildered. Hinata opened her mouth and felt her heart freeze. "Oh! Oh, you're that weird, quiet girl who's no longer in my class. Hey, weird, quiet girl, what are you doing here?" He grinned. "Did your Sensei kick you out?"

Naruto did sometimes use his sense of humor against other people. He'd just never used it against Hinata before.

"U-umm. I was wondering. I-if - if you'd like to get to know me better?"

"What?! I can't hear you!" It was the most insensitive thing to say against someone who obviously was pained to talk, and Hinata gave up and ran away.

"Huh…" said Naruto, frowning after her. "She looked kind of upset. Weird."

Naruto had not intended anything malicious. But Hinata was sensitive, and that was how she took it.

It did not hurt Hinata as much as it would have hurt if, say, it had happened a few months ago and Naruto had been her only light. But Hinata had other lights now. She had her friends and teammates. She was stronger than she had been, and more confident. And really, in a way, everyone stronger than her was a Naruto now - was someone to aspire to.

Still, her childhood crush ending hurt a lot.

* * *

Sakura went next. She walked up to Sasuke as he was doing one of his evening walks around the edge of the village, and said, "H-hi, Sasuke-kun. Can I walk with you?"

Sasuke glared at her flatly, saying nothing.

Sakura faded a little. "I-I… I was just wondering… what you really thought of me."

"I think you're an obsessed fangirl. Any other questions?"

That one hurt a lot. But next she tried, "Um. Um. I'd like to prove you wrong. Maybe we could… get to know each other better?"

"I decline." He still hadn't lifted that flat, contemptuous voice.

"Oh… okay. S-sorry to bother you." Sakura turned away so he didn't see the tears in her eyes.

* * *

Ino tried last. She was fairly confident she could work this. She skipped up to him on his way home from school, grinned, and said, "Hey, Sasuke-kun!"

Sasuke paused. "... What?" he asked disbelievingly at last. "You're not going to try to assault me this time?"

Ino paused, her smile a little more forced, her eye twitching. "What's wrong, Sasuke-kun? I'm just trying to be friendly!"

"You stay away from me. You're… you're even weirder than some of the rest of them."

Sasuke backed up, and left.

Ino stood there for a moment, and then sighed, sagging sadly. "Well," she said. " _That_ didn't work."

* * *

The girls all met, dejected, at the end of the day.

"... If it's any consolation," Anko offered, "I have shitty taste in guys, too."

And she took them out to an ice cream shop and bought them treats.

"It's not the end of the world," she said. "Always make sure there's a part of you a man can never take away from you. **"**


	4. Chapter 4

4.

It all started when the girls were walking home together after training one day.

"You know," said Ino curiously, "Anko-sensei mentioned the other day that _she_ has shitty taste in guys, too."

"Yeah," said Sakura. "So?"

Hinata had looked up, puzzled.

"So… Sensei's fixed our lives… what if we find out about _Sensei's_ life, and work on _hers_?" said Ino, grinning.

Excited expressions grew over Sakura and Hinata's faces.

* * *

"Anko-sensei," said Ino the next day after training, "we think, collectively, that it would be very helpful to our training if we could see how you train at your home in your own private time." She was beaming, the other two girls standing politely with their hands crossed behind her.

Anko glared down at them suspiciously. "You want to see my place?"

"Yes!"

"... Okay, but it's a fucking mess," she sighed, leading them out of the training area lazily. "This way."

"Anko-sensei," Sakura said curiously, "what did you mean when you said you also have awful taste in guys? Did you help us out with our crushes because of your own personal experience?"

Anko froze for a moment, and Sakura wondered if she'd ruined it. She'd tried to plan the wording of her question so carefully… "Well, I don't have a great track record with guys," Anko admitted sheepishly at last. "Lots of one-night stands and short, volatile relationships that don't last. People say I'm crazy, for some reason."

"It sounds like you need to meet a guy who treats you better," said Hinata quietly, perceptive, her face calm but her eyes sympathetic.

"Right. And he'd have to be a fellow ninja and Jounin who understands your lifestyle and is strong enough not to be intimidated by you -"

"And he'd have to be eccentric enough to be okay with eccentricity!"

Anko snorted. "Yeah," she said, "and good luck finding _that_."

* * *

They made it to the apartment. And it was a mess. Shit was everywhere, haphazard, it smelled something fierce, and there were holes in the walls.

"What are these?" said Ino, pointing at the holes. Anko turned to look at her, and while her Sensei's back was turned Hinata turned on her Byakugan and made a quick scan of the cupboards in the apartment - the amount of alcohol this woman apparently consumed single handedly was incredible.

"Oh, I usually punch holes in the walls to take out my anger when a guy leaves or dumps me," said Anko casually, hands on her hips. "Sometimes I throw stuff at him, too. I've lost a lot of perfectly good kitchen utensils that way."

The girls sweat-dropped.

* * *

The girls all grouped up later and went over their findings - including Hinata's discovery of all the alcohol.

"So I think we can divide this into four sections," said Ino, all-business. They were no longer as afraid of Anko as they used to be - had grown accustomed to her in some sense - which was why they had the nerve and guts to plan this. "Let's list them down:

"First, alcohol issues.

"Second, anger management problems.

"Third, cleanliness issues.

"Fourth, guy problems."

"And what we need to find in a guy can be broken up into three sections," Hinata added. "We need to find:

"First, a nice guy who will treat her well.

"Second, a fellow ninja and Jounin who's not easily intimidated.

"Third, someone eccentric enough to be okay with eccentricity."

Sakura, their secretary, was nodding, copying all this down methodically onto three sheets of paper (one for each of them).

"Okay," said Ino determinedly. "Let's do this."

* * *

The next morning, Anko awoke suddenly to crashes and bangs in her apartment. She didn't think she'd had anyone over last night… She ran into the living room with a kunai knife in her hand - and found her three students, all in baggy old clothes and with rags around their heads, cleaning up her apartment for her.

"What the hell are you three doing?" she asked in bewilderment, relaxing.

"We're cleaning up your apartment so you'll know how good it feels having a nice apartment!" said Sakura brightly, plugging in an air freshener.

"And this way, after this, it'll be really easy for you to keep your apartment clean!" Ino added, sweeping. "All you have to do is clean up each mess as it comes up and do a little bit of cleaning each weekend."

"After this, we have something we'd like to talk to you about," said Hinata matter of factly, clearing away the kitchen table and scrubbing at the dirty dishes in the sink with gloves on.

"Um… okay," said Anko in utter bewilderment.

* * *

The girls sat their Sensei down after it was all over. Anko could admit to herself, they'd done a good job. It did feel nice, having a clean apartment for once.

Not that she was about to admit that to them.

"Sensei," said Hinata, bracing herself, "I threw out all your alcohol."

Sakura and Ino also waited for the fireworks.

Anko exploded, leaping up from the table. _"You did what?!"_

"Sensei," said Ino, "we think you should attend anger management classes and Alcoholics Anonymous meetings."

Anko stopped, glaring suspiciously. "Only well adjusted people do that," she said. "I take great pride in not being well adjusted."

The girls sweat-dropped.

"We think if you're teaching us about living a healthier life, you should try living a healthier life too," said Sakura firmly. "Otherwise, isn't it just hypocritical?"

"We're all hypocrites at heart," said Anko automatically, though privately she could see what they meant.

"Sensei," said Hinata, " _you punch holes through your own apartment walls. There were over five different bottles of alcohol in those cupboards."_

"Those could have been anyone's!"

"Sensei," Ino pointed out, "only you live here."

"... Damnit."

"If you don't be healthy yourself, we see no reason to be healthy ourselves," said Sakura firmly, arms crossed.

Anko paused, torn. "... Alright," she sighed, not wanting to undo all her hard work on Team Kunoichi, "I'll go. God, I'll never hear the end of _this_ from my fellow Jounin…"

* * *

So Anko went to the local hospital, alone, and said grimly to the nurse at the desk:

"My name is Mitarashi Anko and I need to register for anger management and Alcoholics Anonymous meetings."

Everyone in the waiting room, even random strangers, looked up disbelievingly. You could have heard a pin drop.

Anko blushed furiously. _I'm going to **kill** those three._

* * *

The girls weren't sure whether she actually got made fun of, or how the initial meetings went, but Anko seemed constantly angry and she started driving them a lot harder than usual over the next few days. And for Anko, that was saying something.

"I'm sore all over," Ino muttered as they walked up to the Academy one day. "Why do we have to be good people again?"

"Because it's the right thing to do," said Sakura firmly, unfazed.

"... And because Sensei's done a lot for us," Hinata added in a murmur.

That was why they were here. They weren't sure where to start looking for a strong and eccentric yet good-natured Jounin, so they decided to go to their former Academy teacher for advice.

They walked into his classroom during lunchtime and said, "Hi, Iruka-sensei."

Iruka, a kind young man with a ponytail of brown hair and a wide scar across his nose, looked up from his teacher's desk and smiled. "Former students!" he said. "I always enjoy it when they come back and visit me. How have you been? You seem… different."

"Anko-sensei's been really good for us," Sakura agreed, smiling.

"I'm glad to hear it. I'm sensing a 'but' here…"

"But we're trying to set our Sensei up on a date with a fellow Jounin," Ino admitted, wincing.

"Anko dating. How fearsome," Iruka mused. "Why do you need my help?"

They told him their qualifications for a potential guy. "Hmm…" Iruka seemed thoughtful. "Really the only two I can think of who fit that description are Hatake Kakashi and Maito Gai. And I think Gai might be a little eccentric even for Anko."

"What do you mean?" Hinata asked, frowning.

"He wears green spandex leotards, has a bowl cut and giant eyebrows, and is always shouting enthusiastically about 'The Power of the Springtime of Youth'," said Iruka, wincing.

"... Oh." The girls agreed - they could _not_ see Anko-sensei going for that. "What about Hatake Kakashi?"

"Well, he fits all your qualifications. He's a powerful Jounin. Some find him attractive. He's a good person, if rather quiet, with a dry sense of humor. He'd be attracted to how dedicated you as a team are to each other and to your Jounin sensei - I've been told he's very big on teamwork. And he's definitely eccentric - he's chronically late to everything, wears a cloth face mask over the lower part of his face, and he reads erotica. Openly. In public."

The girls looked at each other and shrugged. "Let's try it."

* * *

Next, they went to Ino's parents for advice. Sakura's mother was of course a civilian, and every time Hinata considered going to her family members for dating advice for her Sensei she shuddered a little bit in horror. But Ino's parents seemed safe.

"Hatake Kakashi?" Mr Yamanaka looked thoughtful. "Well, let's see… I've never heard of him being in a serious relationship. As far as I know, he's more of a 'one night stand' kind of guy. Not very good at emotional attachment. But you could try it.

"You can usually find him in the mornings at the Third Ninja War Memorial. He lost a lot of people in that war, which everyone suspects is part of why he's not great at emotional attachment. He likes to go and visit them. You could probably find him there."

* * *

Ino, Hinata, and Sakura were hidden behind a tree early the next morning, covertly watching Hatake Kakashi stand in front of the memorial stone in the middle of a quiet field.

"Wow, he's _hot_!" Ino whispered.

He was tall and lanky, lithely muscular, with a mess of silver hair and sharp features. It had to be him - there was the cloth face mask over the lower part of his face.

"Are you going to just hide there all morning or are you actually going to come out and talk to me?" he asked matter of factly at last, hands in his pockets, still gazing at the stone.

The girls froze - and then came sheepishly out from behind the tree.

"We have a proposition for you," said Ino at last. "We think that you should go out with our totally hot and super tough Sensei!"

Kakashi turned to look at them. "... You're Anko's kids," he said, bemused. "I can't imagine her putting you up to this, so you're here on your own."

"That's right," said Sakura quickly. "We just… think she needs to go out on a date with a nice guy, and everyone says you're a nice guy. And we think you need to go out with someone nice too! We think it would be good for both of you," she finished firmly, crossing her arms and nodding.

"A thirteen year old is telling me I need a more fulfilling love life," Kakashi realized to himself.

"You should take that as a sign," said Hinata, in her 'wise Hyuuga' voice.

Kakashi sighed. Sometimes the Naras' trademark "troublesome" really did apply. "Well… Anko's really hot and she's pretty reasonable when it comes to the 'no strings attached' thing - one of the only things she _is_ reasonable about, actually - so I'll ask her if you'd like. But don't expect anything to come of it," said Kakashi, hand behind his head.

The girls beamed and jumped in victory, cheering. _What have I gotten myself into?_ Kakashi thought.

* * *

"Hey, Anko. We should go out sometime."

Anko turned from the dango bar where she was getting an early breakfast. "My students put you up to this, didn't they?" she asked bluntly.

"Well… yes," said Kakashi, his eye curved in amusement.

Anko sighed. "They're trying to solve all my life problems. They're taking my own lessons and turning them against me. It's really not fair," she said, leaning against the bar.

"At least they seem to care," Kakashi pointed out. "That must mean you're doing something right."

Anko looked sideways over at Kakashi. He was still smiling… and he _was_ really hot…

"Oh, what the hell," she sighed. "Let's just go out to dinner."

* * *

Her team even came over to her apartment and helped her pick out the right outfit on the night of. Anko had factored in Kakashi's tardiness, so they actually started getting ready at the time Kakashi was supposed to show up.

"Red would clash with your hair and purple would be too... Purple," Sakura said knowledgeably, holding up different dresses, standing in front of Anko's closet. "But black would be good." She held up a dress.

"Ooh! I like the whole 'short little wrap dress' look!" said Ino enthusiastically from Anko's bed.

Hinata, meanwhile, had sat Anko down before her dresser mirror and was doing her hair up in some complex, sophisticated bun arrangement she'd learned from some older branch retainer women of the Hyuuga clan.

"I can't believe I let you guys talk me into this," Anko was saying. "What if it all goes horribly?"

"But what if it all goes _great_?" said Ino enthusiastically.

"My father always says there's a risk when you go out on a mission, too," said Hinata quietly. "This is just a different kind of risk. And you're nervous because it's a risk you're not used to. You're more used to the kind of risk where you pick up a guy at a bar. There's more at stake here. _That's_ why you're nervous."

"When did you three get to be so all-knowing?" said Anko suspiciously. Just then, the doorbell rang.

"I'll get it!" Ino called, and before Anko could stop her, she'd run to the door, sliding on her socks, thrown it open, and said brightly to Kakashi, "Come on in!" She waved a hand at the newly cleaned apartment.

A bemused Kakashi walked in holding flowers. He was wearing a nice black long-sleeved shirt and a dark pair of dress pants, and no mask. Ino had been right - _totally_ hot.

Anko came out sheepishly in the black little wrap dress, her hair done up in its bun and a dark shawl around her shoulders (to hide the seal). "Sorry about this," she said, and she actually blushed, like some stupid thirteen year old. "My students are kind of -"

"Have fun, kids, don't do anything we wouldn't do!" And Team Kunoichi shoved Kakashi and Anko out the door and into the hallway. Just before they shut the door, they saw a surprised Kakashi catch a falling Anko.

They looked at each other and nodded in self-satisfaction. _"Aww, yeah."_

* * *

Anko and Kakashi went to a nice, classy restaurant - candles on the tables, white tablecloths, the whole hundred yards.

"I'm trying to clean myself up," Anko admitted, "at my students' behest. They've decided to… help me. For a long time, it was a lot of alcohol, violence, one-night stands, dramatic trysts that never worked out well. My life was a mess. But these girls… well, I helped them, so I guess they feel duty-bound to help me."

"I was surprised to hear you'd taken a team," said Kakashi. " _I_ never have. It didn't sound like you."

"It surprised me too," Anko admitted. "It was kind of forced on me, but I've actually learned to like it. Those girls, they're… they're good kids." She smiled softly. Then she made a face. "Ugh, how cheesy did that sound?"

"It's okay to be cheesy occasionally," said Kakashi, his eye curving as he smiled.

Then she asked him about his erotica books. Far from feeling insulted by them, Anko loved kink and was even into it herself. Kakashi was pleased he'd let himself be talked into this - this was the best date ever!

He walked her home. He surprised her with a kiss just as she turned around outside her apartment door - and then, in a true ninja move, he disappeared.

"Showoff," said Anko, but she smiled, feeling warm.

* * *

Her team demanded all the details the next day. She gave them just enough to keep them satisfied, and then told them firmly to go run more laps.

She watched them start their run around the training field… and reflected.

She'd expected to be good for her team. She hadn't expected her team to be good for her.

* * *

Anko went to the Hokage's office the next day, calm, her eyes fierce.

"You've been asking me for weeks if I'll accept them as a possible Genin team… I accept. I'll take them on as Genin."

The Hokage smiled.

And now, thought Anko as she left, the _real_ training began.


	5. Chapter 5

_Author's Note_ : In learning about tea ceremony, I have to thank… well, first, I have to thank wikipedia, haha. But second, I have to thank one particular research book! "The Tea Ceremony" by Sen'o Tanaka is a great read. Some of these bits of information are direct quotes from his book. There are sections of the book that I didn't cover, so if you're interested in this at all, I highly recommend buying it! It is a great read! It is like Teh Awesome!

Also, this tea ceremony stuff is... pretty involved. The rest of the lessons won't be this... one sided, I guess could be a good way to put it. But for tea ceremony, there was just a lot of info and not really much to comment on. Read for the info and the ending of chapter six, then move on.

* * *

5.

Anko spoke, standing above the three girls who were sitting cross-legged in the training field below her.

"Okay, girls. There's a reason why I asked you all to bring notebooks and pens today. You're healthier physically and psychologically. You're more fit. You get along better as a team. And… well, _I_ feel better myself."

Anko rolled her eyes as the girls straightened, proud, preening themselves.

"Okay. Now is when the real training begins. What I'm going to teach you first are commonly referred to as the kunoichi arts. Don't get me wrong, we're still going to start with you exercising every day, so you continue getting stronger and faster and improving muscle mass," she said, when the girls looked surprised. "But for now, we're going to table fighting skills, and focus on the kunoichi arts. This is because a lot of the mentality that comes with the kunoichi arts is very important to instill proper fighting skills.

"As a matter of fact, I take umbrage with the fact that these arts are even considered purely feminine in the first place. I think that's a modern mind set being placed over an ancient set of skills. For centuries, men have also practiced these arts, and they're just as important for men - when properly taught - as they are for women.

"I see you looking confused," Anko added. "That is because these skills were not taught properly in the Academy. But let's start with what you _do_ know about them. Sakura?"

Sakura had raised her hand. "Kunoichi started out in existence as female spies in various households. In the modern day, we are taught the seductive arts so that we can be sent out on infiltration missions as teenage and adult ninja," she said. "Most of the powerful people in the world are still men. It's a kunoichi's job to take advantage of that - and assassinate or get information. The arts chosen for study are tea ceremony, flower arrangement, cooking, fashion and kimono wearing, calligraphy and poetry, and music and traditional dancing. Older kunoichi in training are also taught elements of sexual seduction." She blushed at this part.

"Exactly. I'm also going to teach you about Zen Buddhism, because it overlaps with a lot of these other arts," said Anko. "And when we get to sexual seduction, I'm going to give you a solid grounding in conversation, games, and flirtation. Then I'm going to give you training in drinking without getting drunk, in the fine art of the strip tease, and in massage because duh.

"And I'm going to teach you about other aspects of being a woman and kunoichi. What to do about periods. What to do about bouncy boobs when running or fighting. How to deal with being physically weaker than men. The psychological toll things like killing and sexual playacting can take. How to have sex healthily and safely. How to deal with rape in the field. That kind of thing.

"I'm going to teach you these things in place of teaching you about other cultures, because on a superficial level many cultures in the Elemental Nations are the same: same food, same language, same dances and standards of beauty. All admire tea ceremony and flower arrangement. Most have Hidden Villages full of ninja, all of those Hidden Villages have ninja leaders (though not all are Kage), and all nations are ruled by a Daimyo. If you are sent on an infiltration mission, you should of course do your research on the individual country you're infiltrating, but you can do that in your own private time. It just doesn't make any sense to me to teach you on an official level that Suna has a stronger spiritual culture than Konoha does - that Suna official is not going to ask you about the gods while he's fucking you. So I'm replacing learning about other cultures with learning about actually useful things related to being a kunoichi."

The girls actually looked excited, and at this Anko smiled. "The kunoichi arts are some of my favorite things to practice in my own time," she said, surprising them. "So I'm really looking forward to this part. Let's get started.

"We start with tea ceremony.

"Now, I'm going to give you a basic outline of what a ceremony looks like and how to perform one. Ceremonies differ but I'm going to give you the basics of a formal noon ceremony in a cool weather season - and then later I'll get you into more specific details on different aspects of tea ceremony, including on how various ceremonies differ, that are important but cannot always be readily observed from the outside. Second to last step, I'll have you participate in a few of _my_ tea ceremonies. Last step, you'll perform and host tea ceremonies yourselves - with my supervision, as some things, like cooking and flower arrangement, I have not taught you yet. This should all be covered over a period of several weeks.

"So, on to what a tea ceremony consists of. Write this down. A chakai is an informal tea gathering, while a chaji is a formal tea gathering. Tea gatherings are also classified by season and by time of day. Some of them are held in purpose built tea houses, some of them at various people's homes, some of them outside. What I am going to give you the outline for is a winter noontime chaji in a purpose built tea house.

"First, the guests should always arrive at least a little bit early. For a chaji, punctuality is especially important. On a side note, despite what my boyfriend may tell you, punctuality is important for a ninja too. The guests put their shoes in a basket by the door and enter an interior waiting room, where they take off things like coats and put on fresh tabi single-toed socks. While the guests in modern day can sometimes get away with wearing formal modern-day attire, the host of the tea ceremony should always be wearing formal kimono.

"The waiting room should have tatami floors and an alcove in which a scroll is hung. This scroll can allude to the season, the theme of the chaji, or some other theme. This scroll is always chosen and hung by the host. The scroll must not only be ancient and beautiful, it must also theme or season appropriate. This is where the first bit of creativity comes in on the host's part. The guests should always go first to examine the scroll, and the scroll must surprise them in a pleasant way. If it's winter, perhaps there could be a calligraphy piece or a painting depicting something about snow falling softly. (Usually there are two types of hanging scrolls: paintings and calligraphy pieces.) You see what I mean.

"Next, the guests should be served a hot cup of something, which should be ready for them in the waiting room at least twenty minutes before the start of the ceremony. It could be kombu, hot water, roasted barley tea, or sakurayu.

"When all the guests have arrived and finished their preparations, they go to an outdoor waiting bench in a roji - or simple, beautiful tea house garden - where they sit and wait until they are summoned by the host.

"The host arrives. There is a silent bow between host and guests. The key thing about a formal tea ceremony is that most of it is completely silent. The guests then proceed to a tsukubai, or stone basin, where they ritually purify themselves by washing their hands and rinsing their mouths with water. The guests then enter the tea house.

"The guests remove their footwear and enter the tea room through a small 'crawling-in' door, or nijiri-guchi, and then they view the tea room. They also view any tea items already on display - many of these tea items are ancient and highly valuable.

"The guests are then seated seiza-style on the tatami. The person seated first in the row is the chief guest, and should always be someone important and quite experienced with tea gatherings. When the last guest has taken their place, they close the door with an audible sound to alert the host - remember, it is completely silent, so the host will always hear this.

"The host enters the tea room. The host welcomes each guest. This is the only time during the formal ceremony when talking is allowed. And even here, it follows a highly precise format. Only the first guest should do the talking, as they know how to speak without sounding bizarre. The first guest's duty, then, is to ask in that highly prescribed format about the hanging scroll, or kakemono, and possibly the tea items.

"After this section, talking is no longer allowed.

"A charcoal fire is laid on the firing pit in the center of the room, during the winter months. This fire is used to heat the water. A pre-prepared several course kaiseki meal is served to the guests at this part, accompanied by sake wine. The courses should be small, served on small decorative plates, and when possible they should reflect the season or theme of the chaji. Then small sweets called wagashi - really, little cakes - are served to each guest. They eat the wagashi in a small paper called kaishi that each guest carries with them into the tea ceremony in a pocket. There are several different kinds of wagashi, or decorative cakes, and these, like other aspects of the ceremony, can say something artistic in their name, decoration - whatever you want to do.

"After the meal, there is a break called nakadachi. The guests sit outside on the waiting bench while the host uses the break to sweep the tea room, take down the scroll and replace it with a flower arrangement that should also allude to a season or theme, open the tea room's shutters, and make preparations for serving the green tea. This is the part that gives the ceremony its name.

"A bell or gong is rung by the host, and the guests purify themselves once more before re-entering the tea room. Once more, they examine the items placed in the tea room. The host is alerted once more, and comes back into the tea room, where they ritually cleanse each tea making utensil - chiefly the tea bowl, tea whisk, and tea scoop - in a precise order and using prescribed motions, in the presence of the guests. This is where grace comes in, and can only be achieved through experience. The tea utensils are then placed in an exact arrangement according to the particular temae - or procedure - being performed.

"The host then prepares the thick green tea, or koicha, using the tea utensils. Notice that the host mixes it all into a tea bowl. No pouring takes place in tea ceremony, except for the pouring of the hot water from the kettle into the bowl.

"Bows are exchanged between the host and the first guest as the host hands the first guest the bowl of koicha. The first guest bows to the second guest, and raises the bowl in a gesture of respect to the host. The guest rotates the bowl to avoid drinking from its 'face', or front. The guest takes a sip and compliments the host on the tea. After taking a few sips, the guest wipes the rim of the bowl clean and passes it to the second guest. The process is repeated until all guests have taken tea from the same bowl. Each guest then has the opportunity to admire the bowl before it is returned to its host.

"The host cleanses the equipment once more using prescribed, graceful motions, and leaves the tea room.

"The host returns to the tea room with a smoking set, more confections (usually higashi, a specific type of wagashi), and possibly cushions for the comfort of the guests. As we all know, seiza kneeling is pretty hard over a long period of time. The host rekindles the fire and adds more charcoal, and this signifies the beginning of the informal portion of the gathering.

"The host prepares the usucha, or thin green tea, and prepares an individual bowl of usucha to be served to each guest. There is a similar ritual exchange of bowl between host and guest, a similar turning, few sips, and compliment. But after that, the guests are allowed to finish their individual bowls of tea, and - at last! - talking is allowed.

"After all the guests have taken tea, the talking time ends, and the host cleanses the utensils in preparation for putting them away. The first guest will always request that the host allow the guests to examine some of the utensils. With extreme care, and sometimes using special brocaded cloth, the guests handle the ancient, treasured items, examining them for their simplicity and traditional beauty.

"The host collects the utensils. The guests leave the tea house. The host bows from the door, and the ceremony is over.

"As you can tell, this type of ceremony can take several hours - usually up to four. Especially if you are the host, and you have to prepare things, and then later put things away, you should not plan on doing anything else important that day.

"I know what you're all thinking. I can see it in your faces. 'How is this going to help me be a good ninja?'" Anko winked. "And that is what I will tell you _tomorrow_."

* * *

They gathered again the next day, and Anko-sensei continued.

"I'm going to start with a question. When you think of tea ceremony, what do you think of?" said Anko. "Let's go to each girl individually."

"I think of everyone having a good time drinking tea together," said Sakura.

"I think of beautiful items and surroundings," said Ino.

"I think of grace, elegance, and refinement," said Hinata.

"All part of tea ceremony. But none of that expresses what is at the _heart_ of tea ceremony, and why it would be important to a ninja," explained Anko. "Tea ceremony was first made popular by Zen Buddhists and Buddhist priests, and tea ceremony - or cha-no-yu - has something in common with Zen. It is all about obtaining a peaceful, humble frame of mind, far removed from worldly concerns. That is the point of tea ceremony for any true tea master or tea practitioner. The proper mindset is vital, or you will be putting the wrong energy into the tea room.

"So let's focus a little more on this, the 'proper tea mindset.' What is it? There are several elements.

"First, tea ceremony requires a very disciplined frame of mind, and practicing tea ceremony means practicing how disciplined your mind is. There's all that to get creative about - all the little artistic touches have to match up just right - and then there's all that to remember. And you have to do it all while seeming calm and serene. And of course, the tea preparation must be to perfection, and so must be the movements surrounding it.

"Next, there is purity of mind. As I said, one has to bring the right energy into the tea room. We cannot insult others or ourselves, or think ugly thoughts about others or ourselves. No ugly thoughts must pervade the tea room.

"Next, there is self-control. One must always maintain one's calm, even if things somehow go badly. One must effortlessly give the right idea to all guests, please all guests, and correct the mistakes of all guests - without seeming rude and without seeming to be correcting.

"Next, one must always be considerate of other people - their ideas, thoughts, experiences, and feelings. One must always approach each fellow in a compassionate way. This may not seem like it gels with ninja experiences, but think again. How are we ever going to defeat our opponent, or indeed understand our comrade, if we cannot think compassionately and put ourselves in their shoes?

"Next, people of lower and higher social status must always be given equal regard. As I said, a tea master greets each person individually. No arrogance or snobbery must be allowed in the tea room - we are never better or worse than others on an intellectual or emotional level, only equal - and no play-acting is permitted either. Affectation and pomposity are just as bad as arrogance. Thinking poorly of yourself and trying to hide it is just as bad as thinking too much of yourself and showing it.

"And last but not least, humility. Tea ceremony teaches beauty in the simple and even mundane - in other words, living a simple life is better, and mindfully living in the present and finding beauty in everyday life is vital. There is a term for this: wabi. And it is important to tea ceremony. Wabi means "apology," with an added sense of worry, though it contains the idea of simplicity as well. A person practicing wabi values simplicity and tries to cast away all worldly concerns when possible - though it is a hard practice to follow to the letter, and even very few tea masters can master it.

"So, to summarize: Punctuality. A disciplined mind. Purity of mind. Self control. Compassionate consideration of others. A lack of affectation or arrogance, a mind given toward equality. And simple humility.

"Put this on your bedroom wall. In your notebook. Whatever. But remember these tenets of life, because they don't just apply to tea ceremony."

Her students looked serious and thoughtful, and this was good. It meant they were digesting just _why_ the correct mindset was so important.

"As you can see," Anko continued after a pause to let them digest, "all these teachings tie in pretty closely with Zen Buddhism. We'll have a whole section on Zen Buddhism, but let me give you a brief overview of how the two overlap.

"As I said, Buddhist priests and Zen masters first popularized tea ceremony. Many of our great tea ceremony scrolls were made by Buddhist priests, and a lot of the preparations involved are a reflection of Zen thought. Some even think Zen Buddhism and tea ceremony are inseparable, and that one cannot practice one without practicing the other.

"On a more philosophical note, because of this connection, the simplicity and purity inherent in Zen Buddhism can also be found in tea ceremony. Tea houses are meant to bring the same harmony of mind as Zen temples. Sometimes, in ancient times, tea gatherings were even held in Zen temples, though this was not a universal practice. Many abbots considered tea ceremony a decadent pastime for the wealthy and forbade it from their temples - even though true tea masters usually prize simplicity and wabi. Still others enjoyed tea ceremony and collected many ancient and beautiful tea items.

"In general, what my own tea master - as a tea enthusiast, I learned in the Fire Country capital over a period of several months - said is that Zen and tea ceremony differ in one respect: Zen teaches you to achieve enlightenment on your own - through meditation, through detachment, etc. Tea ceremony teaches you to achieve enlightenment through others - people communicating with each other through the silent rituals of tea ceremony.

"Here are a few more notes on what might be called the 'aesthetics' of tea:

"First, tea ceremony, or cha-no-yu, is closely tied in with nature and the changing of the seasons. Nature must be observed when preparing for a tea ceremony, as we have already briefly discussed - nature is reflected in the flower arrangement, the hanging scroll, the food, and even the arrangement of the ceremony itself - and nature is also usually reflected in purpose built tea houses. The houses themselves - at least in our Fire Country, which is full of greenery and forests - are made from natural shaped wood, the gardens filled with natural shaped stones, covered in beds of moss, and the gardens are usually filled with tall trees. A rustic setting is usually best, when possible, for a tea ceremony. I always like to schedule my own ahead of time in a local purpose built tea house, or else do one outside; I find it provides the right atmosphere.

"In other places, obviously, there are different kinds of tea gardens, depending on the geography. But the emphasis on the natural is still there. For example, in Suna, which is a desert place - I keep mentioning them because they're our closest ally - a tea house usually is made of adobe, and its garden has desert trees, cacti, shrubbery, stone courtyards, and iron fencing. Harsh, but beautiful.

"Here is a brief rundown of what each of the different months means for the types of tea ceremony available:

"In January and February, the evenings are long and dark, and special evening gatherings can take place called yobanashi, which are distinguished by the use of very valuable tea articles. Special flowers are selected to match the mood of the yobanashi, like winter camellias, white plum blossoms, petunias, winter peonies and primroses. The meal eaten at the start will include lobster, sillago or sea bream, which are winter delicacies.

"A special spring gathering is held the day before the spring equinox, which is calculated according the lunar calendar, where the theme is a longing for spring. In this case, a dawn ceremony called akatsuki, which might take place at four in the morning before the sun rises, is held with pink plum blossoms and heath roses for floral decoration. For the meal, wild plants such as bracken, horsetails, butterbur flowers and some green vegetables are served. The emphasis is always on the coming of spring, and bowls with symbolic designs of lingering snow, thin icicles, field fires, sprouting plants and flowers, or nightingales are used to convey this feeling.

"In March and April the cold weather thaws and spring returns with the first flowers appearing after the bleak winter. Cherry blossoms decorate the tea rooms during the day, and tea devotees gather round the kettle set outside under the trees to admire the cherry blossoms at dusk.

"May and June are months of warmth, and tea gatherings called yuzari are held indoors in the evenings when the portable charcoal brazier (furo) replaces the "firing pit" (ro), a symbol that summer is near.

"In the months of July and August, the two hottest months of the year, tea ceremonies can be held at dawn before the sun becomes too hot for comfort. Occasionally people perform cha-no-yu outdoors, for instance in the mountains or at the riverside where it is cool and breezy.

"The portable brazier used for the summer months is stowed away in October, and the mood of lingering summer is evoked through the use of sober-colored tea articles and the arrangement of autumn flowers in the alcove. As the days get colder, and before the built-in hearth or fire pit is opened, the charcoal brazier is moved closer to the guests during the course of the ceremony. This custom, when the brazier is moved to the center of the tatami mat, is called naka-oki.

"In November, the fire pit which is built into the floor is opened and the tatami mats are replaced by new ones. It is also the custom during this time to open a new tea container and serve the guests with fresh tea. This once again changes the mood of the tea house, while in the garden, new, green bamboo fences replace the old ones and the rain pipes of the house are replaced by newly cut bamboo pipes. This renovation is done very solemnly and is regarded by tea masters as symbolic of the new year.

"There are tea gatherings held in December to share the sorrow of parting with the old year, and to aspire toward greater things to come in the new. These personal sentiments are reflected in the choice of tea articles according to the feelings of the host, and in general the last month of the year is usually a busy one for tea masters, amid the preparations for the change of the calendar.

"Obviously, the choice of tea utensils is very important to the mood. As I've said, simplicity is important, but so is appropriateness for the occasion - everything is supposed to match up just so, and leave the guests with a certain feeling. Take a bowl with paintings of lingering snow during a coming-of-spring akatsuki celebration, for example. Or sober-colored tea articles during the coming of autumn in October. Or a special tea article representing happy things in December, at the end of the old year and the beginning of the new - this would create a sense of optimism in the guests.

"Basically, there are three principles involved in the decoration of the tea room - flowers in vase, hanging scroll, and utensils - and they are based on time, place, and rank. Time being the season and time of day, that's easy. Place is harder - it means you also have to match your decorations according to the surroundings in which they are placed. And finally, rank refers to the experience and knowledge of the host - it means not aspiring to something greater than what you are. Let your higher level of skills come with time.

"There are still more things to consider in choosing utensils. For example, one should never use two of the same utensils in a tea ceremony. They must all come from different places, with different designs, and they should be a blend of different shapes. For example, if a tall tea caddy is used, one should use a flat water jar; if there is a square brazier, use a round kettle. There can also be a blend of antique and modern in your tea decorations.

"Other notes: The number of utensils placed on shelving in the main alcove must never be the same as those placed on shelving in the side alcove, and if the first are even in number, the second should be odd in number. And if you hang more than one scroll, you should divide the wall space into six sections using five lines. In the middle of each of the six sections, draw one line. The first five lines are considered yang, or positive; the other six lines drawn in later are yin, or negative. One must always try to find a balance between yin and yang. That is the point of these last rules.

"I have not given much attention to how the food should be decorated, but each course should be small and put into aesthetically pleasing little formats and designs as well. The courses should also be brought out one at a time, so the guests can admire their beauty. And of course, the food should be theme and season appropriate.

"Lastly, _get creative_. Within these guidelines, you still have more room to maneuver than you might think. Not copying others, and finding your own style through decorations, is crucial. Find a message or theme and use these silent guidelines to say what you want to say. Find your trademark - in the types of utensils you like to use, through scrolls or flowers, through meals and sweet cake decorations - and get creative.

"Okay. That's it for today. I'll give you a few days - in which all you'll do with me is exercise - in order for you to memorize these rules, and then we'll have our first test. Break."


	6. Chapter 6

_Author's Note_ : In learning about tea ceremony, I have to thank… well, first, I have to thank wikipedia, haha. But second, I have to thank one particular research book! "The Tea Ceremony" by Sen'o Tanaka is a great read. Some of these bits of information are direct quotes from his book. There are sections of the book that I didn't cover, so if you're interested in this at all, I highly recommend buying it! It is a great read! It is like Teh Awesome!

Also, this tea ceremony stuff is... pretty involved. The rest of the lessons won't be this... one sided, I guess could be a good way to put it. But for tea ceremony, there was just a lot of info and not really much to comment on. Read for the info and the ending of chapter six, then move on.

* * *

6.

"You all did well in the test on the basic performance and aesthetic philosophies of tea ceremony, so today we'll be moving on to temae, which is the step by step procedure of tea making. Today I'll be giving you details about the basic performance of the tea part of the tea gathering that you probably didn't know before.

"There are three basic elements in the concept of temae: arrangement, purification, and calmness of mind.

"Arrangement means carrying the tea utensils into the tea room and setting them down properly. The tea utensils should be brought into the room one by one - unless your particular temae style tells you to have all the utensils in the room beforehand - and regardless of style, the utensils should always be arranged so that their beauty can be admired from many different angles.

"Purification is the act of cleaning the utensils. One always warms the tea bowl (and tea whisk) with hot water and wipes it dry. Then one passes a piece of silk over the tea caddy and the tea scoop. This should be done without pretension. The true tea master does everything for and with the spirit of peace, not so things look beautiful. The silk cleaning symbolizes a cleansing and purification of the mind, and should put a feeling of peace and tranquility inside the guests.

"Calmness of mind means that the tea master should never be too quick or hurried. After the cakes have been served, a short space of time should elapse, during which the tea is made and presented to the guests. After the tea has been drunk, the way the utensils are rinsed and put away should also be smooth and without hurry. Everything about tea ceremony should be about tranquility.

"Now here's another list of three. Temae can be divided into three main types, each with individual characteristics: the shoin style, the soan style and the hiroma style.

"In shoin style, there is a cabinet called daisu with an upper and lower shelf where all the utensils used for the tea ceremony are placed - this is in addition to the items on the shelves in the alcoves. Great solemnity is essential to the tea preparation in this style, and strict accordance to rules of etiquette must also be observed. It is also said the host's mind should be free of all mundane thoughts for the duration of the ceremony.

"In soan style, which I usually practice, a less formal ceremony is used. Only the tea caddy, kettle, water jug, and brazier are in the room at the beginning of the ceremony - the host brings the rest of the utensils out himself one by one as the ceremony progresses. No daisu is used. The host and the guests sit facing one another on equal terms across the fire pit, and extremely wabi utensils are used.

"Hiroma is also referred to as "large room style." It is the most regulated of the three types, and most suited to large gatherings of people. The alcove is always decorated in a special way, and shelves have to be built into the room to hold all the utensils. The host uses two tea bowls at the same time to ensure that the tea is properly prepared.

"There are other styles, but I'm going to make life easier for you and say you only have to memorize the big three. Go ahead, I want a thank you."

"Thank you, Anko-sensei!"

"There we are. Now here are some important rules on how to actually prepare the tea, which is obviously the most important part of temae.

"First, the boiling-water-versus-tea proportion is crucial. Tea ceremony revolves around powdered matcha green tea, which is why all tea ceremony includes a tea scoop. You use the scoop to scoop out the tea and pour and mix it into the boiling water (with the whisk). You always have to remember to use the proper amount of tea per bowl of boiling water. This is the most obvious rule if you've ever mixed a drink. In making koicha (or thick tea), three heaped tea scoops of tea is required per person. In making usucha (or thin tea), only half that amount is needed. It is said that the best tea results when the correct amount of tea for three to five persons is made at the same time in the same tea bowl.

"Now let's focus on mixing with the whisk. How to mix correctly? In the case of making koicha, the whisk is moved slowly and smoothly, so that a thick liquid is created. In usucha, the whisk is moved back and forth quickly until a foam appears - usually after fifteen to twenty strokes.

"There are a number of other factors - chiefly, the amount of water added, the temperature of the water used, and the freshness of the tea - in which there are no real set rules, though how hot the water should be when poured depends on the season, and fresh tea should always be used especially on or after humid days. Mostly, you'll figure out how to make a good cup of tea through practice. As a beginner, try not to worry about it too much - just experiment a little, and do the best you can. You'll get the hang of it.

"Now here are some rules if you're the guest of a tea ceremony - which you will be. You will be my guest before you will be a host.

"On guest attire: One can wear a formal kimono complete with family crest - as the host typically does. One can wear a hakama or a jitoku - though a longer kimono coat is not permissible. Tabi socks go with the more traditional clothes, especially for men. A man not clad in traditional wear should still be wearing formal clothes. A woman not clad in traditional wear should be wearing a dress or skirt that still covers her knees even when she is kneeling. She should also wear a clean pair of white socks over her stockings. Jewelry, and other accessories that might scratch or damage the tea utensils when held, are not allowed. Perfume and cologne are also not allowed - it could interfere with the smell of incense and spoil the ambience in the tea room.

"On guest personal items: Each guest should bring a folding fan (sensu), but not for cooling themselves. The fan is used to greet the host and other guests. A guest should also bring a tenugui, or long handkerchief, to wipe their hands with before entering the tea room. They should also bring a thin piece of tissue paper, kaishi - you might have heard me mention it before, but this is what the guest uses to wipe their mouth with after they have eaten the cakes, and to wipe the rim of the bowl clean after drinking the tea. A guest should also bring a kobukusa, a small piece of brocade cloth on which to rest the bowl as they drink the tea.

"On guest behavior: It is considered impolite to be late for a small tea gathering that is set for an appointed time. It is good manners to arrive twenty minutes before the ceremony starts, as I said before. Small parties, especially small formal parties, always require punctuality. I rarely invite Kakashi to such parties. If you've been invited to a huge day-long gathering, on the other hand… then, eh. It's not as important to arrive on time. Though punctuality is still nice.

"Also, give your host at least a few days' warning before you show up for a tea ceremony. They need time to prepare.

"Don't enter any rooms other than the room in which the tea ceremony is being held - and especially don't go into any places blocked by a stone or bamboo pole. You'll know the difference between a stepping stone and a blocking stone. When walking through the garden, always use the stepping stones - don't walk on the moss or grass. The people who run the tea house work very hard to keep it looking that way.

"Smoking is actually prohibited at tea ceremonies, which is why a colleague of mine Asuma will never go near one. The smoking set? It's just for decoration. It's basically a big box or ash tray, and you can tell it's for decoration if you look close enough, because the ash has been leveled off and properly arranged. Never put a cigarette in the smoking set. Ever. That would be funny, but if you try it I'll kill you.

"Sometimes there are designated places to smoke - I know none of you smoke, but I thought I'd mention it in case you need to direct others - if you've really gotta smoke, ask the host. Also, you can smoke more freely after the formal portion is over and when the talking begins. So really, you've just gotta wait. If you can't do that, you have a serious nicotine problem.

"I've already told you about when to be silent, the formalized ways of asking questions by the chief guest, and when you can talk. Just know that even when you can talk, don't talk or laugh excessively. Maintain good manners and at least some sense of quiet. It's like speaking in a library. The place is very formal when it comes to quiet.

"When the articles are presented for viewing, try to avoid actually touching them. But on the other hand, it's the host's job to arrange the articles in such a way that they can be easily seen, yet emanate a 'no-touch' aura.

"Really, it's all common-sense stuff. Just don't be an idiot.

"Now let's talk about the cakes for a minute. Cakes are always served before tea. Those made from sweet bean paste are called namagashi and are served with thick tea, while higashi, dry cookies with a sandy texture, are served with the thin tea. As I've already told you, the kaiseki meal comes before the cakes. Then comes the little cakes. Then you go take a break and rinse your mouth out with water before the tea is served, so the taste of the tea is not spoiled.

"Wagashi are usually served on individual plates, the size of a saucer, and handled with a toothpick. The guest brings the plate in front of his knees, and transfers the cake to his kaishi paper using the toothpick. The guest then uses the toothpick to cut the cake into bite sized pieces before eating it. Sometimes, when the number of guests is uncertain, a lot of little cakes are put into one container, and in this case chopsticks to pick one out should be provided by the host. In this way, the cakes are never actually touched.

"The cakes are served in a row on down the line, from chief guest to last guest. Before eating a cake, it is customary to say "O saki ni," or "Please excuse me for eating first."

"For higashi, everything is the same, except the higashi are usually served on a tray or in a lidded container and passed around. When there are two types of higashi, take one of each. Never take more than three items.

"There are rules for drinking the tea as well. For usucha:

"Place the bowl outside the border of the tatami you are sitting on. If there is a guest who has been before you, say, "O shoban sasete itadakimasu," or "Please let me accompany you." And to the guest who has not yet been served, say "O saki ni." And to the host, you then turn and say, "O temae o chodai itashimasu," or "I'll partake of your tea." Pick up the bowl with your right hand. Place it in the palm of your left hand. Put the fingers of your right hand around it, with the thumb facing you, and make a small bow as a sign of reverence. Grasp the rim of the bowl with your forefinger and thumb and turn it about ninety degrees clockwise. Take a sip. Comment on how good it tastes, while dropping your right hand on the tatami before your knees. Drink the remaining tea in small sips and when you come to the last sip, inhale deeply, making an audible sound and finish the tea.

"After drinking, wipe the rim of the bowl lightly with your kaishi, always from left to right. With your right hand, once more turn the bowl counterclockwise so that it is as it was at the start. Place the bowl on the outside of the tatami border, and examine it briefly to admire its shape. You can hold the bowl to do this, though it is considered impolite to raise the bowl too high. Pick up the bowl and return it to its original position or, if you are the last guest, to its host.

"For koicha:

"As we know, while with usucha you drink the whole bowl individually, with koicha all guests drink a small amount from the same bowl. So the rules are a bit different, but a lot of essential things are the same.

"A kobukusa brocade is placed beside the chief guest. The chief guest places the bowl of tea on the inside of the tatami, to the left of the kobukusa, between themselves and the second guest. The first and second guest say to each other formally: Let us partake of the tea together.

"The main guest places the kobukusa onto their left palm and the tea bowl on top of it. You put your right fingers around the bowl, nod to the host that you are going to taste the tea, and rotate the bowl again ninety degrees clockwise. Take a sip of the tea. At this time, the host will ask you about the taste of the tea. You reply politely. You take exactly two and a half sips of tea.

"It is now the turn of the next guest to drink. The second guest apologizes for this with a slight bow. After three and a half sips, you place the bowl, with the kobukusa underneath it, on the inside border of the tatami mat. You take a kaishi and wipe the rim of the bowl, again from left to right. Then you fold the kaishi in four and return it to your pocket. The bowl is rotated to its original position, with two turns of ninety degrees each, so that the front (or 'face') of the bowl squarely faces the second guest.

"You then pass the bowl to the second guest with the kobukusa underneath it. If the next guest is a member of the opposite sex, he will place the bowl on the border of the tatami between himself and the next guest, speaking some words of greeting to you as he does so. In this case, you two briefly turn to face each other. You turn back and face forward again after it is all over. He will then touch the tatami with his hands and make a bow, and a nod will be received as a sign of acknowledgment.

"The second guest repeats the actions of the first guest, although he does not nod to the host, as the tea should be drunk while it is hot. Also, the host does not ask each guest repeatedly over and over how the tea tastes; the host only asks the chief guest once. Instead, when the second guest has taken one sip, the chief guest asks the host for the name of the tea they are serving and where it was grown. The host replies. After this, the host does not speak or do anything again until all the tea has been drunk.

"The process is repeated over and over again until the last guest has finished the tea. They will indicate they have finished by a slight hissing sound. The main guest asks for the bowl in order to admire it. The bowl is wiped and brought to the main guest, who passes it around so everyone can inspect and admire it.

"And with that, the koicha drinking is over.

"Okay. And with that, we break for today. I know this is a lot of information to cover. It'll all start coming more naturally once you practice tea ceremony."

* * *

"We are covering our last section today. Some final details on the actual performance of a tea ceremony:

"For both host and guest, it is customary to take a bath and change into clean clothes just before the tea ceremony, and for the guest to arrive up to twenty minutes before the ceremony takes place. Most tea ceremonies are planned, but a true tea master can function even in an unplanned ceremony with a sudden, unexpected guest.

"It is a rule to invite the main guest first. After consultation with the main guest, the host selects other guests. The host also inquires whether date and time are convenient for the main guest - though not for the other guests.

"Let's talk a little about what comes after that for the host - preparations for a tea ceremony.

"The host needs to make sure that the tea room is cleaned thoroughly. The fire pit, tatami mats, linen tea cloth, tea whisk, ladle and silk cloth all need to be spotless. The chopsticks, cake container lid rest, water pipe leading to the wash basin, and chopsticks for the debris pit in the garden all need to be replaced by new ones made of green bamboo. And all the tea utensils for the ceremony need to be chosen and placed in their proper arrangements, so that the ceremony can start as soon as the guests arrive - the scroll and flower arrangement also need to be prepared.

"Then the carpet needs to be placed in the interior waiting room, as do the cups of hot liquid and the iron kettle above the stove.

"The garden must be swept clean that morning, and the grass and shrubbery around the wash basin must be cut and trimmed. The basin must be washed and the area around it swept. A straw hat and geta should be kept in the garden in case of rain. Everything is sprinkled with water, except in winter, when only the stepping stones and the lower portion of the bamboo fence is sprayed with water.

"The waiting bench must have fresh straw cushions, and in the cold weather a kind of heater nearby to keep the guests warm. Also, a wooden pail of hot water should be placed here for the elderly to wash their hands and rinse their mouths.

"The preparation room must be thoroughly cleaned, and all the utensils needed to make the charcoal fire and to serve the two kinds of tea are put in their proper places. These items will later be carried out to the tea room one by one.

"The meal, sweet cakes, and necessarily utensils for the meal - including a lacquered tray or a low table, and the different types of bowls, plates and vessels - need to be prepared and ready.

"And with this, the tea ceremony can begin.

"I have covered different ceremony months and seasons. Now let me cover different ceremony times of day. We have already covered noon ceremonies - the most common type of tea ceremony there is - in the first lecture; now let me tell you about others.

"The dawn ceremony, or Akatsuki no Chaji, is usually performed to bid a friend who is leaving early in the morning, farewell, and is most often held during the winter when the fire pit is used. The first part of the ceremony is usually over before dawn, and the guests enter the tea room between three and four in the morning. In fact, in earlier times this ceremony was known as Zanto no Chaji because the moon was still in the sky and the stone lanterns around the garden would still be alight. Even today, the kettle is put over a charcoal fire started the previous evening, and the room is dimly lit with candles in order to view the stone lanterns in the garden. In this type of ceremony, the guest is first offered some tea, which is followed by charcoal being placed in the fire pit; after this, the kaiseki meal is eaten. In very cold weather, a few pieces of charcoal are taken out of the fire pit and placed in a container for the guests to warm their hands. A fresh kettle of water is brought and placed over the fire pit. A host has to be very experienced to pull off an Akatsuki ceremony, while a guest has to be equally experienced in order to appreciate all its nuances.

"Then there is the evening ceremony, or Yobanashi no Chaji. I have already mentioned this type as well. It's held on long wintry nights. Usually, there is much leisurely conversation between host and guests before the ceremony begins. Tea is served first. Then comes the charcoal fire. Then comes the kaiseki meal. After the tea has been drunk, both thick and thin, there is another ceremony performed for lighting the fire. It is called tatezumi. The host continues to talk to the guests during this ceremony, while listening to the pleasant crackle of charcoal. During this type of ceremony, the tea rooms are lit with lanterns made of wood and paper, so flowers are not used to decorate the alcove, since the light distorts their natural colors. Occasionally, though, if the season is right, white plum blossoms or white narcissus are displayed.

"Then there is the early-morning ceremony, different from the dawn ceremony. It's only held in summer months, usually between five and six in the morning to avoid the heat of the sun. It's very fast-paced, the host moves quickly, and the entertainment ends rapidly - which goes against everything I've taught you, I know, but it's a race against the sun.

"Then there is the mealtime ceremony. It can be held either before or after a meal, and no kaiseki is served, only sweet cakes. The sweet cakes must be very specific in this type of ceremony - usually cakes made of glutinous rice. After the sweets, a bowl of clear soup is served, and a cup of sake wine is passed around and drunk. Then the guests retreat to the waiting room to wash their hands and relax. Then comes the tea. This ceremony also takes place rather hurriedly.

"Then there is what's known as a 'special' tea ceremony, usually held for distinguished visitors. The host always uses his most prized tea utensils.

"And finally, there is the impromptu ceremony. This is usually held spontaneously, during special moments such as viewing a full moon, fresh snow, cherry trees in bloom, or when a friend arrives unexpectedly from a faraway place. It's much more informal, little is orderly, the food consists of rice balls or rice covered seaweed on ordinary plates, and there aren't many tea utensils and they aren't very fancy. I always call this the Fuck It Ceremony, and it's one of my favorites because all the rules just go out the window. Sometimes you need to do that - throw the rules out the window. It's cathartic.

"There are tea ceremonies for other special occasions - New Year's Eve celebrations, congratulations and birthday celebrations, memorial services, and ceremonies for the parting between two people. But in general there aren't many differences.

"One note that I don't think really goes anywhere: always burn incense before a ceremony. It masks the smell of charcoal or smoke.

"And finally, a word about flower arrangement - I will be teaching you ikebana in the next section. But ikebana is different from chabana, and chabana is what you will use for tea ceremony. The good news is that chabana is simpler. While ikebana is all about taking carefully selected different flowers and arranging them in a certain shape in a certain style to produce a certain message - technically, there are three points in the shape, representing heaven, earth, and the universe - we'll get into that. But ikebana is basically a highly artificial and stylized arrangement meant to produce a certain artistic message. Chabana, on the other hand, is about arranging flowers from a certain season the way you would find them in the field, in a vase. It's that simple. There are some other differences: with ikebana, you are allowed to pluck off leaves and petals to better expose the shape, and you are allowed to use items like wood, stone, metal. Chabana, on the other hand, means picking field flowers early in the season and arranging them as they would be in the field. No using other materials, no picking off petals or leaves, and no using strongly scented flowers either. Also, in ikebana the vase is not a big part, while in chabana the basket, vase, bamboo container, etc that you put the flowers into certainly plays a very big part.

"And that's what you do for tea ceremony. Wear a formal (and preferably dark and humble) kimono - fashion does not have to come into play yet, only wabi does - then put the seasonal flowers in a chosen vase the way you would find them in the field, choose a hanging scroll and utensils from my collection, and cook a meal - I'll help you with the last part. Remember, the point is to make a trademark or send a message. After that, it's all about remembering the steps, doing everything peacefully and gracefully, without pretension, and making good tea.

"So. I'll give you another few days, then give you test number two. And then, if that goes well, you'll start attending my tea ceremonies."

* * *

At first, the girls felt overwhelmed, like their heads were about to explode. "I'm never going to remember all this," Ino was heard to moan. But Anko had been right - once they started viewing and attending ceremonies it did all come together and begin to make sense. There was a sort of peace to the ritual. You stopped worrying about outside forces. That kind of mindset, Anko had said, could be cultivated in their everyday lives so that they made for calmer, better, and more focused ninja.

Then Anko got to see her students begin to blossom as they performed their own tea ceremonies.

All three girls chose to specialize in the informal soan style like their Sensei had.

Ino's ceremonies were bright. Not in the sense of being showy or gaudy, but in the sense that she always chose the brightest and most lively and cheerful seasonal flowers and utensil design themes. When possible, she always went with the happy message. She also always enjoyed putting that little bit of extra flavor and kick into her food. While she didn't put out her typical mischievous excitement in the tea room, she did smile serenely a lot more during her ceremonies than the other two. She left her guests with a happy feeling.

Sakura's ceremonies were more rigid and stylized, with solemn, plain flowers and little artistic signs of melancholy. She was usually very serious during her ceremonies, mostly out of nerves, and her trademark was that she always chose to decorate her wagashi with cherry blossom flower themes. Sakura's grace was always one of quiet and understated elegance that it took an observant or experienced guest to truly appreciate; her keen memory came in handy here and unlike the other two, when it came to the rules, she never made a mistake during a tea ceremony.

There were some key differences here: if Ino chose nightingales for an akatsuki ceremony, for example, Sakura would always choose lingering snow. And while Ino's flower choices excelled in spring, Sakura's excelled in autumn. Sakura left her guests in a silent, peaceful kind of awe; Ino left her guests feeling calm and happy and relaxed, good about themselves.

But it was Hinata who truly excelled in tea ceremony.

Her scroll paintings and stylistic choices were always magnificent to behold, grand and sweeping and delicately beautiful in their view, and of course with her calm elegance and wealthy clan family she always looked the most natural and at home in the tea house and wore the fanciest black silk family-crested kimono. She was good at creating innovative little touches no one would have thought of before, and was the only beginner Anko had ever heard of who enjoyed holding ceremonies outside in untrained space. _That's brave,_ Anko thought the first time she saw it. She thought that a lot about Hinata. Hinata always comported herself with a native kind of dignity, but never with arrogance - an art which her father, Hiashi, who Anko knew, had never been able to master.

And slowly, as the girls continued practicing cha-no-yu even as they moved on to other arts, it began to show in their mentality. They became calmer and more focused, were less bothered by outside forces, and became less judgmental in their viewpoint.

It was a mindset and an art that could only be cultivated over time.


	7. Chapter 7

_Author's Notes:_ To see what the flower arrangements I mentioned look like, and to get more information on flower arrangements than what I presented, read this book: "Ikebana: The Art of Arranging Flowers" by Shozo Sato. It was a great research book. Some bits of information in here are direct quotes from his book, but I didn't cover everything in the book, so if you're interested in ikebana… he's your guy.

This chapter should be less dense than the last two. With ikebana, I had a little more room to maneuver.

* * *

7.

Next, Anko took her team one afternoon to an ikebana - or, flower arrangement - exhibition.

"Your next art is ikebana," she said as they walked inside, to find hundreds of neat little white-clad tables set with rows of fanciful flower displays all along the convention center floor. "As I said previously, while chabana is all about how flowers are found in nature, ikebana is about creating an artificial art display to say something beautiful."

Hinata tugged at Anko's coat and Anko leaned down. "We want to ask a question quietly now, before we go inside, so the flower arrangers don't hear us," she murmured.

"Yeah," said Ino, "and the question is - why would ikebana be important to a ninja? I mean, don't get me wrong, I love flowers. My Mom owns a flower shop and sometimes I help her out, telling people different flower meanings and helping them find the right bouquets. But… for a ninja…"

"We assume there's a reason," said Sakura simply. "Or else you wouldn't have brought us here."

"Correct," said Anko. "First, ikebana is all about showing your creativity within a defined set of rules. Even more than with cha-no-yu, this is essential. And that mentality - being creative within a defined set of rules - can help you greatly with ninja techniques. All ninja taijutsu styles, all ninja chakra-based techniques, have rules you must follow. A ninja's job, then, is to be creative within those rules, and do something unusual, powerful, surprising. So try to think of it in those terms.

"Also, don't think of it so much as 'putting a bunch of flowers in a vase.' As you will see, it's much more complex than that. Think of it more as a kind of installation art - one that can be made about the home - a temporary sculpture of sorts, which fades quickly with time. Ikebana, in fact, strongly influenced modern installation art. But this kind of sculpture is easy. With the correct rules and techniques, and some imagination, some flowers, and a vase, basically anyone can do it."

And so Anko led them around, teaching them about the different ikebana styles or schools as she pointed displays out to them. "This is an example of this. That is an example of that." And so on.

"First, there is Rikka, the oldest and most elegant of them all. Rikka has nine key positions. All these key positions must be filled by branches in order to create a sort of skeletal structure around which you create your arrangements. Here are the nine - it'll be easier if you draw a diagram and label it."

The girls took out their notebooks.

"Rikka must have:

"Shin: the main high point." She pointed at the highest, straightest, and longest center branch in the arrangement.

"Uke: the summit one can reach." She pointed at a branch reaching out from the lower middle, going over toward the right side if you were looking at it from the front.

"Hikae: achieving balance." Hikae reached out toward the left side from the very bottom.

"Sho shin: central point." Sho shin reached out long to the top and then slanted out to the left. She was Shin's left-side guard.

"Soe: secondary or supporting branch." Soe was Uke's sister - she reached out from the lower middle, but went to the left side.

"Nagashi: stream." Nagashi was Hikae's sister - she reached out toward the right side from the very bottom.

"Mikoshi: mist dividing the sacred from the common." Mikoshi was Shin's right-side guard. She reached out long to the top and then slanted to the right.

"Do: body." Do was a bunch of blossoms collected around the center branch, between the lower middle and the very bottom sides.

"Mae oki: front body." Mae oki was a frontal blossom below the very bottom branches.

"Then there are two more accompanying positions to the nine main positions:

"Ki dome: village." Ki dome was Mae oki's sister - her right side guard.

"Kusa dome: city." Kusa dome was Mae oki's other sister - her left side guard.

"There are many variations in Rikka, as different people do different things with the rules and the positions of the keys. But let's look at a few examples.

"Here is one. This is a Noki Shin variation. The vase is contemporary white glaze. Shin and uke are summer sumac branches. Soe and nagashi are spindle tree branches. Sho shin is a dark purple iris bud. Mae oki is a variegated hosta plant, do is a yew branch, hikae is an orange lily bud, the kusa dome is fringed pink and sticks out from the side of the hosta plant. Ki dome is cypress leaves sticking out from the other side of the hosta plant. And then there is an additional open space filled with the color of a balloon flower, just for effect.

"What does this arrangement make you think of?"

"Summer," said Ino.

"Cool breezes," said Sakura.

"Exactly. So not only do you have to think about the parts, you have to think of how a person will feel when all the elements are put together."

"It's very elegant," Hinata murmured.

"Flower arrangements take a long time and a lot of precision to make, and they do have a native kind of elegance to them," said Anko. "Take this one over here." She led them to a different Rikka arrangement. "This is in the Sugu Shin style.

"See all the twisted pine branches on the right hand side? Those were reassembled from small pieces of pine. Pine branches about a foot long were cut, and the limbs and pine needles were removed for reassembling. The pine needles were then separated into groups and wired onto the limbs in a precise format. The limbs were then rewired to the foot-long bare branches in a fish-bone pattern. These pine branches were then slid onto nails protruding from the main trunk of the arrangement.

"Now look at the chrysanthemum blossoms. Each blossom had a copper wire attached underneath the stem with thin wire, and every leaf was reinforced with a thin wire. This enabled the flower arranger to bend the blossoms and leaves the way they pleased.

"Also, since pine needles have no way of obtaining water, they probably have to be constantly sprayed with sake wine. The sugar would coat the needle while the alcohol evaporates, and so the original moisture is held in the needle.

"And even with all that, this arrangement will only last five days maximum. Probably at least the number of days it took to _prepare_ the arrangement.

"As you can see, a lot of time and preparation goes into this. Ikebana is so much more than picking some flowers in a field and making them look nice. Even chabana has more rules than that."

"Wow…" Sakura's eyes were wide. "I had no idea. I always thought I was awful at ikebana, because…"

"Because she didn't give you any directions or rules." Anko nodded. "Exactly. It's like telling someone to do a taijutsu set without teaching them taijutsu."

They walked past more Rikka sets, all lovely, each having different plants but all retaining the same basic shape. Anko pointed details out to them. Vases - in bronze and colored ceramic, mostly. And endless plants: pine, quince japonica, weeping willow, narcissus flowers, leaf blades, azalia, yew, camellia, chrysanthemums, red berries, iris, spirea, forsythia, lily… endless numbers of plants, it seemed.

"Sensei," said Sakura curiously at last, "you seem to be saying that ikebana is more about the artistic message than about beauty. So, how do you know which plants will have which effect?"

"When in doubt, go with the season or the place the plant grows," said Anko over her shoulder. "You want an elegant winter arrangement? Pick winter flowers that typically signify elegance, or that seem elegant to you - add in some pine and some berries if you want to invoke Christmas. You want to invoke New Year? Use young or youthful-seeming plants. You see what I mean. Certain flowers and plants mean certain things to certain people. Ikebana is also a good exercise in psychology - albeit plant psychology - another way it would be useful to a ninja."

"So it's entirely different from putting together a pretty bouquet for a flower shop?" Ino confirmed.

"As opposite as night and day. Ikebana isn't a bouquet, it's an artistic sculpture. It only looks like a bouquet because it's a bunch of plants in a vase.

"And next, we have Seika style." She stopped at a table. "Seika developed from Rikka, but it's much simpler. It has three points, so draw another diagram:

"The first point is Shin." Shin was a long branch coming up straight, tall, and proud in the center.

"The second point is Soe." Soe sprouted out from the left.

"The third point is Tai-Saki." Tai-Saki sprouted out from the right.

"Now look at this one. The vase is a basket - the other vase type, which we haven't seen yet, is bamboo, by the way. And the points are all either bare tree peony branches or tree peony buds. The thing about Seika is that the arrangement has to be simpler and slimmer, yet effective. If you do Seika well, it can be even more deeply moving than the complex Rikka.

"Now, we're going move on to more modern arrangements. The thing about ancient arrangements was that it was and still _is_ actually rude not to view them from the front. There were right hand side and left hand side arrangements, and sometimes branches were layered over each other to create an effect that would be ruined if the arrangement was looked at from the side. Seika and Rikka both follow this pattern. Everything I have shown you so far in detail is left hand, for example - your diagrams are left hand. To do right hand, simply flip them over. Not too difficult.

"But more modern styles are viewed from a 360 degree angle. You have to be able to walk around and around them and still get the full effect. That leads us to Moribana, which literally means 'piling up of flowers.' Moribana focuses on volume - creating a big, artistic pile of flowers that can be viewed from any viewpoint. The key with Moribana is 'order within chaos.' The sculpture should look like it took you no time, while in reality it probably took you a very long time.

"And freestyle I can't even explain. Anything goes, really. It's like avant-garde flower arrangement. Don't get me wrong, it takes a lot of skill to artfully break all the rules, but that still means there are no rules. You have to see to understand. Let's walk by some."

So they passed through Seika, by Moribana, and then through freestyle, which was amazing. Anything really did go. Once they saw a tall vase at the top of which was a single leafed flower wrapped around itself intricately. They saw countless arrangements that were slanted so that all the plants were going in the same direction. They saw huge arrangements, tiny arrangements, in-between sized arrangements.

"I would start with the more regimented styles," Anko called over her shoulder. "Once you know the rules, if you want to, you can break them using freestyle.

"And finally, we have what might be called 'actual sculptures'."

That was when they began walking past vast, man-sized sculptures made out of branches, held together chopsticks, firewood and vegetable roots, and there were a few amazing all-nature installations that made use of not only space but artificial lighting - a risky thing to do in ikebana as much as it was in chabana.

Anko stopped them up at the end of the exhibition. "And with that, I have walked you through all the basic styles still in use today. Any questions? Good. Next, we have a few lessons on tools and techniques - for shaping and creating, that sort of thing. And last, we get into lessons on ikebana itself. I'm not just going to give you a few diagrams, show you some examples, give you some tools, and say 'figure it out.' I am going to give you actual lessons."

She smiled in amusement as the girls relaxed in relief.

* * *

And so Anko taught them. She gave them the proper tools for the job. These tools included:

\- A small saw to cut thick branches

\- A hatchet to shave and shape thick branches

\- Scissors for thinner materials

\- Thin wire, vinyl, and florist's tape to make the arrangements stand straight and upright

\- Kenzan - a spiky tool for fixing flowers solid into the bottom of a container - and various accoutrements surrounding the kenzan

\- Traditional flower holders

\- Geometry materials and rulers

Then she taught them techniques.

"First, you have to learn how to bend the branches to the shape you desire them to be in. Most people can bend a thin flower branch with both hands. Just don't do it until I've -"

CRACK!

Anko sighed, closing her eyes. "Until I've told you how to bend them without breaking them."

Ino stood there sheepishly with a cracked branch in her hands. She blushed. "Oops."

Sakura gave her an amused but exasperated look. Hinata giggled. Ino threw part of her flower stem at Hinata.

"If you guys start a flower fight in the middle of your first ikebana lesson… I will actually be impressed," Anko realized to herself.

"Sensei, how do we _actually_ bend the thin branches?" Sakura asked, desperate for anything that would make her feel like 'not an idiot' when it came to ikebana. It had always been so embarrassing at the Academy. She usually got perfect grades, but with ikebana she could never pass. She always chose the plainer flowers and her teacher continuously gave her poor marks. Ino, meanwhile, had been brilliant at making colorful bouquets, having had years of practice in her Mom's shop - and she'd been smug about it, too.

 _Just go find some flowers and make sure they're pretty._ What the hell kind of teaching was that?!

"Give strong support to the bottom and top of the branch with the palm and fingers of your left hand - farther up on the branch," said Anko, gripping and demonstrating. "Then - _gently, Ino -_ "

"Okay!"

"Bend farther down with your right hand."

They did it with her, slowly.

"Very good. The other way is with a candle flame." They were at Anko's house. Anko moved the candle on the table to front and center.

"I was wondering why that candle was there…" said Hinata.

"There are two steps to this. First, place the branch over the candle flame and bend. Second, when bend has been achieved, immediately plunge the heated section into a cup of cold water. This will stabilize the bend.

"Now you try it."

And they each did in turn. Hinata had some problems. "You're being too gentle," Anko said. "You don't have to be too careful. Bend harder." So Hinata put in an extra little _push_ \- and the bend was achieved.

Next, Anko showed them how to create a sharper bent angle, by giving the branch support and then almost breaking it in half - breaking it apart on top, but not on bottom. It took some practice from all three girls to get this technique correct. Then Anko taught them how to do the same thing with scissors.

They learned a number of other techniques, including:

\- Stretching and applying pressure to a leaf to bend it into the correct shape

\- How to use wire supports

\- How to shape flower petals

\- How to use the Kenzan to stabilize floral materials

Then came the actual lessons.

"We'll start with Seika lessons," said Anko, hands on her hips as the three girls sat at the kitchen table in front of her. "We'll use the kenzan to start out with, and pussy willow branches because they're easy to bend. Now, choose your three branches, according to length and thickness. Put them in order on the table."

The girls did this.

"Bend the shin branch to a bow shape, and place it on the kenzan. Next, bend the soe and cut it to the right length. Place it on the kenzan directly behind the shin, 45 degrees to the left and 40 to 45 degrees forward. Do the same on the other side with tai. Now select your shin front and back complements, and place them. Then proceed with the complementary branches for soe and tai. Always keep in mind proper length and spacing between the branches.

"While you're measuring, I'm going to explain something to you I mentioned before: the points of _heaven, earth,_ and _man_ in ikebana. Shin is heaven, soe is earth, and taisaki is man. If you keep the tips of each of these branches in a triangular formation, supposedly, you will achieve complexity in simplicity. Each of the complementary sets should also be put in a triangular formation. And this way, you can make increasingly complex arrangements."

And then, once they had each measured, calculated, and made a Seika formation:

"The other style I am going to show you is Moribana. Moribana is the first step to contemporary freestyle.

"Draw a circle. Fold it in half along a ninety degree line. The perpendicular line, as you can see, is zero degrees. Now, flower arrangements are three dimensional. This means that shin at ten degrees leans ten degrees right or left of the perpendicular line of zero, and ten degrees forward. Use this to measure your arrangement.

"In the basic style, shin will be placed ten degrees to the left and ten degrees forward. Soe will be 40 left and 40 forward. Tai - 70 and 70.

"In the first variation, shin remains. Soe moves 70 degrees down and forward. Tai moves 40 right and 40 forward.

"In the second variation, soe moves 40 degrees to the right instead of left, and is also at 40 forward. Tai is 70 left and 70 forward. These are the only changes.

"In the third variation, soe moves to 70 degrees right and 45 degrees forward. Tai is 40 left and 40 forward. These are the only changes.

"And thus, you have Moribana.

"Now, you see there, you have two very simple calculations to do for two very distinct styles of ikebana. From Seika, you can move on to Rikka; from Moribana, you can move on to freeform. All you have to do after this is memorize the rules and choose what flower types you want to fit to each round of calculations - remember, this is an art form, so always try to say something with your arrangements.

"I would also encourage you, once you memorize the rules, to start breaking them in precise and explicit ways - ways that send a message. There are two main rules to ikebana: creativity to a theme or message, and geometry. Put similar shapes and themes together - unless you purposefully want to create dissonance.

"Now. I will give you a few days, and then we will have a test. After that, I want each of you to make a flower arrangement on your own in either Seikka or Moribana style."

* * *

Anko would give this to them - they spent much time analyzing geometry and putting their symbolic creativity to the task. Each arrangement was specifically calculated to hit the viewer in a certain way.

Hinata's chosen theme was solemnity, and her style was Seikka. In her arrangement, she put orchids, lilies, and weeping willow branches with the leaves reattached in long tails.

Sakura's chosen theme was a new spring blossoming, and she chose Seikka. In her arrangement, she put carnations, tulips, and sakura blossoms - all three kinds of flowers used sparingly, little bursts of colored blossoms here and there - and strawberry bush branches.

Ino's chosen theme was the wind, and she chose Moribana. Hers was the craziest. She picked a lot of wildflowers and flowers with big blossoms and had them all bent as if in a high wind at a ridiculous angle. It was ballsy, but somehow it worked. Ino, Anko could tell, would in the future gravitate toward the avant-garde, the freeform, and the dissonant.

And then Anko was left with three perfect arrangements, from three young women who were blossoming themselves.

Later, when the girls were gone, Kakashi hadn't come over yet, and nobody was around, Anko took photos.


	8. Chapter 8

_Author's Notes:_ If you want a look at the recipes I describe here - I was very careful never to copy down a recipe word for word, you probably can't make any of these recipes yourselves just from my descriptions - check out this cookbook: _Japanese Soul Cooking: Ramen, Tonkatsu, Tempura, and More From the Streets and Kitchens of Tokyo and Beyond_ by Tadashi Ono and Harris Saint.

This is part one of the cooking training. I should finish up with part two in the next chapter. Part two will have more sections, but it will go quicker because they're more experienced cooks and have more of an idea of what to expect.

* * *

8.

Anko had the three girls in her apartment again not long after ikebana introductions were over. Again, they were in the kitchen. "I am going to be teaching you three how to cook," she said. "A practical talent that will also make guys love you."

"Really?" Ino asked curiously.

"The easiest way to a man's heart is through his stomach, on an infiltration level On a personal level, male ninja eat a _lot_ of food. Trust me. So let's get started!

"You guys already know about eating healthy before and after exercising. I've taught you about that. It's not that hard, doesn't require much cooking experience, and we don't need to get into it. All it takes is discipline and dedication.

"No, what I'm going to teach you now is flavorful, homey comfort foods. Soul food, if you will. Big dinner kinds of foods. I'm not talking miso soup, grilled fish, tofu, and pickled vegetables. I'm talking ramen, gyoza, curry, tonkatsu, furai, okonomiyaki, wafu pasta - stuff like that. Because sometimes food and cooking have to be fun. You should always have a big, fun meal to reward yourself at the end of the day, if you want my opinion. I'll give you each a copy of my recipes, and then walk you through the recipe step by step until you get it right.

"We'll go section by section. Section one is ramen."

All the girls sweat-dropped as they thought of Naruto.

"Hey, don't knock ramen. I know the pre-packaged stuff is awful, but home-cooked, it can be amazing: rich broth, springy wheat noodles, savory seasonings, toppings of tender braised meat and creamy soft-boiled egg. Try go telling Ichiraku Teuchi, owner of one of the best ramen restaurants in town, that his food is cheap and horrible for you - watch how fast he can throw something at you.

"There are four elements to ramen:

"First, there's the soup - also known as the broth. The soup can be made from pork bones, chicken bones, kombu, or dried and shaved bonito. These elements have to be cooked in a vat for several hours to bring out the flavors; sometimes they're used in combination with each other.

"Second, there's the tare. This is a fancier way of saying the seasoning. The seasoning can be soy sauce, or miso - depending on what kind of ramen you are making.

"Third, there are the wheat noodles. There are many kinds of wheat noodles, depending on what region you're getting them from - wavy and straight, thick and thin, yellow and not yellow.

"And then there are the toppings: slices of braised pork or chicken, slow cooked eggs steeped in soy sauce, thin-sliced scallion or onion, pickled bamboo shoots, sheets of nori seaweed. Those are the main possible toppings.

"You assemble these ingredients by mixing soup and tare at the same time you're cooking and straining the noodles. Then you put it all together and finish the dish with your chosen toppings. So, say you're making ramen. You could decide to mix chicken bone and kombu broth with soy sauce tare, put in thick wavy noodles, and then top the dish with slow cooked eggs steeped in soy sauce and thinly sliced scallion. That's just one possibility.

"However, three primary ramen styles are around - soy sauce ramen, miso ramen, and tonkotsu ramen.

"With soy sauce ramen, the soup is traditionally cooked from chicken bones, pork bones, bonito, and kombu. The tare is based on soy sauce. The noodles are wavy and thin. The ramen is sometimes topped with spinach, in addition to braised meat slices, eggs, scallions, bamboo shoots, and nori.

"Miso ramen joints cook a fatty, rich pork and chicken soup. Their tare is made from miso. They use thick, wavy noodles, and their toppings include ground pork, cabbage, bean sprouts, butter, and corn.

"Then there's tonkotsu ramen. Pork bone soup. No tare. Thin, straight, barely cooked noodles. Braised meat and scallion toppings. Also, sometimes tonkotsu ramen joints keep condiments like grated garlic, sesame seed, red pickled ginger, and pickled spicy mustard greens handy for customers to put on themselves.

"So let's get started with some ramen recipes. It sounds hard, but it's easier to cook for yourself at home than you might think."

* * *

For the ramen section, first Anko taught them how to make ramen soup and chashu. The soup was the broth, while the chashu was simmered, slow braised meat slice toppings. You made the two simultaneously: by putting the pork into the soup's water alongside chicken bones, ginger, garlic, scallions, and carrot, and cooking it all on high heat, letting the ingredients simmer for hours. Then you removed the pork and set it aside to cut it up for chashu topping. Then you strained the soup and discarded all the ingredients left behind. And, voila! Ramen soup! The nice thing about ramen soup was that you could cook up a batch ahead of time, between missions or on a weekend, and then keep it in the freezer for up to a month.

This sounded simple in theory, but in reality it caused all sorts of problems for novice cooks. First, they had to learn how to crush ingredients with a knife in order to crush the garlic and the ginger.

"But won't putting my palm on the blade hurt my hand?" Hinata asked hesitantly, holding the knife.

"Only if you're stupid enough to press down on the wrong side," said Anko flatly, which did not instill Hinata with confidence.

Meanwhile, Ino was off to the side going, "I'M PRESSING AND NOTHING IS HAPPENING. HOW DO I PRESS AND MAKE STUFF HAPPEN."

"Push the knife in a curve," Sakura suggested. "Like this."

Ino watched, bewildered. "Wizardry," she said.

Next, Anko taught them what boiling did and did not look like - this was not as self evident as it might appear. She taught them that simmering was not boiling - simmering was boiling at a lower temperature. Then it took them three different times to learn to keep an eye on the clock and not burn the food. Finally, they just threw up their hands in defeat and each bought a timer. Next came learning to skim ingredients off the top of a simmering broth.

"Ino, your gagging sounds are not helping," said Anko as she demonstrated.

Then they had to go fishing for the pork and find it again in the broth, lifting it out with a giant ladle. This caused all sorts of laughter and hilarious antics.

And, finally, came the straining.

"Ow! It's hurting my hands, it's hurting my hands, it's hurting my hands!" Hinata and Sakura shrieked, holding the strainer.

"Ino, stop pouring so fast!" Anko barked. "It shouldn't be that heavy! What was all that weight lifting for?!"

Since it was only fair, and made for better learning, Ino then held the strainer while Sakura and Hinata poured.

Next, they made soy sauce marinade - which included not only soy sauce but sake wine, mirin, garlic, scallions, and ginger - and soy sauce eggs. Soy sauce eggs were interesting because they entailed taking a pushpin and pushing a tiny hole in the bottom of each egg, then putting the eggs in boiling water. You had to use chopsticks to spin the eggs around in the saucepan while they were cooking. Then you poured out the boiling water, placed the saucepan under cold running water, and peeled the cooled eggs. (Even peeling was hard at first for the novice cooks.) Last, you put the soy sauce marinade and all the eggs into a bowl together and refrigerated for up to twelve hours. These eggs could last a week refrigerated, so you could use them for more than one dish in the same week. When you wanted to use one, you sliced it lengthwise and placed it atop the ramen.

Of course, this meant teaching the girls how to slice without cutting themselves.

"Curl your fingers under like this so the ends don't get cut off," said Anko, demonstrating. "Put your fingers on one side and your thumb on the other like this, put the knife under and in between them, and slice."

The girls did manage this - though their slices came out rather crooked and uneven.

"Good enough," said Anko.

Those were just the preparatory steps. Now came the actual cooking.

It took some getting used to, even with the soup, marinade, and eggs ready ahead of time. Take shoyu ramen, for example. First, one had to prepare the soy sauce tare (soy sauce, sake wine, mirin, ginger, scallion, garlic). (The nice thing about tare was that it could usually last in the refrigerator for up to a month.) Then one had to clean and trim the spinach (trimming being another cooking technique that had to be learned). Then one had to blanch the spinach in boiling water, shock it in a colander under cold running water, arrange the bunch of spinach in a row, and squeeze the spinach of excess water. Then one had to marinate the chashu in soy sauce marinade for twenty minutes. Then one had to slice the chashu - slicing being another cooking technique that had to be learned. Then one had to cook the noodles for the ramen and strain them.

Finally, you put it all together: the tare, then the soup, then the noodles, then the chashu, then the eggs, then some menma, then the spinach, then some nori, then some scallions.

It took some time for them to perfect this dish, simply because of timing. You had to countdown each preparatory step in your head, calculate how long it would take, and do the preparatory steps in the correct order. For example, since it had to marinate for twenty minutes, did one start the chashu first? Or would the other steps take longer than twenty minutes? If so, when did one start the chashu? Sometimes, Anko stepped back and let them figure it out.

After they mastered shoyu ramen, they went on to miso ramen and shio ramen. Miso ramen included Sendai miso, ground pork, sesame oil, cabbage, and bean sprouts, and there was no soy sauce anywhere in it except in the marinated eggs. Shio ramen included sea salt and nori.

Then came tan tan men - inspired by spicy Sichuanese dan dan noodles, infused with sesame paste, ginger, and garlic - and champon - a mix of extra-thick noodles, seafood, pork, and vegetables in a milky soup. They learned lots of new things with the champon - how to peel and slice garlic, how to clean and slice squid ("Ew," said Sakura, wincing and turning her face away a bit, as they cut the slimy squid), how to cut scallops and peel shrimp, how to peel and slice carrots and onions, and how to remove the stems of and slice shiitake mushrooms. Next came summertime ramen - hiyashi chukka - which was a cold ramen dish, rather like a noodle salad, mixed with garnishes, cucumbers, and an omelette, and drizzled with a soy sauce-vinegar dressing. For the hiyashi chukka, of course, they learned how to make omelettes.

They learned how to peel and devein shrimp and make shrimp wonton dumplings for shrimp wonton men, and then they were on to the next cooking section.

* * *

"Section two is gyoza," said Anko. "Gyoza are crescent-shaped dumplings, usually filled with ground pork, cabbage, garlic, and garlic chives, and typically cooked _gyoza yaki_ , a frying-and-steaming technique that fries the dumpling on one side and steams it on the other. Gyoza are usually dipped into a sauce of soy sauce, rice vinegar, and something spicy called _rayu_ , or flavored chili oil.

"So let's get to cooking."

* * *

They started out with classic pork gyoza.

First, one had to make the filling - adding cabbage and salt into a bowl and mixing it all together. Then they had to transfer the cabbage to a large cheesecloth and wring out the water - another technique for them to try. It was around this time that Hinata privately had the snobbish and trademark Hyuuga thought that cooking was very _base_ , as she wrung the cabbage water out of the cheesecloth by hand.

Then one added the wrung-out salted cabbage, green garlic chives, garlic, ginger, ground pork, soy sauce, sesame oil, black pepper, more salt, potato starch, and, of all things, sugar, into a large bowl, and (again in a very base way) one used one's hands to mix all the ingredients together.

Next, one made the dumplings. First, they lightly dusted a tray with potato starch. Then one took out a gyoza skin - the skins were sold with one side floured, so one placed the gyoza skin in the palm of one's hand flour-side down. One dipped one's finger into a mixture of potato starch and warm water and wet the entire edge of the skin. Then one added about one tablespoon of filling to the center of the skin. Then one used their index fingers and thumbs to fold the skin and pinch it together, the water-and-starch mixture being the "glue" that held the gyoza together.

And finally, there was the dipping sauce to prepare. Soy sauce, vinegar, and rayu were needed, so they had a brief aside lesson on making dipping sauces - neither miso dipping sauce nor homemade rayu were particularly complicated, after everything they had done so far, though the amount of red pepper in the rayu was a little unbelievable even to amateur chefs. They tried it and just a taste made their eyes water. Ino made sure to make lots of rayu for her recipe; Sakura, on the other hand, was purposefully sparing with the spices.

To cook the gyoza, they set them seam-side up in a pan, fried them for about ten seconds, and then quickly poured water over the gyoza and covered the skillet tightly. The gyoza were cooked that way at high heat for about four minutes, then uncovered and cooked for another minute. After a bit more cooking, the gyoza were taken off.

"Sensei," said Hinata, "for most of this food, I've noticed there's a lot of preparation and very little cooking. Is that true for all soul foods?"

"Soul food is usually a bitch to prepare, but not hard to cook," Anko agreed.

Next they made shrimp shiso gyoza, which was a variation on classic gyoza with the shiso herb and shrimp instead of pork. Then came soup gyoza with chicken, in which the dumplings were poached in a soup and then picked straight out of the soup and eaten that way. And Anko taught them vegetarian gyoza, which carried spinach, tofu, shiitake mushrooms, garlic, ginger, miso, and pine nuts, in place of the meat filling.

* * *

Section three was curry.

"When curry was first introduced by overseas ships to the Elemental Nations, it was a kind of spicy soup meant to be sopped up with bread," said Anko. "We improved it in a few ways. First, by thickening it so that it went better with rice. Then by adding a bunch of familiar beefs and root vegetables.

"There are always carrots, onions, and potatoes in our curry, first off, but apples and sometimes other fruits are added to make the curry sweeter. It's not as hot, it's always eaten with rice, and it's always eaten with a foreign-style spoon.

"The classic curry is made with beef, but it's also sometimes made with pork, chicken, lamb, fish, vegetables… you name it. Curry is the ultimately customizable dish. Go to a hundred households, find a hundred different styles of curry. I've heard of horse meat curry, squid ink curry, and oyster curry."

Anko laughed at Sakura's disgusted face. "Don't worry, Sakura, you don't have to make squid ink curry to pass," she said. "Let me show you what I had in mind for our curry section."

* * *

Anko taught them classic, retro curry, deciding to play it safe. This was curry old-school style, with root vegetables, apple, and beef. It was thickened using roux, spiced with curry powder, and it was fairly easy - the only new technique they had to learn by now was how to mix the curry, scraping it constantly from the bottom of the pot. (Anko also, of course, taught them how to steam rice and make salads, to go with the curry.)

Classic curry could also be improved on once they had the basics down. For example, chicken, pork, or seafood could be used instead of beef, and celery, eggplant, green pepper, daikon, broccoli, spinach, or tomato could be used in place of onions, carrots, apple, and potato. Hinata added extra vegetables in her personalized curry, while Ino used chicken or pork in place of beef and threw in some onions to brown for hers. Sakura added honey and mango to sweeten her curry further, and dialed down a bit on the spice, on recommendation from Anko.

Once they had down basic curry and their own personalized curry, Anko taught them military style curry, which included cheese, honey, ketchup, and a hint of a strong overseas drink called coffee. Then came lamb curry, in which there was no roux - instead, one slow-cooked onions to thicken the curry. The onion flavor went nicely with the lamb. Wine, tomato, ginger, thyme, and other flavorings (including brown sugar) were also added to the lamb curry.

Seafood curry was next on Anko's list, mixed with classic seasonings like dashi, soy sauce, sake, and mirin, thickened with potato starch, and served over udon noodles. Miso curry came after that, as did a soupy, medicinal curry mixed with spices and herbs, loaded with veggies like zucchini and with chicken.

* * *

Section four was tonkatsu.

"Tonkatsu is pork fillets covered with breadcrumbs and dunked in bubbling hot oil until browned," said Anko. "Basically, it's pork dipped in batter and deep-fried just like classic tempura. Only instead of tempura batter, one uses crunchy panko breadcrumbs. It's a relatively recent invention, and it's your next set of meals."

* * *

First, they had to learn to make a couple of sauces - like homemade tonkatsu sauce (apples, tomatoes, onion, garlic, sake, salt, sugar, soy sauce, vinegar, tomato paste, kombu, bay leaf, cayenne and white pepper, cinnamon and nutmeg, allspice, Worcestershire sauce) and miso tonkatsu sauce (sake, mirin, sugar, miso, and toasted sesame).

And then, at last, they came to classic tonkatsu.

To bread the tonkatsu, they dipped the pork in flour and egg twice, not once - an Anko Special Secret - then laid the fillets on the crunchy panko breadcrumbs. They cooked the tonkatsu in the oil, slicing it up into strips afterward. The tonkatsu was served with tonkatsu sauce on top.

They learned how to use a candy thermometer during the deep-frying. They also learned how to slice and core cabbage, because tonkatsu was served resting against a mound of shredded cabbage, with the tonkatsu sauce on top, and karashi mustard on the side, along with steamed rice.

Next, they made rolled katsu with _yuzu kosho_. The pork was first slathered in yuzu kosho for this recipe, which was a condiment made from cured yuzu citrus peel, chilies, and salt. This kind of tonkatsu was not served with tonkatsu sauce - after the yuzu kosho, it didn't need it. It was called "rolled katsu" because each pork strip was rolled so that it looked like a log with the yuzu kosho inside. _Then_ the katsu was dipped in egg and flour.

Waraji katsu came next, a paper-thin kind of tonkatsu usually served to students. To make the meat paper-thin, they had to pound it, so there was another technique to add to their growing list. Then there was menchi katsu, made with inexpensive ground beef instead of pork, a nice cheap meal for around the home when money was tight.

And with that, they were done with the tonkatsu section.

"Four down," said Anko. "Nine to go."


	9. Chapter 9

_Author's Notes:_ If you want a look at the recipes I describe here - I was very careful never to copy down a recipe word for word, you probably can't make any of these recipes yourselves just from my descriptions - check out this cookbook: _Japanese Soul Cooking: Ramen, Tonkatsu, Tempura, and More From the Streets and Kitchens of Tokyo and Beyond_ by Tadashi Ono and Harris Saint.

Just a short little chappie finishing up cooking training. :)

* * *

9.

"Your next section is furai and korokke," said Anko. "Furai was also developed relatively recently, and it also uses pachinko breadcrumbs and is served with cabbage. But this time, what's being coated with breadcrumbs is seafood and vegetables. The dish is served with tangy tartar sauce, and is also paired with salads. I will teach you how to make both tartar sauce and one of my favorite salad recipes.

"Korokke is chopped up meat, vegetables, or seafood, formed into a log or patty, coated with breadcrumbs, and deep-fried until golden brown. Korokke can be eaten traditionally, with thinly sliced cabbage and sauce, or it can be eaten between two pieces of bread like a sandwich.

"And so, we begin."

* * *

Iwashi furai was their first recipe on the list. It was fresh sardines, deep-fried and coated with breadcrumbs.

The first technique they learned was how to remove the spines of sardines with their fingers. First, the sardines were rinsed and blot dry with paper towels. Then one placed their index finger inside the cavity of the sardine and ran it along the spine, pressing on the spine to separate it from the flesh. The spine was removed; the sardine was spread open to butterfly it, placed on a plate lined with paper towels, and lightly seasoned with salt and pepper.

Other than that, making furai was much like making tonkatsu. They did, however, learn to make both tartar sauce - onion, mayonnaise, egg, salt, pepper, finely chopped pickles, finely chopped capers, parsley, and lemon juice - and tomato salad. Anko's tomato salad included onion, grated ginger, toasted sesame oil, soy sauce, vinegar, sugar, salt, black pepper, and one pound of sliced beefsteak tomatoes.

Next they made kaki furai - with deep fried oysters instead of deep fried sardines - in which they had to prepare the oysters by gently mixing them with salt and rinsing them with cold water, carefully boiling water over the oysters and then waiting ten seconds, straining the oysters with a colander and allowing them to come to room temperature, and then carefully transferring them to a towel-lined plate and blotting them dry. They also broke their first few oysters, and so had to learn to handle them very gently.

Then came ebi furai, which was fried shrimp.

For korokke, they had a trio of recipes.

First was potato korokke: potatoes, meat, and cream, formed into a patty and deep-fried. One had to cook the potatoes dry for this recipe, so that they didn't add moisture to the korokke, which would cause it to fall apart while frying. So they dry roasted them in the oven instead. Besides the potato, there was onions, ground beef or pork, butter and soy sauce, salt and pepper, and heavy cream. In this recipe, it was all mashed together and then made into patties.

Then there was curry rice korokke, in which rice and curry powder bound the patties together, instead of potatoes or cream. And there was hani cream korokke, in which crab was combined with bechamel sauce and formed into cute little logs for deep frying.

* * *

"Kara-age is next on your list," said Anko. "It's a simple deep frying method in which you drench seasoned ingredients in flour or potato starch and then toss them into bubbling oil. It's a home cooking standard, and is also a finger food good for parties and picnics. It's also good for bento box lunches, or between pieces of bread on a sandwich."

* * *

First they came to tatsuta-age, marinated chicken that was then coated in potato starch and fried. Tatsuta-age chicken was usually cooked dark meat, with the skin on, boneless. Anko also recommended deep frying the chicken in sesame oil. The chicken marinade had garlic, salt, ginger, sake, soy sauce, and mirin. Lemon juice was squeezed on the chicken at the end for taste.

Ikage-age was next, deep fried squid. Anko recommended adding yuzu kosho to taste. Then came nagoya tebasaki, chicken wings deep fried and then marinated. Fish kara-age was pretty self-explanatory - a fish fried whole, and Anko gave them the choice of using either sea bass, red snapper, flounder, striped bass, or a small grouper. The trick for this dish was making cuts in the fish's body beforehand, so the flesh could easily be picked off with chopsticks. According to Anko, the cuts were to be made at an angle, which helped heat move through the flesh so the fish cooked more evenly - this technique took some finagling to get just right. They also learned for this dish to make a fast version of momiji oroshi, which was a condiment traditionally made from daikon and chilies, but which they made using daikon and red yuzu kosho, added to ponzu sauce.

They also learned to make ponzu sauce separately, a citrusy, vinegary dipping sauce whose ingredients included kombu, bonito flakes, rice vinegar, citrus juice, soy sauce, mirin, and sake.

* * *

"And at last, we get to the famous tempura," sighed Anko. "Tempura was brought over by overseas traders centuries ago, and modified here in the Elemental Nations. It's typically prepared with vegetables and seafood, though sweets are also sometimes fried tempura-style - I like to call that Heart Attack Cooking. Anyway, the ingredients are dipped in flour, water, and egg yolk, then deep fried in vegetable oil.

"In theory, this sounds pretty simple, but of course technique is crucial. How you dip the ingredients, how you mix the the batter, and how you deep fry makes all the difference. I will teach you everything you need to know about tempura, and about its accompaniments - usually either ten tsuyu sauce, which I'll teach you, sea salt, or sea salt mixed with powdered matcha green tea.

"Pro tip: tempura for breakfast with hot cooked soba noodles is delicious."

* * *

So first, Anko took them through the batter: egg yolks, cold water, and ice cubes made up the first part, flour made up the second, and the two were mashed together in a certain technique with chopsticks. This part was difficult at first - Anko expected nothing less than perfection.

Then came ten tsuyu dipping sauce, made with dashi, soy sauce, mirin, daikon, and peeled ginger, heated up.

And then they got the tempura. They went through vegetable tempura first, and that took a long time. Oil temperature had to be exactly right, and it took them some time to figure out just what "exactly right" was. But once they had that down, they mastered vegetable tempura and moved on to shrimp tempura, lemon sole (a kind of fish) tempura (the lemon sole could be substituted by flounder, cod, scrod, sea bass, snapper, tiny smelt, scallops, sea eel, or squid), and shrimp-shiitake kaki-age.

Kaki-age were tempura fritters, often served with hot soba or udon noodles, or sometimes over a steaming bowl of rice, with the kaki-age first dipped into tempura dipping sauce. For their kaki-age, they used shrimp and shiitake mushrooms, mixed together with scallions and shiso herbs and then poured over with batter, formed into patties, and cooked in the oil. Other variations on kaki-age included onion, burdock, and asparagus.

* * *

"And now we come to okonomiyaki," said Anko. "Okonomiyaki is a kind of pancake, griddled with everything from cabbage, pork, and ramen noodles to fried eggs and shaved bonito. Whatever you like is cooked on top of the pancake. It's cheap to make, and toppings include a thickened, sweetened Worcestershire sauce called Otofuku, bright green aonori powdered seaweed, mayonnaise, and dried shaved bonito."

* * *

Anko taught them traditional okonomiyaki first. In traditional, the ingredients were simply mixed together and griddled. Cabbage was the mainstay, and there was usually pork. This kind of okonomiyaki could also be cooked with octopus, shrimp, squid, sliced chicken, veggies, scallions, and kimchee. They could mix and match as much as they pleased. So there was another skill to add to the list - griddling pancakes.

Next, they tried okonomiyaki that was more of a layered dish. It included a mound of wheat noodles and fried eggs, and a still bigger pile of cabbage. It was very big, and one pancake was cooked at a time. The layers and the sheer amount of ingredients made things harder - it took some time to get this dish down to perfection.

"Here, you're practicing learning technique and getting it down to perfection," Anko commented. "Also an essential mindset for a ninja."

Then there came takoyaki, little balls of batter filled with pieces of tasty octopus and griddled. They were put in a pile, topped with the usual ingredients, and eaten by the moundful. Toothpicks were used to spear the takoyaki balls. A type of grated yam called yamaimo was also used in takoyaki, so here they learned to grate vegetables.

And finally, there was yakisoba, fried noodles usually served as a side to okonomiyaki. Steamed thick cooked noodles were fried, basically. Anko's secret to yakisoba was was stir-frying the noodles and other ingredients with Worcestershire sauce and okonomiyaki sauce.

* * *

"Donburi is your next section. It is the ultimate dish for busy people," said Anko. "It's cooked, cured, or raw ingredients piled on top of a big bowl of rice, typically served with miso soup and lightly cured pickles on the side.

"Donburi was at first dismissed as 'dog food', because in traditional cooking - including tea ceremony cooking - everything has to have its own bowl. But donburi is fast, it's easy, and it's only one-bowl-per-head cleanup. So it soon gained traction."

* * *

So they learned how to make miso soup and cure food. Then they got to the actual donburi dishes.

First, they learned the classic oyakodon. Chicken and onions were simmered in seasonings, then eggs prepared in two layers were added. First, scrambled eggs were set over the chicken. Then, runny eggs were set over the scrambled ones. Then the whole thing was slid on top of a steaming bowl of rice - it took them some trying to get the sliding technique just right.

Gyudon was beef and onions seasoned together instead - no egg, but with a bit of red pickled ginger on the side. (So they learned how to pickle foods, using ginger.) Katsudon was classic oyakudon made with tonkatsu instead of chicken. Tendon was tempura and donburi. Tekka don was tuna marinated in wasabi-infused seasonings, layered over rice and garnished with scallion and shiso herbs. Hokkai-don was seafood over rice. Tenshin don was crab meat, shiitake mushrooms, bamboo shoots, ginger, and scallions all cooked together, then mixed with eggs to form an omelette slid over rice. In chuka don, a bunch of ingredients were cooked together including pork belly, quail eggs, nappa cabbage, mushrooms, and snow peas. In mabo don, tofu and ground pork or beef, garnished with coarsely chopped cilantro leaves and a sprinkling of a kind of pepper called sansho. (So they added chopping to their list of skills.)

* * *

"Section ten is soba," said Anko. "Soba noodles can be served hot or cold, in a broth or with dipping sauce, and as I've said before they're often paired with tempura. They are eaten on New Year as a symbol of good luck."

* * *

First they learned kaeshi, the flavoring base used to make both soba dipping sauce and soba broth. It was a simple recipe, made with soy sauce, mirin, and sugar.

Then they got to the soba.

Mori soba was first - Anko chose this one for their first soba lesson because it was nothing but cold soba, dipping sauce, and garnishes. So mistakes were very easy to detect. "You know someone is good at making soba when they can make mori soba," she said firmly. The dipping sauce was made of dashi and kaeshi - it needed to be prepared and cooled beforehand. After mori soba, they tested themselves on more cooled sobas like zaru soba and zaru soba with tempura.

Kake soba was soba noodles served in hot broth (broth made of dashi, kaeshi, and mirin). Kamo nanban soba was soba noodles served in hot broth with slices of duck breast, accented with wasabi, the duck breast tender and rare. (So here they learned how to cook various meats from rare to medium and beyond.) The scallion in this dish was sauteed in duck fat, an Anko trick - and thus they learned how to saute.

* * *

"We're almost done. Udon is your eleventh section," said Anko. "Udon are also noodles - thick, chewy noodles. There are different recipes depending on which season it is, and I'll give you recipes for all four. For all recipes, we're going to stick to traditional Sanuki udon - fat, extra thick, extra chewy noodles."

* * *

First, they learned udon tsuyu - a special udon broth that called for usukuchi soy sauce, a lighter, saltier variety of regular soy sauce.

Then they started with kitsune udon. Abura-age, deep-fried slices of tofu, were sweetened with a sweet-savory sauce and floated over udon and broth. "This recipe," said Anko, "is great for kids. It's a children's favorite, and you'll probably remember it from your own childhood."

Next they learned niku udon - marinated and then caramelized shaved beef was put atop noodles and broth along with sharp slices of scallion - and miso nikomi udon - udon simmered with pork, eggs, and mushrooms in a miso broth with kamaboko (a steamed fish cake). "This one," said Anko of the second one, "is an excellent hearty meal for a very cold day." For miso nikomi udon, they learned how to use a hot pot. Nabeyaki udon was also for cold days, and also used a hot pot, and it consisted of broth, chicken, abura-age, spinach, veggies, and of course the udon.

Udon-suki was a bit like sukiyaki, so Anko taught them both recipes: the sukiyaki (which was a hot pot made with shaved beef and vegetables) and the udon-suki (which was a hot pot made with udon, seafood, and chicken, simmered in umami seasoning sauce). Curry udon was udon drenched in curry with pork and onions, using soba broth instead of udon broth to stand up to the flavor of the curry. Yaki udon was stir-fried udon noodles prepared in seasonings, along with pork, cabbage, onions, and mushrooms, simmered in a skillet, topped with bonito flakes. Cold udon with fresh tomatoes was basically a cold noodle salad, good for summer, with fresh tomatoes, shiso, olive oil, and soy sauce.

* * *

"Next we come to itame and chahan," said Anko. "Itame are dishes that are stir-fried or sauteed. Chahan is a different kind of stir fry - in this case, fried rice."

* * *

They did itame first: saikoro steak (cubed medium-rare steak stir-fried in butter with garlic and scallions, flavored with soy sauce), ebi chili (shrimp stir-fried with chili in a wok or skillet), reba nira (stir-fry of chicken livers and garlic chives), ton shoga-yaki (stir-fried pork with ginger), mottsu miso itame (offal cooked with miso in a stew), bulgogi (meat and vegetables marinated in soy sauce, sesame oil, sake, mirin, and garlic, and then stir-fried), and genghis khan (mutton and lamb stir-fried with apple).

Then they did chahan: classic pork chahan (fried rice cooked with pork), kani ankake (fried rice cooked with eggs and scallions; then came the ankake, a sauce thickened with potato starch, in this case made with ginger-infused crab meat), chicken curry chahan (a "dry curry" fried rice, melding with bits of chicken and root vegetables), and ebi pilaf (a pilaf made with cooked rice, that Anko said worked great as a side dish).

* * *

"Last but not least, we have yoshoku," said Anko. "Western, overseas dishes transformed into contemporary specials, all served with rice."

* * *

First, they learned how to make white sauce, stirring together butter, flour, and milk. Then they used that as the jumping-off point to make ebi gratin (macaroni, cheese, white sauce, and shrimp), and doria (chicken cubes, veggies, cheese, rice, white sauce).

They also learned how to make potato salad in this section (cucumber was included), and macaroni salad (cucumber and carrot were included), and lettuce with ginger-carrot dressing (rice vinegar and soy sauce were included). All were good sides to yoshoku dishes.

Then they made omu rice (an omelette stuffed with fried rice, cooked with chicken, and flavored with ketchup), yoshoku steak (topped with caramelized rice vinegar onions), hamburg (a burger patty made with panko crumbs - among other ingredients - served on a plate, sans bun, with a tangy ketchup-based sauce), pork saute (pork loin fillets with sake, soy sauce, and butter - under Anko's rule that "anything is good made with soy sauce and butter"), and wafu pasta (local variations on Western-based pasta dishes - including one made with mentaiko, one made with miso meat sauce, one made with sea urchin, one made with clams, one made with shiso, and one made with mushroom).

* * *

"You all have officially passed the cooking portion of being a kunoichi," said Anko, standing before them at the end. "You are now - officially - good cooks. This will be a useful life skill, especially if you're going to end up a wife and mother. I'm probably never going to be a mother, out of personal choice, so it's nice to know I've passed all my recipes on to three other people who might be.

"In other words, I expect to be a grandmother, you little assholes."

Sakura, Hinata, and Ino smiled.


	10. Chapter 10

_Author's Note:_ If you're interested in color theory, check out _Color Me Beautiful_ by Carole Jackson. It's an oldie but goodie. As per usual, I did not copy down everything from her book into this one chapter, so if you want more, buy the book.

All the stuff about face and body shape, you can just learn from a basic Google search on the Internet. I don't really know if I have anyone in particular to credit for that part.

I hope you all like the girls' new looks! ;) I wanted them to be original characters with their own appearances.

* * *

10.

"Okay, kiddies, listen up!" Anko clapped her hands together outside in the training field. "Part of being a seductive kunoichi is learning how to look nice - how to dress nice, in the right colors, with clothes that suit your body type. How to wear your hair in a way that sets off your face nicely. In other words, there _is_ a girly element to being a kunoichi. Every girl can look better, and learn to look her best, with the proper training. In other words, to sexually seduce someone, you've got to _feel_ sexy. _Look_ sexy.

"But for kunoichi, there is a twist. In day to day life, you can't afford to go around in high heels and heavy makeup with long loose hair, wearing perfume and long flowy dresses. It's just not practical. Heels will make it harder for you to run, you'll sweat off the perfume and makeup, long loose hair could be grabbed and captured by the enemy, and kunoichi dresses were invented so kunoichi could look cute yet be practical. They're short, tight, and sweet, with plenty of room to spread your legs and economical sleeves that won't get caught on surrounding underbrush.

"In other words, this section," and here Anko smiled, "will be about _fashion_."

For the first time, the girls brightened in excitement.

* * *

"What we're really going to be focusing on is coloring," said Anko, the girls taking notes around her. "Usually in formal seduction situations, you'll be wearing kimono, so wearing colors that really make you pop and shine is what's most important. Everything else comes secondarily."

"Sensei," said Sakura curiously, "you're saying there's a way to tell beforehand what colors you'll look good in and what colors you'll look bad in?"

"It would be more accurate to say what shades you'll look good in and what shades you'll look bad in. It sounds weird, but almost every color can look good on every person - provided it's in the right shade. And yes, there is a way to tell. It all depends on your skin complexion and hair and eye coloring. Skin tone is what's most important, though. Certain color shades look best with your unique skin tone and certain color shades don't.

"What we are going to be doing is analyzing the coloring of each of you, giving you a packet of fabric swatches in your color palette for reference material, and teaching you how to use them as a guide, not just for how to choose kimono, but for how to choose kunoichi outfits as well. We'll spend one session on makeup (which, if used sparingly, doesn't have to ruin your appearance as a kunoichi), another on hair (in case you ever decide to dye), one on personality and style, and one on wardrobe planning.

"For the sake of ease, skin tones can be separated into four distinct categories. We liken them to the four seasons. Autumn, Spring, Winter, and Summer. Each season has its own unique color shades and swatches."

"Sensei," said Ino, raising her hand, "don't we… already kind of know what colors we look good in? I mean, you go to a store, you try on a dress, you think, 'Wow, that looks hideous on me,' and you put the dress back. It's not that complicated."

"It's true that we are naturally inclined toward certain colors from a very young age," agreed Anko, nodding. "Think of a daughter who always wants to wear black and a mother who always wants to wear pink. They get frustrated with each other, but each is going toward the color that best suits them. However, as we get older, we tend to lose some of our color sense. We're bombarded with messages from society, the media, the people around us, and sometimes we have to relearn color sense, so to speak. Learn lessons that take us back to our roots.

"The results can be remarkable. When you start wearing the colors that suit you, so color theory goes, it's not your clothes that start getting compliments - it's _you_. Colors are meant to complement you and make you look better, not the other way around.

"So with that said, let's test you each for your season."

* * *

"The first step in deciding your color season is to select colors you've noticed you look best in throughout your life. The second step is to evaluate your coloring - your hair, skin, and eyes. These two steps will tell you your season.

"So, first, look over this list. Select, not which colors are the latest fad, but which colors look best on you. They're categorized by season. Here, you intuitively choose your season - it's all instinct."

The girls crowded around the list and squinted, looking discerningly down the four categories, each list topped with a label underlined in pencil: Winter, Summer, Autumn, Spring.

Ino was first. "... Summer," she said at last. "Soft blue, rose brown, navy, rose pink, lavender, and plum."

Hinata nodded firmly to her choice. "Winter," she said. "Navy, black, white, red, shocking pink, and gray."

Sakura was last to choose, careful, wanting to make the best choice possible. "Spring," she finally decided. "Golden brown, camel, peachy pink, peach, bright blue, and golden yellow."

"Okay," said Anko, nodding, revealing nothing. "You're all in daylight, so you each take a mirror and analyze yourself carefully. Look at your skin, hair, and eyes. None of you are wearing makeup or have dyed hair, so that's good.

"What is the undertone to your skin? Is it cool, with blue undertones, or warm, with golden undertones?"

After some analysis, Hinata and Ino both said cool, while Sakura said warm.

"That fits," continued Anko, "because Summers and Winters have cool undertones, while Springs and Autumns have warm undertones. As a matter of fact, I think you made the right choices.

"Let's look at Winter first. Hinata has very white skin, blue-black hair, and grey-blue eyes. Emphasis on the grey with the blue making it look slightly violet, as she is a Hyuuga and that is part of her bloodline.

"Ino is a Summer. She has rosy beige skin, platinum blonde hair, and pale, clear aqua blue eyes. There is a lovely contrast here between her light hair and eyes, and darker skin tone.

"Sakura is a Spring. She has ivory skin with a light dusting of pale golden freckles, green eyes with gold flecks, and she's a strawberry blonde - emphasis on the strawberry which makes her hair look pink, probably a genetic feature. That is what we call a chakra mutation that is not part of a bloodline ability.

"None of these looks are better or worse than any of the others. They are all lovely in their own way. Notice I used positive words to describe each type of coloring. Embrace your coloring.

"Now comes the more complicated part. Your coloring choices also have to match with your personality. Take a dainty, quiet little older woman who decides to sport bright, wild animal prints. It clashes, it seems off, and it's not necessary. For kunoichi, remember, it's also important to wear mutated shades anyway - for stealth purposes, to blend in with your surroundings.

"So, just keep in mind, take your best shades and use them to their best effect, to put yourself and your goals across. Hinata probably wouldn't wear shocking pink, for example, even though it would look good on her. And that's okay. Take your pick from your color swatches, and use them to put across you. Now, here are your color swatches. I'm going to give one set to each of you.

"Hinata, your Winter shades: pure white, grey-beige (taupe), icy taupe, true grays (from icy to charcoal), black, navy, true blue, royal blue, icy blue, hot turquoise, Chinese blue, icy aqua, light true green, true green, emerald green, icy green, shocking pink, deep hot pink, magenta, fuchsia, icy pink, true red, blue reds, bright burgundy, clear lemon yellow, icy yellow, royal purple, and icy violet.

"Ino, your Summer shades: soft white, rose beiges, light to medium blue greys, rose browns, cocoa, greyed navy, grey blue (including denim), sky blue, periwinkle blue, powder to medium blue, pastel aqua, blue greens (pastel to deep), all pastel pinks, deep rose, blue pinks, watermelon, blue reds, raspberry, burgundy (including maroons and cordovans), light lemon yellow, plum, soft fuchsia, mauve, orchid, and lavender.

"Sakura, your Spring shades: ivory, clear beiges, creamy beiges (including camel), warm yellow grays (light to medium), golden browns, clear tans, light clear navy, light royal blue, periwinkle blues (light to dark), medium warm turquoise, clear aquas, clear yellow greens (pastel to bright), light oranges, apricot, peach, salmon, all corals, light rust, all peachy yellow pinks, clear red, orange reds, clear gold, bright golden yellow, medium violet, and blue violet.

"You can wear as bright colors as you want during infiltration missions while you're wearing kimono, but once more, for kunoichi dresses out in the field, choose muted colors that will help you use stealth and blend in with your surroundings."

* * *

"Now we get to makeup. As I said, when you're a ninja, makeup should be used sparingly. But a little bit can add a lot when you need that extra oomph. That emphasis, so to speak.

"We look at foundation first. Hinata, for example, has white skin devoid of any pink tones to the face. She needs to be especially careful to find a beige foundation with a rose undertone. Otherwise she may end up looking sallow.

"Ino is a Summer with a ruddy complexion, which means she should never use a yellow-base foundation in order to tone down her high coloring."

"I shouldn't?" Ino said in confusion.

"No. Yellow will detract from your natural skin tone. Instead use a foundation that has no noticeable pink in it but is derived from a rose base. That will tone down your ruddiness without detracting from your natural skin tone.

"Now, Springs such as Sakura most often wear light to dark peach foundation. Ivory may also work with Sakura's skin tone. She should avoid blue pinks.

"Next comes blush. Winters and Summers should wear blushers in the rose family, from blue pink to burgundy. Hinata would also look good in clear red. Springs must stay delicate and wear clear peach, coral, and warm pink, avoiding blue pinks.

"With lipstick, it gets complicated.

"Winters should own two tubes of lipstick, one to wear with the true red of her palette and the other for the rest of her clothes. Winter is best in pinks, plums, burgundies, blue reds, and clear reds, avoiding orange or yellow undertones. Always go for clear, rather than muted, colors.

"Summer needs a softer lipstick than her Winter counterpart. Her pinks, while blue, will be best in light shades. She may also wear burgundy and plum tones and, if necessary, cheat into a warm pink to avoid becoming too blue. The brownish pinks and plums are okay if they are not too dark.

"Spring may wear peach, warm pink, or coral. The pink should not be blue, and all of Spring's lipstick tones should be clear and not too dark. Also, no brown lipstick.

"Eye makeup, I'm not going to get into. That's a little much for a kunoichi. A single coat of lipstick, and some light foundation and blush, are all you really need. The foundation and blush make your skin look better, while the lipstick puts focus on your mouth - the most erotic part of a woman's face. Eyes are naturally catching, and eye makeup comes with all sorts of inconveniences - it's easy to sweat, water, or cry off, for example."

* * *

"Next, we go to hair coloring. The easiest way to deal with hair coloring is just to leave your hair the way nature made it, but here are some tips if you want to fiddle with your hair.

"A quick beginning rule: Summers and Winters should always look for ash tones in hair color. Autumns and Springs should look for gold and red undertones.

"Winter for Hinata: Winters should never frost their hair, bleach their hair blonde, or add red. Use natural or black henna, but never red. Totally white hair can also look good on Winters. No highlighting, painting, or frosting. Basically, except for if you're making your hair totally black or white, leave your hair alone. Nature made it that way for a reason.

"Frosting, on the other hand, can be very good for Summers like Ino. Soft, usually warm ash tones should be coveted, while all flaxen, golden, honey, or red tones should be avoided, including henna.

"Springs, on the other hand, should never use ash-based colorings. Flaxen, auburn, and gold colors are the way to go. Stay away from frosting, though painting and highlights can look nice.

"Now, last but not least, I'm going to give you each a chart for everyday, non-kunoichi wear. It will give you each a list of neutrals and basic colors for your season, because we all need those in our day to day lives."

* * *

"So we've covered color," said Anko at the end of it all, "and that's the most important part for a kunoichi. But what else?

"There are two other elements to fashion that I want to talk to you briefly about: face shape and body type. These are less important for traditional wear like buns and kimono, but very important for everyday and kunoichi wear in which you have more control over your hairstyle and outfit.

"Face shape is important for hair style. Picking a hairstyle that complements your face shape is important, but for kunoichi there's another catch: finding a hairstyle that will look good and also not get in your way is equally important.

"I'll take you over the basics briefly: Hinata has a round face. It's circularly shaped and length is approximately equal to width. Hinata's struggle is to find a hairstyle that doesn't make her face look like a circle.

"Ino has an oval face. It's curvilinear, and length is approximately equal to one and a half times width. The forehead and jaw are the same width. She has to make sure her hairstyles don't make her face look too long.

"Sakura has a heart shaped face. It's wide at the forehead and cheekbones, but narrow at the jawline. She has to either make her jawline look fuller, her forehead line look narrower, or some combination of both.

"Starting to get it? It's the same for body type.

"Hinata is an hourglass, which means her body is made of two opposing triangles, facing inward - her hips and bust are larger than her waist. Her job is to emphasize her smaller waist and larger curves.

"Ino's body is pear shaped, which means her hips are greater than her bust. Her job is to put more emphasis on her bust and less on her hips.

"Sakura has a rectangle shaped body, which means things are more or less uniform up and down - waist, hips, and bust are all of similar size. Her job is to either hide this in some way or make the illusion of curves.

"And that's all I have for you for note taking. Now comes the fun part - we go shopping and get you each a new look."

* * *

And Anko-sensei really did take them shopping. She let them flip through magazines, try on different things in dressing rooms and model them for everybody.

"Sensei," said Ino once, "we're all watching each other try these things on. Is there a way you can teach us to say if something looks good or bad without seeming…?"

"Rude?" Hinata added helpfully.

Sakura looked up curiously, quiet and thoughtful.

"Either say, 'That looks really good on you!' or 'Try looking for clothes with these things.' Never insult the way the person looks. Insult the clothes for what they don't have that the person needs," said Anko.

So shopping for new attire really did turn into a sort of mutually supportive little group effort. The girls would cheer each other over good finds and help each other look for new appearances.

Kakashi came along and mostly just stood around watching things awkwardly. Anko came over to stand next to him while the girls were giggling and shrieking, looking over a magazine together.

"Why are they screaming?" said Kakashi. "Is shopping painful?" He was only half kidding.

"I think they're looking at that particular magazine more for the hot guys than for good haircuts," said Anko dryly.

"Ah," said Kakashi, pleasantly bewildered, his eye crinkling in a smile.

"They're coming along nicely as maturing young kunoichi," said Anko. "Don't tell them I said that. But it's nice to know they can still be childish sometimes. I think everyone needs that."

"I… never really had a childhood, so I wouldn't have thought of it that way. But that's why I have you," said Kakashi. His eyes gentled.

He pulled his mask down and they shared a quick, quiet kiss - breaking apart and smiling when Sakura, Ino, and Hinata started 'oohing' and squealing in delight.

* * *

At the end of it all, Sakura, Hinata, and Ino each had several new outfits, one new kimono each, and a set of new kunoichi outfits courtesy of Anko. They also all had new hair, and a light, non-invasive coating of makeup (foundation, blush, and lipstick).

Hinata took a risk, feeling brave and into new things, and she chose an icy grey kunoichi wrap dress with a V neckline. She had grown out her hair by this point, so that it was long - the only reason she'd had it short in the first place was because she'd heard Naruto liked girls with short hair - and she tied it back with a loose half ponytail with a center part so that her long bangs could shape her face and make it seem longer.

Conversely, Sakura and Ino, who'd worn their hair long because they'd heard Sasuke liked girls with long hair, cut most of their hair off that day.

Ino chose a rose brown strapless kunoichi dress, the strapless quality emphasizing her smaller bust line and pairing nicely with her light hair-blue eyes-dark tan skin sort of appearance. She had a simple haircut that was somewhere between shoulder length and chin length, which was economical, too short to get in the way, but kept her face from looking too long.

But Anko thought Sakura's choices were boldest. She chose a light, clear navy kunoichi shift dress, which hid her body completely and gave her a very small, slim, bird-like appearance. Her pink hair was cut into a sleek crop haircut, which framed her face nicely and made it seem a little fuller yet was almost alarmingly short.

Their weapons pouches were fit onto their legs, and from there…

"Yes," said Anko. "You look like kunoichi."

She took a picture of the three girls together, smiling slightly at their forested training field.


	11. Chapter 11

_Author's Note:_ My research credits include -

Good ol' wikipedia

This book: _Sensational Knowledge: Embodying Culture Through Japanese Dance_ by Tomie Hahn. I did not come even close to covering this entire anthropological text, so definitely do check it out.

This article: "Dance Notes: teaching the traditions of nihon buyo" by Jesse Waldman

This video series on Vimeo: The JASGA Nihon Buyo Workshop

 _Additional Notes:_ This chapter was difficult, because even as a former dancer - which I am - it's hard to write well about dance lessons.

* * *

11.

"Our next section," said Anko, "is dance. Dance is important to being a ninja in several respects, chiefly because a fight is rather like a dance. It requires intense physical exertion and training, and you have to feel it inside you - it is a silent way to connect two people, the dancers to each other and the dancers to the audience. The key to dancing is to _know_. Not just with your mind, but with your body, as the two are interdependent. And in a fight, it's much the same.

"I will be teaching you traditional dancing, in the Nihon Buyo style. But first, let's go over a bit of back history for what traditional dancing consists of.

"There is a common myth as to the origins of traditional dance. Amaterasu, the Sun Goddess, had a brother, Susanoo, who was the guardian of the underworld and also a mischievous trickster. Well, one day Susanoo insulted Amaterasu, and she hid herself within a cave, leaving only darkness behind. The gods summoned Ama, a lesser goddess, and she came out, scantily clad, and performed a comical, erotic dance for the gods on an overturned tub. The gods laughed so loudly that Amaterasu came out to see what was going on, and the minute she did, the world was lit again. A mirror had been left at the mouth of the cave, showing Amaterasu her own beauty, and vain till the end, she came out from hiding. So in a roundabout way, dance brought light to the world.

"This is still the case, on a literal level - dance tends to flourish after very dark periods in history, such as wars. Dance brings joy, life, exuberance, even arousal. But let's go to a more conventionally historical explanation for the origin of dance.

"Traditional dance has a long history, dating back even before the warring clans era. See, we'll go over this in more detail later, but the Elemental Nations started out as a lot of rural farmers and hunter-gatherers. Small tribes of warrior families would fight each other over land. After chakra came to be discovered, ninja clans rose up in fury and started battling one another. Nations were carved out of this chaos, ruled by Daimyo lords, and any nation who wanted to be protected from other clans and nations came to have what we now call a Hidden Village - a military base full of powerful ninja. We Konoha ninja, for example, protect Fire Country. We keep its enemies at bay, and in return we are allowed to live on its forested land. The advent of Hidden Villages - large groups of ninja clans united through an alliance - brought relative peace to the world. There are still periods of war, but war is no longer constant.

"But way back before any of this, back before the advent of ninja even, there has always been dance. And it has always been a method of conversation between different peoples.

"The earliest dances were probably Shinto theatrical dances called Kagura - a precursor to modern Noh drama - and folk dances. There were folk dances for everything: rice production, fishing… in other words, people would dance hoping for a good harvest or a good catch. There were rain dances, especially used in periods of enormous drought. I believe there are still rain dances in Suna, which has very little water and also a complex, ancient honor system and code of hierarchy the likes of which doesn't seem to have really survived in any other part of the world.

"Dances are suffixed with various words, including -odori, -asobi, and -mai. Mai and Odori are the two main dance groups. Mai (which can also be pronounced bu) and Odori (which can also be pronounced yo) were combined to make the modern dance term Buyo. Nihon simply means 'authentic to the Elemental Nations.'

"However, Mai and Odori were originally separate. Mai is a reserved form of dancing that has circling movements; Noh dances are of this tradition. Odori has more vigorous stepping movements and is more energetic; Kabuki dances are of this tradition.

"So let's go over each element in turn.

"Kabuki is a traditional dance-drama with elaborate makeup. Kabuki theater, as you know, is quite famous - well, Kabuki's essential element is dance.

"Noh Mai is a dance done to music that is made by flutes and small hand drums, and later vocal and percussion music. Noh Mai is meant to be elegant and beautiful, and often involves elaborate costumes, the most important part of which is the famous Noh mask whose features are frozen.

"Bon Odori is a dance performed during the Obon festival. It is a dance meant to welcome the spirits of the dead, and is performed differently in every region. Usually, in a bon dance, everyone dances around a yagura, a high wooden scaffold."

"Morbid," said Ino in fascination.

"Well, if you're going to symbolize death," Sakura pointed out, "a scaffold will do it."

"Sensei," said Hinata, frowning, "what about our dance? Nihon Buyo?"

"I was just about to get to that," said Anko. "Nihon Buyo is intended as a kind of dance entertainment on stage. It is a refined dance that combines all other dances. It stemmed off from the energy and vigorousness of Kabuki, came to include the circular movements and tools such as sensu fans used in Noh, then came to include the spinning and jumping of folk dances, and finally came a mixture of various Western overseas cultures.

"It is most famous," said Anko, "as the style of dance performed by geisha."

"Sensei," said Sakura uncertainly, "I've noticed a lot of the kunoichi arts seem to be shared by geisha..."

"Yeah!" added Ino. "How close is the connection?"

"Well," said Anko thoughtfully, "let me put it to you this way. Some failed kunoichi go on to become housewives and mothers, that is true. But far more go on to become geisha. What a geisha is meant to do and what a kunoichi is meant to do are very closely connected. Both are meant to enchant, both are meant to be beautiful, both are meant to charm, both are meant to please… Both are also allowed boyfriends outside their nights out or seduction missions, by the way.

"But geisha are first and foremost entertainers. Men don't pay to have sex with them, they pay to spend a few hours in the company and with the seemingly rapt attention of a beautiful, charming, talented woman.

"Kunoichi, meanwhile, are seductresses. They entertain the man for a while before taking him into the bedroom. Then, while his guard is down, they get as much information as they can from him. And then, while he's asleep, they steal all his money, slit his throat, and run like hell." Here, Anko smirked. "There's an old saying: 'Never pick a fight with a woman. When men fight, they have rules. When women fight, they have no rules.' Kunoichi personify that. We lie, we seduce, we steal, we assassinate, and we kick 'em where the sun don't shine.

"So that means there are a couple of key differences in training between geisha and kunoichi. Geisha learn how to play instruments, which kunoichi don't; kunoichi learn ikebana, which geisha don't. Geisha also don't learn cooking or sexual seduction, though they do learn conversation, games and flirtation in much the same way kunoichi do.

"Let me explain these differences. It's pretty simple. Geisha are entertainers. If a kunoichi does her job right, she doesn't need to learn how to play an instrument and be an entertainer. She pours you your drink, she does her dance, she flirts with you, and then you hightail it out of there to, you know… do that thing people do in bed when they're not sleeping. That's where the sexual seduction training comes in. For geisha, this is never an issue, because they never get there.

"However, kunoichi are also sometimes spies in households. They are your servants, your concubine, etc. Which means they need to learn lovely household skills, such as cooking and ikebana. See?"

"So this dance thing is kind of where it all comes together," Ino guessed.

"After this, all that's left is calligraphy and poetry, then a brief aside into Zen Buddhism. Then we get into the _sexual_ stuff." Anko grinned viciously.

The girls swallowed.

* * *

And so they began dance training.

"Follow my lead," said Anko in a dance studio she had rented out, and she just began this weaving, complex dance before the mirror. The girls tried, panicked and stumbling, to follow her lead - they looked ridiculous and in under a minute, Hinata had tripped and landed painfully on her elbows, Ino had fallen on her ass, and Sakura had slipped into a split.

Anko paused and laughed. Loudly. The girls blushed and glared at her.

"Sorry, girls, that's the essence of Nihon Buyo," said Anko, grinning. "You don't learn the steps and then the dance. Instead, you learn the whole thing all at once. But let me give you some help. Watch me give you a tutorial a few times first, then try it yourself with my lead. Think of it like taijutsu - you see the forms, you practice the forms along with the instructor, then you practice them by yourself."

The first thing they learned was that much of Nihon Buyo dance was a kind of pantomime. Each dance told a story.

First Dance, for example, was the story of a maiden meeting a young man while going out to get water at a well. She sees him when she looks up at a plum tree. Later they get together and drink sake wine. The background music was lots of traditional singing (the singing always told the story of the dance) and plucking string instruments such as shamisen. It involved slow, graceful waves of movement with the fan, and lots of getting lower to the ground, bent knees, legs tensed, and curving one's hips back and forth - Anko-sensei said their stances were centered around their hara, the center of their stomach and their chakra center - with lots of turns and twists as the fan was waved.

"This is how all Nihon Buyo will be," Anko called over her shoulder. "It's the farthest thing from ballet."

One could actually see the acting out of the story inherent in each gesture. The point for a kunoichi, Anko said, was to produce a feeling of shyness and mystery hidden within the gestures to the viewer. One knelt, placed one's fan before oneself, and bowed at the end of the dance - this, again, was the same with all dances.

"I feel really self conscious when I do this," said Hinata at last. "I feel like a dork." The other two girls nodded in agreement. "Is there any way to… not feel like that, Anko-sensei?"

"Imagine the sexiest, toughest, most serene woman you can think of - and pretend you're her, for everything to do with the kunoichi arts," said Anko.

After this, they got better - more confident.

Second Dance required multiple dancers at once - women going out to look at cherry blossoms together was the theme of this story. Second Dance was difficult for the three girls because it required perfect synchronization. They had to each get the timing just right - which meant they easily got frustrated with each other, and arguments were had. Anko always broke up each fight firmly, made them apologize, and told them to try again.

And thus the dances went in this way, both single person dances and multiple person dances. One other dance they learned was the Sakura Sakura Dance, which was much quicker and involved more overt gestures like bending, tilting, and blowing a kiss.

Anko was a strict instructor. She would watch them do the same dance over and over again, constantly making corrections until it was perfect. Nihon Buyo did not look very physically exhausting at first, but by the time they were finished sometimes they would be dripping with sweat.

The acting was also difficult. One had to convey the sensation of watching an ocean, for example, without the ocean actually being there. One could do this by waving the fan, signifying rippling waves, and stepping hurriedly backward as if to keep from getting wet.

"You have to really see and feel the ocean in front of you," Anko said. "If you do that, so the theory goes, the audience will also understand."

* * *

"All this is great," said Anko one day during a lecture-style lesson, "but none of it will mean anything if you don't understand the mentality behind Nihon Buyo dancing.

"The first and most important thing to understand about Nihon Buyo, or indeed any of the kunoichi arts, is transmission. What I mean by this is that any art is passed down, from teacher to student to teacher to student. We have retained some hierarchy even in the unusually peaceful, pastoral, and democratic village of Konoha. All arts - even the ninja arts - are learned from transmission of teacher to student in a kind of hierarchy.

"It is this way even for non-kunoichi in a traditional school of dance. Traditional dance schools practice the iemoto system, in which there is the student, then the teacher, then the Iemoto (or headmaster), and then the Soke (or previous headmaster). This headmaster can be a man, but is most often a woman. In any case, hierarchy is extremely important.

"It is this way for a ninja as well. If your superior orders you to do something illegal, for example, and you do it - it is your superior who is punished. Not you."

"What if we don't want to do the illegal, immoral thing?" Hinata asked worriedly.

Anko looked torn for a moment. "Report the order to a superior higher than them," she said at last. "It's a tricky situation, and reactions vary from person to person, but that would be my advice. If the whole system is corrupt… I cannot instruct you further."

"Huh?" said Ino articulately.

"She means that's how rebellions happen," said Sakura grimly. Anko said nothing, but she gave a tight nod.

"So… you claim this system of transmission through hierarchy is so important. Does that continue once you graduate from the Ninja Academy - or training, or whatever - and go out into the field?" asked Ino curiously.

"Certainly," said Anko. "The superior who does not teach his juniors his ways out in the field is a very dishonorable and inept superior indeed. For a truly excellent superior, every day, every mission, is a lesson. Once you become superiors yourselves, the same will apply to you. But for now, I'm your superior, and you learn from me.

"But back to dance.

"Another thing one can learn from dance is respect for elders. In a true dance school, while young adulthood through thirty is considered to be prime, and while youthful beauty can capture an audience, most Nihon Buyo dancers continue dancing until they can no longer move. It is thought that a mature dancer has more experience and technique, to make up for her lack of youth. So when you see an aged dancer or kunoichi, you should have the highest respect for her superior technique. Age does not mean weakness; it means knowledge.

"In the matter of an aged kunoichi or even an aged male ninja in particular… you have to keep in mind, in order to get to that age, they had to survive every single mission they've taken up till that point. That should command your respect. Hokage-sama, for example, is very old - but that just means that if he started ninja life as a child or teenager, and is still a successful ninja at sixty, he's survived, what - forty or fifty years of hard missions? As have his two advisors?"

The girls' eyes had widened.

"Yeah," said Anko, "exactly. And that's why he and his former teammates head the village.

"In dance, one must also have respect for one's tools. The sensu fan, for example, should always be stepped around, not on or over, should be kept cleaned and polished, and should be replaced once every few years. It's the same with your ninja equipment, by the way.

"Now we get into more spiritual aspects of traditional dance. For example, at the end of a dance or, in traditional schools, when you are bowing to a teacher, you kneel, place the fan at arm's length from you, and then bow. This is a metaphor. The fan creates a barrier between the student and the teacher, drawing attention to the space in between them. The line is a spiritual boundary, honored as a kind of devotional space. When you bow, you acknowledge the difference between yourself and the teacher, but your bow respectfully honors both of you.

"Dance, like fighting, is spiritual in nature. It is a process of understanding oneself and one's spirit. One learns through the body, and that translates into one's heart, the inner self within the body. By understanding your heart and yourself, you can then become anyone. The technical term for one's inner self, heart, soul, spirit is kokoro. Dance teaches you to find your own kokoro, the very same center that holds you up throughout fights."

"How do we find kokoro, Sensei?" said Hinata. "How do we know when we've found it?"

"You find it through mindfulness. Do you know what that is? You'll learn more about it when I teach you Zen Buddhism - all these practices are interrelated. But basically, mindfulness says that you let go of all extraneous thoughts and focus only on what you must do in the present moment. To learn all the rules, and focus on practicing them in perfect synchronization, and concentrate on nothing else but that - that is mindfulness. And through this, we learn who we really are. We find our kokoro.

"Mindfulness will help you in stressful situations out in the field. Don't worry, don't fret, don't ponder. Focus only on what you must do. That is how you will succeed. It is a hard practice, but you become more successful at it with time.

"Thus, when we teach a person, it is very important that we do it well, because we are also teaching their spirit. The body's actual form and actions embody the nature - or spirit - of the person. That's why Zen teaches different physical forms for meditation and other practices - the belief goes that if your body moves correctly, your mind will follow. So the more experiences you have and the more you train your body, the more you mindfully focus on your body and the current moment, the stronger your spirit is. Incidentally, this is also how you increase your chakra - through physical training and experience. So when you dance, even though you are not fighting, your chakra gets stronger.

"There is an ancient saying: 'Better an inch of practice than a foot of preaching.' When you dance, or when you fight, or when you train, you learn something which is inexpressible through words. A deeper understanding known only to a select few."

Anko smiled at the looks of childish awe on her students' faces.

"Now, there are four main 'aesthetic' principles when it comes to dancing, and indeed almost any traditional art:

"First is simplicity, or wabi, which I have taught you about already.

"Second is irregularity. We covered this a bit in tea ceremony, wherein you have to use varying numbers and shapes of your tea making utensils, for example. But let me go into irregularity a little more in-depth. You see, it is believed that irregularity reflects nature, and that true life is always imperfect. Art is meant to celebrate and appreciate that. Irregularity is expressed in Nihon Buyo through the stances we take in dance. Very rarely are we perfectly symmetrical, one steady straight line of a body. No, usually we are positioned so that one leg is forward and bent, each arm is held at a different position, and the torso is turned with the feet aligned in a different direction.

"Third there is suggestion. Ninja, for example, are told to look 'underneath the underneath.' To look beneath the surface and see what's really there. Our culture is obsessed with mystery, and this is expressed through the kimono you wear when you dance. Kimono show very little of the body, leaving almost everything to the imagination. This is considered erotic. The neck, however, sometimes called the most beautiful part of a woman's body, is almost always exposed. So always put your neck to best effect when seducing, even if it means you have to paint on your neck as geisha do. We also show subtlety and implication when we do dancing itself - what is telling a story simply with body and sensu fan, if not a lesson in implication?

"Fourth is the idea of impermanence. People die; we must accept that. Seasons change and plants wither; we must also accept that. These are Buddhist tenets. Flower arrangements only last for so long, all tea ceremonies must end, and so must all dances. The process of transmission in dance or in ninjutsu also reflects impermanence: the teacher imparts lessons to the student because the teacher is not going to be around forever. Eventually I'm gonna die. Deal with it. I have."

There was a solemn quiet in the pause that followed.

* * *

At the end of it all, they had a dance recital. They dressed in their best kimono, the colors bringing out their skin and hair tones beautifully, and they each did a separate dance before coming together at the end to do a multiple person synchronized dance.

Anko was the viewer, and they were all aware of how critical she was.

But they really had improved. They did well. Each girl showed a confidence, shyness, mischief, and mystery far beyond her age, playing her part beautifully. They weaved seductively, their fans waving, and they were good. She could admit it privately to herself. They had done well.

Experts in tea ceremony, beautiful flower arrangers, seductive dancers, excellent cooks, and quite lovely-looking kunoichi, they were improving rapidly. More importantly, they had calmed and matured, and by now Anko's daily exercise routine barely phased them at all.

Just a few more sections in the kunoichi arts and then they would be on to the academics and fighting skills of becoming a shinobi.


	12. Chapter 12

_Author's Note:_ I have two research pieces to credit for the writing of this chapter.

First, good ol' wikipedia.

Second, the book _Shodo: The Quiet Art of Japanese Zen Calligraphy_ by Shozo Sato. Check it out. Interesting read.

* * *

12.

"Okay, kiddies, last but not least, we get to calligraphy and Zen poetry. You're supposed to know calligraphy in order to be an accomplished woman and entertainer, sure, but also to be an accomplished kunoichi. Calligraphy is rather like ikebana in that it requires creativity within a defined set of rules - it is also a physical art, with the fingers, the same fingers you use to make hand seals for jutsu and throw long distance weapons.

"But there's more. Say you want to seduce a man? One way you could is by writing him a beautiful, hand-crafted piece using Shodo - or calligraphy.

"What are some other ways you could seduce a man using the skills I've already taught you?"

The answers were immediate:

"A graceful tea ceremony."

"A beautiful flower arrangement."

"A seductive dance."

"A well-cooked meal."

"A beautiful and erotic appearance."

"Exactly," said Anko. "After this we get to the cruder, more physical seductive arts: flirtation, massage, that sort of thing. Liberally use alcohol and that is yet another way you could seduce a man. So I have a whole wide variety of tools here for you. All you must do out in the field when you're older is use them.

"Now. Let's get into Shodo - or calligraphy.

"The combination of sumi, or black ink, and brush used to create ideograms is known as shodo or 'The Way (do) of Writing (sho).' To create sho as an art form requires not only physical preparation but also mental preparation. The sho creator must learn breathing control and how to concentrate chakra in their center or hara, the lower part of their abdomen. This, additionally, is needed to practice ninjutsu and taijutsu, so it's good to start now. The sho creator, by concentrating and internalizing energy, can then pick up the brush and in a matter of seconds execute an ideogram.

"I would add that in shodo it is considered sacrilege to go back and touch up the work. Any adjustment or touch-up would be apparent, and would interrupt your flow of chakra. Therefore the created work wouldn't be an honest representation of the artist's energy and personality. It must all just flow freely, is what I'm trying to say."

Ino raised her hand. "What if we make mistakes?" Sakura and Hinata were also frowning.

"You practice constantly until you don't make mistakes," said Anko. "You do not try for perfection, but through constant practice and the free flowing of personality energy, the ultimate goal is to achieve a kind of spiritual perfection. This, also, mimics ninjutsu. In a fight you've only got one shot, so let your energy flow freely without keeping perfection in mind. Practice fighting and sparring enough, and you will achieve good fighting skills.

"Calligraphy, like tea ceremony, has great ties to Zen Buddhism. And once you learn how to make shodo scrolls, you can hang your own art in the alcoves of your ceremonies yourselves, and collect your own shodo pieces - you won't have to use mine anymore. You can start forming your own judgments.

"I am going to teach you zengo - a one line Zen statement encapsulating an idea. Zen is all about stripping away what is unnecessary. You see this in everything from haiku to tea ceremony. In this case, you have to say everything you need to say using one statement. This sets the tone for wherever the zengo scroll is hung. If it is hung in a tea room alcove, it is known as ichigyo mono, and such scrolls are highly revered. They are an exercise in minimalism, a simple, poetic single-line statement made using elegant calligraphy."

* * *

"The key to shodo is practice and an open mind. Practice is simple - practice leads to mastery and understanding. Keeping an open mind is harder, but it applies to any art," said Anko. "When observing a piece of art, the character and experience of the creator must be taken into consideration.

"Put in this light, even the most novice art can be appreciated. Novice art is still an expression of the creator's character and level of skill. Look upon all pieces of art with compassion for the person creating the art, keeping in mind the background they are coming from. In this way, you can avoid arrogance and snobbery, looking down on others. This applies to the martial arts, the ninja arts, as well.

"Basically, keeping an open mind and heart is essential for any true appreciation of art, and especially shodo. By keeping an open mind, you can truly appreciate any art from the most skilled to the most novice. And others should do the same when looking at your own art, whether it is on a page or in a scroll hung in a tea room alcove.

"Learning context is also important. Without context for the piece, it can be difficult to comprehend the meaning of a single-line statement. So when I say 'keep an open mind,' it applies to this too. Learning to understand and comprehend zengo takes practice. This kind of patience should also be applied to mastering the ninja arts - even when it seems hard."

* * *

"So, to begin. Shodo employs three ways of writing characters: kanji, hiragana, and katakana. As shodo is an expression of individuality, all three different kinds of characters can be used in a single statement. However, within kanji there are several sub-styles, so let me remind you of them.

"I do not need to go over with you what kanji is, or what hiragana and katakana are. You know already. Just know that in modern day we use a simplified system of writing kanji. As you will see, in shodo, which uses more traditional styles of kanji, the characters will seem more complex and unfamiliar.

"Also keep in mind the five basic styles used today for writing kanji: tensho, reisho, kaisho, gyosho, and sosho. There is also the T Shirt and Blue Jeans Style, a more modern and simplified invention.

"You can use these varying character types and styles as you will in shodo. So you already have a lot of room to maneuver.

"Now, let me go over the 'four treasures' of shodo, prized from ancient times. The four treasures of shodo are brush, sumi ink, grinding stone, and paper. You need to know each tool intimately if you are to master shodo. The physical tools are just as important as the character-type tools, and may also be more unfamiliar to you.

"First, the brush. Tensho, reisho, and kaisho each require a specific type of brush. When writing in sosho style, a brush with long and soft bristles is used. In writing kaisho, one uses a brush with stiffer hair. In gyosho style, a slightly softer brush is recommended.

"Take a look at my collection of brushes, over here." They moved closer to the kitchen table. "The big brush with a short handle has soft hair composition, making it good for gyosho and sosho. This brush is good for kaisho and gyosho, with the center and outer hairs coarser. This ancient brush with a green stone handle is good for writing small ideograms such as in kaisho. This brush made with coarse hairs is good for writing large calligraphy in kaisho or reisho style. This is an ancient bamboo brush with coarse fibers as bristles, good for reisho or kaisho. Bird feathers are used as bristles in this one.

"In general, as a rule, look at coarseness, size, length of handle, and length of bristles. A typical shodo brush has bristles about three inches in length, but size can vary greatly.

"Next, we come to the ink, or sumi. Sumi is made from burning certain kinds of oils and minerals. The soot that comes from the burning is then mixed with an adhesive. There are four general kinds of colors - brown, black, red, and blue - depending on what you burn and what kind of adhesive you use. Sumi ink comes in sticks wrapped in packaging, some of them in circular or square shapes - they don't always just look like a plain stick.

"In general, use inexpensive inks for practice. They can cost about ten or twenty dollars. A similar-looking stick of ink that's much better quality can cost several hundreds of dollars. For fancier stuff, you'll want to use that. Otherwise the ink may bleed or run during the process of mounting the artwork. So be careful with your expensive ink. Use sparingly.

"Then comes the paper. For beginners, outdated newspapers are commonly used for practice. But once some of the subtler arts come to you, higher quality paper is recommended. Art supply stores usually carry paper especially made for practice in calligraphy. Common practice paper is called hanshi.

"Finally comes the seals and stamp pads. Paintings are commonly identified by artist's signature, right? Well, ink paintings and calligraphy pieces are identified with the artist's inkan seal. Generally, the ideogram for the calligrapher's surname is done in white with a red background, while the given name is done in red with a white background. You use these 'stamps' to identify your artwork. There is a store here in Konoha that will make you a set of name stamps for yourself.

"With that said, let's get started with some actual techniques."

* * *

First Anko taught them how to hold the brush and move with it correctly. There were four different methods alone just for holding the brush, and they had to show her all of them without being helped before she was satisfied.

She also taught them how to breathe properly while practicing shodo, and become aware of their breathing and their chakra.

"The breathing is simple," she said. "Inhale, hold the breath, move the brush, and begin gradually exhaling. By the time you finish exhaling, one section of the ideogram should be complete. Repeat the process with the next part.

"But chakra is harder. Try closing your eyes, breathing in and out. Feel the blood pumping through your veins. Next to those veins, you should feel something - a kind of electricity coursing through you.

"That something is your chakra. Hinata and Ino may have already gone through this with their clans. Sakura, can you feel it?"

After a moment, her eyes still closed, Sakura nodded.

"All that chakra courses to a center, above your hara. You have to keep this center firmly fixed while you breathe correctly while doing shodo. This should make your chakra flow better and give you more energy and help you in your shodo endeavors."

Then she taught them several basic brush strokes. These included:

\- The wide to wide stroke

\- The wide to narrow stroke with a taper

\- The narrow to wide stroke

\- The horizontal line with the upright line down

\- The upright line with the right horizontal line

\- The basic upright line

\- The upright line with a hook

\- The upright line with a left taper

\- The three horizontal lines

\- The two horizontal lines of the same length

\- The three dots

\- The horizontal line with a hook

\- The wave tapered line

And countless others. In total, she taught them thirty-two ideograms, most of them for basic things like heart, hand, wind, things, god, wave, moon, sun, day, etc. All of them required various kinds of precise strokes like these in varying shapes.

She was right in one thing. These kanji were more complex than what they were used to.

Then she taught them several more philosophical ideograms in each of the varying styles. "These ideograms are a good way to teach Zen philosophy," she said. "They are the heart of zengo." She moved from simple one ideogram concepts and into more complex, multi-ideogram concepts. Some of these more philosophical ideograms included:

"Mu" or "Nothingness" - to go beyond having and not having, into a state of nothingness or emptiness.

"Yume" or "Dream" - these may be dreams for the future, physical dreams themselves, or the idea that life itself is a dream.

"Hanatsu" or "Release" - another ideogram for the idea of nothingness, as in, to be released from worldly concerns.

"Nyoze" or "As It Is" - to accept life as it is, not as we want it or don't want it to be.

"Fu Metsu" or "Immortal/Indestructible" - in other words, to find that essential element of you that will give you comfort in your final moments on earth.

"Sen Shin" or "Purity of the Soul" - in other words, to wash all worldly concerns and confused imagination from your soul in order to purify it. Physical purification could be seen not only in temples but in tea ceremonies. This went back to the idea that if the body was trained one way, the mind would follow.

"Kai Da Ko" or "Release Beat Drum" - this one was more complicated. It stemmed from the idea that three elements are needed to create a drum sound. Skin and drum, drumstick, and person drumming. Similarly, Buddhism would not be without Buddha, teacher, and student. Without people, Buddha and Buddhism do not exist.

"Mu Sho Ju" or "No Place to Live" - the idea that a pure spirit can appreciate beauty, whether in a person or in nature, without desiring to own it. The desire for possessions causes pain and sorrow because true possession can never be fulfilled.

"Zai Gan Zen" or "Front of Your Eyes" - the idea that enlightenment is right before you, if only you remove the veil of selfishness, confusion, and desires of possession covering your eyes.

"Ichi Go Ichi E" or "One Lifetime One Meeting" - the idea that each moment is precious and can never be replicated again in a person's lifetime.

"Wa Kei Sei Jaku" or "Harmony Respect Purity Tranquility" - these were the four central most important tenets of Buddhist philosophy.

"Za Ichi So Shichi" or "Sit First Dash Seven" - in other words, if you sat and contemplated first, you could go in seven different directions at once.

"Zui Ha Chiku Ro" or "Ocean Waves After Surf" - this was the idea that one had to be flexible with life, and move with the tides like ocean waves.

"Nichi Nichi Kore Ko Jitsu" or "Every Day is a Good Day" - in this saying, it was meant that despite any desires of detachment, Zen practitioners experience emotion and desires like everyone else. To incorporate those into daily life but not let them control you was the purpose of this saying.

"Gei Do Kore Butsu Do" or "The Way of the Art is the Way of the Buddha" - this taught that every art, even one as mundane as cooking and cleaning, showed the Buddha through creativity.

"Uchi Ni Mukai Soto Ni Mukai Au Mono O Subete Korosu" or "Face in Face Out Meet Person Kill All" - not as fearsome as it sounded, this saying meant to destroy all bad influences in your life. Ino in particular took this one to heart.

"I should add," said Anko, "that not all of your single-statement shodo has to be Zen. It can be any subject you want. But these are just some ideas to get you started."

* * *

"And lastly, now that you know some basic calligraphy and Zen thought, I'm going to teach you haiku - which you can also make using calligraphic practices.

"There are three elements to haiku:

"The first is the most commonly known: seven, five, seven. This is the number of on, or syllables, that you should have in each line. Seven syllables, five syllables, seven. That's it. That's all you get. Again, minimalism is key here.

"Second, the middle line should be a sort of cutting point between the other two. Two images with a center which colors them.

"And finally, a reference to seasons and nature is usually used.

"I guess I should add that modern writers are increasingly unwilling to stick to seven-five-seven or nature themes. The juxtaposition rule is still always honored, though.

"You may have seen haiku put in three lines, to make things simpler to understand, but original, authentic haiku is all done in one line.

"And that's it! All I can say from here is keep practicing. By the end of the month, I expect an authentic, if amateurish, shodo piece from each of you. But I would encourage you even after that to keep practicing shodo if you want to get really good at it."

* * *

Hinata ended up turning in a haiku on falling snow - lovely and traditional.

Ino wrote a single statement shodo piece with a dark theme: "The blackness in others infects you." It was a surprising twist for such a seemingly cheerful and lively person, but some of these lessons may have taken Ino back to her time with her former friends.

But Sakura truly excelled in calligraphy and poetry. She turned in one of each, a haiku and a single-statement, followed by several more, each increasingly complex. She loved the puzzle, the ability to say so much with so little, and she often came to Anko-sensei asking for advice.

"Next on the list," said Anko at the end, "we immerse ourselves fully in Zen and Zen meditation itself."


	13. Chapter 13

_Author's Notes:_ This is part one of a two-part section on Zen. Chapter fourteen should finish up Zen teachings.

Thanks for sticking with me this long.

My research book for this section was _Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind_ by Shunryu Suzuki.

* * *

13.

"For Zen Buddhism," said Anko, out in their training field one day, "we are going to do something a little bit different. I am going to give you a series of short lessons on Zen Buddhism, taking you through its practices step by step.

"There will be no tests for this section of learning. There is no such thing as 'the accomplished Buddhist,' because part of the point of Buddhism is to free your mind from the selfish idea of trying to be perfect and attain accomplishment. I don't even see how I would _give_ you a test on Zen Buddhism.

"So just learn as much as you can, okay? Buddhism teaches to just do the best that you can. Sound good?"

"Yes, Anko-sensei!" they echoed as one.

"Very good," said Anko. "Then let's get started."

* * *

"The first thing I want to talk about concerning Zen Buddhism is what I call the 'beginner's mind.' The technical term for this is shoshin.

"Zen teaches that the beginner's mind is actually the best possible state to be in. The first time you recite a sutra, you really take in what it means and try to understand it. But the more you recite the sutra, the more you lose your original attitude towards it. It simply becomes ingrained into you and you don't really fully take it in anymore.

"So one should always try to keep their beginner's mind. This means keeping an open, ready mind. An open, empty mind is ready for and open to everything. In the beginner's mind, the possibilities are limitless.

"The beginner's mind also lacks self-centered thoughts such as 'I have accomplished something.' It has no thought of achievement and no thought of self. This does not mean that it's bad to achieve things, only that it is bad to try to achieve impossible things such as perfection and to have proud, egotistical thoughts. The true point of Buddhism is to eliminate all judgmental, self-centered, and impure thoughts.

"Relating to a judgmental mentality, the true beginner's mind is one of compassion. To have compassion for ourselves and others is a true Zen principle. The idea is that compassion itself is boundless and contains limitless possibilities. So, say someone hurts you. You do not have to keep that person in your life, but you should have compassion for a person who continually hurts others - it means they are probably, in some way, hurting themselves. Through a compassionate mindset, we can form a true understanding of other people.

"In short, always be a beginner. Do not struggle to understand Zen. This is imperative. Just listen to every Zen principle with a fresh, open, beginner's mind. That's all you have to do. The only true way to achieve enlightenment is to stop trying to achieve enlightenment.

"This can apply to life, too. If we approach each part of our life as a learning experience, without self-centered thoughts such as 'I must accomplish this or that,' we are calmer and able to take in and learn more. You are never a master, never finished learning. That's the secret."

* * *

"Our next lesson is on zazen posture.

"We have covered physical forms a little bit already when we talked of dance. The idea is that the body and mind are interconnected, and if the body is right so the mind will be. That means that the forms I am about to show you are not a means of achieving the right state of mind. To take this posture itself is to have the right state of mind. There is no need to obtain some special state of mind. Your mind is not separate from your body.

"So, to wit: full lotus position. You're sitting. Your left foot is on your right thigh and your right foot is on your left thigh. In this, your crossed legs become one."

"But really they're two," said Ino flatly, who clearly did not understand the point of half of this.

"Exactly," said Anko. "They're not two but they're not one either. This concept is actually really important in Zen: not two and not one. Your body and your mind are also not two and not one. Everything in life is like this - not plural, but also not singular. The energies of quantum mechanics very highly fall in with Zen beliefs. The idea of something being two things at once, in one place and another.

"It doesn't follow conventional logic and physics, which is the only reason why it's a somewhat complicated idea for us to grasp. Just remember always to keep an open beginner's mind. Don't struggle to understand, just take it in and accept. The whole point of Zen is inner peace and tranquility. If Zen is complicated and stressful for you," and here Anko laughed, "that's the only time you're doing it wrong!

"Think of it this way: like death. When you die, both your mind and body die. This is true. Your mind stops working and your body dies. So you die. Yet you don't really die. You are dead yet not dead. Remember the idea of the Immortal or Indestructible from calligraphy lessons. There is a part of you that is mind and body yet not mind and body which exists after death. Understanding and accepting this part of you without necessarily struggling to understand it is a concept of Zen.

"Now, back to zazen posture. So, you're sitting with your legs crossed correctly. We've got that part down. Now, your spine must be straight. Your ears and your shoulders should be on one long line. Don't try this without me explaining it to you," said Anko as they all tried, "or it will just hurt. Straighten your spine like this: relax your shoulders while pushing up toward the ceiling with the back of your head. This will straighten your spine without hurting your back. Also, pull your chin in - make sure it's not tilted up. Finally, press your diaphragm down towards your hara. This does not mean stop breathing. It means press down on your diaphragm, relax and let the air come in, then repeat. Breathe slowly, like one would do when practicing shodo. This, too, will practice and center your chakra.

"Your hands should form what is called the cosmic mudra. Put your left hand on top of your right, middle joints of your middle fingers together, and touch your thumbs lightly together. Your hands should make an oval. This harkens to hand signs, which you will use to do ninjutsu in later training.

"And that is zazen posture. Always practice meditation using this posture.

"When you stand and practice, there are also rules. Your heels should be as far apart as the width of your fist, your big toes in line with the center of your breasts. Put strength in your abdomen again. And now there is a new hand sign - left hand against chest, fingers encircling thumb, right hand over it, thumb pointed downward, forearms parallel to the floor.

"And after this, you do not slump off daydreaming. Instead, you keep your mind solely on your sensations and body. Nothing else. This is why it is simpler to meditate with your eyes closed - you are distracted by less visual stimulation. When your mind wanders, don't get angry with it, but just move it easily back to the meditation. This is the essence of Zen. If you achieve this, you have achieved enlightenment. Enlightenment is not a hard thing; it's actually relatively simple. The practices and ideas around enlightenment are more complicated than obtaining enlightenment itself.

"You have posture. Now let's talk about breathing a little more in depth.

"The central idea behind breathing is that your throat is like a swinging door. You are "I," and the world outside is "You." Your throat acts as a swinging door between you and I, letting you out and then back into the I. Out and then in again. So be aware of your breathing, because it is your connection to the universe. Be aware of every in breath and every out breath."

They tried this, and after a while and a lot of fidgeting, they did find a sort of peace in it. Ino could reluctantly admit to herself that it was relaxing. Sakura dutifully followed each instruction. But Hinata's appreciation was more fervent. For her, the connection to meditation and Zen thought became a lifelong love.

* * *

"Here are a few other elements:

"First, control.

"Zen teaches that life is essentially chaotic and cannot be controlled. People are this way, too. If you try to control someone, it does not work; if you try to ignore them, this also does not work. The best way to relate to someone is to give them a wide space and let them do what they will without trying to control or possess them.

"It's the same way with zazen. When you are meditating, let images flow peacefully in and out of your mind the way clouds pass by. Keep your focus on your breathing and let your mind's images come to you and then leave you again.

"Second, mind waves.

"This ties into the teaching on control. Just let your thoughts come and go. Don't try to stop your thinking. Slowly, let your thinking stop itself. Let thoughts come and go, then always go back to the meditation. Your thoughts won't stay long. No thought does. Your mind goes in waves - thoughts go out, and back in, out, and back in.

"Third, the marrow of zen.

"The marrow of zen is that the students who have the most difficulty with zazen are also the best. Meditate when things trouble you - it is only through this extremely difficult experience of meditation that you truly learn meditation.

"The marrow of zen also teaches that the father who brags 'I am an excellent father,' is not the best father. The best father is one who says, 'I am not a good father' - as long as he is truly trying his hardest to be a good father despite his personal difficulties.

"In other words, to try and to achieve peace despite personal difficulties is the ultimate show of zen. Hinata touched on this a bit once when she said she admired Naruto because, in her eyes at the time, he always tried his hardest despite doing badly. We can debate whether Naruto is really like that with his schooling - whether he really does always work his hardest, or is just not interested in concentrating and listening at school. But the point is, the admiration of the perceived quality was good. One who knows how much he has to learn, and accepts that, will improve. One who thinks he has nothing to learn will never improve. Conversely, I think that is one of Sasuke's biggest problems. He already thinks he is the best, and therefore loses some incentive to improve.

"Additionally, of course, egotism and arrogance are very close to self-centeredness, which is another no-no in Zen Buddhism. One who knows he has much to learn, without thinking in terms of 'success' and 'failure,' is much more Zen. So when Hinata thinks she has much to learn and considers herself a failure, she is not Zen. When she thinks she has much to learn and sees that as an opportunity to improve, she is Zen.

"Fourth, form is form and emptiness is emptiness.

"This means to accept things as they really are. To meditate over such a long period of time, that when you meditate the pain in your legs no longer really bothers you anymore. You simply accept things as they are.

"One can apply this to life. We must also accept life as it is. Life is short, and one must enjoy it from day to day, moment to moment. Find a way to enjoy each day. Live mindfully in the moment, without being worried by the past and the future.

"You see, in our minds, time is not a chronological thing. We can go forward and backward in time in our minds, and thus unless we lose our memory, we keep each of our past moments forever, and each of our dreams is already real for us. What is not good is when we let those non-chronological experiences of past and future control us. One must live now, not in the past or in the future. You may plan for the future or cherish the past, but live in the now. That is what's best."

* * *

"After zazen is over, we bow to the floor nine times.

"To bow means to give up the idea of self and become emptiness. To bow usually means to show someone greater respect, but you should not respect Buddha. Instead you should become one with Buddha. When you give up dualistic ideas and instead become one, everything is your teacher, and so you bow in respect to all that is around you.

"Remember this: everything is your teacher. And essentially, everything has the same value - man and woman, child and adult, animal and plant. Everything is your teacher and is valuable and worthy of respect. So you bow to everything, and as you are one with everything, in the end you bow to yourself. You are worthy of just as much respect as all that is around you."

* * *

"I have taught you the essentials of Zen and zazen meditation. Now let me teach you the right Zen attitude.

"First, let me emphasize that each and every single individual life is considered rare and wonderful in Zen. And in a way, since we cannot repeat the same experience twice, everything we do is rare and wonderful. Approached with this mindset, practice can be a joyful experience. When you sit you feel joy; when you recite sutras you feel joy; when you bow you feel joy.

"Zen also teaches that everything in life is a practice - not a preparation for something else. When you are cooking, the conventional idea is that you are preparing a meal. But in reality, cooking is an act, and can even be an enjoyable act, in and of itself. When you put your self and personality into it, you can create something wonderful. Therefore, since it is an expression of yourself, it is a Buddhist practice."

"Sensei," said Sakura, raising her hand, "so in this sense, all of life is a Buddhist practice?"

"Exactly. And through creation and the expression of your personality, you can find joy in each activity," agreed Anko, nodding calmly. "One could even apply this, quite vitally, to missions that require things such as sexual playacting. As in dance, if you are expressing your inner personality, your kokoro or heart, it does not matter what you are doing. You can put your all and your best into pretending to be someone else, but you are still creating something yourself.

"So in a sense, you never lose yourself, even when you are pretending to be someone else. Everything in your life is a creation of yourself. Your fights and your spars, too, are a creation of yourself."

The girls looked thoughtful at this part, and this was good. For a kunoichi, having a fine understanding of their own energy expression was extremely important.

"So, Sensei. I have a question." Ino raised her hand. "It seems like we're being told our own self expression is extremely important, but not to get egotistical and obsessed with accomplishments of the self. Is that true?"

"Exactly. Express and understand your own energies, but do not allow yourself to get caught up in 'I succeed at this' or 'I fail at that.' Egotism has no place in Zen," said Anko. "Next lesson is not to get too caught up in the practice of zazen.

"What I mean is this," she said, when her students looked confused, "zazen is meant to enhance your life, not get in the way of it. You are a busy person. Say you practice zazen once a week. That's usually good enough.

"Many younger students will do nothing but meditate for hours every day, or will go to live in the mountains as a hermit. This is not true Zen. That is excitement, not a routine acceptance of Zen as an actual part of their lives. When they lose their excitement and go back to their ordinary lives, they will not have practiced Zen in their ordinary lives so in the end nothing will have changed."

Hinata frowned, raising her hand. She was thinking of her cousin Neji. Neji considered himself a philosopher (Hinata considered him an embittered philosopher, weighed down by the responsibilities of being a branch retainer member of the family) and he did indeed meditate for hours every day.

"If they don't look excited while they're meditating," said Hinata, "is it still excitement? My cousin Neji, for example, always looks quite serious. Meditation is his biggest hobby."

"Exactly," said Anko. "It's a _hobby_. It is not something he has made a daily part of his life. It's something he enjoys in his off-time. He's like a child with a new toy who plays with the toy every day - that cannot last forever.

"Zen should be a mindset you cultivate every day, and you should emphasize that with zazen practice when it is convenient for you - as I said, perhaps once a week. When you need to relax or when something is troubling you, that is also an excellent time to practice Zen or zazen.

"But it is not a hobby. It is not something to get excited about. Instead, it should be a daily part of one's life."

It was interesting for Hinata, realizing Neji was not the all-knowing person she had thought he was. Instead, he was still young, and obsessed with finding that greater purpose for himself.

It was also interesting for Ino, realizing she was slowly being converted to this new way of thinking.

* * *

"One big point of Zen is that it should come easily. Do not put in any extra effort, you already have everything inside of you.

"Think of it like this. You have always existed, even before you were born. Before you were born, you may think you did not exist, but how does one who does not exist exist?" The girls blinked. "You always existed. And even after death, in some way, you always will. If you exist, you exist. It's that simple. That goes back to the 'Immortal' or 'Indestructible' ideogram. Everything that comes to exist is immortal.

"In the same way, you already exist with everything you need. So Zen practice should be effortless. Take zazen, for example. To sit and watch your thoughts come and go and to accept things as they are is not impossible. And yet that is enlightenment. Once you let go of the veil of judgmentality and egotism that covers your eyes, living in the world with simplicity and compassion, too, will become easy. Slowly and compassionately correct yourself, always keep an open learning mind, and never stop learning about Zen. That is all that is required.

"You should not put lots of extra effort into affirming these things. If Zen is a struggle, you're not doing it correctly."

* * *

"True Zen is giving. This means more than it appears on the surface.

"To do something with attachment is to do something with 'self' or 'ego' in mind. I am going to do this because it will make me feel good about myself - that is a common thought. But to do something without attachment, so the saying goes, is to truly give.

"In other words, no matter what you're giving to someone, if you're giving without thoughts of self you are moving in the direction of Nirvana. And Nirvana is our ultimate goal.

"Let's go back to the sparring example - say you're sparring with someone. You are giving them that experience that will help them on the battlefield. And if you do it naturally, letting the energy flow, without worrying about things like 'personal success and failure', or even in a fight without worrying about 'personal, physical life or death' - then you are able to more naturally be and fight for yourself and you are giving the person you are fighting a gift, one that can never be taken back.

"We must also practice Zen without the idea of gaining. If we are greedy and are focused on always obtaining a higher ideal - we never actually achieve our ultimate ideal. This greedy way of practice is a poor way of practice."

Sakura, who had always been so perfectionistic and achievement oriented, frowned. She raised her hand. "So - we don't aspire to things?"

"Not on a personal level, no," said Anko. "We try our best every day with what we have toward what we want. But we don't go toward perfectionistic ideals of 'oh, I have to master this thing then this thing then this thing.' That's not the right way to practice at all. Because in this way, you'll get frustrated when you make mistakes."

"Of course," said Sakura, who had always been frustrated and embarrassed when she made mistakes.

"But mistakes are not bad things," said Anko. "If you never make mistakes, you never learn anything. Mistakes help you grow. Mistakes are your signposts teaching you the flaws in your practice. Embrace and thank your mistakes for what they have taught you - and then don't make the same mistakes again."

So Sakura gained two big things from Zen - one was a lack of narrow-minded judgmentality, and the other was an appreciation for mistakes as part of the learning process.

"You can look at political and religious viewpoints in this manner," said Anko. "If we hold up an ideal and ignore its mistakes, we can easily become bigoted. Look at the good and bad points of all practices and viewpoints, and then decide which side of the line you stand on.

"This will also give you a better understanding of the viewpoints of others, which is equally important.

"That's all for today, but we'll talk more about the Zen mindset next time."


	14. Chapter 14

_Author's Notes:_ My research book for this section was _Zen Mind, Beginner's Mind_ by Shunryu Suzuki.

Just a short little chappie finishing up the Zen section.

* * *

14.

"More today about the proper Zen mindset," said Anko, the next time they met. "The first thing I want to talk about today is our lack of worship toward a single concept.

"We do not have one set idea to believe in, such as God, the way most other religions do. Rather, we focus on helping our practitioners concentrate on their daily lives, on only doing as much as they can in the exact moment they are living. Ours is a lifestyle set of beliefs.

"So a Zen practitioner can also be a Christian, or a Shinto practitioner, or a Hindu. That's alright. It's completely compatible with Zen. Zen is simply about being more and more who you truly are. I hesitate even to call it a 'religion,' in the most traditional sense of the word. A Zen practitioner can also be an atheist. Zen is simply a lifestyle.

"Along that same note, Zen is all about studying yourself. Remember, Buddha is you and you and Buddha are one. So when you study Buddhism, you're really studying yourself. Not in the egocentric way, but in the sense of understanding and accepting yourself better. All Buddhist practices are there to help you know more and more of who you really are.

"Yet at the same time Buddhism teaches you to forget who you really are. This means you should not put any attachment to this idea of yourself that you have, and should not ever think you already understand everything there is to know about yourself.

"So, the basic philosophy is: 'understand, but do not attach and assume.'

"True zazen is mostly unconscious. This may be difficult, but keep an open mind: whenever you consciously think 'I am learning more about myself,' you stop learning more about yourself. To be at peace and Zen unconsciously without effort while doing daily tasks is true zazen. True zazen is unconscious, not any special thing. To let Zen infiltrate every part of your life and to live that life without ever consciously considering the 'I' is true zazen.

"To cultivate your own life consciously in this way takes time, and something called nin. 'Nin' is commonly translated as 'patience,' but I don't think this is correct. You have to force patience, and patience can come from a lack of acceptance. I think a better word is 'constancy.' To live a life of simplicity and detachment every single day, and through this to unconsciously become more and more true to yourself, is at the heart of Zen.

"Communication is also very important to in Zen. Our aim is always to understand the people around us, both in words and in behaviors. Behaviors? you may say. So there is a particular way to behave? Not necessarily. Buddhism teaches that you should always be straightforward and true to your thoughts and feelings. Others should work to understand how you are naturally, and you should work to understand how they are naturally. We should bring about mutual acceptance and honesty between peoples.

"And finally, we come to the concept of Nirvana, our ultimate goal. Nirvana seems quite complicated, but at its heart it means that through an empty, whole mind, we reach an understanding of the true nature of the universe. Keep in mind, this does not mean you have to give up physical things - the body and the mind are interconnected, after all. But it does mean giving the up the 'I' - the 'me.' On a conscious level. It means valuing simplicity and not falling into egotism. When your mind is completely empty and is in touch with the whole universe around you, you have achieved Nirvana and enlightenment."

* * *

"Our final section will be on what might be called 'true understanding' of Buddhism.

"First, Buddhism is a huge philosophy, but what we emphasize in Zen is practice. Finding enlightenment through actual practice. Reading scriptures, chanting sutras, sitting and bowing, those sorts of things. And of course by incorporating Zen into our daily lives. In other words, in Zen we learn by _doing_. This, also, mimics how we learn the ninja arts.

"But there is a difference. In the ninja arts, you practice toward an eventual outcome. In Zen, the minute you do, you have achieved enlightenment. The minute you do, you have achieved something, without trying to. It is meant to be a freeing method of living, not an end goal.

"Second, we come to the concept that everything changes. Everything is constantly changing in the world around us, yes, but because of this, we _ourselves_ are constantly changing. Accepting this and finding our composure within it is a way of finding Nirvana. Basically, we must accept the concept of constant change, or transiency.

"Third, we come to the idea of emptiness. This is a form of non-existence. Non-existence is very difficult to explain, but basically it means that when we have a very set system of preconceived ideas and plans for the future, we have no true understanding. But when we are skeptical and are not certain of our plans for the future, we have understanding. When we understand everything, we understand nothing. But if we understand ourselves first, and carve our own path, and then decide to understand other things, that is a form of enlightenment.

"So when you're feeling uncertainty over yourself and your future, that's a good thing. It means you are working to carve your own path, and only through that can you achieve true understanding. So understanding nothing leads to understanding everything. Thus, 'everything comes from nothing.' This is a form of non-existence.

"Fourth, we come to believing in nothing. To believe in nothing is not actually to believe in nothing." Her students stared at her. "Confusing, I know. To believe in nothing means to believe in something without form or color or substance, but which is ready to assume color and form and substance in the world all around you.

"In other words, it is to believe in a presence in the world which is not physically present. And to believe that presence is somehow everywhere, in the plants and the flowers and the people and the village."

Sakura raised her hand. "I can see what you mean, Sensei," she said. "These concepts of believing in a nothing and immortal existence could easily veer off into several different kinds of religions."

"Yes." Anko nodded. "But we don't force that on people. It's more of a philosophy - the Theory of the Forms, for example, states that everything in the world has an immortal truer form that cannot be physically seen with the eyes. For example, we can look at multiple people and know that each one is a person, even though they all look quite different. We can look at several different trees and know that each one is a tree, even though they all look quite different. It's that kind of concept.

"Fifth, there is the concept of 'attach, but do not attach.' In other words, we feel drawn toward certain things, such as flowers - we attach to them. We stray away from weeds. The way around this is not to disconnect from flowers, but to connect with weeds. To attach to hate as well as love, lust as well as romance. This universal attachment then becomes a non-attachment, which is a Buddha concept. You see?"

"Sensei," Sakura said, "I don't feel like I'm ever going to understand all of this."

Ino looked equally despairing, though Hinata looked thoughtful.

"Look back in your notes. That takes you back to the teaching of constancy. We practice the things that lead to enlightenment, and therefore we are enlightened. Do you remember? That is all it takes, is to try.

"But that leads well into my next lesson, which is calmness. During zazen, you sit quietly and take in the world around you; you feel nothing and you try for nothing. Calmness is easy then. But calmness becomes harder in our daily lives. The thing to remember is that usually, we are trying for something. In life, we try for things. Well, in trying, we have already achieved. That is what Buddhism teaches. And that is how you find calmness in Buddhist daily life.

"One of my last lessons to you: once more, I would like to emphasize that you learn all this by practicing. Past a certain extent, studying Buddhist philosophy is pointless. The philosophy is not the point. The practice - the weekly zazen, the daily life, is the point. This is an understanding that can only be attained through practice and time. So next time something happens, remember your Zen teachings and apply them. Do your weekly practice. Through this, you will achieve calm and come far.

"You go beyond consciousness - just to sit, just to do, just to try, that is enough. In essence, it is simple. Buddhist enlightenment is attained through simply doing. Do not become proud, do not become discouraged, do not struggle. Simply try as best you can. That is all we ask."

* * *

This, like tea ceremony, came with time. But slowly, the girls became quieter, calmer, less judgmental, more compassionate, more open minded, and more mature as they tried without effort to practice Zen in their everyday lives - and zazen once a week. Hinata even continued on to doing Zen meditation every night before going to sleep as a way to calm her mind down.

They each internalized the teachings in different ways - Hinata perhaps with more fervency than the others - and over time, they came far.

* * *

"Now," said Anko, "we get to the physical stuff. We get to sex."


	15. Chapter 15

_Author's Notes:_

Warning - I get very graphically detailed about sex, menstruation, and female anatomy here. If that offends your innocent virgin eyes, look away.

I knew most of this stuff already, but I need to give out a few credits for articles and information sources that helped me figure out how to put all this shit into words.

The website "beinggirl" has a great series of posts about tampons and menstruating. It also has a simple, easy to understand, if skimpy sex explanation for girls.

"teens webmd" has a great article on female shaving.

"Your Private Parts: A Lesson in Female Anatomy" by Theresa O'Rourke was a good read.

"Women Don't Pee Out of Their Vaginas, and Other Little-Known Facts" by Ceridwen Morris was funny AND informative.

"Sex Education: 30 Things You Should Know About Sex" from "indiatimes" was interesting.

* * *

15.

Anko paused, looking uncharacteristically hesitant, once they'd finished exercising for the morning a few days later.

"I'm not sure how to introduce this next set of lessons," she admitted, "because they're a little different from what we've been doing thus far. Let me lay it out for you. I'm going off road, so to speak. None of the things I'm about to teach you are in the official Academy curriculum, but in my opinion they're all vital lessons to being a kunoichi.

"First, I'm going to teach you about several aspects of being a woman that men don't have to deal with - specifically, periods and bouncy boobs when running or fighting. I'm going to teach you how to deal with those. How to wear the right undergarments when running or fighting. That kind of thing."

Ino raised her hand. "Are we going to learn how it's different fighting for a woman than it is for a man?" Sakura and Hinata also looked curious.

"That's a very good question, and a good point. It _is_ different doing taijutsu for a woman, for example, than it is for a man. Women have less bodily strength, but on the other hand they tend to be more agile. But that's not for this section. I'll teach you that when you start learning taijutsu. If I tried teaching it to you now, you would have no context.

"No, what I'm focusing on right now are the physical and sexual aspects of being a woman. So, to summarize the game plan:

"Periods and sports wear.

"Then basic sex ed - stuff you need to know about how to have safe, healthy sex.

"Next comes sexual seduction techniques.

"Then comes how to deal with rape out in the field, whether on a fighting-type mission or an infiltration-type mission.

"And finally, I'm going to teach you how to deal with the toll sexual playacting can take. While we're at it, I'm going to teach you about how to handle the psychological tolls of killing and masking emotion. All three are interrelated.

"And that is what we are going to do. Any questions?"

There weren't. But the girls looked excited.

"Okay," said Anko. "Then let's dive in."

* * *

"First," said Anko, holding up a few bottles, "there are several different kinds of all-day medications created specifically for kunoichi that deal with period cramps. You take one, and in theory it should relieve pain for the rest of the day. Working out while you're on your period is hard at first, but I would like to add that most women actually report feeling better during their period once they've started working out. You just have to get up and motivate yourself beforehand.

"I would recommend writing down and trying all these medications now while you're still in training, and seeing which one works best for you. Then cling to that med like it's gospel.

"I would also recommend tampons during your period, instead of pads. Even when you're not planning to go out swimming, or to go out on a mission, you never know when something might come up if you're a ninja. So just to be safe, I would use tampons. They get in the way less during running, swimming, etc.

"So here's my lesson about tampons. I'm gonna give you a visual. Sorry if that grosses you out."

They followed her into the bathroom, and she showed them.

"Open the wrapper and remove the tampon. Gently pull out the inner tube, toward the end of the removal string, until it comes to a stop. Either sit on the toilet with your knees wide apart, or stand with one leg on the toilet. Relax, take a few deep breaths - trust me, it'll make things easier if you're not all tense.

"Use one hand to hold the tampon at the bottom of the outer tube. Place the rounded tip of the tampon to your vaginal opening and point the tip toward your lower back. The removal string should be facing away from your body.

"Take a few breaths and gently twist the applicator back and forth into the vagina, directing it toward your lower back. As soon as your fingers touch your body, the applicator is in the right place.

"While holding the outer tube of the applicator, push the smaller tube with your pointer finger all the way into the bigger tube until it stops. As you're doing this, the tampon slides out of the applicator and into your vagina. If it's uncomfortable, the tampon is likely inserted incorrectly or not inserted all the way in—you should remove it and start over with a new one.

"With the tampon comfortably inside you (and the removal string hanging outside your body), carefully remove the applicator, place it in the tampon's wrapper, and throw it in the trash. Then wash your hands.

"Don't forget to remove the tampon before inserting a new one. When it is time to remove it, pull the string downwards at the same angle you used to insert the tampon. You can either flush the used tampon down the toilet or wrap it in tissue paper and put it in the trash."

The visuals helped their understanding, even if they were super gross. (Hinata was blushing constantly throughout this entire section of lessons - but after a while she got more matter of fact and used to it.) Once Anko had removed and washed her hands - she was still almost eerily calm and nonchalant - she told them a few other details they should know.

"Tampons should not hurt. You should not feel any discomfort at all. If you feel discomfort, it's not inserted properly. In fact, you should not even feel the tampon. Past a few inches inside the woman's vagina, the woman can't feel anything anyway - that's why it's pointless for guys to compare whose dick is bigger. Girls can't really tell the difference."

There was some giggling.

"I understand the immaturity, but you're going to have to get over it," Anko added bluntly. "We're going to be talking a _lot_ about sex over the next couple of weeks, and that's something kunoichi just have to get used to.

"Now, a tampon should be changed every four to eight hours. Never wait longer than eight hours to change a tampon.

"There are different sizes of tampons. There are also different sizes of pads. Buy several different kinds and keep them stocked with you - then use the absorbency level you need for what kind of flow you have that month. That's what all the different sizes and colors in that long row at the grocery store are about.

"There are also different kinds of applicators - cardboard and plastic. I would experiment now and see which kind you like better. That's more of a personal preference sort of thing.

"Tampons can be worn overnight, but always change in the morning.

"There is a thing called vaginal discharge, and it happens when a woman is not on her period. You know that clear liquid you sometimes get on your underwear? That wet feeling you sometimes get when you're not on your period? Totally normal. But use a pantiliner instead of a tampon for that. I would recommend wearing a pantiliner every day - you can even wear them in addition to tampons when you're on your period, if you'd like.

"Now, on this same note, they have these nifty little period kits for kunoichi at the grocery store." Anko picked one up and showed them hers. "See - here you have places for tampons and pads, and little slots where you can put different pain-suppressants. Buy one of these and put it in your equipment pouch alongside your weapons - healthy reproductive organs are just as important as knives, okay?

"What else do you need to know… oh yeah. Always wear deodorant. Every day. That's just a general adult thing. Oh, and wear deodorant. Not antiperspirant. If you can, find a deodorant without an antiperspirant component. Sweating is healthy - it helps us cool down while working out. Don't suppress the sweat. But it's okay to wear deodorant while on missions so you don't stink.

"I think you've already learned this, but never wear perfume. Not only does it get nasty when you sweat a lot and work out, but it could give you away during moments on ninja missions when you have to be stealthy.

"Other things to wear while working out: sports bras and cotton underwear. Cotton underwear will keep you from getting a yeast infection, while sports bras will give you that nice support so your boobs aren't painful and all over the place. On the note of underwear, always wear loose, breathable attire with lots of extra fabric - don't chafe your vagina while working out. No thongs or lacy little things. Sorry. And wear seamless styles - they won't show under your clothes, but more importantly, they're less irritating on your skin while you're running around.

"Now let's talk about shaving. It's important for a kunoichi to keep the legs and underarms shaved, just because part of being a female ninja is being seductive and that is seen as an attractive feature. I would not, however, recommend shaving your pubic hair. Not only because that would mean putting a razor near your genitals, but because pubic hair is there for a reason - it helps the genital area from getting bacterial infections, acting as a kind of protective coat.

"But for legs and underarms, I would recommend disposable and safety razors. They cut closer to your skin and contour better. Always use shaving cream with disposable and safety razors, to avoid nicks and cuts and keep your skin from being irritated. I would also recommend only shaving while taking a shower or bath. Water hydrates and softens the skin, making it easier to shave. So wet your legs (or armpits), then moisturize them with the shaving cream, then shave. I'll give you a demonstration."

And she put up her leg, turned on the water in the bathtub, and got out a razor and shaving cream, demonstrating for them.

"See what I'm doing? I'm shaving in the direction of hair growth. Don't rush, and be careful around the knee and ankle areas - they're most prone to cuts. After shaving, use a lotion or moisturizer - this will help keep your skin from drying out.

"Some things to know about shaving," Anko continued once she'd wiped her legs off. "Despite common myth, shaving does not make your hair grow back thicker. Also, it is normal to feel a bit of 'stubble' after you've shaved - that doesn't mean you shaved wrong or incompletely. (On an added side note, you can also have blemishes on the skin that are not unhealthy. Just because you have blemishes on your skin, that doesn't mean there's something wrong.) Anyway, there's no need to worry, because no one can see the stubble until your hair starts to grow out longer again. In general, it is normal to shave every few days or once a week. Obviously, out on survival missions shaving is not the most important thing.

"Now. I'm going to take you out shopping and we're going to buy all these things for you for the first time together."

And so they went out shopping. The girls bought tampons, pantiliners, and pain suppressants, one period kit each, shaving materials, loose cotton underwear, and they tried on different sports bras and found their correct fit and size. Anko emphasized that comfort was most important, and so they bought based on that.

* * *

"Now we get to the sex ed section of our learning. Here are some things I think you need to know about sex and how to have safe, healthy sex:

"During puberty, your body is getting ready to become a parent. So all the things you're going through right now - acne, growth spurts, body hair, wet dreams, menstruating, breasts budding - they're actually perfectly normal. Wet dreams indicate growing sex drive, while breast budding indicates that the breasts are becoming ready to nurse a potential child.

"Don't freak out. None of you are having children yet," said Anko, amused, as their eyes widened. "But there are still some things you need to know.

"First - a lot of girls figure it out intuitively for themselves, but you masturbate by rubbing the area directly above the vagina in circular movements. I'm not telling you to masturbate. I'm not telling you not to masturbate. I'm bein' all fucking Zen and giving you information and letting you do what you will with it.

"Here's a chart of female anatomy, and a picture of male anatomy. I know, it's gross. Look at it anyway.

"Without even spreading your legs, you'll see your pubic mound and two folds of skin called the labia majora (the outer lips). Both contain layers of fatty tissue that protect your clitoris and vagina. While pleasure reception is typically weak in this area, manual play can help increase the signal. Rubbing the pubic mound and outer lips readies the clitoris for stimulation.

"Now, if you gently push apart the outer lips, you'll reveal a thinner set of lips called the labia minora. They are loaded with blood vessels, nerve endings, and secreting glands. To the naked eye, the glands may look like tiny bumps. They release secretions that actually help to separate your lips for easier penetration by a penis.

"When you spread the labia minora apart, you'll encounter Bartholin's glands (which are microscopic, so you can't actually see them with the naked eye) on each side of your vaginal opening. As you become aroused, these glands lubricate the outer portion of the vaginal canal. They typically release only a small amount of moisture, which is why so many women need plenty of foreplay to stay wet.

"Here's where the clitoris comes in. She's that proud little pink nub, roughly the size of a pencil eraser, and she's there only for sexual pleasure. She has roughly 8,000 nerve endings, the largest number found in the entire body and double the amount found in the glans of a man's penis. That makes her very sensitive to stimulation from the man's penis. What you probably didn't know is that she's got legs. Literally. We see only the head of the clitoris, but it has a body that's shaped like a wishbone, with two legs (called crura) that reach three inches into the vagina, just under the pubic mound and straight into G-spot territory (but more on that later). This gives the clitoris incredible sexual reach and depth.

"The best way to make the clitoris happy is through direct, consistent, yet gentle oral or manual stimulation. The traditional method, called missionary, is for the man to be above the woman like this - oh look another chart! But it's also quite responsive to woman-on-top and during a twist on missionary called the coital alignment technique. In this position, your guy enters you as he normally would during missionary, with two simple tweaks: He inches his body up until his shoulders rest above yours and the base of his penis directly hits your clitoris. Then he grinds in a circular motion instead of the typical thrusting in and out which the penis usually does, which creates more friction against the clitoris.

"Friction can feel fabulous, but sometimes it does become too much. As you head toward climax, the clitoris swells in size, which can make friction painful. Some women report that clitoral stimulation at this point can feel like an irritating tickle, and in some cases, like a really sharp shock. To protect itself, the clitoris retreats back under the protective awning of the clitoral hood. Often, simply lightening up the stimulation a bit will make it feel good again.

"An overly sensitive clitoris is your body's way of saying, 'Let the vagina soak up some of the sexual spotlight, please!' The four- to seven-inch canal (it varies depending on the woman) can't hold a candle to the clitoris in the nerve-ending department. But it does boast a bunch. The first two to three inches of the vagina have hundreds of nerve endings and are majorly sensitive. That's why when a woman is giving birth and the baby is crowning, coming out of the canal head-first, they call it the 'ring of fire.' To stimulate these first few inches of your vaginal canal, try shorter, shallower thrusting during sex.

"Deeper into the vaginal walls, you'll find one of the vagina's trickiest trump cards: the G-spot. If the clitoris is famous, the G-spot is infamous. Not every woman can tap into its potential, but if you do, the rewards are phenomenal.

"The G-spot is a spongy area about the size of a nickel, and it's located an inch or two into the anterior wall of the vagina, just under the pubic mound-and you've got to feel it to believe it. It has bumpy, knotty striations similar to a walnut, and it demands a hands-on, tough-love approach. The G-spot's nerves are contained in fattier tissue, so you have to provide deeper, firmer pressure to stimulate it. For starters, you should already be really turned on before it's accessed. That's because the tissue doesn't swell and make itself known until you've enjoyed proper foreplay.

"G-spot stimulation also calls for a tag-team approach. You can hit it by having your guy enter you from behind, but the best bet is to have him go down on you with his tongue and fingers. With his mouth on your clitoris, have him use his fingers in a come-hither motion to apply firm, rhythmic pressure to the G-spot. Put those two together and it's like they're high-fiving each other for a job well done.

"If you haven't had what you think is a G-spot orgasm, don't stress over it. (For the record, orgasms that originate in this zone generally feel expansive and deep, while orgasms that start in the clitoris often feel more acute and intense.) Many women say the G-spot enhances their orgasm. They wouldn't isolate it and say, 'Wow, I just had a G-spot orgasm.' It's more like, 'I just had an orgasm, and what he was doing felt really good.' That's why most vibrators come with a clitoral stimulator and a G-spot stimulator. They work in tandem to create what's commonly referred to as a blended orgasm. While you can have a clitoral orgasm without G-spot stimulation, it's a little trickier to achieve the reverse.

"Now let's take a look inside. These are where your eggs are. These are the fallopian tubes, which the egg travels down to get to the uterus, which is where babies and also menstruation first come to life. The baby grows in the uterus and travels out the uterus through the vaginal canal.

"Menstruation happens because an egg heads down your fallopian tubes once every month, and your uterus creates a bloody cushion for the egg to latch onto. Most times, the egg doesn't fertilize, so the uterus sheds its unneeded bloody coating.

"But pregnancy happens when an egg _is_ fertilized. Here's how that works: To get really technical with ya, during sexual intercourse, the man's penis is inserted into the woman's vagina. After a while, the man ejaculates (during orgasm). At this time, the fluid (called semen) containing millions of sperm is released from the opening at the tip of the penis. Some of the sperm 'swim' through the vagina into the uterus and then into the fallopian tubes. A sperm connects with an egg and that's fertilization. During sexual intercourse, the woman may also experience the feeling of orgasm, but it's not necessary for fertilization to take place. The fertilized egg attaches itself to the uterus wall, where it grows, hence why women get bigger when they get pregnant.

"Fertilization can also happen through 'artificial insemination.' With artificial insemination, the man has already released the sperm. The sperm is injected into the vagina—usually by a doctor or nurse. The other type of fertilization is called 'in vitro.' This is actually a medical procedure. Eggs are taken from a woman's body first. In the lab, sperm are added to the eggs. Some fertilized eggs begin to develop into an embryo. One or more embryos are then injected into the woman's uterus. Women who have difficulty getting pregnant may use in vitro fertilization because it increases the chances for pregnancy.

"When an egg is fertilized and latches onto the uterus lining, the uterus doesn't shed. Instead, the baby grows inside the uterus and then is pushed out the bottom end, so to speak. By the way, giving birth hurts a lot. So if you've had sex recently and then afterward missed your period… Oops, right? Especially when sexually active, but always in general, keep a calendar reminding you about your period every thirty days. There are pregnancy tests you can take to determine whether or not you are pregnant."

"Anko-sensei." Sakura frowned and raised her hand. "What about sex without getting pregnant?"

"The most common types of ways to keep from getting pregnant are birth control pills or condoms. If you're sexually active, take birth control pills regularly, and always insist that the man wear a condom unless you want to get pregnant. There are also female condoms you can wear, and when you insert them right side down the ring can push against the clitoris and give greater pleasure. Pro tip. Condoms can help prevent the spread of STDs, sexually transmitted diseases, so they're important to use anyway unless you really trust your partner and know him well. I would add that neither option is completely fail safe - there's still a small chance you might get pregnant. You take that risk when you have sex."

"So what happens to women who get pregnant after an infiltration mission?" said Ino, frowning.

"That's up to them. They go off missions for a while. Some keep the baby, some give it up for adoption, and some abort it." Anko shrugged. "All options are available.

"Some other things you should know about sex:

"We do not pee out of our vagina. We have sex and give birth through the vagina, and poop out the anus. But though it looks like you're peeing out of your vagina, you're not. You're peeing out of your urethra. It's a tiny hole above the vagina and below the clitoris that leads to the bladder, where pee forms. Right here, in this part of the diagram. Kind of like how your anus leads to your rectum. Get it?

"'No penetration' does not mean that you are safe from pregnancy. Pregnancy can occur even when a partner ejaculates or pre-ejaculates near or on your vulva. Irrespective of the fact that you engage in vaginal sex or not, naked body contact around this region could lead to pregnancy. The pull-out method also still has a one in five chance of leading to pregnancy.

"You can still get pregnant if you have sex during your menstrual cycle. If you have vaginal sex during your periods, you can get pregnant. Sperms have a life ranging from one day to one week, thus meaning that a sperm could fertilize an egg when you ovulate. Even when you are menstruating when you decide to have sex, it is a must to use a condom, as it is the proven way to prevent sexually transmitted diseases and unwanted pregnancies.

"You can still have sex while menstruating. It doesn't hurt anything, and in some cases it actually feels great.

"Clean your genitals. You want me to say that again? _Clean your genitals._ They're like any other part of your body. They need cleaning!

"Women feel just as much pleasure during sex as men, if not more, and are also capable of masturbating, having wet dreams, achieving orgasm, and getting aroused. Girls' genitalia is made from the exact same tissue as boys' genitalia. So the whole 'guys are incapable of controlling their sex drives and all girls are looking for is love' thing doesn't really fly.

"Condoms have expiry dates. Always check one before use.

"Masturbating does not lead to health problems like impotence or blindness. Fun fact.

"No rough sex during pregnancy. It can harm the fetus. Gentle sex is fine, though. Just be careful of the amniotic sac inside the woman holding the baby in place.

"Sex, like physical exercise, can help with pain by releasing endorphins. Sex also is shown to have positive psychological effects. It also eases stress, lowers blood pressure, and studies have shown it appears to lower your risk of contracting certain kinds of diseases. Sex is good, is what I'm saying.

"I think that's enough for today. You all looked a bit overwhelmed." Anko still seemed amused. "We _will_ be having a test on this stuff, because I feel it's important to know and remember. So start studying!"


	16. Chapter 16

_Author's Notes:_

There is also sex in this chapter. Deal with it.

More article credits -

Mansi Kohli's "10 Tips On How to Drink All Night Long Without Getting Drunk" was very good.

The website "divinecaroline" had an article full of tips on how to give a good massage. This article was useful.

Cosmopolitan also helped me in certain areas of this chapter, as absurd as that sounds.

The website "hopeforhealing" has a great article entitled "Things Not to Say to A Rape Victim."

* * *

16.

"So," said Anko, "now we get to the big one. How to sexually seduce a guy."

Anko stopped and laughed. All three girls were leaning forward eagerly.

"I get it, I get it, they're important lessons," she said. "Okay, so, I'm going to take you through this step by step - from foreplay all the way to what happens in the bedroom. It's a slow process. Sexually seducing a man can take all night. It starts with looking good, but it doesn't end there - looking good is only one part of the scheme.

"We start with games.

"Games are important," she said, when the girls looked confused. "Games are an excellent starter, a nice background to conversation, and a way to be playful and have fun. How you play the game depends on the character of the guy you're seducing. You should always find that kind of thing out beforehand. Sort of like how you research his culture? Well, you also research his personality.

"For example, say you want to seduce a guy who sees women as weak and needs his ego stroked. I know your gut instinct is probably to beat that asshole into next Tuesday, but that's not going to get you what you need from him. So the best strategy there is to pretend to be bad at the game and lose, asking him for advice and tips and making it look like you need to rely on him.

"But other guys can be really turned on by an intelligent girl. They like a challenge. They like someone who can stand up to them. That's why I say how you play the games depends on what kind of man you're seducing. But the end game is always to act playful, mischievous, and fun-loving.

"So I'm going to teach you games, both traditional and flirtatious. I'm going to show you how to act during the games first, and then you mirror that back to me when it's your turn. Get it?"

And so she took them through lessons in how to play various games, including chess, cards, shogi, and go. She took them through word games and games of truth or dare. To get good at them was the first step. Then to make them flirtatious was the next step. To lace truth or dare with innuendo or sexual truths (made-up or real) was one way, to turn the game into a "strip" game was another way.

And then there was how they played the games themselves. Whether they were good or bad, how they laughed and had fun and did the coy, shy mischief game. Anko didn't recommend teasing - "It could deflate their ego. It's not safe."

But she did teach them in the process about how to carry on a conversation and how to flirt. "A true seductress can carry on a conversation with even the most taciturn man," Anko said. "By asking them questions about themselves, and by making statements that lead into questions. The whole point is to keep the exchange going. Then to hint at your own sexuality or compliment the man on his subtly is the next step. It's a fine art."

This art, they acquired through practice.

Hinata struggled most with expressing her sensuality and carrying on conversation. "If it helps, take that smooth, dignified elegance and make it work for you," said Anko. "You don't have to be very overt. Just hint at things, give slight, shy smiles, be soft spoken and sweet. Pay lots of compliments. Take your sweet shyness and make it work for you, and do not lose that native elegance."

Ino, on the other hand, was great with being extroverted, bubbly, playful, and seductive. She took to it like a duck to water. It was like she had found her home. She was great at bringing people out of their shells and getting around any armor and just having fun.

Sakura was excellent at games - naturally intellectual, she immediately excelled at games and puzzles. Her problem was that she was often too serious. Anko was at a loss with this at first, but finally she said, "You don't have to be all big smiles and high voices. You could be one of the small, hidden smiles and the low, sensual voice. The hidden playfulness. Remember how I said men love mystery? Be mysterious and sensual, mesmerizing."

Sakura also struggled somewhat with this at first, mainly because she lacked the kind of overt self confidence Ino had. But when she took Anko-sensei's previous advice and pretended she was a beautiful, sensuous, mysterious lady, naturally, she became one. And through this, she learned to lighten up a little and have a bit of fun.

These personas even began to bleed into their other arts, like dancing and tea ceremony.

"It helps," said Anko, "that these acts are not entirely a lie. They're not untrue to your regular personalities. Rather, in Zen style, they are a persona created by your real personality. So you are being yourself, even when you're not."

* * *

"Our next lesson," said Anko, "is in how to drink without getting drunk. Alcohol is the ultimate social lubricant, the great secret in making male ninja do stupid things like have sex and blurt out secrets to hot women they don't know. You can keep filling their glass and distract them with games and conversation and have them drinking all night and get them drunk. But how do you drink all night without getting drunk, and thus keep your head?

"Here are some tips:

"Drink the milder drinks - don't just take shot after shot of the harder stuff. It's hard to get drunk on a night of beer or wine, for example, if you only have, say, one glass per hour. But shots are small yet have the power of a whole beer or glass of wine, and if you just keep taking them, you're going to get completely shit-faced. Also, avoid mixed drinks - there could be like five beers or glasses of wine in one mixed drink. You just don't fucking know.

"Also, eat and drink glasses of water while you're drinking alcohol. Don't make it very obvious. Don't eat a goddamn five-course meal in front of the guy. Make it subtle, a sip of water here and there, another handful of snacks from the bowl.

"Also, draw your glass of alcohol out for as long as possible. Sip at it as slowly as it is humanly possible to sip. If you don't have to keep him in the room for very long, you could even just pretend to drink - you might not even have to drink at all. But do definitely keep refilling his drink.

"Avoid pairing sugary drinks with your alcohol, or sugar in general with your alcohol. A spike in blood sugar levels combined with alcohol is not a good thing if you want to stay sober.

"Drink a cup of orange juice right before going to bed, which will help you avoid a hangover the next morning.

"I'm also going to add in this lesson, since it doesn't go anywhere in particular. Say you need to wear kimono, but you also need to slit a guy's throat while he's asleep. Where do you hide your weapons?

"Either in the pocket sleeve of your kimono, under the obi of your kimono, or in your hair bun is probably the best bet. Any way you do it, you'll have the weapon with you at all times. Make sure it's small and unobtrusive and looks decorative in nature."

* * *

"Next I'm going to teach you about massage. You're going to practice by giving massages to each other. If you're being massaged: let the masseuse know when anything is not pleasurable. If you're the masseuse: follow my damn instructions. Ya got that?"

"Yes, Anko-sensei!"

"Okay, so I'm going to focus on shoulder, back, and neck massage. This is one of the most relaxing types of massages, and it's also great because you can ask the guy to take his shirt off which means he's already half-naked and some of your work is done for you. Woohoo.

"Some tips for a good massage:

"Learn how much pressure to apply. In general, you should be firm enough that you feel and see the muscle move, yet not firm enough for it to be uncomfortable or painful. Learning this is going to take some trial and error.

"Don't go fast and irritate the man's skin (and yours). Focus on slow, even strokes.

"Never press on bones or joints. You'd think this would be a no-brainer, but you'd be surprised.

"There are special tools you can use to add emphasis to your massage. I've laid a few of them out here for you. Basically, you take these tools and you use them to roll over the muscles in the person's shoulders and back. Buy some of your own eventually if you'd like.

"There are also warm oils you can use to rub onto the person's back, neck, and shoulders. When possible, you should always use some of the person's favorite scents.

"Put a lot of focus on the shoulders. We carry so much tension in our shoulders - especially as ninja, which is a stressful job. The more stressful the ninja's job is, the more you focus on the shoulders. You shoulder massage by grabbing both shoulders from behind and using the thumbs to push down, slowly and gently, on the muscles. Make sure they move underneath your fingers.

"For the back, put your hands on their hips. Those two thick, stiff columns your thumbs land on are the muscles responsible for keeping you upright. They're made to be tight or else you'd fall over, but rubbing them can relax a painful lower back.

"Now this is when the fun part happens. Next you straddle him. If you really want to go all-sex, you can be naked or in nothing but a towel while you do this. While straddling him, position one hand on his lower back muscle, with fingers pointing away from his spine. Place your other hand on top of the first hand. Use your body weight to push down slowly, pressing the heels of your hands into the muscle like you're pushing it away from his spine. Try one hand on either side of the spine; rock back and forth. If he has trouble lying on his stomach, place a pillow under his hips to ease the pressure.

"And then comes the neck. While he's on his stomach or sitting up, gently place your palm on the back of his neck, creating light pressure with your thumb on one side and four fingers on the other. Slowly pull your hand toward the back of the neck while squeezing your thumb and fingers together around those neck muscles. (Avoid pressure toward the front of the neck so you don't choke him.)

"Now, you're going to watch me and do what I do. The best way to learn massage is by watching and doing. And we will take turns giving each other massages.

"Nudity not included. Sorry if you're into that."

Anko grinned as the girls blushed and glared.

* * *

"And now we get to the strip tease," said Anko. "First, it should all be atmospheric - lights dimmed, for example, candles, soft sheets. If you have time to decorate the room you'll be having sex in, do it before the night of. That way the ambience can be right from the massage and all the way through into the sex.

"As you strip, make it slow, playful, and painful. String it out. Make him want you. That's really one of the best pieces of advice I can give.

"Now, as to the rest: you're going to practice this. Yes I am serious. I'm not going to tell you to practice sex, but I am going to tell you to practice stripping. And there will be absolutely no immaturity while you're doing this, and your teammates are going to tell you honestly and politely how well they think you did. Are we clear?"

There was a surprised silence.

"Very good. Among the skills you are going to learn: the strut, the gliding of your fingers (not your palms) across your skin, the occasional well-timed eye contact, the arched back, and the actual techniques involved in taking off your clothes in a slow and seductive way.

"So. Let's begin."

"I don't know how she did it, but she made that sound really threatening," Ino muttered to a surprised and uncertain Sakura and Hinata.

* * *

"The first tip I am going to tell you when it comes to sex is to just ask him. Ask him how he likes it, what he likes, what he fantasizes about. One thing I cannot over-emphasize is be open to kink. Don't feel like you have to be embarrassed about something, though being a little shy can really play up the whole seductive factor. If he likes it, he likes it. It's that simple. At least pretend you like it, too. If he wants it rough, yank his hair and bruise him. If he wants it gentle, be slow and sweet.

"Obviously, this only applies to infiltration missions. In your personal life, never do anything you're not comfortable with.

"The biggest piece of advice I can give you besides that is to be interactive. Don't just lay there. Play with little parts of him, stroke, kiss, and fondle different parts of him - hickies can be good. Be interactive, is the general tone to my next advice.

"And I'm going to teach you about certain techniques, including how to give a blow job and a hand job - _well._ Anyone can do one, but the thing is to do one _well._

"The thing about this part of lessons is that there's only so much I can teach you by having you read or by talking. Some of this will only come through experience, and I can't force you into that, nor do I want to.

"So aside from the big lessons, pieces of advice, and techniques, I'm not sure if I have much to offer you in this section."

* * *

"There are a few essential things you need to know about killing and rape out in the field, and that's the point of this last lesson.

"First, let's talk about rape.

"Women do sometimes orgasm during rape. That doesn't mean you enjoyed the experience, and it doesn't mean there's anything wrong with you, so remember that.

"Never undervalue your own traumatic experiences of rape. Every time a man forces you into a sex you haven't agreed to, no matter what the circumstances, that's rape and that is traumatic.

"Rape sometimes happens to kunoichi out in the field, whether on infiltration or battle type missions. But it was never the rape victim's fault. Don't start playing the blame game and say 'oh, well, if I'd done this' or 'I should have done that.' No. It's his fault for being a disgusting human being. It's not some divine punishment, and it's never your fault.

"All people think 'this is never going to happen to me.' Well, surprise. It does happen to some people, and they didn't think they were going to be a part of the statistic either.

"There's no set time period for 'getting over rape,' just like there's no set time period to 'getting over grief.' Take as much time as you need to heal. Also remember that studies have shown false rape reports only happen 2 percent of the time, so no matter how unlikely another person's rape story sounds to you, there's a 98 percent chance they're telling the truth.

"Please remember that you are more likely to be raped by someone you know intimately than by someone you're unfamiliar with.

"And now, let's talk about murder.

"Eventually, out in the field, you will have to kill someone. It's going to happen. Ninja kill people.

"The one iron rule I want you to remember is: _Did you have to do it?_ If it was a part of your mission, if they were doing bad things, if they were trying to hurt people important to you, then yes you absolutely had to do it.

"And it's an awful thing, but that's the truth. If you had to do it, if you were ordered to do something or trying to protect someone important to you, you do not need to feel guilty or suicidal because of what you did. But if you do feel that way, seek help immediately, even if it's just from a friend.

"Also remember that feeling bad about killing someone proves you're not some robotic, emotionless monster. Feelings of remorse are not always a bad thing.

"Another thing to remember when it comes to killing: the remorse shouldn't set in immediately. The horrible feelings and memories are usually delayed till after the adrenaline has died down. Then they kick up. So be prepared for that.

"One last thing I feel I need to talk about: there is a psychological toll that playacting can take. Unfortunately, playacting is an essential part of being a ninja and especially a kunoichi. You must mask your emotion out in the field, and mask your true personality when infiltrating. And this will be very difficult.

"The best piece of advice I can offer you is: wait until you're in a private place, and then find some way to vent or admit your true feelings. Even if it just means you're talking or crying to yourself. And after hard missions, take lots of relaxing me time. Journal about your feelings, do something that makes you feel good, relax and take a breather. That kind of thing. Do not just pitch yourself immediately back into training. This also applies when you have lost someone - relax and have some down time first.

"We are actually going to go through a section where you each find hobbies - plenty of them - that are either self expressive or have little do with being a ninja. And that is why."

There was a solemn tone to the room by the end. Anko hoped she was heading off anything too horrible coming up in the future.

* * *

"You will only be sent out on infiltration missions as an 18 and 19 year old, adult shinobi," said Anko. "But you are now prepared." And here, she gave a small smile. "Well done."


	17. Chapter 17

17.

Sometimes, being in an all-girls team had other perks.

Ino, Hinata, and Sakura all met on Anko's doorstep with sleeping bags one night. She opened the door and they beamed and shouted as one, "WE'VE ARRIVED!"

"Come on in," said Anko, opening up the door. She and Kakashi had moved into their own house together, which meant they were in a much bigger space than the apartment hole Anko used to live in, the living room vast and carpeted with a television set and a fireplace.

It also meant Kakashi shuffled out to get a snack and saw them standing there excitedly.

"We are invading your house," said Hinata, bowing, with a pleasant smile.

"Yeah, so don't come out," commanded Sakura, who looked highly amused, hand on her hip.

"Or we'll castrate you!" Ino added with far too much enthusiasm.

"Don't have to tell me twice. I have no interest in joining a girls' sleepover party," said Kakashi, deadpan, shuffling back into the bedroom. He stopped beside Anko. "When I come back out tomorrow, the place won't even be recognizable, will it?"

"Nope!" Anko patted him on the shoulder. "Have fun masturbating alone tonight, honey."

"Eh?! Eww!" squealed the students. "I thought he didn't care!" cried Sakura.

"I was lying. _I will secretly be in my room crying all night._ " Kakashi, his eyes wide, inched slowly into the bedroom and then shut the door.

"DON'T USE UP ALL THE TISSUES!" Anko screamed after him. "IF YOU DO I'LL KICK YOUR ASS!"

"What have we done?" said Sakura flatly.

"Yeah. They are _way_ too made for each other," Ino muttered.

Hinata was smiling in good-natured amusement, at peace.

"Okay, kids. Got a present for ya. Your congratulations for making it this far in your ninja training is…! Drumroll, please." Anko held up three wrapped presents proudly.

Ino did a drumroll on the nearby kitchen counter, and Anko unveiled… three boxes full of fuzzy dorky animal slippers. One had piggies, one had puppies, one had froggies.

She pointed down at her own feet. "Mine have purple snakes with their tongues sticking out," she said.

The girls all immediately gasped, massing forward, oohing and aahing over the slippers. Ino took the piggies because she had a sense of humor, Sakura took the froggies because she thought they were cute, and they all agreed Hinata deserved the puppies because she was the sweetest.

So they changed into their pajamas and fuzzy slippers and the slumber party began.

First, they crafted a living room fort. They used blankets and pillows to make the living room into a kind of fort with their sleeping bags laid out in the middle. This meant lots of Sakura ordering people where to put this and that, bickering, passive aggressive disagreeing with Sakura from Hinata, and Ino standing up on a high perch and screaming, "IF YOU DO NOT FINISH THE PHARAOH'S TOMB BY MIDNIGHT, YOU SHALL ALL BE WHIPPED!"

" _And_ we'll have to enjoy it!" Anko called brightly, and set them all laughing.

"Sensei, you're messing with my delusions of grandeur over here!" Ino called back.

Once the fort was finally made to everyone's satisfaction, the crafts began. This was Hinata's favorite part. They got glitter all over their hands and all over the living room making glitter balloons to hang from the ceiling, painted eye masks to put on over their eyes (Sakura painted hers with fanciful colorful swirls all around the eyeholes), and they gave each other manicures and facial masks. This meant lots of trying to figure out directions, with a healthy smattering of, "If you don't get this right I'll kill you. But no pressure or anything."

Then once they were all decorated up, they played Mad Libs and Cards Against Humanity. Anko and Ino had fun with this one, but Sakura was the true master of words. She had to bite back the urge to laugh at practically every round, smirking in satisfaction as one or another of her absurdities won each time.

"This game is for terrible people!" Hinata exclaimed, smiling despite herself, as they played Cards Against Humanity.

"Hell yeah it is!" said Ino enthusiastically. "Nice job, by the way, Sakura, that was impressively demonic."

"Thank you, thank you."

"It is for terrible people and that's why I love this game!" Anko cheered, pumping her fists.

After that, Anko commanded that they all play Twister with gobs of colored peanut butter on each square until one of them finally slipped and landed in a bunch of peanut butter. "If we do not do this you are no longer allowed to slumber party," were her exact words. So they did, laughing hysterically and trying not to fall the entire time.

Then when Sakura finally fell and they all trooped off to share the shower, they left a trail of peanut butter leading all the way into the bathroom, so between the fort, the glitter, and the colored peanut butter the living room was already unrecognizable and the night wasn't even over yet.

"This is never coming off!" Ino wailed, half laughing, as she scrubbed away at the peanut butter under the shower. The other girls, showering with her, laughed.

After they were finally clean, they came back out in bathrobes - and still their slippers, which hadn't gotten messed up - and they turned off the lights to blow glow in the dark bubbles that Anko had bought. They also made glow in the dark mason jars to fall asleep to, and placed one next to each of their sleeping bags.

By then, night had fallen in earnest, so they had their nighttime adventures.

They made s'mores using bent wire coat hangers in the fireplace. Anko showed them how to set their s'mores on fire for maximum effect. Then they told scary stories and watched horror movies with hot cocoa before bedtime. As a result, no one really got any sleep except Anko, who laughed through all the horror movies.

The next morning, they shuffled out in their slippers to make breakfast together (okonomiyaki pancakes) from scratch, so they made a complete mess of the kitchen too.

Kakashi finally retreated from his bedroom after he heard the girls leave and he was sure it was safe. He stopped in the central room and just stared.

"... What the hell happened?" he incredulously asked an amused Anko.

* * *

Anko also took them out to concerts.

"Move over, my fat ass needs a seat," Ino said casually as she shoved her teammates out of the way with her butt and sat back in her stadium seat with some concession snacks, feet up.

"You know, I just love it when you're even friendlier to me than usual, Ino," said Sakura.

"Are you going to share those with us?" asked Hinata.

Then all of a sudden the lights in the stadium went off and the screaming started. Everyone, including Team Kunoichi, shot to their feet as the music began.

And from there came lots of dorky dancing, lots of sexy dancing, lots of dorky dancing described as sexy dancing, along with singing, screaming, and clapping along to the music. The great thing about a concert was that you could scream at the top of your lungs and you couldn't even hear yourself. They waved the lights on their phones around in time to the music, and they just had fun.

Anko was great out in public - super confident and she didn't take shit from anyone.

A guy asked Anko to dance about halfway through the concert and she said, "I have herpes."

"What?!" the guy called, cupping a hand to his ear. "Was that an okay?!"

Anko took a deep breath and screamed, "I HAVE HERPES!" A few people scooted away from her. The guy's eyes got really big and he walked away. "Goodbye!" Anko called cheerfully as her team snickered.

Later, after the concert, Anko grabbed a beer on her way out and as they were walking down the street she let each of her students try a sip. "Hey, give me that!" she snapped, grabbing the bottle, when they took too long drinking and then tried to share the beer amongst themselves.

Team Kunoichi snickered.

Anko suddenly gasped, seeing two people making out against a wall up ahead of them. "Get ready to run," she said. "One - two - THREE!"

She ran up to the couple, tickled them, and then ran off into the sunset screaming, "AAIIEEHH!"

The couple looked in bewilderment over at the students - they blinked - and then they ran screaming into the sunset after their Sensei.

* * *

Kakashi could admit to himself, quietly, that he and Anko were good for each other.

Their weirdness matched. Kakashi had erotic daydreams of a girl walking around in nothing but black lacy underwear, and around the house that was all Anko ever wore anyway. Then she made _him_ wear the same thing. It was that kind of weirdness matching.

They were very comfortable around each other. They traded insults, talked, joked, laughed, and had mind blowing kinky sex. Neither one of them wanted the conventional life settling down and having kids, and both had very set ideas on how important things like loyalty and dedication were.

She was his playmate. She taught him how to play.

Kakashi woke up one day and realized that for the first time since he'd lost his team, he had a best friend.

That was when he first started considering it.

* * *

Team Kunoichi gathered around in their training field one day before a professional photographer with a camera, each girl wearing her kunoichi outfit - Anko included.

"Ino, get over here, your makeup is fine!" she barked.

"Alright, I'm coming, I'm coming!" Ino hurried over.

"Does my hair look okay?" Sakura asked, turning to Hinata.

Hinata fiddled a little. "... Now it does," she said in a motherly sort of way.

"Everyone look at the camera and smile. Say cheese!" said the photographer.

They all immediately looked around, grinning. "CHEESE!" Then they did a funny faces photograph in the same posture.

Each girl got a frame - and now they had a team picture.

"Alright, girls," said Anko, standing before them with her hands on her hips. "We have officially been a team for a year and a half. You all have come far. Now comes the big stuff. I think you've earned that.

"You have two and a half years left to learn academics and fighting skills."

A vicious kind of excitement filled them, a kind of thrill, as they gazed up at their Sensei.


	18. Chapter 18

_Author's Notes:_ My biggest research credits go to Narutopedia and wikipedia. However, the website "khanacademy" also has an article entitled "Cipers vs Codes" which was very useful.

* * *

18.

"Okay, girls and… well, girls," said Anko. "We are gathered in my house today because after exercising every morning we are going to do - DUN DUH NUH NUH! - academics learning! It is my job to teach you all the intellectual stuff you should have learned at the Academy."

Sakura was sitting forward enthusiastically in her seat. Hinata looked polite and Ino looked bored, her head in her hand.

"Remember your previous training. Open Zen mind, disciplined tea ceremony mind," said Anko, and at this even Ino sat up a little bit. Sakura sobered and Hinata looked more determined. Anko thought they'd needed a reminder not to fall into old bad habits. "Use what you've learned a kunoichi and a ninja is about, and apply it to every aspect of your new training. Think of academics as a kind of training. A lot of it will actually be quite useful to you out in the field. For example:

"You are going to learn ciphers and codes, which will be of excellent use in decoding secret messages and important pieces of information, and in sending your own messages in disguise.

"You are going to learn the layout of a standard Hidden Village, and about geography, history, and international relations. This will be of use to you not only in understanding your own home, but in studying how to interact with ninja from other countries and Hidden Villages. It will also give you a big list of vocab that will be useful in talking about ninja in general.

"You are going to learn chakra theory, which will be of great use in grasping and crafting ninjutsu and genjutsu.

"You are going to learn the ninja rules, a long list of fifty rules of ninja etiquette, teaching you the correct mentality and mindset behind being a ninja. But for me and my own personal lessons, this will be about more than memorizing rote. I am going to teach you what each and every individual rule means, and then will make you write out the meaning of each saying in the overall knowledge tests I will give you regularly.

"You will also learn mathematics, which is just a basic necessity of life. There are no official reading and writing lessons, because reading and writing is incorporated into the coursework. You will have to read and understand textbooks, and write essays for history lessons.

"So let's get started, then, shall we?"

* * *

"We'll start with ciphers and codes.

"First, let's talk about the difference between a cipher and a code. You all have a textbook full of ninja code in front of you. Code is when you use a word to say other words. For example, the word 'accountant' could mean 'Come at once. Do not delay.' Code is when a word, sentence, or phrase means something else other than what it has on the surface.

"You will all be memorizing that entire book of code, but I will also put you through exercises where you have to come up with your own individual code, just in case you don't want other ninja to be able to understand. The codes you have to understand and come up with will become increasingly complex as the years pass.

"Ciphers are different. Ciphers are mechanical operations, known as algorithms, that are performed on individual, small chunks of characters. This is where your math lessons come in. Most of the math I will teach you directly relates to being able to solve algorithms - we will go through the basics, and then work our way up from there into algebra and geometry.

"But back to ciphers. You have several cipher charts full of official ninja ciphers, and you'll be working using that. For example, A could equal D, B could equal E, C could equal F. You follow the algorithmic instructions to see which symbols or characters mean which other symbols or characters. For example, look at the algorithmic chart whose key is 3. An encrypted message using this changes Hello into Khoor, and decrypts Khoor into Hello.

"You will also, eventually, be making your own algorithmic charts with number keys.

"So your math lessons and your code and cipher lessons will be interrelated. The point of all of it is to teach you how to send secret messages that other ninja will understand, and eventually create your own codes and algorithms that even other ninja can't crack."

* * *

"Your next lessons will be in history - all history of the Elemental Countries, but particularly ninja history. We will, of course, be going over individual battles and treaties, and you will write essays analyzing different battles and treaties as well as read the big history textbook you have before you, but before that let me give you a brief overview of the history of the Elemental Countries in general.

"I've already told you some of this before. We were originally a great continent full of hunters and gatherers, small tribes fighting one another, but when chakra sprang up a bloodbath began. Ninja clans fought each other in the Warring Clans era. Out of this chaos were carved elemental countries ruled by Daimyo. The Daimyo began inviting several ninja clans, grouped together under a treaty, to live on his land in a village and protect his land. In return, the leader of their village would be seen as equal to him, and the village itself would be an independent entity.

"This is how Hidden Villages began.

"There were still three Great Ninja Wars between Hidden Villages after this era, but for the most part relations improved. Hidden Villages even began setting up treaties with each other. Our current closest ally, as I've also said before, is Suna, though we also have treaties with several other more minor villages, all of which you will learn about in this section. There are five great Hidden Villages: Suna, Kumo, Kiri, Iwa, and our Konoha. They are in the five great Elemental Countries: Wind, Lightning, Water, Earth, and our Fire. The Big Five are the only countries whose Hidden Villages are allowed to call their leader Kage, or Shadow - such as our Hokage. The Kage is elected by all ninja as the best the village has to offer. He has a council, which the Daimyo has a seat on, and he typically also has advisors. And until very recently in history, he was usually a man.

"I would add that not all countries have Hidden Villages. Iron, for example, is usually where ninja treaties are signed and where the Five Kage meet - when they meet - because it is unusual for having samurai as its military instead of ninja. These samurai are quite adept at kenjutsu, and channel chakra into their swords for greater fighting power. It never participates in ninja wars, keeping itself closed off and aloof. Still other countries were never considered important or accessible enough to seriously attack.

"The three great wars were:

"The First Shinobi World War, or simply the Shinobi World War, was the first of the great wars that involved the majority of shinobi villages and countries. There are few reliable surviving records of this war, but the experiences of this war led to the birth of the tactics that still form the cornerstone of warfare. It ended with an armistice treaty, but only after all of the Five Great Nations had been seriously damaged. Even then, the peace only lasted another twenty years until the Second Shinobi World War erupted.

"The Second Shinobi World War was the second of three great wars involving the majority of the shinobi villages and countries. Konoha started this war over a land dispute - on the surface. In reality, it was the economic disparity between the countries that caused the dispute. Konoha has always been a wealthy country, with plentiful natural land and lots of tourist appeal. Take the viewing platform on top of our outdoor Hokage Monument with the Hokages' faces carved into it, for example. Such a thing would be sacrilege in some other countries.

"There were conflicts between Konohagakure, led by the Third Hokage (our current Hokage), Sunagakure, led by the Third Kazekage, Amegakure, led by Hanzō of the Salamander, and Iwagakure, led by the Third Tsuchikage. The majority of the fighting took place in minor countries like Amegakure, leaving them devastated. The eventual outcome of the war was in favor of Konoha. Three great ninja, called the Great Sannin - Orochimaru, Tsunade, and Jiraiya - arose during this time.

"The Third Shinobi World War is the third war that involved the majority of the shinobi villages. It took place several years ago, and as young people both Kakashi and I fought in it. Because of a decline in national power, the reign of the Five Great Countries was crumbling. Along their borders, skirmishes with smaller nations broke out all the time. The prolonged war gradually spread its fires far and wide, until at last it developed into the Third Shinobi World War. This war turned into an unprecedented war of attrition, tormenting all nations with a shortage of war potential. Not even excluding a great power like Konoha, very young children, some of whom were barely out of the Academy were thrown into the battlefield, eventually losing their short lives during the war. It was because of this war that the rule was made all trainees now have to be preteens. The future Fourth Hokage arose during this time as the Golden Flash. He was Hokage for a brief while before losing his life at the hands of a Tailed Beast attacking our village.

"That brings me to chakra-related history. Otsutsuki Hagoromo, also known as the Sage of Six Paths, was the one who first discovered chakra. Little is known about him.

"Tailed beasts are nine gigantic concentrations of chakra, also found by the Sage of Six Paths. We call them demons because they have incredibly strong chakra power and take animal forms. They go from One-Tail to Nine-Tails. Rumor has it they were all originally one Ten-Tail, but were separated into nine by the Sage. They come out of hiding periodically and attack villages.

"The Jinchuriki, or simply hosts, are humans who have had a Tailed Beast sealed into their bodies. When the ninja villages were established, seeing the potential of a Tailed Beast's power focused by a human element, Jinchuriki were utilized to have an advantage over their rivals. However, due to the destruction they can cause if the Tailed Beasts take control and destroy everything around them, those who become Jinchuriki are seen are tools rather than people with some becoming outcasts.

"So let's get to the history of Konoha village.

"During the Warring States Period, ninja were organised into small mercenary clans that knew nothing but battle. The two strongest of these clans were the Senju and the Uchiha, who had warred against each other for their entire histories. Eventually, intending to end the countless bloodshed, Senju Hashirama used his position as leader of his clan to create a truce with the Uchiha clan and its leader Uchiha Madara. The Senju, the Uchiha, and their affiliated clans formed the first shinobi village: Konohagakure — a name invented by Madara himself. Other villages would soon start being formed following Konoha's example, ending the Warring States Period.

"Hashirama used his Wood Release abilities to produce much of the village's infrastructure. This ability and his ideals were two of the reasons he was chosen to become the village's leader: the Hokage. Madara, however, feared that the Senju would oppress his clan and attempted to gather support to overthrow Hashirama. No Uchiha would help, forcing him to take on Hashirama by himself. Madara was ultimately defeated at what would be called the Valley of the End and he was killed. Hashirama died shortly after the village began to flourish, and the mantle of Hokage was passed onto his brother, Senju Tobirama, who became the Second Hokage.

"Tobirama died during the First Shinobi World War, killed by Kumogakure's ninja, but he appointed our Sarutobi Hiruzen as Third Hokage before his death. Years later, during the Second Shinobi World War, Hiruzen led Konoha's forces against Iwa and Suna, using Amegakure as their battleground. Ame's leader, Hanzō, also fought Konoha a number of times, and during one of these battles gave Hiruzen's students - Jiraiya, Tsunade, and Orochimaru - the title of Sannin. During the Third Shinobi World War, Konoha fought the ninja of Iwagakure across Kusagakure. Konoha was almost defeated, but Namikaze Minato, a student of Jiraiya - the Golden Flash - and his team - which included Kakash - helped turn the war back in their favour. Both of Kakashi's teammates died in this war.

"After the end of the Third Shinobi World War, Hiruzen chose Minato to replace him as Fourth Hokage. Soon after Minato took office, however, the Nine Tailed Fox Demon attacked the village. Left with few options, Minato gave his life to destroy the Nine Tails. He and his wife both died heroically, alongside countless other villagers, and Konoha was saved.

"The Hyuuga Affair happened a few years ago, while Kumogakure and Konohagakure were at war. In an attempt to put an end to the fighting, they agreed to a peace treaty to be signed on the date which coincided with Hyuuga Hinata's third birthday." Anko nodded to Hinata, whose eyes had widened. "The treaty was soon revealed to might be nothing more than a cover when the person who was the Head Ninja of Kumogakure at the time — who was in Konoha to sign the treaty — attempted to kidnap Hinata in order to obtain the Byakugan and its secrets. The shinobi was killed in his attempt by Hinata's father, Hiashi. Kumo demanded Hiashi's head, and what was given was the head of Hiashi's twin, Hyuuga Hizashi, a branch retainer member and young Neji's father." Hinata looked down, sorrowful. She knew. She'd known since before she could remember. "Hizashi, like all branch members, had a caged bird seal which destroyed the Byakugan upon his death. Left with no options, Kumo finally ended the war.

"An even shorter time ago, a young genius of the Uchiha clan went insane, killed his entire clan, and ran away to become missing nin - an exiled ninja on the run from his country's law. The only Uchiha who survived is young Sasuke." This time, it was Ino and Sakura whose eyes widened. "He watched his family die at the hand of his revered older brother.

"On an added side note, famous Konoha ninja have a habit of disappearing. Orochimaru secretly experimented on innocent civilians in the name of chakra based research and became missing nin, and Tsunade retired from becoming a ninja altogether after the brutal death of her ninja husband. Only Jiraiya remains loyal to the village.

"And that's a wrap. From here, we will move on to individual battles and treaties, international relations, and the geography of the Hidden Villages using this map. You must memorize the entirety of this map and be able to label it from memory."

* * *

"Today I'm going to talk about the standard layout of a Hidden Village. I will, once more, give you an overview before we move into closer detail.

"Although there are variations from village to village, the general organisational structure and hierarchy of the ninja systems of each village is about the same. At the top of the organisation is the village head, or the Kage in the case of the Five Great Shinobi Countries. They rule the village and its shinobi together with a council, usually consisting of highly ranked shinobi and elders.

"The actual shinobi forces are divided in three groups. The regular forces, the Anbu, and the medical teams.

"The regular forces form the foundation of the village and its shinobi system. The majority of shinobi are a part of these forces and together, either individually or in teams, they perform the majority of the missions the village receives. They are also tasked with the various duties within the organisation, such as training and administrative duties.

"When an Academy student like you graduates, they usually become a part of these forces, assuming the rank of genin. Via various exams and tests, they can be promoted to higher ranks, first to chūnin and jōnin after that. Sometimes, when a shinobi is specialised in a very specific skill, they can assume the rank of tokubetsu jōnin, which is a rank between chūnin and jōnin. Kakashi and I are both jonin of various ranks.

"The Anbu, short for Ansatsu Senjutsu Tokushu Butai (Literally meaning: Special Assassination and Tactical Squad), are covert operatives dispatched by their Kage.

"There are various groups within the Anbu, aimed at various different functions and tasks. For instance, there is the hunter-nin — a group created solely for hunting down and disposing of missing-nin. There is the Konoha Torture and Interrogation Force, who interrogate prisoners and work to gather intelligence. Ino's father is one of these. And then there are just general Anbu. Anbu usually do the dirty work, hence they wear animal masks, a sign of their physical distance from ordinary, mortal humans. Kakashi and I were both Anbu at one point or another. It's a hard job. Basically, you're part of Black Ops.

"The medical teams, which Tsunade herself founded, is the supporting side of the shinobi forces. They consist of medical-nin, working behind the scenes to heal sick and injured shinobi and to make sure the organisation's resources are always in peak condition. They also do extensive research into new techniques, medicines, diseases and the human body. Although not seen very often, they are highly respected. Even to a jōnin, the advanced skills of these shinobi seem like magic. To be a medic nin requires great intelligence and extraordinary chakra control. Konoha, because of Tsunade, has the best medical teams in the world.

"Not all medical-nin are members of the medical teams, though. There are also medical-nin within the regular forces, who go along on standard missions to increase the success-rate referred to as field medical-nin. Though medical-nin from the hospital are sent out into the fields from time to time. However, back in the village, it is the medical teams who run the hospital and treat the wounded.

"Additionally, it is illegal for a foreign shinobi to enter another's Hidden Village without a special permit - treaty or no treaty. If you ever see a foreign shinobi in Konoha - you will know, because they will be wearing a hitai-ate, a band with their own village's symbol on it - it is then your duty to ask them for their paperwork or else make defensive maneuvers against them. This is why it is common for foreign shinobi to pin their permits to the outside of their clothing, where the permits can be easily seen. Ambassadors in other villages have special badges that they wear.

"For Kage, this does not apply. But Kage always wear formal robes and traditional straw hats, so they're easy to spot."

* * *

"You will also be learning chakra theory.

"Chakra is essential to even the most basic technique. Through various methods, the most common of which is hand seals, chakra can be controlled and manipulated to create an effect that would not be possible otherwise, such as walking on water, exhaling fire, or creating illusions. Chakra is ordinarily not visible to the unaided eye unless it is highly concentrated or manifested in large amounts.

"Since being spread by Hagoromo, better known as the Sage of Six Paths, chakra has become a form of life energy that all individuals produce to some degree; those who run out of chakra will die. Those who use up too much chakra are impaired with chakra exhaustion.

"Produced within the "chakra coils" that mainly surround and connect to each chakra-producing organ, the energy circulates throughout the body in a network called the "Chakra Pathway System", which is similar to the cardiovascular system. Certain groups, such as shinobi, have learned to generate more chakra and release it outside their bodies through pressure points called tenketsu in order to perform jutsu. Chakra is not normally visible to the human eye, though it can be seen in situations where a person releases as much of their chakra as possible. This is rarely seen due to the restrictions of eight specific tenketsu known as the Eight Gates, which limit the amount of chakra an individual can release at a single given time.

"Chakra is created when two other forms of energy, known collectively as one's "stamina", are moulded together. Physical energy is collected from each and every one of the body's cells and can be increased through training, stimulants, and exercise. Spiritual energy is derived from the mind's consciousness and can be increased through studying, meditation, and experience. These two energies becoming more powerful will in turn make the created chakra more powerful. Therefore, practising a technique repeatedly will build up experience, increasing one's spiritual energy, and thus allowing more chakra to be created. As a result, the ninja is able to do that same technique with more power. This same cycle applies for physical energy, except the ninja needs to increase their endurance instead.

"At any given time, a ninja will have a "maximum" amount of chakra that they can form and use before it runs out and they need to rest to replenish it. With practice this maximum can be increased, but to a certain extent they are limited to the quantity and strength of chakra that their genetics grants them.

"Each person's chakra is different and as such gives off a unique chakra signature, which sensor type ninja are able to detect. Chakra signatures are passed genetically, allowing a person's clan to be identified by their chakra; over time, entire populations can have different chakra. This can lead to bloodline limits, one clan's ability to do something no one else can do, such as the Hyuugas' Byakugan eyes and mastery over tenketsu points, or the Yamanakas' ability for mental and bodily control of others.

"One's chakra signature can be altered by absorbing DNA from multiple people, mixing various chakra signatures together to become a whole new one. Chakra signatures that are similar to each other (such as that of a parent and child) are suggested to resonate when near each other. Each person's chakra also has a unique "colour" that can be seen by those with dōjutsu (all normal chakra is light blue). Even if they are separated, changes made in the chakra signature of the original will result in the separated chakra mimicking those changes.

"While practically all types of jutsu require chakra to be performed, taijutsu does not; stamina is all that is needed. While the ninja still needs a set amount of chakra to live, regular taijutsu doesn't require any active moulding or manipulation of chakra, with few exceptions. A standard attack like a punch or kick falls into this technique category.

"Because chakra takes time and a great deal of training to gradually build up, the key to its use is not actually having chakra but instead being able to sufficiently control and conserve it. This is called chakra control. In order to have good chakra control, a ninja should only mould as much chakra as they need to perform a given ability. If they mould more chakra than is needed, the excess chakra is wasted and they will tire out faster from its loss. If they don't mould enough chakra, a technique will not be performed effectively, if at all, likely creating problems in a combat situation.

"General training methods for improving one's moulding and manipulation of chakra are the Leaf Concentration, Tree Climbing, and Water Surface Walking exercises. I will teach those to you in future studies. You all can already sense your chakra and its center in your hara, which is a good start. A good way to build up chakra in the body is to spin it into a tight spiral; Whether to spin the chakra left or right is dependent on the way the user's hair grows. Hand seals are often used to manipulate chakra more easily, allowing shinobi to execute their techniques faster and more effectively. Shinobi who are extremely skilled at chakra control often specialise in genjutsu or become medical-nin.

"When creating a ninjutsu, the two methods of manipulating chakra are referred to as shape transformation and nature transformation:

"Shape transformation deals with controlling the form, movement, and potency of chakra.

"Nature transformation deals with changing the physical properties of chakra into an element. There is also the nature transformation of Yin and Yang, which deals with changing the ratio of spiritual and physical energies within chakra.

"These two methods can be implemented separately or together in order to create a technique, though ninja who can use both simultaneously are said to be rare.

"There are also additional, specialized chakras we won't get into, such as nature or sage chakra, six paths chakra, and tailed beast chakra."

* * *

"And last but not least, we get into the ninja rules.

"Upon becoming a shinobi, one must abide by specific rules when out in the field. Ninja follow this code in order to "kill their emotions," preventing them from running wild and causing the mission to be a failure. The most important thing for a shinobi is to be a tool for achieving their village and country's goals. Emotions are considered unnecessary things. That's why I told you to find a way to be your own person and let out your own feelings in private or in your free time.

"Let's go through some examples and analyze them.

"A shinobi must always put the mission first. This means you must always attain the objective, even at the cost of lives.

"A shinobi must never show their tears. Notice the rule does not say not to have any tears. It just says not to show them on the battlefield.

"A shinobi must see the hidden meanings within the hidden meanings. This means to always analyze everything and learn to have an analytical and observant mind. Always see the truth within any lie.

"A shinobi must follow their commander's instructions. As I said, if your commander breaks the law, your commander will be punished - not you. This also means that as a commander you take responsibility for all things done within your unit.

"A shinobi must prepare before it is too late. Think of and be prepared for any eventuality.

"A shinobi must never show any weakness. Even if things are going wrong for you, do not be disturbed on the surface, for it will give your enemy an advantage.

"A shinobi must always watch their back. Never let anyone get behind you physically, and never let any enemy get under your guard socially.

"A shinobi must always be two steps ahead of their enemy. Planning and strategy are essential in any battle.

"On an added side note, I will also give you teamwork and strategy exercises, but I would like to wait until you have better fighting skills before giving you those.

"So, we will continue learning these things throughout our two and a half remaining years together. But now let's move on to also learning fighting skills.

"This is the part it all leads up to - the part I know you're really looking forward to."


	19. Chapter 19

_Author's Notes:_ The research book this time is _The Ninja and Their Secret Fighting Art_ by Stephen K Hayes.

* * *

19.

"You have literally been working out every day nonstop for a little over a year and a half," said Anko. "You are in peak physical condition for your age group. Here's where that starts paying off.

"I am going to teach you the essential, age-old, ancient ninja arts first: taijutsu (where we will be putting an emphasis on the woman's more agile form), weapons, stealth, espionage and commando tactics, psychological warfare and killing intent, trap making, and survival training in which you will learn to thrive out in the wilderness.

"So every day, we will start with exercising, move on to the physical arts, and then move inside to power down with the academic arts. Once you're ninja, all you drop is the academic, though that should still allow you some free time when you're not on missions. Ya got it?"

"Yes, Anko-sensei!" they echoed.

"Very good. So. To begin!

"My first lesson to you as fighting ninja is to always choose the quiet way first. Now we're seen as more battle-warrior types, but in ancient times a few ninja could hide and do by subtle means what it took hundreds of armored warriors to accomplish. Espionage and assassination were our specialties. The ninja's guiding philosophy has always been to choose the dark, quiet, and subtle method over the bold, active, and forceful. Suggestion and deception were our bywords, with the adversary being guided unknowingly into doing our bidding. The ninja arts have a psychological slant, allowing the ninja to accomplish the most while expending the minimum amount of energy and exposing themselves to the least amount of danger.

"Ninja are free from the samurai warrior's rigid code of honor and prescribed way of handling situations. The samurai must balance two things: achieving his goal, and maintaining the honor and prestige of himself and that of his family.

"I cannot emphasize this enough: _ninja are bound by no such rules._

"When you trick an enemy into death through covert methods, that's not 'dishonorable' in the world of the ninja. That's called 'winning.' The ninja has no code of honor, and does whatever it takes to get the job done. That's why ninja have become so popular as national protectors in the modern world.

"Now, we are going to start your training very simply - first, activities stressing balance and agility will be introduced. You will learn to jump over shrubs, walk atop narrow horizontal poles, and run up inclined planks. Later, we will stress muscle limberness and joint flexibility. You will practice running, jumping, and yoga stretching-like movements. Next comes striking and kicking techniques with bundles of straw. Then we get to taijutsu and weaponry, jumping from tree to tree and roof to roof, and stealth.

"Later, you will learn to be actors and practical psychologists. Observation will be taught, and using the mental weaknesses and limitations of others to your own advantage. You will also be taught how to prepare medicines and drugs, including poisons. You will be shown how to gain surreptitious entrance to buildings, and climb walls, cross ceilings, and steal under floors. You will be taught how to tie and bind the enemy, as well as how to escape binds. You will also be taught how to sketch maps, routes, and landmarks, and faces."

* * *

Once they had passed all the preliminary training exercises (leaping, balancing, and incline-run exercises; limberness and flexibility exercises; striking and kicking bundles of straw), Anko said, "We begin with unarmed combat, or taijutsu.

"First, demonstrate a punch for me."

All three girls smashed their fists out straight from the right side of their bodies, drawing their other fists in tight towards their bodies.

Anko actually laughed. "That's a punching technique for a farmer," she said. "In ancient times, farmers would direct heavy smashed fists toward samurai in armor, trying to be quick and hit hard in a vital area before the samurai in armor - which slows one down - could kill them. It's old fashioned."

"So how do ninja punch?"

"There is no one technique," said Anko. "I will show you several, and you use them depending on the situation. One rule is that you follow each punch all the way through - don't just jab and retreat. Okay, now, I'll show you slow. Do these with me.

"First, there is the Extended Knuckle Fist. It is used against hard, broad surfaces of bone structure. The fist is formed with the fingers half-folded, leaving the middle knuckles protruding. The knuckles strike against various areas, including facial bones, breast bone, and the sides of the middle ribs. The punch goes straight in, bullet-like, with all of the force behind the striking points. The elbow should not rise along the outside of the fist's path, or the punch will bend and hook. The elbow is kept close to the ribs, forcing the punch straight into the target.

"Then comes the conventional clenched fist. You don't need to do any of that fancy shit around it, though. Just clench your fist, keep your thumb where it won't get hurt, and hit. Especially useful against nose, jaw, lower edges of the ribs, arms, and legs - any area where the edges of bone structure are accessible.

"The Thumb Drive Fist is used against semisoft targets, generally muscles covering bone structure. It's especially good for attacking nerve centers - here, here, here, here, and here on the body. The fist is formed with the thumb protruding, and the hand in a golf club grip position. The thumb jabs, reinforced by the curled index finger. This fist is good for the sides of the neck, the sides of the upper ribs, the solar plexus, and the lower abdomen to the insides of the hip bones.

"Next is the Sword Hand. The lower outside edge of the palm is used against the structures of the limbs and neck, as well as for striking into the joints. The planes of the palm and fingers form an angle of 45 degrees, the thumb clamped along the base of the index finger. Always start by maintaining your hand into a conventional fist to disguise your intention. At the last second before the attack hits, open your hand. This strike is intended to open or break the bone structure.

"Now, show me how to stand as if waiting for an attack."

They did a stance as if riding a horse, their fists at their sides. Anko nodded calmly.

"Okay. Now watch this." She kicked the side of Ino's knee and Ino fell to the ground. "There are rules in karate. There are rules in kendo. There are no rules for the ninja. We attack your legs, leaving you unable to stand and move about. We sweep your feet. We jab our fingers in your eye sockets. All perfectly acceptable methods of attack. You have to be ready for each one. You follow your punch all the way through, right? Well, then you're in the enemy's territory. What then?"

There was a silence.

"You have to know how to stand, dodge, and block," said Anko. "It's essential. Now, unlike some martial arts, taijutsu does not use rigid, fixed stances and foot positions. Fighters move in and out of various postures according to the ebb and flow of the fight. So you've got this going for you, and it's going to take some practice sparring to get it down: anything goes. Only Hinata, with her family's specialized Jyuuken, probably already understands this.

"So, fighting stances. First is like this."

They waited. Anko just stood there. Feet about hip-width apart. Each foot carrying an equal weight. Arms loose at her sides.

"... That's it?"

"Yup. That's it. If a man plans on killing you, he is not going to inform you first. So you learn how to fight starting from this position."

Next they were taught how to knock away erratic punches - like those thrown by friends in a spar. Then they were taught not to use looping, erratic punches in spars themselves. Only Hinata needed no such instruction. She surprised Anko with a hard punch on her very first try.

"We have to fight as hard as we can against our friends so they can improve, right Sensei?" she said, looking up determinedly.

Anko smiled. "That is correct," she said. Hinata took these lessons just as seriously as her Jyuuken lessons, and in this Anko was pleased.

And from there, they learned how versatile the standing position was. You could do anything with it, it seemed - dodge quickly around a half-formed attack and angle your body so you punched a person caught in half-punch in the face, for example. And magically, if you did the position correctly, it was damn near impossible to knock you over. Leg and feet attacks became easier to handle as they came - you could even jump over them, and do them yourself. Jumping and angling their body in weird ways became their byword, in fact, as did protecting and shielding themselves while being thrown away and throwing other people away

"Hey!" said Ino, as Sakura was grinning during a spar of theirs one day. "This is kind of fun!"

But they always came back to the standing position.

Another great thing Anko taught them using this posture was how to stop a wrestling throw. You used your immovable posture to stop the attack in its place, then used your shoulder to wrap around the person's shoulder, pinching their collar-bone and half-choking them, then slamming them to the ground when their hands fly to their throat.

She also taught them how to throw people themselves. "Keep yourself low to the ground," she said. "Always remember, when your attacks lack power, it means you're not close enough to the earth."

While the standing posture reflected earth, the defensive posture reflected water - fluidity, with the hips shifted down and away from the attacker so the defender could go anywhere. The legs were in different positions, one hand floating outstretched, the other next to the cheek with the elbow protecting the ribs. In this way, the defender could move and slide, forever out of reach.

The defender could do all sorts of things from this posture - move around a kicking leg and kick it in the inside calf, for example. Or get around a fist and hit the outstretched arm in two separate places at the same time: under the wrist and over the forearm. (They learned very quickly not to let their opponent get behind them - and to aim from behind themselves.) The rule was the defender always moved around and around the attacks, their rear foot dragging their leading foot around in a fast circle.

"Remember, a ninja's job is to minimize damage!" said Anko. "Avoid getting hit if you can!"

The offensive posture represented fire. The fists were positioned in front of the chin, but even then they were always crossed at the wrists and ready to block a possible incoming attack. The true ninja never dropped their guard, and was always ready to defend even when attacking. The elbows were held close to the ribs for protection, and the person lashed out in various punch and kick and leap attacks, their feet once more separated with the back one leading for movement.

The girls were hesitant at first to attack - well, Ino wasn't, but the other two were more cautious - until Anko said in casual annoyance, "If you're going to defend, use a defensive posture. Otherwise, what if someone goes to attack and you need to defend and you're in offensive? Offensive can't do all the blocking, you know."

Final posture was receiving posture, which reflected the lightness of air. With receiving, you were ready to receive anything. You were in a posture like you were spread-eagled about to hug somebody, and then you moved left and right according to the fight. With receiving, you were ready to block or attack. You shifted your feet in swirling patterns.

Once they had gotten down many of the basics of ninja taijutsu, Anko said, "When possible, avoid direct battle as a ninja. But taijutsu is there if you can't avoid that outcome. It is one of the things you can do, one of the tools you possess. And it aims to inflict as much damage as possible with the fewest and simplest moves as possible. Remember that."

A few other things they learned were distancing (deciding how close to the fighter to be based on how good the fighter was at either close or long distance fighting), angling (moving in unexpected directions, often in unconventional, spur-of-the-moment ways), and naturalness (doing whatever feels most natural in the fight at hand). They also learned to avoid direct, brute strength attacks and instead to include lots of soft attacks that required agility, surprising, and hurting nerves and joints. Hinata was already a master of this, but slowly Ino and Sakura learned it too.

And they learned all this through a lot - of - sparring.

* * *

They kept on taijutsu sparring, but next they took a break to learn tree and roof jumping, which entailed a lot of jumping above mattresses and laughing at each other as they fell.

Then came weaponry.

"The Academy is a proponent of teaching you only one kind of weapon," said Anko. "I think that's bullshit. A true ninja in the Warring Clans Era or directly afterward would be a master of several different kinds of weapons and would have them all with him at all times. How?" She held up a scroll with a symbol in the center. "Like this.

"This is a sealing scroll. You channel swirling chakra into the seal left-ways if you want to take something out, and right-ways if you want to put something in. You can put all the weapons you need into scrolls like these and take them out at will."

So Anko made them buy each kind of weapon themselves, and she showed them - not only how to take care of the weapons, but how to use them.

Ropes, chains, and cords could be used to snag an adversary from a distance, or knock him unconscious. For example, one swung a chain weapon outward (the weapon was used like a whip, with all the power in the tip), the person caught it in the air - and then you could twist it and lasso them around the arm, dragging them across the floor. Sakura fell for this one, thinking she'd caught the cord and then being dragged. Stopping at Anko's feet. Looking up to find her Sensei smirking.

And so they learned - how to move around quickly, slashing a chain, rope, or cord weapon outward at unexpected angles, constantly adjusting grip. There had to be a precise target of impact, or the weapon wouldn't work.

Sticks and staffs were next, supposedly the favored weapon of choice of the Hokage himself and his monkey summons. The point or end of the tip was for striking, all the power of the blow funneling down into a single point. The hips had to be coordinated with the staff, which added power to the strike. Footwork was also important. Basic slashes and poking strikes from a stationary position were practiced first, then moving forward and backward during the strike were practiced. Then they learned how to block and counterattack, sparring each other using sticks and staffs.

The ninja cane was next. It had the appearance of an ordinary walking stick, but inside the cane was contained everything from hidden knives to full sword blades to spears to chains.

So after that came the sword. "Bladed weapons are the ninja's primary fighting tools!" said Anko. "Sword is used for close range fighting, and throwing blades and shuriken for long distance. I will be teaching you both."

The first goal of ninja swordsmanship was to develop the ability to draw the sword in defense with sufficient speed to cut the attacker without having to first block his initial slash. This acted as the first cut, as opposed to drawing and preparing to cut. If the opponent was too advanced, the blow turned into a block.

"Cuts usually only involve the last quarter of the blade," said Anko. "Movements should be light and fast, not powerful, a graceful extension of the arm."

They then sparred using fencing skills against each other.

Throwing knives (kunai), senbon needles, and shuriken were last, but certainly not least. They practiced straight-wristed flings at anatomically labeled dummies and later Anko clones, particularly toward an assailant's arms and face. "They're usually not serious enough to kill," said Anko. "So go for vital areas to a fighter."

Lastly, Anko made them practice pulling these weapons out of sealing scrolls until they were experts at doing it at high speeds.

* * *

Some of the lessons were surprisingly herbal. Anko-sensei spent several days showing them how to gather herbs and plants to prepare various medicines and drugs, including poisons. She also taught them how to lace their weapons with poison.

Then they were taught how to bind an enemy and break out of binds, how to use explosive tags (cue lots of BOOMs and ringing ears) and ninja wire, and how to sketch maps, routes, landmarks, and faces. (Ino enjoyed telling her teammates their drawings looked like deformed animals. Incidentally Ino's teammates also enjoyed throwing paper balls at her face.)

And they were taught how to gain surreptitious entrance to buildings - using window ledges, for example - and how to climb up walls, cross ceilings, and steal under floors. Usually Anko taught them this by having them break surreptitiously into actual buildings and then sneak out again without getting caught. This horrified the girls at first, but they got used to breaking every law around Anko. This led into their next section.

"Now we get to stealth," said Anko. "Or, as it's known in ninja lingo, invisibility."


	20. Chapter 20

_Author's Notes:_ Once again, _The Ninja and Their Secret Fighting Art_ by Stephen K Hayes is an excellent book.

* * *

20.

Anko taught them stealth by taking them out to various fields, like golf courses they weren't usually allowed into, and having them sneak through those fields without getting caught.

"Sensei," Sakura muttered at last as Anko led them through the underbrush one day, "what if we get caught?"

"If we get caught, I'll take the fall," said Anko. "But we won't get caught."

Hinata looked steady and accepting, like she had faith in her Sensei. Ino looked positively excited.

They learned how to conceal themselves in high grass and shrubs, and behind trees. They learned how to move through thick tangles of branches while making no sound. They learned to breathe through their nose, not their mouth, while trying to be stealthy. One interesting thing they learned was how to smell water, so they didn't make sound by suddenly splashing upon some - that went back to the "use your nose, not your mouth" lesson.

They rarely went to the same place twice. It was vital for Anko-sensei that they train themselves to be constantly aware, such as the awareness that comes from new environments. They trained themselves to be silent on all kinds of terrain: water, grass, loose gravel, hillsides, carpeting.

Stealth came in several elements. First came sense deception. Sight was the most crucial of the enemy's senses to deceive. Methods of camouflage involved disguise, concealment, and alteration of appearance. Methods of confusion included visual distraction, the contrast between bright light and darkness, and optical illusions.

Sense of smell was especially important around people with animals like dogs. The ninja must be careful about wind patterns, staying downwind or disguising their smell.

Wind was also important to remember to deceive the enemy's hearing. Certain crackling and rustling sounds could not be avoided while moving through wild areas, no matter how skilled the ninja was, so ninja had to be taught during those times to disguise their sound with other natural sounds. Traffic, machinery, conversation, even wind. If none of these things were available, the ninja could throw something to make a sound in a different part of the field, and use that distracting sound to disguise their own crackling movements.

But usually, a ninja was completely silent. There was a special walking technique to be learned called phantom steps, and Anko-sensei made the girls practice this even when walking around the village or around their home until they had the art of silence completely mastered and it came naturally to them. Sakura even began scaring her mother by surprise.

"Oh!" her mother would say, whirling around, clutching her heart. "I didn't hear you coming!"

Sakura would smile in dry amusement, her eyes sparkling with mischief.

There were different phantom steps to be used for different situations. The Small Step, for example, was a small, stabbing step used to move silently through shallow water and dry leaves. The objective was to get beneath the surface of the water or leaves without making noise. Sideways Walking was used to move stealthily in the shadows of buildings and negotiate tight passageways. The Sweeping Step was used to move across wooden planks or straw matting without being detected.

Anko sometimes tested their effectiveness at walking techniques by spreading out several sheets thick newspapers, and then thoroughly drenching them, so that missteps and slips would show up as tears or folds in the wet paper. The girls would have to walk across the papers without tearing or making any sound.

Beyond walking techniques, they were also taught to practice doing all other movements in complete silence. Sitting, standing, moving objects, etc. All must be done carefully, with no unnecessary movements, and in complete silence.

They were then taught to catch sight of other ninja who were trying to be silent and blend in with their surroundings, which Anko said out on missions would be equally important.

There were still other ways to confuse an enemy's senses, however. They were taught to use smoke bombs, to attack the victim's eyes, or even to throw materials into the victim's eyes from a far distance.

And then came the art of disguise, which was simply fascinating. These were basically acting classes. They would dress up like people they were not, innocent civilians, and act convincingly to be those people, all the while concealing weapons somewhere on their person.

"You are lucky," said Anko. "You are women. You are always underestimated. Pretend to be a simple young civilian woman or a geisha, act helpless and infantile, or on the flip side highly seductive, and you can fool almost anyone. Men especially will naturally nurse tender feelings toward you. Even older kunoichi can pretend to be helpless old women, and conceal a weapon inside their cane."

So these were the acts they focused on mastering.

"A couple of things to remember when putting on a disguise or act," said Anko. "Always know the geography of the place you're pretending to live in or be from. And always fake the proper accent, slangs, and jargon. Basically, as in seduction, do your research."

* * *

Next came lessons in how to be an espionage agent or a commando.

"There are six guiding steps to successful espionage," said Anko. "First, you must plant agents. The ninja agent must go undetected, and so must keep a low profile. His cover depends on him just being 'one of the common people.' A successful espionage agent acts just like any other civilian, even if he's watching something horrible happen before his very eyes.

"There are a few different approaches in how to plant spies. The earth approach involves careful, strategic placement of spies as ordinary people prior to a conflict happening. The water approach involves putting in the enemy a false sense of security - for example, by allowing an agent to be caught and having them at length divulge false information. Women are good in the water role - psychology, intuition, and manipulation of men must be our specialties. We lull the men into a false sense of security. The most important thing, however, is never to fall in love with the target.

"The fire approach involves turning the enemy's own people against them, and having the enemy's own people become your spies. The wind approach involves an agent appearing to go over to the enemy's side, and being accepted as a soldier of their own. The void approach uses all of these tactics.

"Once the ninja has planted agents, his goals and then his strategy must be determined. The next step is to sow confusion among the enemy's ranks with false or misleading information. Then comes breaching the enemy lines using the surprise found through the false and misleading information, and finally penetrating an enemy's stronghold. Usually through an enemy camp's weak point, while the enemy is otherwise occupied somewhere else. Once inside the enemy's camp, someone must provide a distraction for the enemy guards while the real work is done. Stealth, of course, which I've taught you, is also a must in this situation."

* * *

"For psychological warfare," said Anko, "the first step is to look at things as they really are, not as you want them to be. This is very Zen - the ridding yourself of desire to see things in a certain way. Often we see the world through rose colored spectacles -"

"Like we did with our respective crushes."

"Well, yes. All three of you saw what you wanted to see. I was once in love with a man like that too. I saw what I wanted to see." Anko had sobered. Her students looked curious. "I don't want to talk about that today, but it was where a lot of my problems stemmed from. But now, you see, I've finally found a relationship where I see him for exactly who he is - I appreciate his kinks and accept his chronic tardiness and the times when he becomes emotionally distant, and he puts up with what a complete raving lunatic I am. The relationship works because we see each other for who we really are. We have rid ourselves of a desire to see the ideal.

"People are ugly. Sorry to break it to ya, kiddies. You are going to meet ninja out there in the field who are very dark psychologically, and you must not only look that darkness in the eye, but understand it and use it against them. This can be scary, and very hard. But it is the kind of psychological warfare ninja must play.

"At the same time, if all you see is darkness inside the person, that's not good either. You must also see the potential good, and use that against them when possible. So it's two sided. Basically, you have to see things as they really are."

Her students looked thoughtful.

"You must also stop your useless emotional responses to others. Again: you can have emotions, but don't let them control your lives. Get rid of negative responses based on worry and fear and insult and the desire to please others - they make you a weak and easy target. At the same time, do bring out those responses in others.

"Recognize an adversary's needs and fears. Use them to bend him into submission. This is known as shadow warfare."

There were five big potential weaknesses in the enemy for ninja to search for and exploit, and each corresponded to an element:

\- Earth corresponded to laziness.

\- Water represented the rashness of anger.

\- Fire corresponded to the blindness produced by fear.

\- Wind represented those who were too softhearted and overly sympathetic.

\- The Void corresponded to vanity - any kind of pride or arrogance.

All were weaknesses that could be exploited by a skilled ninja.

There were also the five needs:

\- Earth corresponded to security.

\- Water represented sex.

\- Fire corresponded to wealth.

\- Wind represented pride.

\- The Void corresponded to pleasure.

Giving or withholding any of these needs, depending on the person, could bend the person into submission. Starving and threatening to kill were not always necessary.

"One of my last psychological lessons," said Anko, "is that in order to overcome these weaknesses in yourself, so they can't be used against you, you must practice rigorous self knowledge. Once more, Zen like, without becoming attached to some permanent idea of yourself. People can change with situations. If you understand your emotions and desires, this is the key to them not controlling your life. Notice which of these weaknesses you are most prone to at any given time - do _not_ give into them."

* * *

"Next I am going to teach you sensing," said Anko. "Just basic sensing. You will learn how to search out other chakra signatures, and feel your own. This is the key to killing intent. Through this, you will know if a person wishes you harm unseen. Their pumping chakra will tell you. You will also be able to adjust the output of your own killing intent to match a powerful one - or, on the flip side, mask your own signature and your own killing intent completely.

"Obviously, this basic sensing will also help you track down prey. People leave their chakra behind on things they touch - by the time I'm through with you, you will be able to touch a person's old shirt and find them if they are anywhere in the surrounding area.

"Even if you do not understand chakra, though, you will still be able to feel another person's killing intent. This is part of knowing yourself. If you feel an instinct to move, move. It is that simple. You also always generate your own killing intent if you have enough will to kill, whether you can sense chakra or not.

"What is most important to a ninja is to understand that chakra generated killing intent - even if it is suppressed killing intent - is vital energy needed to win a battle. Always come at your true fights with the intent to kill."


	21. Chapter 21

_Author's Notes:_ "12 Outdoor Survival Skills Every Guy Should Master" by Nick Davidson was a good article. The title made me roll my eyes a little, but it was a nice source of information. It can be found on the Men's Fitness website.

* * *

21.

"Okay," said Anko. "Now we get to trap making. In theory it's pretty simple: you use hidden ninja equipment combinations to surprise unwary happen-upponers."

"Happen-upponers? Is that even a word?"

"It is because I say it is! Now. I say it's simple in theory, but in reality crafting a good trap is pretty complex. There are a lot of things you have to take into consideration.

"First: are they expecting a trap? If so, you can set up a fake trap, and then once they've discovered it and you've lured them into a false sense of security, bam you unveil the real one.

"Are they ninja or non-ninja? Ninja have been trained to look for traps. If you're trying to trick ninja, you've got your work cut out for you. You've gotta step it up a notch.

"But essentially, there are only a certain number of things you can use in traps. You can use ninja wire, where if the wire is tripped weapons or smoke bombs rain down upon unsuspecting heads. You can hide explosive tags in various ways. You can use hidden containment seals to seal away anyone who walks into their line of fire. Or, if you know genjutsu, you can work with that.

"Those are the four main types.

"So, with that said, here's what we're going to do. I will have each of you hide in the forest in turn and craft a trap. The other two will sense out the person and try to discover their trap without triggering it. And then you will just pit your wits against one another until you get better and better.

"Of course, I will be on hand to pull people out of the line of fire and make sure nobody dies."

And so the girls practiced their sensing to find their teammates, which Anko thought would be useful to them in the future anyway - familiarity with your teammates was good. The traps were really easy to spot at first, and not all that complicated. But as time wore on, they learned to use cover without the cover being obvious, and their trap ideas got more complex, and they became better and better. And after that came a _lot_ of students thinking they were about to die, and Anko pulling them away.

That was when their observational skills, first trained in stealth, really started to come into play.

Sakura preferred trigger wires hidden by leaves - hard to see, harder to avoid, and vicious. A favorite ploy of hers also became showing a false trap on the surface, and crafting a real one that was harder to see. Ino enjoyed burying explosive tags under the ground, covering them with fresh grass, and creating a hidden minefield. Anko suspected this was partly because Ino liked loud noises. Hinata preferred containment seals - not out of any sense of sympathy, but because they were easy to hide, hard to see, no mess no fuss, and the enemy could then be released later for interrogation.

Their hiding skills were also put to the test in this section - part of a good trap was not suspecting there was a ninja lying in wait for you.

* * *

And for survival training, Anko just took them out to a forest on the edge of Konoha with absolutely no camping materials and made them spend three days with her in there. She didn't tell them this was what they were doing beforehand, mind you.

"Yup, that's right," she said casually, hands on her hips. "No food, no shelter, no showers for three whole days."

The old team, the one Anko had first met, would have shouted in horror. As they were now, the girls' eyes just widened a little bit. Then determination filled their expressions.

"Okay - what do we do?"

Anko smiled.

"There are nine tenets of surviving out in the wilderness. First is finding a suitable campsite."

They stayed high and dry. The girls were taught to avoid valleys and paths where water may flow toward them. They also had to choose a campsite free of things like insect nests, falling rocks, and dead branches that may crash down on them in the middle of the night. Preferably, they wanted to be close to running water, dry wood, and rocky walls and formations that shielded them from the elements.

So the girls chose a high cliff right above a river, safely away from the ledge, that had lots of dry trees nearby but none directly above their campsite. There was a rock formation on one side of the campsite to shield them from the elements. Check.

"Second is building a shelter."

They stacked dry branches in a shelter shape against the rock formation, layering leaves and moss on the erected wall. Then they insulated themselves further with a good six inches of debris to lie on inside the shelter. Check.

"Third is starting a fire."

Anko taught them to do this using a battery - any battery would do. The negative and positive terminals of Hinata's phone battery were connected to a foil gum wrapper from Ino's coat pocket and voila! A fire was started against more dry wood. Check.

"Fourth is building the fire."

Anko viewed fire building in terms of four key ingredients: tinder bundle of dry, fibrous material (Sakura's lip balm, in this case) and wood in three sizes—toothpick, Q-tip, and pencil. They used a forearm-sized log as a base and windscreen for their tinder. When the tinder was lit, they stacked the smaller kindling against the larger log, like a lean-to, to allow oxygen to pass through and feed the flames. They added larger kindling as the flame grew, until the fire was hot enough for bigger logs. Check.

"Fifth is finding clean water."

There was already-purified water, and what Anko called death-water. Already-purified water took a long time to collect, because it would only be found in rain, snow, and dew. Death-water was the kind found in puddles, streams, and rivers. After some thinking, the girls decided to hang a coiled bundle of chain from an erected stick stand above the fire, and pour some river water into the makeshift basin to boil out all the impurities. Check.

"Sixth is identifying what to eat."

They went for fish, lizards, frogs, and edible plants. Anko showed them and gave them charts of what edible plants looked like for each region of the Elemental Countries, and told them to seal away these charts like they were weapons. "You never know," she said, "one day they may save your life." They also learned how to make multi-pronged blades out of their current spears, in order to catch small critters like snakes and fish. Check.

They slept each night after a dinner of fish or lizards and boiled water. But soon enough they had to find their way back, and the lessons continued.

"Seventh is navigation."

Anko taught them how to navigate using several techniques, including compass, map, app, and even by the sky. The sun and the north-south line were both common methods of measurement for this last type during the day. Stars were an excellent way of navigation by night. Check.

"Eighth and ninth are tying knots and sending up smoke or mirror signals for help."

Anko taught them these things - Check - but they didn't really have any need of them. Dirty and grimy but rather proud of themselves, they navigated their way out of the forest and back into the village using combined efforts no problem.


	22. Chapter 22

22.

"We will now get to team building, strategy, and psychological puzzle exercises," said Anko.

"The most important thing to remember when you're in a team out in the field is that you have to do your very best and train your very hardest for each mission. Because your teammates are counting on you, and if you don't do your best, one of them could die.

"With that said, also remember two things: The ultimate responsibility for how the mission goes rests on the team leader. And if you did your best and someone still died, crap happens. There's no need to feel personally responsible.

"Let me explain aspect one in more detail. If you're the team leader, as a Chuunin or Jounin, you strategize. You give out instructions and orders that must be followed. And you protect your weaker team members. Say your team is captured by the enemy. It is your job to step forward, take responsibility for the team, and show them how to behave. Right now I'm your team leader, so that's my job," Anko finished calmly.

"We do team building and mental exercises to train you for situations you may encounter out in the field. So I and my clones will pretend to be the enemy, we'll go to a training ground, I'll give you your situation, and you will act just as if you were on a real mission. Come at me, the enemy, with the intent to kill.

"We're doing it this way because especially if you become Chuunin or I die, I may not be there one hundred percent of the time. You guys may have to work as a lone unit one day. Understood?"

Team Kunoichi nodded seriously.

* * *

"And now, at last, we get to chakra. You already know a lot about chakra. You know what it is in abstract, how it is formed, how it moves through your body. You know how to mix chakra left and right, though a person should usually do one over the other. You know how to center your chakra in your hara. You know how to sense your own and other people's chakra signatures, and how to suppress your signature.

"Well, now, at last, you learn how to use chakra.

"You do techniques by mixing your chakra in the way that is correct for you, picturing what you want in your mind, and doing the correct hand signs for the technique. The twelve hand signs are these: Monkey, Dragon, Rat, Bird, Snake, Ox, Dog, Horse, Tiger, Boar, Ram, and Hare. Every day, you will practice doing these in different combinations until you can do them both perfectly and at extremely high speeds. I will stand in front of you and make corrections.

"But there is more to learning chakra than that. As you have already learned, you need chakra control exercises so that you can do as much with as little chakra as possible. This will hopefully keep you from getting chakra exhaustion out in the field. If, on the other hand, you have great control and very little chakra, doing ninjutsu or chakra control exercises over and over again will strengthen your chakra.

"So I will show you three chakra exercises. Remember with each of them, chakra is partly spiritual energy, so keeping a calm, at peace, determined Zen mindset and not getting frustrated is very important. Those exercises is why we're out in this field."

They were in a forest training area with a shallow pond nearby.

"First is this. Tree walking." Anko made a hand seal. Her feet glowed blue and she began calmly walking up the side of a tree. "You channel chakra into your feet, supposedly the hardest place to channel chakra, and you use the chakra like glue to walk up sideways surfaces. Get a running start and mark your highest point each time you try it with a kunai knife. When you have reached the top of the tree, you have mastered the exercise.

"Next is this. Water walking." She went over to the shallow pond; her feet glowed blue again and she began walking atop the water. "This is level two: keeping yourself steady over unsteady surfaces.

"And this is level three." Anko took up a leaf and it began bending on its own in the flat palm of her hand. "Leaf bending. Coat the leaf with your chakra and force it to move without touching it. Once you have mastered these three exercises, you have mastered chakra control.

"These exercises will not only help you strengthen your chakra and conserve energy, but they can also make you stronger and faster. After this, channeling chakra in your legs and arms to make yourselves faster and stronger will be child's play, and you should always practice it when you spar or battle.

"So, with that, let's begin. Go through the different levels. Teaching yourselves calm here will train you to keep calm during spars or battles.

"GO!"

Steady, calm, and determined, the girls began running toward their respective trees with kunai.

* * *

Sakura easily had the best chakra control. She made it through all three levels quickly.

 _Highly intelligent and with great chakra control,_ Anko thought. I _know exactly which two arts to teach you in the future._ Ino and Hinata had clan abilities, but Sakura did not, so other arrangements must be made for her. And now Anko knew exactly where to place her. But for now, she kept these thoughts to herself.

"You have great control, Sakura, but not very much chakra," she said. "Keep doing these techniques until you're exhausted every day and your strength will improve."

Ino and Hinata had more chakra to work with, but not as much control, so they focused on the long, hard process of mastering the three exercises.

Slowly, the girls' training began paying off. Their hand seals became lightning-fast and perfect, their spars quickly became blurs of speed, and they became even calmer and more determined in other areas of their training.

Anko thought it was about time to teach them ninjutsu. They were ready.

* * *

"Okay, now I teach you a few chakra-based arts," said Anko one day. The girls looked excited, and Anko smiled. "First is genjutsu breaking. Genjutsu are illusions. This entails either looking vigilantly for little details in your environment that reveal the illusion-based lie, or sensing genjutsu chakra weaving itself around you. Hinata can see through all genjutsu with her Byakugan eyes anyway, but she should still keep this in mind for the minority of techniques that can fool even the Byakugan."

Hinata nodded calmly.

"Once you have sensed the genjutsu, you move on to dispelling chakra into the air around you and breaking yourself free of the illusion. I will teach you both steps.

"But chakra isn't just limited to genjutsu breaking. I will also be teaching you four ninjutsu. Ninjutsu are all chakra-based techniques not illusion-based. The first is Transformation."

Anko made a hand seal and suddenly she became Kakashi.

"The second is Clone. This does not make real clones, but after-image illusory clones. Good for psyching an untrained enemy out."

Several clones of Kakashi formed around the original Kakashi. Anko let the Transformation dispel in a wave of chakra and she and all her clones became Anko again.

"The third is Replacement. You switch places with something in your immediate environment. Useful for fights."

Anko made a hand seal and a fallen log appeared in her place. Anko was suddenly off to their left side.

"The fourth technique I will teach you is not in the Academy curriculum. But it's a simple, useful little thing I learned in ANBU. It is called Paralysis, and you can use it against several enemies at once."

Anko made a hand seal and suddenly the girls felt their bodies go numb and spring together. Unable to move, they fell over flat on the ground. Just as suddenly, they were released, and they turned around, breathing hard. Anko was standing above them.

"So," she said, in an almost threatening way, smirking. "Shall we begin?"


	23. Chapter 23

23.

"You three have come far as Academy students," said Anko, and the girls smiled. "But I'm sorry to say it, simple Academy student knowledge will not be enough out in the field. You must each have specialized individual abilities. I want you to start training on those.

"Therefore, Hinata and Ino, I want you each to ask your fathers to train you in the highest clan arts."

Hinata swallowed, but nodded. Over her time as a student of Anko, her family had been dethroned for her in a sense and she saw her closest family members for who they truly were: her father's somewhat cruel arrogance, her cousin Neji's bitter obsession with pretending the philosopher, and her sister as a child who needed to be trained and did not fully understand anything outside her clan compound. Besides, through her psychological training, Hinata thought she knew just how to word the request. And her father no longer spoke of disappointment in her the way he used to.

Ino's nod was much simpler, straightforward and to the point. Her father would probably be ecstatic she'd taken an interest. In years past, he'd had to force her to learn a simple mind entry technique.

Sakura was frowning. "Sensei - what about me?"

"I have set you up with two private tutors, Sakura," said Anko calmly, nodding response to Sakura's point. "One is a genjutsu illusions specialist named Kurenai. The other is a medic-nin named Ume. It would be good to have a medic on the team anyway, and I thought we'd put your high levels of chakra control and intelligence to good use."

Sakura beamed, and her teammates smiled over at her, looking happy for her.

"Therefore - Sakura, I'll give you the time and location of your first meeting with each of your tutors - I want you all to go to each of your new teachers and formally ask for training."

* * *

"Father." Hinata bowed formally, her face revealing nothing, before her father in his private office. "I can now defeat Hanabi easily, and I can hold my own against Neji as well. I wish to do the main family proud, and learn the Hyuugas' highest secret arts. It would be of great honor to me if you would accept this request."

"Hinata… Usually it is only the clan heir who learns such arts. What do you have to say to that?" Hyuuga Hiashi's face, similarly, revealed nothing.

"Father, I believe it important that multiple main family members learn to carry on the Hyuuga name," said Hinata calmly.

Her father nodded thoughtfully in response to her point. "It is true you have proven yourself well in recent years, Hinata. You have come far… Very well. I will try teaching these arts to you. Let us see if you do not break under them."

Hinata bowed once more. "Thank you, Father."

The threat of failure did not frighten her. She knew herself well, and she also knew that Anko-sensei had requested this. If Anko-sensei had told Hinata she could be a better ninja by standing on her head and singing, Hinata would probably have done so.

* * *

"Dad." Ino stood before her parents at the kitchen table, determined. They looked up in surprise. "I think it's finally time I start taking the Yamanaka training seriously. I want you to train me in the Yamanakas' highest secret arts."

Ino's mother gave a small, approving smile, but it was Ino's father who positively beamed.

"You have no idea how long I've been waiting to hear you say that," he said.

Ino smiled.

* * *

Sakura went to each of her two teachers with the same speech.

First, she bowed low. "Please teach me your ways," she said. "I promise to learn as hard as I can and listen to all you have to teach me!"

Kurenai, a curvaceous woman with curly black hair and crimson eyes in a wrap dress, was reserved. Her face revealed nothing. "There is no need to bow, Sakura," she said. "I am always happy to teach new women the ways of illusion - especially if you've survived Anko's methods. Anko happens to be a good friend of mine, you know."

Ume was quite different. A brunette with a strictly lined face and a bun of hair in a white medic's uniform, she reminded Sakura a bit of Ino's mother. "Very well," she said, nodding sharply in response to Sakura's bow. "But the minute I see you slacking off, you're gone!"

"Yes, ma'am," said Sakura expressionlessly, still bowing.

When her teachers had turned away, she straightened and smirked, her eyes dancing. She was in.

* * *

"You already know the basics," said Hinata's father, on the Hyuuga sparring floor with no one else but Hinata around. "The Hyuuga have Byakugan eyes that can see through almost anything, including another's genjutsu or techniques. We use these eyes to see a person's tenketsu points and touch them with flashes of chakra, closing off a person's chakra and causing severe internal organ damage. Jyuuken means gentle fist or soft fist, and that is our taijutsu style. A mere touch from us can kill you. We block using the sides of our hands, one of the only places without tenketsu.

"But advanced Jyuuken has a few elements: chiefly, speed, precision, grace, and gentle touches. We don't shove our hands on someone in an ungainly way. One touch and you're done; that should be enough. If you do it right, someone unfamiliar with Hyuuga style should not even know they are being injured until it is too late.

"So the first two elements of your training come from this: you will improve your Byakugan eyesight by practicing staring at the grass in the main garden for hours, searching for insects on an even microscopic level - you will switch from close distance, to long distance, and back again. And you will practice sparring directly with me. I will correct you at every turn. Once someone is within arm's reach of you, we say that they are 'within your range of divination', which usually means they are dead.

"You will then learn out ultimate fast technique, Divine Sixty-Four Strikes, which closes off all a person's tenketsu points at high speeds within a few seconds, killing them almost instantly.

"But the Hyuuga have an additional bloodline ability, a little-known one. We can emanate chakra from all our tenketsu points at once. This means you can emanate cutting chakra, breaking yourself free of any bonds, which I will teach you. But it also means you can twirl, emanating chakra, and create an impenetrable dome of chakra around yourself, called Kaiten. This will block any attack. In true, proper Kaiten, the user learns to twirl not unlike a ballerina.

"This is a summary of what you will learn with me."

* * *

"The Yamanaka specialize in control," said Ino's father, alone in a Yamanaka clan back room with Ino. "There is the basic mind entry, which you know but will perfect. In this, as long as you are in a straight line from the victim, your mind enters their body and takes control of it. This is useful for information gathering and mind reading purposes, but it has several limitations.

"First, if you are injured in their body, your real body will be injured in the same way. And second, speaking of your real body, it is collapsed vulnerable and unconscious while you are in the other person's mind.

"So what I will be teaching you after mind control perfection is body control, what we Yamanaka use for combat. You still have to be in a straight line across from the other person, but you take control of their body and make it do your bidding while you are still in your own body. This takes away all other weaknesses. Your real body is not vulnerable, and if their body is injured it is not reflected back on you.

"You can see the applications. You could have an opponent kill his teammates and then himself - no harm done to you at all. You will eventually learn multiple-person body control, in which you take control of several people at once as long as they are in a straight line away from you at any angle. Think of yourself like a spider, weaving a web with your victims on your strings.

"You will also learn how to read minds from a distance and communicate with other minds of your choice telepathically, as well as sensing other minds in your area.

"This is a summary of what you will learn with me."

* * *

With Kurenai, Sakura met in a grassy training area.

"This is good for illusions because you can put any picture you want onto a nice, flat ground," said Kurenai.

Sakura met Ume, meanwhile, at the Konoha General Hospital.

"You will learn with me by doing," she said.

"Illusions require two things: great chakra control and great imagination," said Kurenai. "Genjutsu is good for disguising with a false picture while the real attack, or the escape, happens elsewhere. You can even trick enemies into killing each other, each thinking the other is you.

"But genjutsu has other applications. You can attack the enemy's mind, put them to sleep, and even give them the false feeling they are bound.

"Now, your illusions will be extremely imperfect at first. I will continually correct you, until you use a higher and higher level of detail. The more detail your illusion has, the harder it is to tell it's not the real thing. I will eventually be teaching you field-wide genjutsu - genjutsu directed toward more than one person - and layered genjutsu. Layered genjutsu means they break out of an illusion, think they've broken free, but walk right into another genjutsu layered on top of the first one. While this is happening, you can move around them and kill them.

"I will also be continually, on surprise, putting you through my own illusions. A true genjutsu master can break out of any illusion, no matter how advanced. And I will teach you how genjutsu masters attack each other with illusions.

"This is a summary of what you will learn with me."

Meanwhile, Ume told Sakura, "First, you will master human anatomy, injuries, poisons and antidotes, and diseases. This will require great study and great field work. Then you will learn to emanate green healing chakra over a wounded or infected area and suck out the bad, leaving only good left. This will require enormous chakra control. Then you will use chakra scalpel and learn surgery.

"Healers must fight self defensively, because their teammates need them to stay alive, but that doesn't mean they cannot fight. In addition to senbon study and poisons, which I hear you already have with Anko, I will teach you to attack nerve clusters with bursts of highly controlled chakra, use chakra scalpel for surgery like a weaponized knife, and concentrate high bursts of chakra into your punches and kicks to make craters in the ground.

"This is a summary of what you will learn with me."

* * *

And so it began.


	24. Chapter 24

24.

"Sensei, what are we learning today?" All three girls were seated before Anko at their usual training ground, tense, one afternoon.

Anko raised her hands. "That's what I want to talk to you about. We won't be doing anything related to being a ninja today."

The girls frowned.

"But Sensei -"

"We could be training -"

"I know. And I'm proud of your work ethic. But this week only, you won't be doing any training. Or rather, I should say, you'll be doing non-ninja training. Remember when I told you that you needed a way to express yourself other than being a ninja?

"Now is when that comes into play. I have talked to your instructors already. I want you to each take a week, and find several hobbies that actually take time out of your day and have nothing to do with being a ninja."

"But we have slumber parties and concerts with you guys!"

"Occasionally. You need something steadier than that for when you graduate as ninja. I also want you each to find a way to relax, at the end of the day or after a mission, that has nothing to do with being a ninja.

"This is helpful so you don't snap and go insane like Sasuke's genius brother, and countless others less famous than him."

The girls sobered; they looked thoughtful.

* * *

Hinata had some trouble at first. She tried sports, and mostly those just made her confused and unhappy. She tried writing, drawing, painting, and reading - they were nice, but not really her thing. She even tried gardening, which had been her mother's biggest hobby. She knelt among the flower beds and tried to feel Zen and one with nature, but mostly what she just felt was boredom.

She was despairing of what to do when she walked by the kitchen and saw some branch retainer women within. She stopped, curious. She'd always found cooking very base, but… well, she'd tried everything else, hadn't she?

She decided to try baking, since she had such a big sweet tooth.

And there, she found her passion. She found the joy of creating something without all the attendant insecurity of writing or painting. From there, she moved on to other kinds of crafts. She didn't think herbal remedies would count with Anko, as she'd taught them how to make those and they could be used for ninja purposes. But she did try flower pressing (instead of gardening), jewelry making, origami, and ikebana.

Her relaxation technique was much easier to find. She already meditated each night before bed anyway.

So Hinata's hobbies became crafts, chiefly flower pressing, baking, jewelry making, origami, and ikebana. Her relaxation technique became meditation.

* * *

Ino already did have something she did outside being a ninja, which was tend to her Mom's flower shop, but somehow she didn't think a job would count as a hobby or a relaxation technique with Anko. So she had to go for something else.

So she tried painting and drawing, and discovered it to be her thing. She loved the risk and boldness, the capacity for mistakes and mess, that Hinata hadn't liked. She'd also already always enjoyed window shopping, so she could count that as a hobby. And she had enjoyed their traditional dance section, so she joined a dance studio and capitalized on that.

Her relaxation techniques were harder to discover, so she went online and ended up finding ASMR videos. These were her true calling, and she started them as a way to power down each night.

So Ino's hobbies became painting, drawing, window shopping, and traditional dance. Her relaxation technique became ASMR videos, from guided meditation to self hypnosis to standard tingle videos.

* * *

Like with Ino, Sakura's hobbies were easy to find, but her relaxation techniques were harder.

Her hobbies were obvious and they came naturally - hobbies of the mind. She read books (that had nothing to do with medicine or the ninja arts), did crossword and sudoku puzzles, and wrote poetry and sayings.

But she wasn't sure how to relax without doing something ninja-oriented like working out. So she decided to ask her mother.

"Well, I always discover a nice relaxing soak in the bath and a cup of hot herbal tea helps me relax at the end of a long day," said her mother.

And Sakura did get all into the bath thing, with body washes, bubble baths, bath salts, and the like. She also tried different herbal teas, the chamomile and spearmint flavor being her favorite.

So Sakura's hobbies became books, poetry writing, and crossword and sudoku puzzles. Her relaxation technique became a bubble bath each evening with a cup of hot herbal tea.

* * *

In addition to slumber parties and concerts, Anko decided to add another thing the team could do together to their growing list.

"This one's a little more frequent," she said. She was standing next to Kakashi, who had come along with them. She waved enthusiastically to the coffee shop behind them. "Coffee! The magic Western happiness drink!"

"Helps you wake up in the morning," said Kakashi, nodding. "And on the plus side, in today's culture, you don't even have to like the taste of actual coffee to drink it."

"So… we sit around and… drink coffee?" The girls were mystified.

"And you use the free wifi to play around on your phones," said Anko, shrugging.

It sounded stupid, but in the end they grew to really enjoy it, especially on summer days when they could sit at an umbrella table outside and sip at blended coffees. Hinata's favorite flavor became vanilla bean creme with caramel and toffee nut. Ino's was java chip with whipped cream mixed in and a shot of cinnamon dolce. Sakura's was caramel with apple juice mixed in.

* * *

"This is all excellent," said Anko. "It's important that you be well-rounded people in addition to being well-rounded ninja."


	25. Chapter 25

25.

Ino's mother watched her daughter lead someone through crafting the perfect bouquet at Yamanaka Flowers.

She was not a woman prone to great shows of emotion. But even she could admit, under Mitarashi's tutelage, Ino had come far. It showed in everything: she dressed better for a kunoichi yet still managed to look good, they never had trouble from her anymore, she trained hard and took her clan responsibilities seriously, was much less easily shaken, and more than that she was much friendlier. She'd blossomed into a bubbly, mischievous, playful young woman, a consummate shopper and dancer with great creativity and many strong techniques and two good, solid friends her age. She rarely argued with her parents anymore and treated them with respect.

She even helped out in the shop more often than she used to.

Ino's mother was nothing like her daughter and was not prone to great bursts of emotion, but as Ino came back from helping out their latest customers she said reservedly, "I am proud of you, Ino. I know your father is, too."

Ino looked up curiously. Her mother couldn't find it within herself to continue. She was not that kind of person. "You know I am not good with these things," she said awkwardly at last, straightening her long, dour, high-collared dress.

Ino smiled. "Yeah, Dad's ecstatic at the change in me," she said, amused. "He tells me so all the time. But this is the first time I've heard it from you."

Ino's mother looked down, her lips thin.

Ino had accepted her Mom the way she was a long time ago, though. One of those useful things Zen training had taught her. "Hey, Mom," she said, and her mother looked up. "I was wrong about what I said that night. I'm proud to have you as my Mom."

At last, Ino's mother gave a small smile. Ino smiled back, and for just a moment, two vastly different women were on the same page.

* * *

"I'm off to go train!" Sakura said one day, walking toward the front door. She heard nothing behind her for once, and she paused and looked around curiously at her mother. "You're not going to complain about my training to be a ninja?" she asked.

Sakura's mother sighed, shifting uncomfortably.

Ever since she'd been a child, Sakura had been a dour, shy, miserable young girl. If Sakura's mother were honest with herself, she could admit ninja training was not the culprit - it had always been that way, ever since Sakura was old enough to have begun playing with other children. But she was highly intelligent and she carried a secret fire, a fierce desire to be important. She'd gotten that from her father. Sometimes Sakura's mother wished he hadn't died when Sakura had been an infant. Maybe he'd have known what to do in these situations.

But for a long time, Sakura's mother had been worried about her. Sakura had been snappish and judgmental, had kept a lot pent up inside, and had rarely talked to her mother about anything, instead burying herself in her academic studies. Sakura's mother had blamed ninja training.

Then Anko had come along.

And abruptly, Sakura had blossomed. She'd started talking to her mother, admitting to a long childhood history of being bullied. A history she herself had ended by finally standing up to her bullies under the influence of Anko. She'd begun expressing how she was feeling, in constructive, healthy ways; she'd even found hobbies and ways to express herself outside being a ninja. She'd become much calmer and more open-minded, less judgmental, she'd begun dressing more confidently, and even her personality had blossomed. She'd turned into a quiet, mysterious girl with a hidden wit and sense of humor, a certain glimmer to her eye.

Sakura had told her mother about how she'd been training, and Sakura's mother could admit, it all sounded amazing. So far beyond her she could not dream of it. Sakura had moved beyond her.

But at last, she'd accepted that.

"No, Sakura," said her mother. "No complaining. No nagging. Not anymore. You are going to be a kunoichi, I cannot believe otherwise. I do not agree with your path, but I accept it."

Excitement lit Sakura's face, and her mother smiled. Then Sakura added sheepishly, "You know… You can still nag me sometimes. I've realized it's just because you care."

"I will keep that in mind," her mother said.

* * *

Hiashi had known from the beginning how the spar would end.

"Neji and Hinata, you will spar together," he intoned sternly, with dignity, on the Hyuuga mat one day. "You will not use chakra bursts to hurt one another, but every hit counts as an actual hit as if it were a fight."

Neji was already filled with anxious energy upon the start of the fight. He believed strongly in fate, in the weak always remaining weak, therefore Hinata keeping him on his toes had surprised him, and, Hiashi, believed, it may have frightened him as well. Hiashi had often wished in previous years that Neji had been his son, but Neji's fearful and angry reaction to Hinata's progress had made him rethink this. Hiashi himself was bound by no such narrow-minded ideology.

And therefore, as the spar between Neji and Hinata began, he could admit that his eldest daughter had improved. Mitarashi Anko had done her job to perfection.

While Hinata's newfound more sexual dress was questionable, Hiashi could not deny it was proper for a kunoichi. And the confidence it seemed to confer spoke for itself. Hinata was now a calm, quiet, graceful, and dignified young woman, no longer shy and timid, hard to rattle, and a fierce fighter. She was everything a Hyuuga heiress should be. She had progressed splendidly in the main family's secret arts, in part because now she was actually willing to fight back.

Yet she still hadn't lost that sweet and kind and pleasant essence of herself that Hiashi could admit, in his darker moments, reminded him of his late wife, Hinata's mother who she had as a young child so much revered. She did sometimes debase herself by pottering around in the kitchen, but her mother had insisted on doing all the gardening by hand; both women, in their quiet way, had been rebels of humility.

He now looked between her and Hanabi, who also seemed angrier and angrier the more and more she lost to her rapidly progressing older sister… and he wondered, and regretted. If he'd waited a few years before doing the match between Hanabi and Hinata, would he have made the better choice? Hiashi was not used to questioning himself, and the seeming lack of logic in his original decision now bothered him. What, after all, could be found from two untrained children? This was not a time of war.

That led him to today.

From the beginning, the battle was fierce. Hinata and Neji's hands were mere flashes of pale white, blocks and hits coming at alarming speeds. If this were a real fight, they would be quite far into killing each other - but slowly, it became obvious that Hinata had the upper hand. Neji kept backtracking and backtracking, getting angrier and angrier, and therefore more and more flustered.

"You cannot defeat me!" Neji spat at last. "You are fated to be weak!"

"As you are, cousin," said Hinata calmly, "even a weakling could defeat you." Neji seemed to take this as a personal insult, but Hiashi knew what Hinata really meant - a flustered fighter was a blinded one.

So Neji went in for a heart based attack - and Hinata blocked. "You are within my range of divination," she said in an eerie voice, her face expressionless, and she used Neji's brief opening to hit Neji right in the heart instead.

Hiashi stood. "The fight is over. Hinata has won."

Neji backed up, disbelief written all over his face, breathing hard. He had always been the genius of the clan. "Hinata-sama," he spat at last, bowing low, and he left without seeing the result of their fight. Knowing Neji, he probably already knew.

"Hinata," Hiashi intoned deeply, in the view of all the clan, "you have now proven yourself the most powerful child of the Hyuuga. You comport yourself with dignity and decorum. As the eldest child, you are fit to be my heir, and that is what I am now making you. I am reinstating you as my heiress."

Hinata's eyes widened. Then she knelt and bowed low. "... Thank you, Father."

Hanabi shot to her feet, anger clouding her features. "But Father -!"

"True Hyuuga do not shout and complain, Hanabi," said Hiashi.

Hanabi glared at her sister and then stormed out of the room behind Neji.

"Leave, Hinata," said Hiashi. He kept going back to the day he had saved her when she was three. A good choice, then but especially now.

Hinata nodded and made to leave, impossible to read. "Hinata." Hinata paused at the door. "You have made me proud this day."

Hinata smiled, her back to the clan. "Thank you, Father."

As she left, padding silently down the compound hall past the shouji doors, she gave a thought to her sister and cousin. They were very angry with her. But right now their anger was not her concern. She loved them and would continue to do so.

Hinata was no longer overwhelmed and terrified of what people would think of her. She had given up being suicidal a long time ago.

* * *

Kakashi knew Anko probably suspected something was up. A few days ago, he had requested a private tea ceremony in their home, just the two of them, and he'd actually shown up on time.

But Anko was excellent, calm and sweet as she was at no other time, playing the perfect hostess all the way through the ceremony and never once showing what she was truly feeling. They got to the usucha section, when talking was allowed, and Anko finally asked slyly, "So, Kakashi. What do you want? You know, if you'd like to try something new in the bedroom, you could've just asked me -"

"I want to get married."

Anko stopped short, her eyes widening. Kakashi congratulated himself. For the first time in their relationship, he'd surprised Mitarashi Anko.

He took a deep breath, drew up his courage, told himself to suck it up, and made the speech. "Look. I'm not very good with these sorts of things. But you're my best friend and I can't really imagine myself spending the rest of my life with anyone else, so -" He stopped, looked away. "I love you," he admitted quietly.

There it was. The big L word.

"... Kakashi," said Anko, pained, "it's not that I don't want to… it's just…" Kakashi braced himself for a negative answer. He was not prepared for what came next. "I'm scared," she whispered, looking down. "It always happens to me… Whenever things get too happy, I -"

"You think of Orochimaru," Kakashi realized. They didn't talk about him very much. There was a pause.

Kakashi leaned forward, placing a hand over Anko's. "I am not him," he said quietly, steadily. "I'm loyal to a fault and I don't let anything happen to my precious people. People I love. It's a policy of mine. I know I'm usually not exactly one for commitment, but I think we can make this work."

Anko looked up, as if searching for some sign of deception. He smiled, his eye crinkling. "Don't worry so much," he said. "Everything will be okay."

"... I love you, too," Anko admitted. Then she took her own deep breath and screwed up her own courage. "Alright," she said, and she couldn't believe the words that were about to come out of her mouth. "... I will marry you."


	26. Chapter 26

26.

Everyone came out to Anko and Kakashi's wedding. Neither of them had any surviving family, but Hinata and the entirety of the Hyuuga clan showed up in honor of the clan heiress's great teacher. Ino and her parents attended, as did all other members of the Yamanaka clan, Sakura and her mother, and Kurenai. On Kakashi's side, Kakashi's closest and also most eccentric and overly-romantic friend Maito Gai attended, as did his new Genin team, consisting of Neji and two other older students named Lee and Tenten. The Hokage, his son Asuma and his grandson Konohamaru, and his two elderly advisors Koharu and Homura were there as well.

Kakashi and Anko had decided to hyphenate their surname, into Hatake-Mitarashi. It was also a ren'ai, meaning the couple had met and decided to marry on their own. (As opposed to an omiai, an arranged marriage.)

Hinata, Ino, and Sakura had helped Anko figure out what to wear. Kurenai had put in her word as well. Anko was wearing a kurobiki furisode, a fancy black and white patterned kimono, with a tsunokakushi hat which they thought had looked cute on her. Kakashi was wearing a black crested haori jacket and a loose, skirt-like hakama with a vertical stripe.

The actual ceremony was conducted in the main building of a shrine. The guests knelt in rows in formal kimono - usually this was just for families, but as there was no family Kakashi and Anko had insisted they all could be there - and watched as a priest performed a ritual purification for the couple. Hinata, Sakura, and Ino were smiling, watching as the priest did this in signification of a spiritual cleansing for the couple in preparation for a new step in life. They were happy for their Sensei. The marriage was then announced to the kami (or Shinto gods) of the shrine, and the blessing of the gods was asked. The bride and the groom took three sips each from three different cups of sake wine, in a ritual called sansankudo.

Kakashi, as the groom, was supposed to read the words of commitment alone, but Anko wouldn't take that lying down so they took turns reading. At the end of the ceremony, symbolic offerings were given to the kami.

* * *

The reception at a nearby hotel was far more wild.

The room was decorated in gold origami cranes. Gifts were given to each of the guests as they entered, little favors and tokens, and there was a three-course meal served and for a while there was just mingling in the general reception room.

"HYUUGA HIASHI-SAN! I AM GLAD WE COULD PUT ASIDE OUR DIFFERENCES AND BE TOGETHER FOR THIS JOYOUS OCCASION!" Maito Gai, a giant of a man with a bowl cut and thick eyebrows, exclaimed to Hinata's father, leaping into the air beside Hiashi's seat. Even in formal kimono, he was still wearing green.

"... Indeed, Maito-san," said Hiashi in a tone of surrender, as if giving in to the inevitable and already nursing a very bad headache because of it.

"YOSH! YOU TRULY DO BURN WITH THE POWER OF YOUTH!"

"No," said Hiashi. "I do not."

That was when Lee, who looked an eerie parody of his Sensei, chimed in. "GAI-SENSEI! THAT IS SOMETHING ONLY SOMEONE WHO IS TRYING TO HIDE THE POWER OF YOUTH WOULD SAY!"

"INDEED! LEE! WE MUST SHOW HIM THE WAY!"

"Hideko," Hiashi muttered to his branch retainer guard standing behind him. "Remove these two from my presence."

Hideko looked frightened, but he swallowed and said, "Yes, sir," gamely and moved forward.

Neji had his face in his hands. Tenten, a cute girl with her brown hair in a complex bun arrangement, patted him comfortingly on the shoulder, looking amused.

"So is what happened to Lee eventually going to happen to you two?" said Ino, deadpan. Hinata could not speak because she was trying to muffle gales of laughter.

"Ino!" her mother scolded gently, though her father also looked like he was trying not to laugh.

But Tenten nodded, her eyes wide. "That's our greatest fear," she said with feel. "So... " she added curiously. "You're Anko's students? But you're Academy students?"

"It's complicated," said Ino.

On the other side of the room, Asuma was trying to flirt with Kurenai, and Sakura and her mother were watching in uncertain amusement as Konohamaru repeatedly tried to attack his grandfather. "Fight me old man! The title of Fifth Hokage belongs to me, Konohamaru!"

Konohamaru tripped on his formal wear and fell flat on his face.

The Hokage sighed. "Even at weddings?"

"Er - is he okay?" Sakura asked, pointing at Konohamaru.

"Oh, yes, he's sturdier than he looks," the Hokage assured her cheerfully. "He'll be eating the whole three course meal in no time."

Koharu sniffed. "Quite an unconventional wedding anyway."

"Yes, indeed," said Homura stiffly. "Letting the guests see the ceremony. Reading off the words of commitment together."

"What were they supposed to do, not have anyone at their wedding ceremony?" Sakura asked coldly, cross. "I thought it was beautiful the way everyone came together like that. And it's good that they said their words of commitment together. It means more coming from both of them. The old method is outdated."

"Sakura -" her mother was hissing in frightened humiliation, pulling at her sleeve, but Koharu had looked her sharply in the eye.

"You're the Haruno girl, yes? Well, you certainly are loyal to your Sensei." Koharu looked at her for a moment, Sakura glaring defiantly back. "Hmph. Perhaps you are a match for Mitarashi Anko, a Hyuuga, and a Yamanaka after all." Koharu looked away.

And Sakura's mother ended up looking very confused.

"Sakura is also my pupil, and she works at the hospital. She is an excellent student," said Kurenai warmly. Asuma was looking between everything curiously.

Kakashi and Anko had simply been watching everything, sitting and holding hands underneath the table, smiling and at peace. But now Anko cleared her throat and tapped her glass. Everyone looked around…

And Maito Gai got up to make a speech.

"He got _Maito-san_ to make his speech?" Koharu whispered, appalled, as Asuma broke down laughing.

"And they say Hatake Kakashi doesn't have a sense of humor!" he forced out, breathless with laughter.

And Gai's speech began:

"YOSH! From the moment I met Hatake Kakashi, he has always been my very cool rival! He defeated me at the Chuunin Exams, but then I defeated him in a game of rock paper scissors, and we now stand with me at 62 wins and 63 losses! He claims there is no contest, in a game of psychological warfare no doubt, but I will persevere!

"As a cool rival, Kakashi acts like he does not care, but I know he cares very much! He is a strong ninja I respect and I know he and Anko-san will take good care of each other! Right, Kakashi?"

"I'm sorry, I wasn't listening. What was that?" said Kakashi, deadpan.

"AH! That is the perfect response, my cool rival! You win this round!"

And with that, Gai sat down and everyone clapped uncertainly. Anko just looked amused, and it was a good thing, because a less easier going woman might have been very upset.

Kakashi once more congratulated himself on his good choice. If she could handle the weirdness of Gai, he thought, she could handle anything.

Then came Kurenai's speech for Anko:

"When I heard Mitarashi Anko was going to settle down and get hitched, my first words were: _You're kidding me._ "

There was some laughter.

"But I've spent a lot of time around Kakashi and Anko by now, and I don't really think of it like that anymore. They're weirdly perfect for each other, right down to the sex jokes and the casual brutality. Neither of them is really the settling down and having kids type, but I think that's why it works, because they're both also incredibly loyal to each other. They're both strong ninja and they understand the costs of that, so they're able to support each other when stuff gets bad, and frankly I think that's extremely important."

There were some here here's.

"So here's a toast: to Kakashi and Anko." She raised her glass.

"To Kakashi and Anko!" everyone toasted.

And then Team Kunoichi crowded up at the front of the reception room.

"Hi, everybody! We're Anko's annoying little students!" said Ino, waving.

"We're here to set the record straight: we got them together," said Sakura.

"We literally went up to Kakashi and said he should go on a date with our Sensei. He realized aloud to himself that thirteen year olds were telling him he needed a more fulfilling love life. I said that he should take that as a sign," said Hinata.

By now, everyone was laughing. Kakashi had ducked his head with good natured sheepishness, and Anko was grinning.

"So he did! And here we are!" said Ino. "And we're here to say, having seen Anko and Kakashi off on their very first date…"

"First, that we have excellent judgment," said Sakura. More laughter.

"And second, that we couldn't think of two people more perfect for each other," said Hinata, smiling.

"Congratulations, Anko-sensei!" all three echoed as one.

At the end of it all, Anko got up to say a few words. "I would like to get serious here for a minute," she said, "and say that I think for a long time, Kakashi and I both felt like we were pretty alone in the world. But now we have each other, and if today is proven anything, it's that we also have all of you. So I would like to thank you for that. I would also like to thank you for -"

"Just kiss already!" Ino shouted, hands around her mouth, so Kakashi grabbed Anko and did a dip and kissed her and everyone clapped and cheered.

* * *

Kakashi and Anko went off for a week-long honeymoon to the hot springs up in the touristy area of Fire Country. When Anko came back, her team teased her mercilessly and she made them run extra laps.

But inside, Anko was happy. She realized she had overcome her past. She did have a family and friends, after all.


	27. Chapter 27

_Author's Note:_ This is the end of arc one.

* * *

27.

"Here's how it's going to work from here," Anko told her students one day in their regular training field. "The Genin Exam will be held at the Academy in a few weeks time." Hinata, Ino, and Sakura straightened. "Over the next few weeks, I will be putting you through a rigorous set of tests where you will show me everything you have learned with me over the course of these four years. Then, if I feel you are ready, I will send you on to the Academy, where you will spend a few days reviewing for the Exam in Iruka's classroom with your old class before taking the Exam with him.

"If you all pass, we will come back together as a team. I will still be your Jounin, but you will be ninja."

The girls beamed, brightening, and Anko gave a small smile too. "It's exciting," she said. "But first: tests!"

* * *

And so Anko went all-out.

First, she made the girls go through an all-day workout without stopping or passing out - they all made it all the way through the workout. Then they had to take a paper test on how to eat and drink when exercising, which they all passed.

Then she took them through every single element of seducing a man.

They each did a private tea ceremony with her. All girls showed the proper calm, peace, and grace, and were dressed in plain dark kimono; none of them made a single mistake. Ino was bright and smiling and cheerful without being bubbly or over-enthusiastic; she always went for the happy message. Sakura still used little artistic signs of melancholy and quiet, understated elegance, but she was not entirely solemn and serious; rather, she used little hints of smiles and dancing eyes to create an illusion of mystery. Hinata was quiet and traditional and elegant, with small, sweet, humble smiles and delicately beautiful, brave little artistic touches littered all throughout her work.

They each made an ikebana arrangement. Sakura and Hinata used more traditional Seikka arrangements; Ino used a wild and alternative Moribana arrangement.

Then came the cooking tests - they all had to make each and every single dish Anko had taught them, and then Anko taste-tested each for quality. She especially looked for individual styles in the curry they made - Hinata's was filled with vegetables, Ino's was extra-spicy with lots of meat and browned onions, Sakura's was less spicy and filled with sweeteners like mango and honey.

Then they had to dress in kimono that complimented their coloring, which they all did. (They also each had a weapon disguised as a decoration and showed Anko the place they would stow it on their outfit.) Then they each had to choose a casual outfit which they thought best exemplified their various shapes and seasonal colors. And at last, they each had to model their fashionable yet economical kunoichi outfit and haircut for Anko:

Hinata's haircut was the long, loose half-ponytail with the straight part so that her long bangs framed her face. Her kunoichi outfit was an icy grey kunoichi wrap dress with a V neckline.

Ino's haircut was somewhere between chin length and shoulder length. Her kunoichi outfit was a strapless rose brown kunoichi dress.

Sakura's haircut was a sleek crop cut. Her kunoichi outfit was a light, clear navy kunoichi shift dress.

They also modeled makeup that emphasized their features, yet was simple and economical.

Then they painted their necks, dressed in kimono, and performed twisting, seductive dances with their sensu fans for Anko. They each had to model shyness, yet mischief, without ever actually saying anything, and the acting had to be spot on. They each did an individual dance before coming together for a collective group dance.

Then they each had to submit a beautiful poem or saying in perfect calligraphy. Sakura's was by far the most masterful.

They each had to state one thing they'd learned from Zen Buddhism:

"To be calm and open minded and not be judgmental," said Sakura.

"To find joy in daily life and humility, and times to relax and take a breather," said Ino.

"To see other people as they really are, not as you want them to be or fear them to be," said Hinata.

And then came the physical seduction sections. First, they each had to pass a paper test on sex ed. Then they had to demonstrate their flirtation, games, and conversation skills to Anko, alongside their training in drinking without getting drunk, by spending a night with her and pretending she was a guy. In this, they each had to fully demonstrate their personae:

Hinata was one of smooth, dignified, calm elegance, with slight, shy smiles. She was soft spoken and sweet and she paid lots of compliments.

Ino was extroverted, bubbly, playful, and seductive. She was great at getting under people's armor and just having fun.

Sakura was beautiful, sensual, and mysterious, with dancing eyes showing a hint of mischief.

At the end, Anko asked: "What's the most important thing to remember when seducing?"

They all answered immediately: "Never fall in love with the man you're seducing."

Then they each showed massage and strip tease technique mastery, and talked in the abstract of what Anko had told them about tips for sex.

Last but not least, they each took psychological tests on what to remember when it came to murder and rape out in the field.

They took an extensive academic written test next, which included ciphers and codes, mathematics, reading comprehension, essay writing, history, geographical labeling, international relations, the standard layout of a Hidden Village, chakra theory, and they had to not only relay all fifty ninja rules, they had to explain what each one would mean for a ninja out in the field.

For the fighting section, they started out doing taijutsu spars with one another, using only standard taijutsu (no Jyuuken). Ino volunteered to spar twice, so that Sakura could go up against her the first time, Hinata the second time. Here, the point was not to win, but rather to display extensive taijutsu knowledge, including how to fight as a woman to overcome men being physically stronger. Their spars were all done at high speeds, showcasing their ability to channel chakra into their arms and legs.

They showed tree and roof jumping skills, and then they sparred once more with similar rules for the weaponry section. They had to display the fast unleashing of weapons from sealing scrolls, along with proficiency in ropes, chains, cords, sticks, staffs, ninja canes, swords, kunai, shuriken, and senbon.

They each took a test in how to make herbal medicines and poisons, and then a separate test in how to lace their weapons with those poisons. They took turns binding each other and breaking out of binds, took a test in how to use ninja wire and explosive tags, and then they took a separate test in sketching maps, routes, landmarks, and faces.

They had to break in and out of a building, and then stealthily creep through a forbidden, fenced off field, without getting caught. They took a test in acting and disguise, by putting on an innocent, disarming act appropriate for a woman. They took two written tests: one in espionage information, one in psychological warfare information.

They took turns suppressing their chakra and sensing one another out (no bloodline limits involved), and related to this they also took tests in trap making. True to form, Sakura used a false trap on the outside and a true trap on the inside, a hidden trip wire trap that triggered weapons. Ino buried explosive tags under the ground and covered them with grass. Hinata used a hidden containment seals trap. Then they hid and waited to see if their teammates could find them and discover the trap before it was too late.

Anko set them out into the middle of a forest blindfolded for survival training testing, and then made them spend a night in the forest and then find their way back out to the village (no phones or even compasses or maps involved).

They went together through several team building, strategy, and psychological puzzle exercises, and took a brief written test on things to remember when working with a team out in the field.

They displayed all three chakra exercises multiple times, to signify both control and endurance. Then they each broke out of a genjutsu of Anko's (no Byakugan involved), and displayed speed at hand seals, skill at chakra mixing, then all four ninjutsu: Replacement, Clone, Transformation, and Paralysis (on each other).

Then they each showed off their individual abilities:

Hinata displayed advanced, graceful, gentle, and fast Jyuuken taijutsu touches and advanced-level Byakugan all-seeing eyes, as well as Divine Sixty Four Strikes, the ability to emanate cutting chakra from her tenketsu, and the Kaiten dome shield in which she twirled like a ballerina.

Ino displayed body control - both single person and multiple person, in which she was a spider with people on her strings - and mind-body transfer, along with mind-reading from a distance (as long as she could look the other person in the eye), telepathic mind communication with select people, and the ability to sense other minds in her area.

Sakura displayed genjutsu illusion abilities, including a picture disguise while the real escape or attack happened elsewhere, mind attacks, sleep attacks, binding attacks, layered genjutsu and field-wide genjutsu, genjutsu on genjutsu attacks, and genjutsu tricking enemies into attacking each other. She also displayed healing, both actual diagnosis and green healing chakra, and a mastery of medicines and antidotes, senbon and poisons, attacking nerve clusters with bursts of highly controlled chakra, chakra scalpel used as a knife, and high chakra concentrated punches and kicks that left craters in the ground.

They each talked about the hobbies and relaxation techniques they'd taken up outside being a ninja. They described their schedule: to focus on missions, but to always power down after missions and at the end of the day, and when not on missions, to physically exercise and train the first half of the day, then do for-fun things the second half.

Their hobbies in summary:

For Hinata, crafts, chiefly flower pressing, baking, jewelry making, origami, and ikebana. Her relaxation technique was meditation.

For Ino, in addition to working at her Mom's flower shop, painting, drawing, window shopping, and traditional dance. Her relaxation technique was ASMR videos, from guided meditation to self hypnosis to standard tingle videos.

For Sakura, reading, crossword and sudoku puzzles, and poetry writing. Her relaxation technique was a bubble bath each evening with a cup of hot herbal tea.

They also had collective hobbies, chiefly concerts, slumber parties, and hanging out at coffee shops together.

"You are all fifteen and sixteen year olds, so you're old enough," said Anko at last. "... Yes, I think that's everything. You all pass. Congratulations."

There was a moment of tension - and then an explosion as the girls jumped around, cheering and hugging each other.

Anko had some final words for her team before sending them back off to the Academy:

"Let me just finish by saying this. Without wanting to sound sappy, you guys have surpassed my every expectation and grown more than I thought possible. And you've helped me grow along with you. You have been a great team, and I hope you will continue to do well as my Genin team after this is all said and done.

"Hinata, you possess an admirable ability to land on your feet, to make the right choice, to snatch advantage from the jaws of catastrophe. You create your own luck and that will serve you well in the long run. You are also firm, brave, you can handle the toughest of things with dignity, and you have a good sense of humor.

"Ino, you may be bubbly, but you also have presence, dexterity, and a certain native grace and sophistication. You are elegant, fun, playful, and are capable of many great things.

"Sakura, you never fail to surprise me. It has been amazing watching you grow into a strong kunoichi. I have watched you grow in courage and confidence, and you have amazed me at every turn with unexpected and previously-hidden talents. You are the ultimate woman of mystery and determination. You are the kind of person who is capable of surprising anyone who doubts your abilities, and who will never stop growing and learning.

"You are all ready to become ninja. I wish you luck and I know you'll do well."


	28. Chapter 28

28.

"Class," said Iruka, smiling, "we have some very special students to welcome back with us today. This is Jounin Anko's team - your former classmates. They have decided to spend the last few days reviewing with us before their final Genin Exam."

Hinata gave a slight smile, Ino a little wave, and Sakura was reserved, hand on her hip. They were standing in front of their old Academy classroom, the long rows of tables in rising tiers, filled with bored-looking teenagers around their age. The windows on the far right wall still shone light onto the space. Each girl saw their old crushes among the students, and felt a flash of previous heartbreak again. Naruto and Sasuke had both become quite handsome, whatever else they were. That first heartbreak - some said you never really got over it.

"I hope you will all treat them with courtesy and respect," said Iruka. "Girls, please find your seats."

Hinata, Ino, and Sakura found an empty three-person table at the back and took seats beside each other.

"So," said Iruka, clapping his hands. "To begin class."

* * *

Team Kunoichi sat in a circle underneath a tree in the back courtyard for lunch. They each had brought hearty lunches they had made themselves, and traded food with each other, trying each other's meals.

"Trying to get fat, are we?" They turned around to find Ami and her posse standing there. "Hello, girls. You look much bigger since the last time I saw you. Horizontally, I mean, not vertically." Ami smirked. There were titters.

"Wow, Ami used big words," said Hinata, mock impressed.

"Yeah, it's just like old times," said Ino boredly, sitting back on her hands. "Ami's being a bitch while everyone else is just trying to live their normal lives."

Ami flushed and stepped forward, her hand flashing out - and in a blur of speed, Sakura caught it and clenched it so hard Ami cried out. "Try it," said Sakura, smirking. "I dare you."

Ami looked Sakura in the eye - and then looked down. She eyed Team Kunoichi suspiciously, stepping back and clutching her hand. "Just stay out of my way," she said.

"We were never _in_ your way," said Ino flatly, "Ami."

Just then, Sasuke walked by. "Oooh, Sasuke-kun -!" The girls were immediately distracted as if by a shiny new bauble, and they ran away to chase after Sasuke. He gave them a cold, scathing look, before pretending to ignore them and walking faster.

Meanwhile, they saw Naruto trying to break into Iruka's office through a window, smirking and holding a frog.

Team Kunoichi looked at each other and then rolled their eyes slightly, looking down and snorting with laughter. "Just like old times," said Ino wryly, and Sakura and Hinata agreed.

And indeed, it _was_ just like old times. It was weird to think that they'd changed so much and no one else seemed to have. It was like everything was exactly the same as it was four years ago. Even Shikamaru and Chouji were the same, hanging out in the exact same spot, lazing back snacking and cloud watching together. And just as it had been four years ago, they wouldn't even spar with each other, each fearing they'd hurt the other person. Sakura, Ino, and Hinata had moved beyond fear and weak punches years ago, but Iruka seemed to pander to such things. Anko-sensei would never have allowed any of it.

The Academy curriculum was strange. The history section left out so many important details, the paralysis technique wasn't taught, and the only weapons taught were kunai and shuriken. Among other oddities. There was also nothing about poisons, espionage, or psychological warfare. There was nothing about how to keep from becoming mentally unstable while being a ninja. The ninja rules were given with no explanation. The ninja's role in the world, as the dishonorable and subtle ones, was similarly never explained. The kunoichi lessons were almost laughable, and the future kunoichi themselves were slathered in makeup and inconvenient hair, skinny, giggling, and boy-crazed. They fought with each other and called each other names on a near-constant basis. The shyer ones never said anything at all. Hinata, Sakura, and Ino stuck uneasily with each other, feeling out of place.

They reviewed diligently what little Iruka did teach them, sparred through the rest with each other in their free time, and kept their heads down, politely trying to get through it all.

One day, Naruto made his presence known particularly… virulently.

First, he didn't show up at all that morning, and it was the last day before the Exam. Not that Naruto actually got good grades or had mastered all the ninja techniques - quite the opposite, in fact. He was particularly bad in the academic arts. So his choice not to come the day before the ninja corps entrance exam was puzzling, considering he was an orphan and had therefore voluntarily decided to become a ninja.

Then halfway through the morning, a Chuunin in a leaf-green flak vest burst through the classroom door. "Iruka-sensei! Look outside to the Hokage Monument!" he cried.

Everyone rushed to the windows to look. Rude words, snot, tears, and girly eyelashes had been painted all over the faces of the four Hokage on the vast outdoor sandstone wall in the center of the village. It wasn't a terribly difficult feat if you were a ninja, as the Monument wasn't heavily guarded, but it _was_ the prank of a lifetime - Naruto's last testament to his time at the Academy.

An excited murmur immediately went up among the students. "Naruto!" Iruka cried out in anger, as he was wont to do, and he stormed out of the classroom to go retrieve his wayward student. They heard a distant cackle of laughter as other Chuunin began chasing a gleeful Naruto in his garish orange clothing across the rooftops of Konoha.

Team Kunoichi exchanged curious looks and then channeled chakra into their ears so they could hear what he was saying.

"Naruto!" the Chuunin were crying. "You won't get away with these things anymore!"

"Shut up!" Naruto shouted. "Look at that! _Look at that!_ None of you have the guts to do that, do you? But I can! I'm amazing!"

"He's blustering," said Hinata quietly, remembering Anko's teaching that thinking little of yourself and trying to hide it was just as bad as thinking too much of yourself and showing it. She'd always just assumed previously that Naruto was really sunny, confident, and determined - now she saw things so much differently.

"It's like Anko-sensei said. He does it to seek attention," said Sakura. "I guess I can't blame him. He doesn't seem to have any family or friends, and he doesn't seem to get very good grades. It must be tough."

"Still," said Ino, "defacing the Hokage? They were each elected by popular vote, they were each on the level of a Daimyo Lord which is why we call them -sama, they were each one of the five most powerful ninja in all the Elemental Nations, each led the village successfully through wars, and each previous Hokage has died defending their village in the line of duty. It's like defacing a veterans' war memorial, or a list of presidential leaders. They command at least a token show of respect."

"The Fourth Hokage was killed the day Naruto was born," reminded Sakura, "defeating the nine tailed fox demon. If he hadn't died for us that day, Naruto might have died on the day of his birth."

Eventually, they all trickled back to their seats and Iruka walked back in, Naruto tied and bound and hauled over his shoulder. Naruto struggled and wriggled, but he didn't seem able to break free. Which was confusing, as the Academy _did_ teach the technique to untie yourself from binds.

Iruka plunked Naruto down below him, still tied, and started lecturing him in front of the entire class, thereby reasserting his own power to himself. Which might not have been the best way to get Naruto to stop breaking his rules, when you thought about it. Which all three girls did.

"Naruto! You failed the last chance at the final Genin Exam! And the chance before that! What are you doing pulling stupid jokes on our last day of review session?!" Iruka shouted.

Naruto looked away stubbornly. This just seemed to make Iruka angier. He whirled around to the class.

"We're doing a review of the Transformation technique! Everybody line up now! Including those who have already passed!" Iruka seemed to find making everyone hate Naruto to be the best antidote, and it worked as everyone gave shouts of complaints, their chairs squeaking back as they stood reluctantly.

"It's just one simple Transformation technique," Ino muttered as she and her two friends went to go to stand in line to demonstrate the technique before Iruka and everyone else. "Geez. What a bunch of whiners."

They ended up standing in line right in front of Sasuke. It was the first time Sakura and Ino had been close to him since four years ago.

"Hello, Sasuke," said Sakura tentatively. "How are you?"

"Stay out of my way," Sasuke said, flat and contemptuous.

"Is that your response to everyone who says hi to you?" Ino replied, deadpan.

"I don't hang around with other people. They're weaker than me and they weigh me down from my true purposes. That especially applies to fangirls."

"Why do you assume we're still fangirls?" Sakura asked, annoyed. "I don't even like you. Forget wanting to date you."

Sasuke's eyes widened briefly in surprise. Then he scoffed and looked away. "Well," he said, "at least it seems that Jounin has taught you some sense."

"That's not all she taught us," said Hinata coldly, and they ignored Sasuke as the line got shorter and shorter and their time to perform the technique came up.

All three girls transformed into Iruka perfectly, and Iruka seemed pleased. "It seems Anko has taught you well," he said, marking As on his clipboard.

Team Kunoichi smiled uneasily. That was far from the hardest thing Anko had taught them. They moved aside silently to let other people take their turn, listening idly as Shikamaru complained to Naruto for forcing everybody to do a Transformation technique.

A silent Sasuke did the technique without ever making a sound or moving a facial muscle, which seemed to make the squealing fangirls think he was "cool", and then Naruto's turn came up. He transformed into a naked woman who made a pass at the teacher, and then proceeded to laugh hysterically.

Hinata stared. Because she had a good sense of humor, and that wasn't funny. It _was_ , however, disrespectful to women.

Naruto caught Hinata's staring and turned into a naked version of Hinata. He grinned. "You like what you see?" he said in Hinata's voice.

Hinata's first instinct was to cut Naruto down with a sword, but she closed her eyes and suppressed this urge. Instead, she opened her eyes, the Byakugan flashed into them as the veins bulged with power, and she purposefully fixed her killing intent so it would choke everybody else in the room - including Sasuke. Sakura and Ino added their killing intent and a couple of students fell over. Naruto had turned back into himself, and he looked terrified.

"What about you, Naruto?" Hinata asked calmly. "Do you like what _you_ see?"

Sakura and Ino stepped up, their faces twisting. "Never do that to our friend again," said Sakura fiercely.

"Sakura - Ino - Hinata - _control your killing intent!"_ Iruka forced out; he, too, was having trouble breathing, though not as much as his students.

Team Kunoichi's expressions closed. They stepped back, suppressed their chakra, and everyone could breathe again.

"Geez," said Iruka hoarsely, rubbing his throat, "you _are_ Anko's students."

Naruto was lying on the ground, staring up at Team Kunoichi as if noticing them truly for the first time. "Wow," he said. "I think I'm in love."

Sasuke was also eyeing them with renewed attention. Not only were they no longer fangirls, that Jounin had trained them well; they were _strong_ where he'd always assumed women were weak.

Interesting.

As Team Kunoichi left the classroom that day with instructions to meet in Iruka's classroom at a certain time tomorrow for their Genin Exam, Ino said darkly, _"God_ I'm glad I don't have a crush on those idiots anymore."

"Truer words were never spoken," said Sakura and Hinata flatly.

* * *

They weren't sure how to prepare for the Genin Exam, so they went through all the main physical arts they could think of together at a training field after school, sparring with one another. Then they went home that night and spent the evening after dinner thumbing through pages in their old academic textbooks.

They met at the Academy the next morning, and Ino said, "You ready?" Sakura and Hinata nodded determinedly.

They went inside the classroom together. Anko had given them the last chance on purpose, they knew - she was counting on them to win this in one shot. They were determined not to let her down.

They took seats in the classroom, and when Iruka walked in a hush fell over the crowd. "The final exam will now commence," said Iruka. "When your name is called, come into the room next door. The only people within will be the proctor, Touji Mizuki, and I. The subject for this test is the Clone Technique. Please demonstrate at least three useful clones for us in order to pass."

Ino raised her hand. "Iruka-sensei? We're all dying to know, I think… Can you tell us what the rest of the Exam will consist of?" She would have just read his mind, but was afraid someone would find out and disqualify her.

"There's _more_?!" Naruto was heard to cry in horror, and Hinata rolled her eyes.

Iruka frowned in consternation, a little furrow forming between his brows. "That's it," he said. "That's the Exam. The Clone Technique."

Team Kunoichi gaped as Iruka went into the other room.

Their first reaction was one of excited ecstasy as they looked around at each other - that faded as realization hit them. Ino used her telepathy to make a three-way mind communication between herself and her two teammates.

 _I don't want us to alert anybody else,_ thought Ino, _but -_

 _I know,_ Sakura thought seriously, _ninja are supposed to look underneath the underneath. That can't be all there is._

 _There must be a hidden test underneath this test,_ thought Hinata. _We must discern what that is._

 _Either that,_ thought Ino, _or we have a second, covert test after this test is over. We must be on our guard and be true ninja. Anko-sensei wouldn't have done all that preparation for a test on a couple of illusory clones._

So they were still serious as they sat and waited for their name to be called, looking around every so often for some sign of attack or genjutsu.

But when their names were called, they were still unhampered. They each went into the other room in turn. It was a small anteroom, a long table cutting it in half behind which Iruka and a man with long pale hair named Mizuki sat. On the table were shiny piles of new Konoha hitai-ate. There was no genjutsu anywhere within.

"Please make at least three clones," said Iruka. Each girl used fine chakra control to make a whole crowd of clones, and Iruka and Mizuki were impressed. "Very well," said Iruka each time. "Come up and receive your hitai-ate."

The girls had already decided to tie the ninja marker bands around their upper arms, where they wouldn't interfere with their overall appearance nor would they interfere with their reflexes and ninja techniques. They each got a little thrill of excitement as they tied the band into place, even though they still guessed intuitively that it was far from over.

* * *

The only one who didn't pass was Naruto. Everyone else was crowded around congratulating each other on one side of the Academy courtyard. Naruto was seated on the swings on the other side, alone and dejected.

"You know," said Ino, hand on her hip, "he's an ass, but -"

"You're right," said Hinata, nodding solemnly. "I feel sorry for him."

Sakura's expression was veiled, but her eyes were similarly sympathetic.

All of a sudden, they perked up as they heard Naruto's name mentioned by two mothers standing on the edge of the crowd, watching him on the swings.

"There he is. That's _the_ kid. He's the only one who didn't pass."

"Hmph. Serves him right."

"Yeah, if he became a ninja, it would only be a bother. Because he's really a -"

"Quiet! You know it's forbidden to say anymore than that."

Ino, Sakura, and Hinata exchanged curious looks. Maybe it was because they'd been so young and inexperienced the last time they'd seen Naruto, but they didn't remember ever hearing things like that about him before. What did people assume Naruto was… that he wasn't? And why didn't those two mothers like him? And what was - _forbidden_ to talk about that involved some scrawny, rebellious teenager?

"Hinata. You passed."

They turned around to find their families standing there. Hinata's father was standing before her, stiff and dignified, clan retainers behind him.

Hinata bowed her head. "Yes, Father," she said smoothly. "It was not difficult."

Hiashi smirked. "As expected," he said, "from the heir to the Hyuuga clan and my daughter."

Her head still bowed, Hinata smiled.

Ino ran at her parents and jumped into their arms. Her father lifted her up, laughing. "Congratulations!" her mother said, unusually warmly.

"Victory is mine!" Ino cried to the skies.

"Wow," Sakura's mother whispered, somewhere between fear and awe, staring at the armband. "So… you've really done it, huh? Well, of course you did. You trained hard."

Sakura smiled. "Yeah, Mom," she said. "I passed."

"Well…" Sakura's mother smiled, overwhelmed. "You want to go out to dinner?"

* * *

That night, Sakura had already taken her bath and was relaxing in bed, curled up with a book and a cup of tea, when her phone rang. Ino and Hinata were both calling her. Hurriedly, she picked up and said breathlessly, "Yes? Is it the real test?"

"I don't know. I don't think so," said Ino, confused. "It's something weirder. Hinata, did the same thing happen to you?"

"Yes," said Hinata. "My father was summoned away during dinner by a ninja. He said Naruto has stolen a scroll of forbidden jutsu from the Hokage's office and is on the run with it!"

"That's what the ninja who summoned my parents while we were watching TV said," said Ino. "All ninja are supposed to go out and search the village, looking for him. But - and here's the weird part - only ninja who are older than teenagers are allowed to do the search. That includes the ninja who are teenagers but rose through the ranks absurdly quickly and are no longer rookie Genin. There's an age limit."

"Yes," said Hinata. "I asked to go and my father strictly forbade it."

"So did my parents," said Ino. "Even though we're supposed to be ninja now."

"Why would Naruto do such a thing?" Hinata asked.

"I… honestly don't know," Sakura admitted, her mind spinning.

"You don't think this is the test?" said Ino. "That we're supposed to go look for our classmate anyway?"

"But rule number one is always to obey your superiors - like higher ranking ninja such as your parents," said Sakura seriously. "Why would they try to gainsay that?"

"Exactly," said Hinata. "I don't think this is the test."

* * *

Later, Ino and Hinata called again.

"The scroll has been found and returned," said Hinata. "My father has come back. No more information was given to me. I asked about Naruto and my father told me to mind my place. He hasn't been that fierce with me in a long time."

"Same here," said Ino. "My parents won't talk about Naruto at all. They're short and to the point; they're like stone."

"What the hell did Naruto try to pull?" Sakura asked, completely bewildered. "What is going on with him? And where is he now?"

"And," Ino added, "how the hell did we become ninja so easily?"

They had no answers.


	29. Chapter 29

_Author's Notes_ : I covered here in a little more detail the reason why Ino's not reading Iruka's mind. Basically, he's an experienced ninja and they're not enemies or in a fight, so she's afraid she'll get caught and disqualified from something important.

* * *

29.

Their next step as ninja was to fill out registration forms with all their information on it - name, height, weight, date of birth, that sort of thing. The form also included Academy grades, which, of course, Hinata's, Sakura's, and Ino's did not. It showed that they had graduated, but their Academy level ability information was usefully and completely blank. Their number of missions, their team members and leaders, and their regular team leader's reports would be added to the forms as they became more and more experienced ninja; this kind of information would be available to anyone, including people from other Hidden Villages. But the forms also included unexpected questions about, for example, their hobbies, their favorite foods, and their favorite sayings.

Then they each had an appointment to take a photograph in front of the backdrop of the (cleaned) Hokage Monument with a professional photographer. This picture would be added to their paperwork and would show their best ninja face, both to foreigners and to their village at large. So of course wearing one's hitai-ate in pride of place was vital. Ino smiled and made a V for Victory sign, her pose playful. Sakura smirked, her pose coy and shy. Hinata's pose was steady and even, facing front and center, a small smile on her face but her eyes serious.

Then they each had to meet with the Hokage in his office. They sat down in front of him, across his vast gold gilded mahogany desk, surrounded by his hand-made calligraphy scrolls, and he did a brief overview of their paperwork. Then he stamped it and told each of them: "Meet in Umino Iruka's Academy classroom at 8 AM tomorrow morning for your first ninja assignment."

"That's probably when our real test will be," Ino was saying, when all three members of Team Kunoichi had met outside at an umbrella table for coffee later that day. "Tomorrow in Iruka's classroom. They must hit us when we're not expecting it."

"Either that or we'll be assigned to teams and Anko-sensei will administer our final test," said Sakura.

"I would like that better," Hinata admitted.

"I wonder what all the questions on the form were for?" said Sakura. "I mean, what does my favorite food have to do with my ninja abilities?"

"I wondered that myself," said Hinata. "At first I thought, perhaps it's in case someone comes into the village trying to impersonate us. But if foreign ninja can see the same information…"

"They were trying to establish a psychological profile," said Ino knowingly. "Trust me. My Dad _writes_ those damn forms."

* * *

They got a good night's sleep and the next morning, they were up early and eating breakfast.

"I don't see why you're so eager," said Sakura's mother, hands on her hips. "It's not like they'll have you doing anything on your first day of assignments."

"Best to be prepared. See you later, Mom!" Sakura said quickly, grabbing her weapons pouch and hurrying out the front door.

Hinata stood from the Hyuuga clan dining table quickly but gracefully. "Father, I must depart." She bowed slightly.

He nodded in assent. "Do well, Hinata."

"I'm going!" Ino called, heading through the flower shop and down the front steps.

"Good luck, honey!" they called after her.

And so the three members of Team Kunoichi fell into step beside each other on their way to the Academy. They sobered quickly around each other. "You guys ready?" Ino asked.

"Yeah." Sakura and Hinata nodded. They were ready for their real test.

They made it to the classroom unhampered and found it to be unassuming enough. Hinata, Sakura, and Ino all scanned and reported to each other. No genjutsu anywhere, the teacher hadn't even arrived yet, just a bunch of graduated students sitting around in seats. A low buzz of chatter filled the classroom.

But Hinata stopped and pointed something out to the other two. Naruto was sitting there, wearing a hitai-ate.

Exchanging looks, they walked up to him. "Hey, Naruto."

He blushed and grinned, looking pretty pleased with himself. Three hot girls wanted to talk to him. "Hey, guys."

"I thought you hadn't graduated?" said Ino bluntly.

"Can you not see this hitai-ate?" Naruto asked intently, pointing to it.

"I see it, I see it," said Sakura. "It's just… The only way I can see you graduating is if you took a makeup test…"

"Yeah, that's what I did!" said Naruto quickly.

"But Naruto," said Hinata meaningfully, "I thought you were a little too _busy_ the night after the graduation test?"

Naruto grinned, his face revealing nothing. "What do you mean? Look, just wait for Iruka-sensei to get here. He'll tell you!"

"... Alright," said Sakura at last uncertainly. "I'll be waiting to make sure he's okay with you being here. No Transformation Techniques or illusions, Naruto. No tricks. They won't work on us."

"Sure, sure, no tricks!" said Naruto earnestly. "So - how should I say - this look pretty good on me, eh?" He swelled, looking pleased with himself. He was pointing at the hitai-ate.

They rolled their eyes. _There_ was the Naruto they knew. "Yeah, it looks great, Naruto." And they walked away.

"Hey! Where are you guys going?!" Naruto called after them.

Ino looked back behind herself and grinned. "Your table's full! And it's not strategically located!"

Naruto looked around in confusion - only to find Sasuke sitting beside him. It was right at this point that all the fangirls in the room descended on Naruto's spot, shoved him out of his chair, and began shrieking and cat-fighting over who got the spot next to Uchiha Sasuke.

Sakura, Ino, and Hinata heard the sounds of screams and slaps.

"I got here first!"

"No, I did!"

"I want to sit next to him!"

"I get the seat next to Sasuke-kun!"

Their ears keen, they heard Sasuke scoff contemptuously. "How annoying," was all he muttered.

Team Kunoichi sighed, watching. "Is it condescending to feel pity for them?" Ino asked her teammates philosophically.

"Yes," said Hinata calmly. "But I feel it too."

"All that potential wasted," Sakura muttered.

Then Naruto took the seat below their table and flirted (badly) with them until Iruka appeared and made everybody settle down. Hinata checked with Byakugan and let the other two know in confusion through Ino's mind link - it really was Iruka, and he really seemed to be okay with Naruto being there.

 _Do you want me to read his mind?_ Ino asked.

 _Don't,_ said Sakura immediately. _It's like with the Genin test - we don't know if it's allowed._ _It could be classified information, and he could know Yamanaka mind tricks. You could be arrested. Save mind reading for out in the field._

"I'm about to read out the assignments!" Iruka called, and that at last got everyone to shut the hell up. Iruka cleared his throat and began. "Starting today, you are all official ninja, but you are all still rookie Genin. It is going to get harder from here.

"You will be put into groups of three. Within those teams, you will accomplish missions under a Jounin-ranking instructor. I will now read off the team assignments."

 _It's official. Anko-sensei's going to test us,_ Ino decided through the mind link. _Thank God. Get me out of here!_

"A group of three?" Sasuke could be heard to mutter. "That's only going to burden me."

Naruto was trying slyly to meet their eye - that was, when he wasn't busy eyeing up their boobs.

"Team Seven: Uzumaki Naruto, Uchiha Sasuke, Inuzuka Kiba."

Naruto looked highly indignant. Not only was he not with any hot girls, it was widely known that he hated Kiba - a braggart from a clan of wolf masters - almost as much as he hated Sasuke. Sasuke looked similarly unenthused. Braggart or not, Team Kunoichi decided through their mind link that they felt sorry for Kiba. Inuzuka were known for their loyalty, but Kiba's teammates did not appear to reciprocate.

"Team Nine: Hyuuga Hinata, Haruno Sakura, Yamanaka Ino."

Ino held up each hand for a high five and got a clap on either side. The girls smirked in satisfaction.

"Team Ten: Nara Shikamaru, Akimichi Chouji, Aburame Shino."

Shikamaru and Chouji's teammate was a quiet, bespectacled guy in a long trench-coat who liked insects. Team Ten sounded far more laidback than Team Seven. Shikamaru and Chouji seemed pleased they were on the same team, and Ino was happy for them.

"That's it for the teams," said Iruka at the end, looking up.

Naruto stood immediately. "Iruka-sensei! Why is an excellent student like me on a team with some losers like them?" He was pointing at Kiba and Sasuke.

"Like I'd want to team up with someone who has the lowest scores in the class!" Kiba shot back, the wolf beside him barking.

"Iruka-sensei, why can't I be on a team with the hot, powerful girls over there?" Naruto whined, pointing at Team Kunoichi.

"I actually have a similar question," said Sasuke icily. "Why was I not at least put with someone stronger, who would offer me a challenge? Was I deficient in some way? I would, also, have been interested in a place with Team Kunoichi."

Iruka sighed. " _Every_ four years one team protests," he was heard to mutter. "Sasuke, Kiba, you did nothing wrong. You got some of the highest scores in the class. Naruto, you got some of the lowest scores in the class."

"What does that have to do with anything -?!"

"He means, Naruto, that you slacked off and someone may have to be there to bail your ass out so you don't die on a mission!" Ino snapped. There was a short silence.

"It's all about balance, Naruto," said Hinata evenly.

"And we were already put on a team together years ago. Sorry, but we have a previous engagement with someone else," said Sakura flatly. "We're perfectly willing to take anyone's money if they want to pay to -

"- Bask in our presence, though," Ino finished sarcastically.

Sasuke was watching them with narrowed eyes. "You're going back to that Jounin. This was just a hurdle for you," he realized.

"Precisely, Uchiha-san," said Hinata calmly. "So, if your pride will allow it, you're going to have to ask to train with us like everybody else."

Sasuke looked frustrated. _He's remembering always being passed up in favor of his older brother,_ Ino supplied. _He thinks he was good, but not quite enough to be on a team with the best, so he's stuck pulling extra weight for the Dead Last instead. Kiba seems to have mysteriously disappeared from his mind._

 _Ino!_ Hinata and Sakura scolded.

 _What? He's just some rookie Genin. He's not Iruka. No one's going to know. It was so easy I almost didn't have to try. Looks like Sasuke is out with something to prove._

"Take a lunch break and meet back here at one o'clock to meet with your instructors," said Iruka uneasily in the tense silence. "Meeting adjourned until then."

* * *

Team Kunoichi had lunch together perched on a bench outside campus. "I wonder what sort of tests Anko-sensei's going to give us?" Sakura wondered idly as they ate. "Will it be today, do you think, or sometime tomorrow?"

"Nah, probably tomorrow," said Ino. "We'll have more time."

"Either way, we can handle it," said Hinata, frowning. "I'm practically itching from lack of training."

"Yeah, me too," said Ino.

"And me," Sakura admitted.

All of a sudden, Sasuke appeared out from behind a tree, smiling at them. Or, at least, it _looked_ like Sasuke.

"Naruto, we all know it's you," they echoed flatly as one, and Naruto froze, the Transformation releasing as he turned back into himself.

"How did you know?!" he demanded.

"I felt the illusion," said Sakura.

"I used my eyes," said Hinata.

"And I read your mind," said Ino.

"You can see and feel illusions and read minds?!" Naruto said, horrified.

"Naruto, why were you turning into Sasuke to talk to us, anyway?" said Hinata, mystified.

"I - well, I kind of wanted to know if I had a chance with any of you," said Naruto, blushing and looking away. "Before we, you know, can't see each other anymore."

They all looked at each other.

"Naruto," said Hinata, "I might have considered you if you'd actually paid attention to me when I wasn't all sexy and powerful, and if you hadn't turned into a naked version of me for class-time amusement."

"Yeah, you're going to need to grow up a little before any of us seriously considers you romantically," Ino put in.

"I want someone who will treat me well," said Sakura, "and I don't know if I trust you to do that right now. It's nothing personal, I just don't. Speaking of guys I don't trust," she added in a mutter. Sasuke was storming up to their spot.

"What were you doing tying me up and transforming into me?" he demanded to Naruto, coldly infuriated.

"Wow, you got the drop on him, Naruto?" said Ino in impressed surprise. " _Nice_."

Hinata and Sakura sighed. " _Ino_."

"I'm just sayin'."

"They saw right through me, it didn't even work!" said Naruto immediately pointing at the three girls.

Sasuke turned to look at them, and his eyes narrowed. "Fight me," he demanded. "Right now."

"Uh, what do you think we are, robots that fight on command?" said Ino. "We're not the automated voice on your cell phone, Sasuke."

"You don't think I'm powerful enough for you?"

"Why do you even _want_ to fight us right now?" Sakura asked, mystified.

"To test myself," said Sasuke, tensing. "To see how powerful I am."

"Uchiha-san," said Hinata calmly. "We have no reason to fight and reveal all our abilities to you. We may train with you in certain elements if you would like."

"He's too impatient," said Sakura perceptively, when Sasuke looked frustrated and didn't respond. "He's doing what Anko-sensei told us never to do - he's craving perfection."

"What's wrong with craving perfection?" said Sasuke, pausing, looking genuinely confused. "Isn't that how one improves?"

"No, one improves by trying their best," said Hinata. "That's not the same thing."

"What the hell's going on here? Where have you guys been?" Kiba had entered the scene, looking mystified.

"Keep a tighter leash on your teammates, Inuzuka," said Ino, casually annoyed.

"What do you think I've been trying to do?" said Kiba, equally irritated. "I swear, if it weren't for my amplified nose, I'd never even have found them."

"SHIT!" Naruto suddenly clutched his stomach and ran off.

"Naruto?!" More than one member of Team Kunoichi stood and stared after him.

"I HAVE DIARRHEA!" he yelled back over his shoulder.

Ino sighed. "What is my life?"

"Come on." Sakura stood seriously, and Hinata nodded and stood too. "It's time to head back to the classroom."

Team Seven stared after Team Nine in frustration, but Team Nine was relieved. Their time at the Academy was at last at an end. They were back where they belonged, with Anko-sensei as ninja.


	30. Chapter 30

_Author's Note:_ FF is glitching right now. This means that while I do receive emails showing me your reviews, I cannot reply to the reviews nor do they show up in my account or in the story. Please keep sending reviews! I can read them using the email option, I can still approve or delete guest reviews, and the reviews will appear in the story once this issue is resolved. It's not just me, it's almost all of FF, so the issue should be resolved soon.

So keep sending reviews! They just might not show or get replies immediately.

* * *

30.

"So," said Anko, sitting with her team at a coffee shop, "you survived your five days at the Academy." She'd just finished picking them up from Iruka's classroom. She was prompt, calm, and matter of fact, and led them immediately away. They'd followed her with the kind of obedience that came from respect.

"Barely," Ino muttered.

"It felt a lot longer than five days," Sakura agreed darkly.

"Why?" said Anko, not revealing her thoughts. Looking through the Hokage's scrying crystal, the other Jounin had been quite impressed with her Genin, but there was no need to tell them that and inflate their egos.

"I… I don't want to sound arrogant, but Sensei, they were all just so… _immature_ ," said Hinata.

Anko nodded. "You all had more personalized attention and were taught important things, such as Zen, wabi, team cooperation, and constant hard work, that these other students were not. It's natural that there would have been a bit of a clash."

"Sensei, what's our real Genin test going to be?" Ino asked bluntly.

Anko resisted the urge to smile. "Well, I will be administering a final test -" she said.

"CALLED IT!" the girls cried as one, pumping their fists.

"But first," and here Anko looked amused, "it is required that we introduce ourselves." The girls laughed. "So here's my plan," said Anko mischievously, "you're going to introduce… _each other_."

Delight came over the girls' faces - and then it was complete chaos.

"SAKURA'S A NERDY BOOKWORM WHO CAN MAKE FRIENDS KILL EACH OTHER!"

"Thanks, Ino. And while I'm at it, Ino's a complete airheaded spazz who can also make friends kill each other, just in a different and far less superior way."

"OH IT IS ON LIKE DONKEY KONG!"

"My two teammates like to pretend to kill each other," said Hinata, smiling sweetly.

"And Hinata can kill you by looking and smiling at you!"

"What about me?" said Anko, mock insulted.

"Oh yeah - and OUR SENSEI'S CRAZY!" they all finished as one.

"Thank you, thank you. That ends our introductions section," said Anko in clear satisfaction. "Now, let's get to the important shit - the test."

The girls straightened, becoming more serious.

"I am not allowed to give you many details beforehand, other than to meet at our usual training field at 8 AM tomorrow morning, bringing all your weapons as if going to a battle on a mission," said Anko. "So it will be a fight-based practical. It will also be a mock team mission. Your opponent will be me. Sort of like during team management exercises, except on a much tougher and higher-risk scale. I will be going all out on you, and you on me.

"I can also tell you this: there is a reason why I called this test higher-risk. Out of the twenty-seven graduates, only nine will actually become Genin. The rest will be sent either back to the Academy or into the reserves. Several will probably drop out completely. In other words, this test has a fail rate of 66 percent."

"If we're fighting a Jounin full-on? I'm not surprised," muttered Ino, even as the girls straightened and looked more determined. Still, Anko's face revealed nothing.

"Who is going to decide whether or not we pass, Sensei? You?" Sakura asked. "How does that work if we have to kill you?"

"You don't have to kill me, though you should come at me with killing intent. You will have a mission objective, and though it is not to assassinate me, I will be keeping you from your mission objective," said Anko. "So I'm the one you have to impress. I'm the one who will pass you if you succeed at the mission and manage to get past me. You don't have to kill me. You just have to achieve the mission despite me.

"I have also been ordered to tell you not to eat before the test."

"What?! But that goes against everything you've taught us!" said Ino incredulously, as the girls' eyes widened in surprise.

"Let me repeat that, Ino," said Anko, expressionless. "I have been ordered to tell you not to eat before the test."

Ino opened a mind link as the girls sobered. _She means we can't trust her anymore,_ said Sakura. _She's already our enemy_.

 _Right. She's been ordered to weaken us and try to hold us back,_ said Ino.

 _So we should definitely eat a good hour before the test. Therefore we'll have time to digest, and we won't get sick to our stomachs while fighting,_ said Hinata.

"Do you understand?" said Anko carefully.

"Yes, Sensei." They bowed their heads.

"Very good," said Anko, standing. "Meet me at our usual training field with all your ninja equipment at 8 AM tomorrow morning."

* * *

All three girls got up very early to eat breakfast, let themselves digest, and then headed off to the training field. Anko was already there when they arrived.

"You're on time," she said. "Good." She put an alarm clock down and set the timer. "This timer is set for noon. That means you have four hours to complete your mission objective."

"Sensei, what is the mission objective?" said Sakura.

Anko held up two silver bells. "To take these bells from me." She tied them to her belt loop. "If you get a bell, that means you pass."

"There are only two bells," Hinata pointed out, frowning.

"That's right. At least one of you will have to be sent back to the Academy," said Anko. "Also, whoever doesn't get a bell will have no lunch. They will be tied up and everyone else will eat the lunches I've packed in front of that person. Or people. You never know. _None_ of you might get a bell. In that case, all three will be sent back to the Academy with no lunch."

So that was why they'd been told not to eat.

Hinata, Sakura, and Ino were incredulous. "We have to fight each other?!" Ino shouted. "After all this time spent supporting each other?!"

"I don't make the rules," said Anko quietly. "Be ready when I say go. Ready - set - GO!"

They all leaped into the surrounding underbrush to hide in different places. And figure out what to do.

* * *

Perched on a tree branch hidden by leaves, watching Anko in the clearing, Ino tentatively opened a mind link. _So what do you guys think?_

 _I think that they've given us great incentive to win. Being sent back to that damn Academy is my worst nightmare,_ said Sakura, deadpan, from where she was crouched underneath a bush watching Anko.

Hinata, who was watching Anko from behind a tree trunk, answered immediately. _I think that it makes no sense for Anko-sensei to emphasize teamwork, cooperation, and team management all that time, and not prepare us for eventually having to fight each other. There must be more to this test than meets the eye._

 _Sensei said something about a mission objective,_ said Sakura suddenly. _That it was a team based test with the mission objective as the bells. Our job as ninja is to get the bells._

 _That makes more sense!_ said Ino excitedly.

 _Yes, exactly,_ said Hinata thoughtfully. _Our teamwork is being tested to see if we can put the mission objective before our own well-being. I bet if we all work together, she'll pass us all anyway._

 _Yeah. Remember, we can't trust her,_ said Sakura, increasingly enthused. _She's trying to fail us; she's our enemy! She also told us not to eat!_

 _Plus, think of it this way,_ said Ino. _If we all play a part in getting at least one bell, it would be stupid and arbitrary to send one of us back to the Academy. We all turned out to be useful against a Jounin._

 _But we have to come at her with killing intent. She even said so,_ reminded Sakura.

 _Great,_ said Ino. _We're used to that. So what's our plan?_

* * *

They had all hid themselves sufficiently in separate places, Anko thought, even suppressing their chakra. There was a long pause as none of them moved toward each other. That could mean several things. It could mean they were each trying to figure out individually what to do. But with Ino's mind powers, it could also mean they were all thinking and planning together. There was just no way of knowing.

She was just about to move toward one of them when something finally happened.

She realized the bark on the trees had suddenly changed the direction of its grains - she sensed around herself - shit, she was in one of Sakura's genjutsu! She released, felt herself fall into another layer, released, felt herself fall into another layer - and then she felt painful pricks on her legs and a flat voice echoed from behind her: "You are within my range of divination."

Hinata had gotten directly behind her while Sakura had put forward the illusion of an empty, flat space of green grass and trees. Anko felt her legs go numb and useless; cursing, she fell over, but punched Hinata away with a chakra powered taijutsu move on the way down. Getting the Jyuuken user away from her was step one.

She wasn't out yet.

Sakura and Ino stepped out from behind the trees, Sakura's hands just coming out from their hand seal. All three girls' combined killing intent hit Anko; she flexed her own in response.

Now it was Ino's turn - Ino tried sending body control jutsu this way and that, but they had to be in a straight line and Anko kept dodging, moving her upper body all over the place, so Ino couldn't get a clear read.

She took out a scroll and swiped blood across it. "Summoning Technique!" Several smaller snakes lunged out to attack Sakura and Ino - and Hinata leaped in front of them, determined.

"Kaiten!" she shouted, twirling gracefully and making a dome of chakra appear around her. The snakes hit the swirling dome face-first and were tossed off to the side. The Kaiten disappeared, only to reveal a kunai wrapped around with an explosive tag already being thrown by Ino.

There was an explosion of blood and guts as the snakes died. Anko winced. Manda would be angry with her later. That was why she hadn't used bigger snakes.

Ino shot a paralysis technique at her and she shot out the counter-technique. "My own techniques won't work on me!" she called.

But there was only so much she could do without her legs. She could throw long distance weapons, but only from a singular position. She could replace herself somewhere else and transform herself so she looked different, but without working legs and with their chakra sensing capabilities they'd still find her and then she wouldn't have the advantage of having space to move around in and a river right nearby.

She went through the hand seals and shot a water technique at them from the nearby river - Hinata's Kaiten once more took care of the problem, water flying everywhere.

Then Anko suddenly felt her body freeze up and she gasped as she recognized the Yamanaka body control. "What?!"

A genjutsu of Sakura's, unnoticed during the fight, fell. Only to reveal Ino right in front of her, smirking, hands in a seal. She twitched a hand and Anko's arm raised in the gesture for surrender.

Then Sakura and Hinata went forward and took the bells. Hinata touched the points again and depressed the numbness to Anko's legs - not that it would matter under Ino's body control - and then Sakura put green healing chakra over Anko's legs and healed them.

That covered all three major areas: taijutsu, ninjutsu, and genjutsu.

Then Ino released Anko and all three jumped back, clutching the bells, wary.

"Well," said Anko calmly, standing, "have you decided which of you will go back to the Academy?"

"Yeah! None of us!" Ino cried defiantly.

"We all played a part and it would be stupid to send one of us back," said Hinata, arms crossed.

"We also think you were lying to us, Sensei," said Sakura. "The real point of the test was to test our teamwork capabilities, was it not?"

And at last, Anko smiled.

"You all pass," she said. "Yes, the point of the test was teamwork. Quite correct. We wanted to see if you could put the mission before yourselves, and see underneath the underneath, and you all did.

"Out in the field, individual abilities are important, but being able to put those abilities together into a cohesive unit is infinitely more important. Selfishness can't get in the way. Only through teamwork can missions succeed out in the field. So as Genin, your first test is to see not who's strongest, but which teams can put their strength together the best. Even if that means individually you suffer.

"This test tried to put you three against each other, but you didn't let it. Well done.

"By the way," she added curiously, "you were all at your full power. You all ate breakfast, didn't you?"

The girls grinned. "Only an idiot doesn't eat before a big fight."

They had come far. "Congratulations," said Anko warmly, "you are officially Genin unit 9."

The girls leaped into the air, cheering.


	31. Chapter 31

31.

They found out later that Kakashi and Asuma had taken the two other teams. Kakashi took Team 7, featuring Naruto, Sasuke, and Kiba. Asuma took Team 10, consisting of Shikamaru, Chouji, and Shino.

Anko teased Kakashi mercilessly - in front of her Genin. "You have a team, you have a team!" she cackled in a sing-song voice, dancing around him.

Kakashi sweatdropped. "Well, you don't have to act like a five-year-old about it," he muttered. "I was super hard on them and they still passed the bell test! What else was I supposed to do?!"

"Define passing," said Sakura, morbidly curious. "Did they do well?"

"Well, not at first," Kakashi admitted. "Sasuke assumed the other two would only hold him down, Naruto just did everything by himself, and Kiba tried to get them all to work together but it failed miserably. Naruto ended up hanging from a tree, Sasuke ended up with his body stuck in the ground using an earth ninjutsu, Kiba ended up trying to get Sasuke and Naruto out of their respective predicaments, and then Naruto tried to eat the lunches early which meant he was the one that got tied to the stump."

The girls were staring. "And they passed… how?" Ino asked, mystified.

"Well, I explained to them the point of teamwork, then gave Kiba and Sasuke lunches and told them not to give Naruto any lunch. I pretended to leave, and they gave him lunch anyway because they finally understood the point of everyone working together, so I passed them."

"I feel sorry for Kiba," Hinata muttered.

"So you're going to train them, right?" Anko asked.

"I want to see how self-sufficient they are first," Kakashi admitted. "If they ask me to train them, I'll train them. Another thing I'm going to do is pretend to be late to every meeting, then hide and see if they spar together to pass the time. So far I'm not impressed. They're all too busy standing around looking cool and complaining about how late I am - even Kiba."

"So," said Anko mischievously, looking sideways at her Genin, "how about a little inter team -"

"NO!" said Team 9 immediately, and Anko and Kakashi both laughed.

* * *

"Now that you're Genin, it's time to teach you my own arts," said Anko, standing in front of them one day. "I've said any good master teaches his pupils in the field his ways. So. You're still going to train further in your individual abilities. Which are?"

"I will be learning further, more advanced forms of Jyuuken taijutsu attacks with my father," said Hinata seriously.

"My father's teaching me psychic attacks," said Ino casually, waving a hand.

"And I'm becoming more advanced in the arts of genjutsu and that of a medic nin," said Sakura, determined.

"Excellent," said Anko. "But you'll also collectively be learning my own abilities.

"First, I will teach you more advanced forms of standard taijutsu that you did not learn as Academy students.

"Second, I will be teaching you your ninjutsu elemental affinities.

"Third, I will be teaching you snake summoning.

"Fourth, I will be teaching you sealing. You will study different types of seals and learn how to write increasingly complex seals, but you will also learn how to slap a seal onto someone else or yourself just by touching them. Additionally, I will be teaching you seals used in combat, what are commonly called the five points of sealing. These are:

"Seal trap tags.

"Seal barrier shield domes.

"Sealing chains entrapment techniques.

"Containment/release seals - especially good on the palms for sucking up attacks and/or redirecting them.

"And chakra augmentation seals - for yourself - as well as chakra suppression seals - to shove onto others.

"So, before we start training, we need to do a couple of things. First," she held up a long scroll, "you each need to sign the snake summoning contract. So, cut your thumb, sign your name in blood, and put your thumb print next to her name. No, I'm not kidding," she said, rolling her eyes, when her Genin stared.

So, shrugging, they each used a kunai and did as she asked.

Next, she instructed, "Swipe an offering of blood and say, 'Summoning Technique!' You're going to have to put a good chunk of chakra into it."

"Summoning Technique!"

Little baby snakes appeared where their blood had been.

"All you'll be able to summon at first are babies," said Anko. "But I will force you to keep summoning and keep summoning until you can summon bigger animals. But for now, baby snakes will do. Baby snakes are extremely poisonous and just as fast as adults - imagine the applications if you hide them somewhere on your person for a fight.

"Go tell Manda he has three new summoners," she told the baby snakes. They nodded and dissipated in puffs of smoke. "Manda's the boss," she added to them. "He's the big, huge snake you saw once before, outside the Forest of Death.

"The other thing we have to do is deduce your ninjutsu elemental affinities," Anko added. She gave them each a piece of paper once Sakura had finished healing their hands. "This is special chakra paper," said Anko. "Channel chakra into the paper and what happens to the paper should tell us what element you are."

So they each channeled. Sakura's ended up charred, Hinata's ended up shriveled, and Ino's ended up cut.

"Very good," said Anko. "My element is water, and you each have an element I don't have. So we will go to the ninja access library. Sakura will take out fire ninjutsu scrolls, Ino will take out wind ninjutsu scrolls, and Hinata will take out earth ninjutsu scrolls. You will each practice with them.

"Additionally, as I said before, we will also be doing advanced standard taijutsu and sealing techniques and study.

"All the other seals are optional, but you will be tattooing containment/release seals onto your palms. Imagine how useful it would be to hold up your hand and suck a technique inside. Seal barriers can also be very useful - a kind of impenetrable defense against all outside attacks. Sealing chains can hold in the chakra of even the most formidable creatures, and as you've seen, even simple seal trap tags can be very useful. Slapping a chakra suppression seal on someone else or a chakra augmentation seal onto yourself can make all the difference in a fight.

"Once you understand sealing better, you will also better understand the scrolls holding your various poisoned weapons."

* * *

The ninja access library was hidden underground using a concealed trapdoor underneath the Hokage Monument. Anko led them inside, and the girls looked around in awe.

Filling the space were impossibly long, ceiling-length rows of shelves, carrying all manner of books and scrolls. The walls and ceiling were made of stone, and torches burned in brackets every few feet along the walls. Tables were littered throughout with chairs.

"It's like its own library," Sakura whispered, impressed.

"Memorize this space, girls," said Anko. "If you ever want information on a foreign country or village, and also if you ever want to learn a new technique, this is where you come.

"Now, to begin your training."

* * *

Even as they were training, they were also doing missions. This sounded tough, until you took into account what kinds of missions they were doing.

"You'll start out with missions called D ranks," said Anko. "They're basically paid around-the-village chores. You take care of people's gardening, babysit and buy their groceries for them, that sort of thing. Consider it a lesson in humility. As with all things, you start small. But there's a longer explanation, and let me give it to you before we start missions.

"This is how it is for non-war times. Every morning, we go to the mission assignments room, where the Hokage and various Chuunin assign us missions based on what's currently on the books. You see, clients come to Konoha every day. They request things from babysitting to assassinations -"

"Why would someone need a ninja to watch their kid?"

"Who the hell knows? The point is, they feel they do, and we can't turn them away. The list of requests is separated into ranks of A, B, C, and D, according to difficulty. A is the most difficult, D is the least difficult. There are also S ranks, legendarily difficult missions, supposedly - no one actually even knows whether or not they exist, except maybe the council and the Hokage.

"Meanwhile, after the Hokage comes three main ranks. Jounin, then Chuunin, then Genin. You're assigned missions based on what rank you are. Jounin take A ranks, Chuunin take B and C ranks, Genin take C and D ranks to help them gain experience. D ranks are paid chores, while C ranks mostly involve taking out bandits and thugs. Lower ranked ninja start being involved in B ranks, and A ranks are Jounin level ninja going at it.

"A ranks are the most expensive, as you can imagine, and D ranks are the least expensive. The client pays the village, the village pays the ninja. So as a Jounin, even if you don't go on missions that often, you usually live pretty comfortably. Now, I have a Genin team, you guys, so I go on lower level missions with you to show you the ropes and protect you if things go south. But C and D ranks aren't normally in my job description.

"So, you start small and then work your way up to bigger things once you're more experienced. Get it?"

The girls nodded.

"Alright, then," said Anko. "Let's get started."

Most of their D ranks were indeed small fare. Occasionally they did work for a lord of the Fire Country, a member of the Daimyo's court - they babysat Yojyuu-sama's boy, for example. This was an interesting experience.

"Oh my God, this is DISGUSTING," Sakura said fervently, pinching her nose and holding it away as she put a poopy diaper in the trash with the ends of two fingers.

"WHY WON'T HE STOP CRYING?" Ino asked to the air more than once throughout the mission.

"Hey, little guy," said Hinata, bending down, smiling sweetly. "Why don't you -?" The baby spit up all over her. There was a moment as Hinata's expression was deadpan. Hinata's teammates then had to hold her back from doing something drastic in a blind fit of rage.

Anko was laughing the entire time, which didn't help.

Another time, they did a mission for the Fire Daimyo's wife, Madam Shijimi, a vast, brightly painted, loud woman who looked nothing like her skinny little fish-faced husband. Her cat kept running away from her, which made sense, as she was usually either suffocating it between her breasts or shutting it away inside her handbag or squealing at it in a high-pitched tone. But anyway, it was their job to bring the cat back, and a mission was a mission.

So they practiced their chakra sensing skills to find the lost cat, then Hinata used her Byakugan eyes to pinpoint its location and Sakura used a genjutsu to disguise Ino's body control attack. Once the cat was frozen into forced stillness, they could collect its sedate form and bring it back to Madam Shijimi, then release it and let it claw _her_ instead of _them._

But most of their missions were fairly low-key. Anko told them to practice their team management skills to get the D ranks done faster and leave more time for training. So when they went grocery shopping, for example, they divided the grocery list into sections and each went to a different part of the store. When they dug up potatoes, one removed the earth around the potato, one would gently pull it up, and one would drop it in the basket.

And in this way, slowly, they made it through their first missions.


	32. Chapter 32

32.

They stood across from the Hokage in the mission assignments room one morning. It was a vast wood-paneled room, with a hanging sign that said "Everyone Do Their Best." The Hokage sat behind a table surrounded by various Chuunin who were doing different tasks - some were accepting money, some were accepting new missions, some were ranking missions, and some were helping the Hokage himself assign missions.

"Another D rank as usual, Hokage-sama," said Anko casually, but the Hokage shook his head.

"Team Nine, I have a C rank for you, if you will accept it," he said. Anko looked surprised. She glanced behind herself at her Genin and saw that they looked excited.

"Why us, Hokage-sama?" she asked, biding time while she thought.

"Because I have a suspicious feeling about this one, and you're the strongest Genin team currently available," said the Hokage, sitting back and crossing his fingers.

"Hokage-sama, with all due respect… they're only rookies…" Iruka, who was sitting beside him, murmured. "Talented rookies, yes, but -"

"It is I who gets detailed reports on their training regimen, Iruka, not you," said the Hokage, not even glancing at him. "That will do."

Iruka bowed his head.

"What is the suspicious feeling about, Hokage-sama?" said Sakura.

"Here is the mission as it is laid out for you: You must escort a construction manager named Tazuna back to his home island of the Wave Country, and guard him from thieves and bandits while he completes a bridge building project there. You will act as bodyguards," said the Hokage.

Anko raised an eyebrow. "What's wrong with that?"

"He came all the way from Wave Country by foot, alone, to get ninja and bring them back with him," said the Hokage. "If he was truly worried about thugs and bandits -"

"Why would he make the journey to Konoha alone to get ninja," Anko realized.

"He claims no one in particular is after him, but his actions say otherwise," continued the Hokage. "He completed half the bridge, then dropped everything and came here by foot to get ninja and bring them back with him. He claims he was just traveling and passing through on his way back home, but why would he suddenly take a vacation in the middle of a project?"

"Why would he lie, though?" said Ino, surprised and confused.

"Because B and A ranks are expensive," said Anko grimly.

"... I don't know. It may be nothing," said the Hokage. "But ninja must always prepare for the worst. Will you take the mission?"

Anko sighed. "It's troublesome," she admitted. "I'll have to ask my Genin. Girls?" She turned to her team. "What do you think?"

"I think we can handle whatever comes our way," said Hinata calmly.

Ino and Sakura smiled and nodded.

Anko shrugged. "Alright," she said, turning back. "Let's do this."

The Hokage nodded. "I thank you," he said. "Bring Tazuna-san in!" he added in a call. Team Nine turned around.

The door opened and standing there, leaning heavily against the door frame, was a shabby old man, flushed with drink, with a pot belly carrying a beaker of alcohol. "What the hell!" he slurred loudly. "They're all women! How the hell are a bunch o' girls supposed to protect me?"

"Oh, great, a sexist client," said Anko. "My favorite."

"We will protect you well, Tazuna-san," said Hinata formally, bowing slightly. "Please have faith in us."

"Relax, guys, everything'll be okay. He'll see," said Ino breezily.

"Yes. The first time we're attacked, we'll demonstrate our abilities," said Sakura quietly.

"We were picked because we're the best team available, Tazuna-san," said Anko. "You don't have to worry about our abilities. My girls are probably the strongest Genin there are."

Her team smiled.

* * *

They each went to their separate homes to pack for an away mission. Ninja on away missions, in addition to the usual weapons holsters, carried packs on their backs filled with everything they needed. Then they walked by foot, sometimes for days, to their desired destination - no complaining allowed.

Anko had no one to say goodbye to. She'd already told her team that Team 7 had left on their first C rank a day or two ago, not because they were ready for one, but because Naruto had refused to do any more D ranks and demanded a C ranked mission, and his teammates had backed him up. Kakashi had said nothing, but in private he was exasperated. Team 7 was currently escorting a group of refugees being prayed upon by thugs through the pass into River Country. Anko left Kakashi a note for when he got back.

Sakura's mother fussed over her and made sure she'd packed everything she needed, from clothes and toiletries to camping and survival materials. Sakura had decided not to tell her that the mission was a sketchy one potentially higher than a C rank.

Ino's parents told her they were proud of her, and Hinata's father said, "I expect a good report when I get back. I know you will do well." True ninja, they left their daughters to pack by themselves. Ninja had to learn for themselves the consequences of improper preparation.

* * *

Konoha was surrounded by a vast, smooth wooden wall. There were watch towers every several feet along the wall, and a gigantic pair of gates on the north side guarded by Chuunin. When Team Nine plus Tazuna exited through these gates and into the forested path beyond, the Genin had to admit to themselves, it felt pretty good. Freeing, in a sense.

Anko commanded them to take a guard formation around Tazuna, and they began walking in the direction of Wave Country together, hemmed in on either side by long rows of Fire Country trees.

"Tazuna-san, I take it the Wave has no ninja?" Sakura said politely as they walked.

"Nah," said Tazuna, who had sobered up a little in the several hours since they'd last seen him. "We don't have anything like that."

"The Wave is a small island fishing country surrounded by water," said Anko from the front of the formation. "They're not a part of the main Elemental continent, like we are. They were never attacked by foreign powers, and so had no need of a Hidden Village."

"So how will we get to the Wave? By boat?" Hinata asked.

"I have someone waiting for me to pick us up at the coast," said Tazuna.

They walked along in silence for a while, simply enjoying the peace and quiet and the (for the girls) brand-new scenery. Quiet was also vital because it was their job to be observant, alert and wary for intruders, as they'd been taught was proper in so many different exercises from stealth training to genjutsu breaking. Not all attacks came from the front. Ninja, for example, were experts in guerilla warfare, and on this mission they could afford to assume nothing.

This was why they all noticed the puddle of water as they passed by it in the road. Ino opened a mind link. _There are two minds in that puddle,_ she said.

 _Of course. I noticed. It's been dry for days, so a water puddle is out of place. It's a genjutsu,_ said Sakura. _They're trying to disguise themselves and catch us by surprise._

 _I checked with my Byakugan,_ said Hinata. _Two grown men. Missing nin from Kiri, the Hidden Village of the Mist. Wearing masks and black armor, carrying a shuriken chain attached to claws between them. The claws are coated in a subtle kind of poison._

 _I'll be able to identify what it is once we subdue them,_ said Sakura.

 _I'm going to hide and watch to see who these ninja go after. You guys take care of this,_ said Anko.

Her Genin remained surprisingly calm. _Yes, Sensei._

Anko turned to everyone outwardly and smiled cheerfully. "I'm going to scout ahead," she said, and disappeared into the underbrush. Team Kunoichi felt her chakra signature disappear and recognized her hiding in the surrounding trees, watching them.

To the untrained eye, it was the perfect opportunity for the foreign ninja to attack, and they did. They emerged suddenly behind the team and sped behind Ino in a blur of chakra, seeking to entrap her in the chain, chuckling. "Idiot woman," they said together.

Ino smirked. "Idiot men." Then she reached out her palms and sucked the claws complete with shuriken chain inside her palm seals, in the process breaking all the ninjas' fingers.

"Poisoned claws and shuriken chain," said Ino, grinning. "Thanks, guys."

They screamed out. "Bitch!" one shouted, coming at her, but it was too easy. Straight shot. Ino caught him with a body control technique and made him take out a kunai with his feeble, broken fingers and stab himself in the belly. His eyes widened in pain and surprise. "What the hell -?"

Meanwhile, the other ninja had gone straight for Tazuna-san. Sakura sped in front of him and punched the ground, making a crater of impact. The ninja lost his footing and flew backward, right into one of Hinata's Jyuuken attacks.

"You are within my range of divination."

She hit all the spots on his back necessary to paralyze him, then slid smoothly aside and let him fall painfully to the ground. She arced a hand down in a stabbing claw motion and hit him hard in the heart, making his heart explode. He writhed and vomited up blood.

Sakura and Hinata watched the light leave one's eyes as Ino watched the light leave the other's. She let him fall over. They were both dead.

Tazuna had backed up, wide-eyed and pale. "Shit…" he muttered, impressed and also a little terrified.

Anko came out from the underbrush. "Nice job, girls," she said. "Your first kills. How do you all feel?"

They were still staring down at the dead ninja. "I don't know if it's hit me yet," Ino admitted. "I feel funny." The other two nodded.

"Just remember, you did what you had to do. They were going to kill an old civilian man," said Anko. "You just protected him. And you did so without harming yourselves. You did very well today." Sakura moved forward to study the poisoned claws Ino unsealed.

"Tazuna-san." Anko turned a glare at Tazuna. "It seems ninja are after you, just as the Hokage predicted. This is officially Out Of Our Job Description."

Tazuna looked down, stubborn and silent.

"So, team." Anko turned to them. "What should we do from here?"

"I vote that we get him safely back to Wave Country, where he started," said Hinata. "Then we make him explain. If we find his reason insufficient, we leave."

"Sounds good to me," said Ino, shrugging.

"I, too, would like to hear his reasons for why ninja are after him," Sakura admitted. "I want to know if they're good, moral ones before I decide to help him further. But we can't just leave him here in the middle of a road with two dead ninja in Fire Country."

"Why not?" said Anko, deadpan, and Tazuna's eyes widened in alarm. Anko grinned. "Just kidding," she said. "Alright, let's get to the coast. I'll send a summons off to ANBU to pick up the trash," she added casually, referring to the dead bodies.

And so, still a little uneasy, Team Kunoichi turned their backs on the corpses and followed Tazuna and their Sensei away.


	33. Note

Well, the secret is out, I guess. I've been writing different versions of this story under different pen names. I didn't want to tell anyone because I don't need a bunch of people telling me the new version is much worse - I've gotten that reaction before to story rewrites.

But the other two versions of this story, also written by me, are:

Blossoming Flowers by RowanRavenclaw

The Kunoichi Diaries by MistressPsyckoBookwormFreak

The Kunoichi Diaries is my latest rewrite. If you like it less, don't bother telling me - I've sort of been expecting that reaction.


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